Belgian Chocolate Anus Anyone?

March 21, 2016

Nothing says I love you (and your ass) like the gift of a pure Belgian chocolate anus. That’s right, a company in London called Edible Anus offers candy in the shape of a bung-hole, also known as a “bootyhole,” “pooper,” or “bungus.”

“For us”, the company says “making chocolate is an art, which is why we only produce traditional hand made chocolate of the highest standard here in the UK. Our Chocolates come in “meek milk”, “dilated dark” and “tight white Belgian chocolate.” (I’m surprised they didn’t do one with nuts in it or crispy things, to mimic the real texture of the “real” chocolate that comes out of the “Hershey Highway.”)

It all started out as a cheeky art exhibit by London artist and Edible Anus creator Magnus who made a range of butt-hole shaped chocolates for an art exhibition. He originally tried to cast his own, but it didn’t go well, according to his website:

“The Edible Anus first saw the light of day when the London artist, Magnus Irvin, made a range of them in multi-coloured chocolate to present in an exhibition. Initially Mr. Irvin tried to cast his own anus with messy and disastrous results. Whilst explaining his failure to a chance aquaintance at a bus stop he was gratified to find that his fellow bus passenger was willing to allow him to cast her anus. The job was done in just over half an hour later that afternoon and all subsequent anuses have been based on this casting. It is a matter of interest that the person who kindly donated her service has no idea that her anus has now gone global.” Consider it pop art, I mean “poop art.”

“One size fits all,” says the company. “The Edible Anus is the perfect present for Mother’s Day, a family wedding or simply an amuse-bouche for that timid, confirmed bachelor next door.” (More like amuse-butt). The “art-holes” cost $12.50 for a box of three.

The company even gets political and says “We also believe the anus range can dissolve cultural boundaries of race, gender, class, and sexual orientation. So spread the joy, and let’s all teach the world to LOVE EACH OTHER AND LOVE THE ANUS.”

It’s better than being an asshole.