The first beer made from the bacteria of a lady’s vagina has been bottled. Yep, that’s right, a vagina beer start-up has bottled the lactic acid bacteria from the vajajay of a Czech model named Alexandra Brendlova. The company, The Order of Yoni, says they took bacteria from the lovely Miss Brendlova’s hoo-ha (using a “gynaelogical” stick”) then sent it to the lab, where the lactic acid bacteria was “isolated and cleaned” then multiplied. Sexy? Gross? You decide.
I’m a bit skeptical of the “cleaned out in the lab” part, because if a prestigious medical center in LA can’t even keep it’s medical equipment from giving people bacterial infections, can we really trust some creepy guys selling vaginal bacteria beer on Indiegogo?
The bacteria is combined with hops, wather, malt, yeast, and wooden chips to make the “essence of a woman” beer. “Imagine a woman of your dreams, your object of desire, her charm, her sensuality, and her passion,” reads the ad copy. “Try her taste, feel her smell, hear her voice. Imagine her massaging you passionately and whispering into your ear everything you want. Now free your fantasies and imagine with a magic wand you can close it in one bottle of beer.” Imagine getting out more.
On their Order of Yoni site, they state that any future models who want to volunteer their yonis up for future beer brewing must sign a contract “with high penalty for working in adult industry, sex industry, as adult actress, escort, prostitute,etc.”
For $39 Euros (about $45) you will get a beer and a beer glass. For a few more Euros you get a signed poster. And for 10,000 Euros (about 11,400 dollars), you can get the “Girlfriends” Bacteria” special where you get 60 bottles of beer “produced from your girlfriend’s vaginal bacteria. Oh, and 40 grams of the bacteria to produce home-made kefir.” (liquid yogurt) “Additionally,” they note, it “may require visit to gynecologist in Poland or Germany.”
Vagina beer model Alexandra Brendlova.