Change Up Your Masturbation Techniques

Getting bored with your masturbation routine? Try out some of these techniques. They’re sure to make you feel like your alone time is truly all about you.

For Women

• Get in the tub, light some scented candles, and pour yourself a glass of wine. As you soak in the warm water, your muscle tension will melt. You’ll be more responsive to touch when you’re relaxed. If you don’t have a waterproof sex toy, use a hand-held shower head. Vary the settings to find the right one to find a sensation that you can’t replicate with your fingers. If you don’t have a hand-held shower head, as the tub is filling, scrunch up close to the water as it pours out of the faucet.

• Borrow an oral sex tip from the guys: write the alphabet with your pinky on your clit or trace the number 8 over and over with a lubed fingertip on or around the clit and your inner labia.

• Use your index and ring fingers to hold open your labia. This frees up your middle finger to stroke the tip of your clitoris.

• Don’t have a clitoral stimulator? The back end (non-bristle) side of a battery-operated toothbrush works as a great, inexpensive stand-in. Just make sure that you keep in in your nightstand or wherever you store your sex toys so you won’t accidentally use it for what it’s intended.

For Men

• To keep your erection after ejaculating, stroke to the point that you are ready to ejaculate – but then do not touch your penis and relax all of your muscles. The orgasm will be less intense, but you will stay erect and can continue, and you will not lose the excitement in your body.

• Using both hands when you masturbate instead of just one, or grip your penis with one hand and lay face down on the bed, thrusting into your hand as you would if you were thrusting into a woman’s vagina. Using a good amount of lube can feel warm and wet, just like a vagina. By using your body to move your penis in and out of your hand (instead of the other way around), you’ll recreate the feeling of having sex rather than just jacking off.

• Another trick to recreate the feeling of a vagina during masturbation without using sex toys is to use a condom, lube and a warm, but not hot, towel. Squirt a generous amount of lube in the condom and then put the condom on your penis. (Using a condom that is a little larger than your penis may benefit you here.) Wrap a warm towel around your penis after you put the condom on, and grip the warm towel and move it back and forth when you masturbate.

• Using both hands, one at the bottom and one at the top of the penis, gently wring in opposite directions. Use the motion from bottom to top as if you were wringing out a cloth — squeeze the semen out, not in.

• On a comfortable surface like your bed, sit on your heels with each heel gently spreading your butt cheeks comfortably, don’t overstretch. Masturbate as you wish, using your favorite technique. When you are about to ejaculate, spread your cheeks and feel the deep orgasm stem from your perineum. There’s a pressure point in the center of the perineum that creates intense orgasms.

For Women and Men

• Can’t be together? Get a smartphone tripod to leave your hands free to do other things while you’re sharing some Skype time or Face Time and enjoy some sexy phone or video sex together long distance. You can even add new sex tech devices and toys that can be used remote across long distances.

• Know your lubes. Silicone lubes last longer than water-based lubes. However, because of their long-lasting properties, you’ll want to clean up with soap and water afterward. Also, don’t use silicone lube with silicone sex toys. Silicone lube will damage silicone sex toys. If you’re not sure what your sex toy is made of, stick with water-based lube.


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Bobby Morgan was a prolific and dedicated sex blogger, sexuality advocate and beditor-in-chief at A Good Woman's Dirty Mind (2012-2015), as well as creator of #AdultSexEdMonth (2013-2015). She was well loved and know by the sex-positive educator's community. She died suddenlt in 2015 at the age of 52, leaving a large body of work behind her. Before she died, she made me an Admin of her FB page, and gave me permission to syndicate her articles. So much of her writing still resonates today, so I am making her work available via Sexpert to share with a larger audience. "[My blog] was built on the inspiration of the love affair of a lifetime between me and my lover, Parrot... If only we could teach, bottle, sell or share our secrets of our great sex, romance and relationship, more people would be happier and more fulfilled. Like the way Parrot and I talk with each other, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is open, frank, and nakedly explicit in the way it talks about sex and relationships... In short, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is all about real sex — and really great sex at that — for real people." Website:


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