Monday, September 23, 2019
Home Authors Posts by Carrie Borzillo

Carrie Borzillo

With her provocative writing style and penchant for in-depth research, Carrie Borzillo has earned renown and respect over her 20 years as a music and entertainment journalist. Her talents and passion for pop culture have also resulted in three critically-acclaimed books: Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day by Day Chronicle (Carlton Books, 2000; re-issued to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's passing in 2014 as Nirvana: In the Words of the People Who Were There; Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008), and Tera Patrick's Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn (Gotham/Penguin, 2010). A bona fide rock chick from birth, Carrie started her music journalism career at age 17. She covered the local music scene in her home state of Connecticut before graduating to publications such as Billboard, Spin and She has also covered celebrities, television, and music for People, E! Online, Us Weekly, and Teen People, and has penned cover stories for Billboard, TeenPeople, CosmoGirl! and Hit Parader. She has also written about sex advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose magazine, and has appeared as a sexpert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew, Playboy Radio, and others. She currently writes about sex and relationships for Men's Health, Sphere, and others.

Need A Libido Boost? These Women Over 40 Have Some Great Ideas

*Photos by

You know that old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” Well, these eight women flash some serious side-eye to that sentiment by trying something new, past the age of 40, that transformed their sex lives forever. Here are their suggestions, so take notes!

Try Tantric Sex

Tantric Sex is not all about having sex for hours on end as rock star Sting once boasted. It actually includes realistic practices that can help sex last longer. “My boyfriend and I learned the tantric  ‘Breath of Fire’ in which he breathes very fast through his nose to delay his climax. To feel more sensation during the Big O, we growled like tigers to tap into our primal nature. Sounds silly, but it totally worked!” explains Caroline, 51.

Take Sexy Selfies – For Yourself!

For Lisa, 46, taking sexy photos of (and for!) herself gave her a whole new sense of self… and sexiness! “I gained a lot of weight and my self-confidence was down. So I started taking photos of myself for fun. With my digital camera, I was able to control the angle, the lighting, and use a filter and I liked what I saw. I gave me my confidence back. I don’t apologize for my size anymore and I feel more confidence in life and the bedroom,” she says.

Embrace Your Inner Goddess With Buti Yoga

BUTI instructor Karen Resulto of One Down Dog ( in L.A. in “Goddess” Pose. Photo by Rachel Madrigal

If you want to feel like a warrior princess, a goddess, and a sex kitten all in one hour, then try BUTI yoga. That’s how Carrie, 47, describes this unique yoga practice that combines shakti (the female principle of divine energy) awakening power yoga, primal movements, and tribal dance with a bit of twerking, belly dancing, and exotic dance moves. “When I get out of BUTI class, I want to have sex. I feel sexy, strong, powerful and very fired up. It awakens the goddess in me!” she says.



Take a Burlesque Class

Burlesque, a form of striptease that dates back to the 1800s, helps women learn how to tease and seduce in a classy way using vaudeville-style props and cheekiness. (Pun intended!) “My friend told me it was very empowering, so I gave it a shot. I would practice my routine for my boyfriend after class and we both loved it. I would never dance for a guy like that before, but this class was a real confidence-builder and it spiced up the relationship big time,” says Janie, 47.

Book A Boudoir Photo Shoot

Photo courtesy of

Why should models have all the fun? Photo studios, like Iconic Pinups in L.A., offer Pinup Girl and Boudoir photo shoots to help women tap into their inner pinup model or vixen. ” It brought back the va-va-voom in me! I gave a book of my Iconic Pinup photos to my boyfriend as a gift and it reminded us of our desire for each other. I felt sexier and when you feel sexy, the sex is better!” says Shari, 54.

Sext Your Partner

A recent study reported that 80% of adults have sexted. Have you? Sending sexy photos and/or messages is a great way to add some spice into any relationship. Just ask Alexa, 47. “I’ll sext my boyfriend all day and by the time I get home, we’re just ready for each other. When you’re flirting all day, you feel hornier at night. It’s also a great way to ask for what you want sexually without having the awkward conversation in person,” she says.

Smoke Some Weed

Guess what? Cannabis is now an aphrodisiac. Many sativa strains are blended specifically to increase the libido. “I smoked for the first time in about 20 years and it opened doors for me sexually. I had an absolute sexual awakening with weed. It helped me let go of insecurities and made me feel freer. I walk around naked now… and I’m crazier in bed. And, that feeling has stayed with me even when I’m not smoking weed,” says Jennifer, 49.

