Who? What? Where? When? Why?: How to Talk to a Sex Worker

Everyone has varying levels of social skills. While one may be a natural born charmer another may be at a loss for words, trying to remember to breathe in a sex worker’s or even just another person’s presence. Remember one thing first, sex workers are humans! Yes, we have emotions and feelings and that is what you want too – to build a connection with whomever it is (whatever type of connection that may be). Regardless of the fame or status, we are all individuals who work in the adult industry.

Who talks to sex workers?

Everyone! Literally everyone and anyone can speak with a sex worker. From CEOs and celebrities to Uber drivers, everyone is looking for a connection. Humans love to chat, about literally anything. The range of individuals of those who speak to individuals is drastic too! Perhaps you just turned 18 and have all of these hormones that you have no idea where to direct or you just turned 80 and looking to feel young again. Sex workers are everywhere in the world and with the internet nowadays can be reached from anywhere in the world. It doesn’t matter who you are, there is a sex worker out there who is best suited for what you are looking for. Just remember, do the research find the correct sex worker for you – don’t push our boundaries and try to mold us to become the sex worker for you.

What to talk about with a sex worker?

Anything! Sure you can ask us questions about sex and whatever comes along with it, but making a connection involves a whole lot more than just one thing in common. Find out what our favorite things are – see if you can bond over something more. Ask to see if we are a foodie? Music/al lover? Nature enthusiast? Hot spring ho? Book worm? League of Legends gamer? Pokémon trainer? Sounds boring to you? Think about how we can now turn whatever your favorite thing is into something sexy and use it against you (ahem to elevate the experience). The more information you share, the more creative we can get and the more the connection grows.

Not everything has to be super sexual and intense all the time either. Sex workers appreciate it when you check in with a casual hello or a peep to ask how our day is going. It shows us that you care about us as a whole and not just as someone who gets you off with a “session” every time. Just be sure when you do pop in, it’s with a gift or tribute to really make our day. If it is a session – respond! Sure, you may be typing with one hand, but it takes two to build a story together. Include your fantasies, thoughts, ideas to make it amazing! Otherwise, we will be the one carrying the whole thing and it is extra exhausting. You want to be seduced? Well, we do too! Why are we the ones that are constantly having to turn everything on?

What to start with?

Do not just say hi. That is the lowest effort you could possible give. Especially when the h in the ‘hi’ isn’t even capitalized. You may think that you have completed the first hurdle and that the ball is in our court, but no. This is your first impression, make it a good one. Do your research about who you want to talk to and offer us something we would find interesting. What we do not find interesting is what you want. People seem to think that sex workers are machines/bots here to please an individual because they have a burning desire in between their legs. Nope, sex workers are so much more than that. That thing in between your legs can’t even last that long so start using something else that would be pleasurable for us too. Do not be selfish, open with something that we like or on some neutral ground. When you notice us, we notice you in return. If you’ve outshined the rest of the people that have messaged than you will have captured our attention.

Do I have to pay?

Yes, yes, yes. Sex workers are sex WORKERS. This is how we make a living. So if you wish to take up our time, pay for it. If you are a fan, just in awe of us – tell us, with a tip. Complimenting one’s work is great to hear, but empty compliments do not pay our bills. The tribute does not have to be bank breaking either. Something that genuinely shows your adoration is appreciated. With so many people trying to get our attention, we prioritize those who pay us the most. It’s a business. Can’t afford our rates? Then swallow your pride and save up so you can. Never negotiate, that’s the quickest way to turn off a sex worker. Or you can find another sex worker who is within your budget.

Why am I paying just to chat?

Chatting with people expends emotional energy. Creating a connection and bond with someone requires a lot of it. Whilst you cannot see the materialistic form of energy, realize that it is being used. Did you use up all of our mana so that we need potions to refill? Pay for those potions with those coins. The time you are chatting with a sex worker, you are taking time away from other things that we could be doing for our business. Things as, editing content, filming, recording, photoshoots, etc. All those things that you enjoy for a low price takes time for us to create. Whilst you consume that up like a starving beast at a buffet, it is time to pay not just for the food you consumed but the time it took for you to chat with the chef who curated this experience for you.

What can I share with a sex worker?

Whilst you have established a connection and are now comfortable enough to share many things with a sex worker, realize that sex workers are not your therapist. We may guide you through life choices and do provide an ear for when you need it but we are not there to work through all of your childhood gunk. Some sex workers may be licensed professionals that can help you through whatever you are going through, but not all are best suited for emotional repair. Whilst we do not want you to tip toe around the things you can discuss, just be cognizant of how we are feeling in the moment.

Where to talk to a sex worker?

Be mindful of where you are talking to a sex worker. Are you on a platform online? Be in the know of the terms of service. What is allowed to be spoken about on that platform and what isn’t, not all kinks and fetishes are allowed on these platforms. Nothing is more annoying than someone discussing things that goes directly against it. Speaking about other platforms whilst on that platform goes against the Terms of Service. It’s business 101, of course that platform wants to keep you on there, so they’ll ding you if you bring up anything about competitors. If you didn’t know, now you’ve put a sex worker’s stream of income at risk. Do NOT be that person. Think of it like Fight Club – know the rules so that you can play within those rules. Sex workers are inundated with messages all day long and you do not want to annoy us with being another person that we put into line.

Are you in public? Be mindful of your surroundings. Let us take the lead as to what we are comfortable with sharing in those spaces. Some prefer to be discreet and others like to boast. If you want a sex worker to respect your privacy and level of discretion, do the same for us.

When to talk to a sex worker?

Communication is key to any relationship. Keeping that line of communication open is necessary to keep the connection going. But realize, we are humans – we eat and sleep. Do you know what time zone of whom you’re talking with is in? Just like with any business, know our hours of operations. Would you want to work first thing in the morning right when you wake up? Or how about working until you fall asleep at night with no time to yourself to live a life of your own. If we haven’t responded to you, give us time. We may be busy. Or try tributing, sending us money so that it bumps your message to the top. Sex workers don’t have weekends or vacation days. We have to create them for ourselves. So whatever may be convenient for you, check in and see if it is beneficial and convenient for us too.

Why would I talk to a sex worker?

Do you find yourself unable to chat with anyone else about certain things in life (fetishes, transformations, sex, etc.)? Are you curious about building social skills to take with you into your everyday life so that you may foster a healthy relationship? Are you looking for a professional to make your fantasy come true without any integration into your personal world? Do you have questions about sex that are too embarrassing to ask anyone else? Do you have a fantasy you’d love to act out? The reasons could be anything or ones that you do not even know yet. If you’ve been curious for so long, why not just give it a try and find out for yourself. Be sure to do your research to find an actual sex worker to chat with. There are catfishes and scammers out there. Be open minded and who knows, a sex worker could change your life.

How to talk to a sex worker?

Sign up for a platform that sex workers use, tip and chat away on there, or we’re just a phone call away. Looking for in person? Do your research and apply through our website (there will be plenty of protocol for you to follow to ensure everyone’s safety and fun – read them all). Be generous and kind. Put your best foot forward and we will do the same. As with any connection, be true and authentic, there’s no point in lying to someone whom you’re paying. The lie only harms yourself in the end. The more you open up, the more you send, the more effort you put into spreading happiness into someone else’s life – the more it’ll come back at you, even exponentially! We are all humans searching for a connection in this world, just be kind. And do not waste our time.

Want to speak with the sex worker who wrote this post? You can do your research and find out more about Mae Ling on her website here. Also follow her Twitter and Instagram for a whole picture of who this professional dominatrix is.


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