Read Erotica

If reading is to the mind what exercise is the to the body, then reading erotica is to the female libido what Viagra is for men with erectile dysfunction! “I didn’t realize how not in touch with my sexuality I was until I started reading erotica late one night. It woke me up, and taught me a lot. I learned to use my voice in bed, which was a liberating lesson for me and made it hot for my lover,” says Kate, 49.

bee2gether vibe – Toy Review

At the risk of sounding utterly sexist, sometimes it takes a woman to get women’s sex toy just right. That’s where Kelli Young, creator of the bee2gether vibe comes in. Not only is she a licensed sex therapist, but she’s also a psychotherapist, marriage and family therapist, and occupational therapist. And, she designed this with the 75% of women who don’t orgasm through vaginal penetration alone in mind.

The bee2gether vibe is a couples’ sex toy with a silicone cock ring attached to a studded vibrating extension (approx. 2-inches long by 1.5-inches wide) that comes with a handy-dandy wireless remote control and a USB charging base (no batteries needed!). Its patent-pending “Pleasure Zone Design” is made to fit the clit and vulva just right.

The bee2together vibe in its charging dock.

But, what it doesn’t advertise is that it feels good on the anus too! I decided to try it out by myself, and with my boyfriend, in several different positions and here’s what I found…


It’s a fun little number to add to your self-love repertoire. It can be worn over your fingers for a nice clitoral rub, or you can wear it over a dildo if you’re in the mood for penetration and clitoral stimulation. And, it’s waterproof so it’s a welcome addition to your bubble bath.


First, let me make a case for this position. The missionary position gets a bad rap. Personally, it’s my go-to position for morning sex when I’m not quite awake yet for positions that require more energy, such as Cowgirl or any standing position. And, it’s also my go-to for post-workout sex when my yoga-tortured quads shiver at the thought of Reverse Cowgirl. With the vibrator positioned right on your clitoris, this toy lets you just lay there being as lazy in bed as you want to but still get off.

Cowgirl, a.k.a. Woman on Top

There’s one trick to having him wear this for Cowgirl. It did its job when I was on top of him grinding or swirling. But, it’s not so great if you are pumping up and down on his rod because it doesn’t hit the bull’s eye every time.

Reverse Cowgirl

Similar to regular Cowgirl, you have to make sure it’s in the right place. If you’re bouncing around like crazy, the vibe’s not going to hit the clit each time. I had more fun in this position by taking it off his penis and putting it on my fingers to use while riding him.

Back Door Play

It’s not technically an anal toy, but we decided to go off-script a bit and try it out in the backdoor. In Cowgirl, I reversed the ring so the vibrator was touching my anus. The vibration felt great there, so I tried to insert it a little but it was too short to stay put there – and, wasn’t designed for that anyway. You can wear it backwards in Missionary too to get that same vibrating sensation down there. For women intrigued by anal, but not quite ready to go there, it’s small enough that it makes for a great introductory anal vibe – kind of like a vibrating anal bullet that you insert with your hand.

There’s good news and bad news for the man in this equation as well. The good news is that that, like with most cock rings, it can help him last longer. And, some men love the vibrating sensation. But others can be distracted by it. If you love it, but he doesn’t just tell him this: “It’s less multi-tasking for YOU to do in bed!”

bee2together vibe creator Kelli Young.

“Dr. Kat’s Flutter Ring” by Adam & Eve – Toy Review

As a sex writer, I get a lot of free sex toys, lubes, condoms, whips, and sometimes even chains thrown my way. Often times, I’m simply too busy to try them all and they end up in their special three-drawer cabinet file, which I like to call my own personal Island of Misfit Sex Toys, until I need to write about them.

But when I received Dr. Kat’s Flutter Ring ($29.95, phthalate and latex free, waterproof) I instantly gave it a go based on looks alone. First, vibe rings are my favorite category of toy, so it’s always fun to try something new. They get right to the point, fit nicely in a nightstand, and travel well in my carry-on luggage (I once got stopped by TSA at the airport because apparently my dildo looked like a bomb). But, don’t let the name fool you. It’s a ring for your or your partner’s finger — not a cock ring that goes around the base of the penis.

Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a board certified sexologist, host of the podcast Sex Chat with Dr. Kat, and author of the book, The Married Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to Saving Your Sex Life, also had me at her unique “flutter” look and technology. It’s a super-soft silicone pink finger ring with a vibrating bullet inside featuring four “wings” and a small little hole in the middle where the head of your clit goes.

What makes it stand out from the plethora of other vibrating rings or mini magic bullets on the market is that the vibrating “wings,” which quite literally flutter like a butterfly’s wings, vibrate and stimulate the larger area surrounding the clit. Most vibe rings focus on the clit’s head, a.k.a., “the little man in the boat,” a.k.a., “the love button.”

But, clitoral stimulation can come from the shaft (which can be about 4″) and legs of the clit — yes, your clit has legs. The legs, or clitoral crus, extend out from the shaft in the shape of a wishbone.

Dr. Kat’s research showed that most women have increased orgasmic response with indirect stimulation versus direct. The ring, which measures about 3.75″ x 2.75′ and features 10 vibration speeds and functions that go from fast to slow and continuous to pulsating, surrounds the clit with vibration from each side instead of just directly on the tip. This is great news for women who are too sensitive on the tip, or for those whom which direct clitoral stimulation causes pain. It also teases the labia and creates vibrations that roll through that area from the outside in. It’s a great way to discover what other areas of your clitoral region can bring you pleasure.

I gave it a go and it was total information overload for all 8,000 nerve endings down there. And, yes, the fluttering effect was so novel and exciting that by the time I could say “butterfly kisses,” I was done. It’s relentless, simple, and, well, direct in its indirectness!

Dr. Kat, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and AASECT certified Sex Therapist.

5 Weird Things To Do To His Penis

Before I stepped into “Snake Charming” class on my trip to Hedonism II, the clothing optional, adults only resort in Negril, Jamaica, I thought there is no way I’m going to learn anything new. At the risk of sounding cocky, my boyfriend says my hand-job skills are quite epic.

But, we were at Hedo to try new things, like going nude 24/7, having sex on the beach, and taking the weeklong courses in Tantric sex for couples. So, epic skills aside, we gave it a go.

Well, kudos to Kim and Brad Walker of Houston, Texas-based Tantric Hearts, who have been teaching tantric sex and couples workshops at Hedonism II for 17 years, for proving me oh so wrong. They taught this old dog a few new tricks – 16 new tricks in fact, five of which I’ll share in detail.


During class we learned how to massage the penis with the Thank U, Sausage Roll, Polish the Helmet, The OK, Windshield Wiper, Fire Starter, Ring N Tickle, Peace Grip, Thumb PPT (PPT=Pressure Point), Knuckle PPT, Bendy Thing, Sextension, Press N Pull, Peace Press (not to be confused with the aforementioned Peace Grip), Vas Press, and the Thumbs Up.



Here are five of my boyfriend’s favorites:

Windshield Wiper

Put oil on your man’s belly just above the pubic bone and pull gently down on his scrotum. With your hand placed flat on the outside shaft of his penis, you move the penis from left to right like a windshield wiper (the oil helps it glide with ease). This one evoked a bit of a giggle from us. My boyfriend thought it was “exciting” because it was new, but didn’t quite love it as much as other techniques.

The OK

Make the “OK” sign with your thumb and first finger in the shape of a circle and your remaining fingers straight up and place the tip of the penis in the circle. Focus the massage on the ridge and tip of the head. Some men are too sensitive for this, so be aware of how your partner is responding.

Sausage Roll

Grasp the base of his cock with one hand and layer your other hand in a grip on the top of his penis so that the edges of your fists are touching. Hold this penis tightly, but don’t squeeze too hard. Stroke the penis with both hands going in unison up and down. This makes a guy with a small penis feel bigger.

Polish the Helmet

Grasp the penis tightly with a full-hand grip. As you are stroking it up and down, place your other hand over the tip of the penis with the head in the middle part of the inside of hand and move that hand in circles. It helps if the inside of that hand is oil-ed up. It’s kind of like the thing we all did as kids where you’re patting your hand and circling your belly to test your coordination.

Fire Starter

Don’t attempt this dry! Coconut oil is your best friend here or you can cause some serious friction to your man’s skin. Place one hand on one side of the penis and the other on the other side and move your hands back and forth as if you are starting a fire with a stick, or when one rubs their hands together to generate heat. This works best when the penis is placed between closed-fingers so that the fingers feel like ridges.

Embarrassed To Buy Condoms? Safer Sex, Delivered

Is anyone really embarrassed to buy condoms at the store anymore? Apparently so. If you search Google for “too embarrassed to buy condoms” 1.76 million results appear. You’ll find countless articles titled along the lines of “How To Buy Condoms Discreetly” or “10 Things More Embarrassing Than Buying Condoms,” and terrified teens tearing up the message boards on Reddit and Yahoo! Answers with cries for help like “I’m too embarrassed to buy condoms. Help!”

Embarrassed cartoon face

Here’s a thought, kiddos: Buy them on Amazon! Or… have a little more fun with your online shopping and subscribe to CupidQuiver, a monthly condom subscription service (like Birchbox for beauty products, BarkBox for doggie goods, or HelloFresh for recipes, this is a box for sex) that delivers you condoms before you need them. What CupidQuiver offers that Amazon doesn’t are fun little extras like free lubes, little role play cards, sexy tips on using lube, and/or other miscellaneous product they decide to throw in for fun.

“Remember the Saturday Night Live skit, D**k in a Box? We like to think of ourselves as Sex in a Box,” quips Todd Harris, President of CupidQuiver, which launched in mid-March.

But in all seriousness, the beauty of what CupidQuiver provides is that they reliably deliver what you need before you need it. “The goal for our clients is to have fun, safely, and to always be prepared. Nothing is worse than getting intimate only to realize you are out of protection! Remembering condoms after-the-fact is not ideal,” says Harris.

Here’s how it works: You choose the type of ID Condoms condom that you want: Studded, Extra Thin, Extra Large, or Superior Feel Lubricated. Then you choose your package: No Strings Attached (1 condom for $1 plus $2 shipping and handling), Friends with Benefits (3 condoms for $5), Singles Mingle (6 condoms plus 1 ID lube for $7), or Lucky You (10 condoms plus 1 lube for $10). The latter three packages include shipping and handling. And, you can easily change your subscription based on how fast or slow your sex life is moving.

Harris tells that they are shooting for a late-July launch of curated “Fun Boxes.” “They will include sex toys, more tips, and other bedroom goodies,” he says.

CQ Mailer

Manly Toys For May Masturbation Month

For most guys, their hand, some lotion, and a little privacy is all they need for a successful masturbation session. Hell, sometimes the lotion isn’t even needed… or the privacy for that matter. The point being – men are simpler than women when it comes to getting off.

But the problem is, in their simplicity, they often miss out on some great masturbation toys because they think they don’t need it, which is why we’re dedicating this article for May’s Masturbation Month to male masturbation devices.

You see, in my not-so-humble experience, most men don’t realize how amazing masturbation – either solo or mutual masturbation sessions with a partner – can be with the aid some of the fancy toys out there. In fact, 9 out of 10 men I’ve been with have never used a stroker, a fake pussy, or any other masturbation device on the market. They think it’s “weird” or “unnecessary.” But, when I spring one on them, let’s just say: Masturbation. Game. Changer!

Guys, if you’re still shaking your head “no,” just read with an open mind. Ladies, these items make for great gift ideas for your man.

Guybrator – Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo

You might have heard about this on Saturday Night Live, but Hot Octopuss’ PULSE, the world’s first Guybrator, is no joke. The male masturbator was featured on SNL when the savvy London-based sex toy company erected a “GuyFi” booth in NYC for men to “self-soothe” as a marketing stunt in January 2016. The stunt created insane brand awareness for the award-winning product and increased visitors to their website from 1,000 to 20,000 in just three hours following the event.

What’s unique about the PULSE II Solo (their male-only toy for $99) is that is uses oscillation technology instead of vibration. “We’ve created a high amplitude, deep basey vibration, which is better for stimulating men. The regular vibration used in female toys works great for women, but not for men,” says co-founder/inventor Adam Lewis.

PULSE can be used in two ways: With lubricant and without. With lubricant, the man lubricates his penis, inserts it into the unit, and masturbates with the device. Or, he can insert his penis into the toy without lubricant, turn the toy on, and, as Lewis puts it “it finishes him off without having to do anything whatsoever. So it’s the lazy toy in that respect.”

It’s also great for men with erectile dysfunction issue. “We discovered that men can actually orgasm completely flaccid. For example, if a man suffers from prostate cancer and he no longer can get an erection, he would’ve probably given up masturbating because it’s like pulling on a rubber string. However, he can use PULSE completely flaccid and still achieve an orgasm. Or it’s good for a man suffering from erectile dysfunction who just has a hard time getting an erection, this can help him get one,” adds Lewis.

Also, be sure to check out their couples’ toy as well – the PULSE II Duo ($139). The toy is worn by him, but provides vibrations on both sides to pleasure both partners.

Blowjob Robot

Male Masturbation - Auto Blow

There was clearly a demand for robot that can blow you because when founder/creator Brian Sloan set a goal of $275,000 for his Autoblow 2, they ended up raising $318,000 instead. More than 100,000 units at about $159.95 a pop of this robotic oral sex simulator for men have been sold since it debuted in 2014, and the demand is so high that they even released an Autoblow 2.

What’s the fuss? It’s hands’ free, has several speeds, and can go up until 1,000 hours or until “your dick falls off,” as Sloan says in their hilarious how-to video. “The Autoblow 2+ is more powerful and we added an extra row of beads plus covered the springs which used to wear away at the sleeves. We made a new sleeve with Real Doll to give guys something nicer to look at than the relatively strange looking mouth we created,” says Sloan.

Prostate Massagers

Male Masturbation Hugo Black
LELO Hugo in black

We’ve covered oral and hands, now let’s talk anal. LELO reports that with prostate stimulation, the size of the male orgasm can increase by 33% and prolonged use of prostate massage can help alleviate symptoms of erectile dysfunction.

The company offers three vibrating prostate massagers: Hugo ($219), Bruno ($169), and Loki ($169). They’re like the three little bears of prostate massagers – Hugo’s the most powerful with its hands-free feature and 8 settings for the more experienced man, Bruno’s somewhere in the middle, and Loki, which is hand-held for manual stimulation, is better suited for the beginner.

Male Masturbation Bruno Purple
LELO Bruno in purple
Male Masturbation Loki Federal Blue
LELO Loki in blue

“Although the prostate can be reached with fingers it’s near impossible to do solo without the aid of a tool,” says Sunny Megatron, sex educator and host of “Sex with Sunny Megatron.” “If you have a partner to help with the massage it can be very stressful on their fingers, hands, and wrists making it difficult to maintain for long periods. Massagers not only make things easier in that regard, the vibration also gives more pleasure options than a stationary object.”

Travel Toys

Male Masturbation Travel Pump

If your boyfriend or husband travels a lot and has a wondering eye, this is the perfect gift for him. Why have him be tempted by the prostitute in the hotel lobby bar on that business trip when you can send him off with Nasstoy’s Travel Pump? It’s a compact travel kit ($50) with two interchangeable bases (one for suction like a BJ and one with a vagina base for sex simulation) in three powerful suction settings, as well as 4 cock rings and a discrete zippered shaving kit-style carrying bag. Remember, for better suction results, shave your pubic hair!

Simple Strokers

If you don’t want to spend a lot of money or dive into the more complex items, there’s a bevy of simple strokers available for $10-$20. Doc Johnson’s Mood Pleaser masturbators, for instance, comes in a very artsy shape with four distinct internal textures (massage beads, thin ribbed, zigzag, and thick ribbed) and four stylish colors (frost, purple, blue, and orange).

Male Masturbation Doc Johnson Mood Pleaser Purple 1Male Masturbation Helping Head

My favorite stroker to enhance my BJ game is Doc Johnson’s GoodHead Helping Head ($12). It’s a 2-inch mini-stroker that I use to stroke my partner’s penis as I’m giving him head. It makes my “job” a lot easier. You can use these with lube or without, but it’s better with! This is a great intro toy to the guy who is sex-toy-shy.

Top 4 Online STD-Dating Sites

Online dating is hard enough for anyone. But it’s even harder for those living with a sexually transmitted disease. In the fast-paced, ADD-afflicted digital dating era that we are in having an STD is just one more reason to get ghosted or dumped faster than you can ask, “Do you have a condom?” Luckily, there’s an app for that. In honor of April’s STD Awareness Month, we bring you four great dating sites specifically for people with STDs.

Hope: Hope is a dating website and app for singles living with HIV, HPV, and Herpes. “Gone are the days when you had to quit dating just because you’d been diagnosed with an sexually transmitted disease. Hope is certainly a ray of hope for all those who are under the impression that STDs could mark an end to their love life,” states the site. The app includes the typical dating app features, such as matchmaking, a SpeedMatch swiping option, chatting, Facebook connect, and a proximity search, as well as the ability to exchange virtual gifts.

POZ Personals: is the fastest growing online website for people affected by HIV/AIDS, as well as an award-wining print magazine. While the site does have the popular POZ Personals for finding romantic partners, it’s also a general online community for those living with HIV to connect and support each other and to keep up on the latest medical news and HIV/AIDS-related events and initiatives. POZ Personals has 150,000 members nationwide. 

PositiveSingles: With just over 1 million members, PositiveSingles is the No. 1 STD and Herpes dating site and mobile app for people with Herpes (HSV-1, HSV-2), HPV, HIV/AIDS, and Hepatitis. Their description of “Tinder-style dating app for STD singles” is spot-on in both the look of the app and user experience. Members can even search for partners with their exact disease and it gets as specific as identifying as HSV-1 (herpes type 1, usually cold sore) or HSV-1 (herpes type 1, usually genitals). Along with the aforementioned diseases, you can also identify as having syphilis, gonorrhea, thrush, or chlamydia. The app is free to download and connect with locals, but memberships allow users more flexibility and features. Memberships cost $33.99 for one month, $69.99 for three months, and $109.99 for six months.

Hzone: Hzone is another Tinder-like dating app for iPhone only right now geared toward people who are HIV positive. Features include a QuickMatch option, a location-based algorithm, and a cool diary section to share your feelings, updates on your life, and photos. While the app is free, VIP Memberships cost $24.99 for one month, $44,95 for three months, and $74.95 for six months to connect and chat with anyone in the app without restrictions.

What Does She Really Think Of Your Penis?

Men certainly obsess over their penises more than woman do their breasts. Is it big enough? Is it long enough? Are my balls weird looking? Let me let you into a little secret: We don’t really care what your penis looks like. We care about what you do with it (and your oral and hand skills too) and how you treat us.

Still, there are some common issues that we have with your junk. But the good news is, resourceful women find a way around them. Here’s what we found…

Extreme Sizes

Though it’s the first thing we notice about your penis, size doesn’t really matter to most women. In fact, researchers at UCLA reported that 84% of women feel “very satisfied” with their partner’s penis size. But, many women don’t like a penis that is too big or too small.

“His penis was about 10-inches long and very girthy. My first thought was not, ‘Wow. I’m a lucky lady.” It was, ‘Shit! How am I going to get this thing in my mouth and will it hurt my vagina?!’ Big is not always better. But, with a lot of foreplay to warm me up and lube, we worked it out,” says Lyndsey, 32.

On the flip side, Tina, 38, had a hard time adjusting to a below-average penis. (Studies show that the average penis size is 5.1-5.8 inches erect.) “It was so short and thin that I would’ve broken up with him over it if he hadn’t been good at oral and sex toys… and he was a great guy, so we made it work,” she says.

Crazy Curves

While Sean, 34, feels “blessed” to have had a “decent selection” of cock over the years, one penis threw him for a loop – literally. “It was so crooked it looked like a candy cane. I didn’t know what to do with it – lick it like a candy cane? We still had fun though, it just made me stop and go, ‘Whoa.'”

Like Sean, Lisa, 29, was also dumbfounded when she came eye to eye with her first curved penis. “It was weird. I didn’t know what to do with it! It curved way down. It didn’t turn me off, but I wish he said something or warned me. I did some research and apparently a curvature like that is good for doggy style, so I’ll be ready when I see him next.”

That said, if your curvature prohibits you from having sex, it could be Peyronie’s disease and a trip to your urologist is a must.

Uncircumcised Surprises

With a whopping 80% of men in the U.S. circumcised, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it’s no wonder that many women are stunned when they come head to head with a whole lotta foreskin for the first time.

“I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m a little weirded-out by uncircumcised penises,” says Janet, 45. “The problem is that I wasn’t sure what to do with it. Do I pull it down before I put it in my mouth? It needs to come with an instruction manual or guys need to realize it’s sometimes confusing to women and maybe they can show or tell us what to do.”

The other problem, women report, is the fear of what’s lurking under all that foreskin, such as fuzz and lint or that white sticky substance known as smegma. If she’s grossed out, tell her that smegma is “completely sterile,” says Dr. Brian Steixner, MD, the director of the Institute for Men’s Health at Jersey Urology Group.

“It’s just a naturally produced substance a combination of shed skin cells, oil from skin, and some moisture. But, guys do need to wipe it down with a warm washcloth before sex and clean it in the shower regularly,” adds Dr. Steixner.

Bald Balls

The debate over pubic hair rages on. But one thing is certain: No one likes a full bush. But, to be bald or not to be bald? That is the still the lingering question. Most women we spoke to do not find a totally hairless sack attractive… and here’s why.

“I don’t like it. I get distracted. And then I think, ‘If he’s obsessed with his hair there is he judging mine right now?’ If we started dating, would he be OCD with the dishes and other things?” says Candace, 31.

When in doubt, err on the side of caution and give your junk a nice 5 o’clock shadow instead – neatly trimmed was the consensus in Is Pubic Hair Making a Comeback?

Stink D*#k

Just like you don’t enjoy going down on a foul-smelling vagina, we don’t like having a rank rod in our face. “My mouth is not going anywhere near anything that smells gamey,” says Janet, or, really, says every woman.

It’s simple guys: Wash up before you get down. Yes, this might mean you need to take a time-out in the throws of passion to duck into the bathroom to clean your cock. But, trust me, she’ll appreciate it. “The quickest way to wash your penis is with soap and water, but remember to rinse well so that your dick doesn’t taste like soap,” says Dr. Steixner.


How To Take A Dick Pic

Everyone is doing it, so you mind as well learn how to take a good shot. But, before we get started, the first rule of thumb is to only send one to someone who asked for it. Most women don’t appreciate an unsolicited photo of your cock.

While it used to be considered a crass, immature thing that only Tinder users do as a 20-something booty-call tactic, the truth is that there are a rising number of committed couples that have realized the power of sexting with their mate. And, while sexting doesn’t have to include naked photos, it’s a nice way to get your partner in the mood…if you do it right!

A prime example of an epic fail on this front comes from one of my friends who has been married for over 10 years. She and her husband started sexting each other to spice things up. It’s actually good foreplay, especially if you sext during the day to get him excited to come home and, well, come with you.

Unfortunately, my friend’s husband made a few critical mistakes. His first mistake taking the photo in the bathroom with the toilet seat up and not flushed. When he tried again, some of their kids’ toys were in the background. Toilets and children didn’t exactly get her hot and heavy.

Taking a good dick pic is such a “thing” now that there’s even a New York photographer who is making a business out of it. Soraya Doolbaz, who calls herself “a professional dick photographer,” takes the traditional dick pic up a notch by creating little costumes from doll outfits and personalities for her male models. Her “Dicture Gallery” features guys’ penises dressed up as everything from Napoleon Boner Parte to Dongye West to Adolf Clit Tickler. She even exhibited her photographs at the world-famous Art Basil in Miami last year.

If you don’t want to go that far, just follow these simple tips for your own dick selfies…

Trim the Trunk

Proper grooming is always the first best step to anything sex or genital related. Make sure you’re trimmed up nicely… unless full bush is truly your thing. But, if it is, please remember that most women don’t dig the ’70s bush.

Edit the Scene

Just like setting the scene for Skype sex, it’s important to be aware of your background. It’s more about what you don’t want to show – the toilet, dirty towels, toothbrushes, kid or pet toys, and clutter, etc. If you take the shot in a mirror, look what’s in the reflection and edit out anything that is not sexy.

Consider Your Privacy

If you are afraid of getting hacked or confused about how can get into your Cloud, it’s perfectly fine to send a photo that doesn’t show your face. In fact, some women find it sexier…even if you have a handsome mug. “My boyfriend sent me a dick pic once with his full body and face in it and the look on his face just cracked me up. He was trying too hard to look sexy for the camera, that it kind of backfired. Just a pic of his junk would’ve been hot enough,” says Rachel, 35.

Use a Filter

A well-lit penis can make the difference between a reaction of     “ewww” and “ooohhh!” If you can’t figure out the best lighting for your Johnson,    then make good use of filters on your phone. A great filter can help diminish the look of veins, uneven skin color, and even slight blemishes. Black and white is a cool way to go as well.

“A guy I had been talking to sent me a dick pic. The part of his penis that is always exposed was one color – slightly grayish. But, the extended part when he got hard was a nice pink color. I was grossed out by the two-tone,” says Sara, 27.

Position the Pole

The right angle can make your penis look larger. You need to take a lot of test shots from different angles to find your key position. Do a solo photo shoot to figure this out and then have the images saved for when the time comes that a penis pic is requested. If you want to show off your length and girth, put a water bottle in the shot.

Lying down in bed is the sexiest because then every time he says he’s going to bed, I’ll have that image in my head. And, it makes me think that he’s lying there about to jerk off to me, which is super flattering. It’s a great visual. I can’t get my guy’s pic out of mind and I look at it often. The head sticking out of her cool boxers is another way to go.

All right guys, your penis is now ready for its close-up!

Is Her Cleavage Giving You the Green Light?

Love signals are often hard to see or interpret. For instance, if she’s staring in your eyes and hanging on your every word, does it mean she’s romantically interested in you? Perhaps. Or, it just means she’s a good listener and you’re a good talker. But, when it comes to sexier signals – especially related to man’s best friend, the boobs – all reasoning seems to go out the window.

Men are obsessed with breasts. That’s why when a woman accidentally brushes them with her knockers, wears a plunging neckline, or dares to shimmy her assets anywhere near their eyesight, they wonder, “Is she flirting with me? Did she do that on purpose?” My male friends often come to me with these tales and ask me to help decipher the signs for them.

I’m here to demystify what her boobs may, or may not, be trying to relay to you.

The Boob Brush

Her Story: Nine times out of 10, when a woman passes by you and brushes her boobs up against you, it’s really not what you hope it is. “As a waitress, I’ve accidentally clocked a guy in the head with my breasts when I was bending down to put his plate down,” says Meghan, 27.

Hairdressers and masseuses do it all the time as well. “I never do it on purpose, but it does happen and sometimes the guy will then start to get flirty with me because he’s thinking I did it for him. But, I did it once on purpose to a guy in a bar to get his attention, so I can see how guys would get confused,” says Lisa, 17.

What To Do: It can be confusing. That’s why you need another sign combined with the tit-ilating contact to truly take it as a green light to flirt. “Try striking up a conversation, smile and flirt and if she does the same back then that’s a better sign that she’s interested,” says Julie Spira, founder of

My advice is to break the ice with this: “Well, your boobs and my arm have met; maybe I should introduce myself. Hi, I’m Carl.” “If you aren’t sure, it’s probably best to not respond right away; you don’t want to come off creepy,” says relationship coach Marni Battista, founder of

(For more on the boob brush, check out my Men’s Health article: Are Her Boobs Trying to Tell You Something?)

The Big Stretch

Her Story: If a woman takes an exaggerated yawn and puts her arms over her head for a big stretch, which naturally makes her breasts stick out in your direction, it certainly can mean she’s peacocking for you. I know because I’ve done this even wrote about it in my chapter on flirting in Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon & Schuster).

But, naturally, it can also mean, she’s just yawning and not aware that she’s sticking her boobs out in the process.

What To Do: Pay attention to the other non-verbal moves she makes. “Sometimes a stretch is just a stretch. Don’t assume she likes you… unless she looks you in the eyes or smiles. If she does that, say something flirty like, ‘Looks like you could use a coffee’ or

Is it yoga time?'” says Spira.

The Plunging Neckline

Her Story: Sometimes showing a lot of cleavage and wearing a highly provocative outfit means she is hoping her date will advance to the next level. “If I have a hot date and want to get laid, of course, I’m going to wear something sexy, show a lot of cleavage,” says Chrissy, 35. Other times, as with Joanna, 39, it’s simply about fashion. “I just like V-necks. That’s it. Period. I’m not trying to fuck you every time I show cleavage,” she says.

What To Do: This one is tricky. “Women know that men undress them with their eyes, so it could mean a hook-up is on her mind,” says Spira. Or, it means she’s just confident. “She’s not always screaming for attention. It can just be confidence in herself and her sexuality,” says sex therapist Chris Donaghue, Ph.D. Cleavage aside, another non-verbal cue to look for is to see if her body is turned toward you and leaning in as you talk, says Dr. Donaghue.

The Boob Job Reference

Her Story: Many assume that when a woman invests in $10,000 boob job that she’s looking for compliments. And, that can be true. “Yes, I want compliments! Absolutely,” laughs Michelle, 32, who got her breasts augmented to a size 34DD. Some women even bring up the fact that they got a boob job. So, is that an invitation to say, “nice tits?” Not quite.

What To Do: If a woman actually acknowledges her breast augmentation on her own, a polite compliment might be expected. “A guy on a first date said to me, ‘You have such a classic figure.” I liked that. If he said, ‘Nice tits!” it would’ve been a turn-off,” says Michelle.

But, keep in mind, many women who get boob jobs, get it for them. “Although it’s attractive to you too, women don’t always need your validation. Getting a boob job is fairly common and shouldn’t make you think that a woman is promiscuous or needing attention or that it’s okay to make a comment about them,” says Battista.