HomeFeatured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults
Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults
Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.
Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.
Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.
Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.
Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.
Grief is not a linear journey, and its impact ripples through every part of life — including sexuality and intimacy. For many who have experienced the loss of a partner, spouse, or someone deeply loved, the idea of sex after grief can feel complicated, confusing, or even impossible. There may be moments of longing, guilt, numbness, or even surprise desire. All of it is normal. All of it is human.
This article is an honest exploration of what sex after grief can look like. It’s not about rushing healing or following a prescribed timeline. Instead, it’s about offering gentle guidance, compassion, and permission to explore pleasure and connection again — in your own time, in your own way.
In many cultures, grief is treated with reverence but also with silence — especially when it comes to sexuality. The notion that someone who is grieving may desire physical touch, intimacy, or even sex can be met with judgment or misunderstanding. This stigma creates shame and suppresses conversation, leaving those in mourning feeling alone in their complex emotions.
But sex and grief aren’t mutually exclusive. They can coexist in complicated, powerful, and even healing ways.
Desire Doesn’t Die with Your Loved One
One of the most confusing aspects of grieving is the reemergence of sexual desire. For some, it returns quickly. For others, it may be months or years. In either case, the emotions tied to desire can be overwhelming.
You may feel guilt: “How can I want sex when they’re gone?” Or anger: “I miss them so much, and now I’m stuck with this aching need.” Or confusion: “Why do I want this now? Shouldn’t I be past this?”
The truth is, desire is part of being alive. It doesn’t mean you’re “over” your loss or betraying your loved one. It means your body and spirit are still seeking connection — and that is deeply human.
Just as some people feel a return of desire, others experience the opposite — a complete shutdown. You may feel detached from your body, uninterested in touch, or even repulsed by the idea of intimacy. This is a valid response to trauma and emotional pain.
Your body is protecting you. And that’s okay.
Give yourself grace. You don’t have to “fix” anything. You are not broken. Whether it lasts weeks or years, you are still worthy of love and comfort, in whatever form feels safe.
Pleasure as a Healing Tool
Pleasure can be an anchor in the storm of grief. Not as a replacement for your loved one, but as a gentle reintroduction to your own aliveness.
Solo exploration — through touch, breath work, erotic reading, or sensual self-care — can be a non-threatening way to reconnect with your body. For some, masturbation becomes a form of grief expression, a release of emotion, or a small act of reclaiming joy.
There is no need to rush into partnered sex. But if and when you’re ready, it’s okay to communicate that you’re grieving — even if you’re also curious, aroused, or ready to be held. Openness, even in vulnerability, creates safety.
Navigating New Relationships
Starting a new sexual or romantic relationship after loss can feel like crossing into unfamiliar territory. The fear of forgetting your late partner, the worry of comparison, the emotional floodgates — it’s a lot. And it’s real.
Be honest with yourself and with others. You’re not starting from scratch; you’re moving forward with a heart full of memories. A new connection doesn’t erase the past — it adds to the mosaic of your lived experience.
If you’re dating again, give yourself full permission to go slow. Let conversations about boundaries, intimacy, and emotions unfold naturally. Choose partners who can hold space for your truth.
If sexual grief feels overwhelming, intrusive, or paralyzing, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it alone. Therapists, especially those trained in grief, trauma, and sexology, can offer insight and support.
Joining grief support groups (some specifically for widows/widowers) can normalize your experience. Speaking your truth aloud helps to reduce shame and expand your capacity for healing.
Permission to Feel Everything
You are allowed to grieve and still want. You are allowed to cry during sex. You are allowed to feel nothing, and then suddenly, everything. You are allowed to laugh, to touch, to hold, to moan, to explore. You are allowed to live — even with loss woven into the fabric of your being.
Grief doesn’t end. But it evolves. And so can your relationship with your body and your pleasure.
Final Thoughts
Sex after grief isn’t about “moving on.” It’s about moving with — with your memories, with your emotions, with your tenderness.
Whether your path includes solo pleasure, new partners, or simply the courage to feel again, know this: you deserve intimacy. You deserve touch. You deserve joy.
When you’re ready, it’s there. Waiting with open arms.
Photo taken from: https://www.biird.co/products/ohwii
Product Review: Ohwii™ by Wicul
A Stunning Double-Ended Glass Delight by Biird™, a female-led pleasure positive brand born in the Netherlands.
When I first saw this package, I thought it was a basic glass wand. I was in total shock when I opened the box. The product is the Ohwii™ double ended glass wand. It is a collaboration between pleasure innovators and glass artistry that turns every solo or partnered session into a luxurious experience.
This double-ended glass dildo is as stunning as it is satisfying and the case it comes with is just as beautiful as the piece itself. There are two distinct shapes tailored to meet your personalized pleasure needs. One end is sculpted with a thicker curve that hugs the G-spot with precision, while the slimmer end is ideal for P-spot exploration—or vice versa! That’s the beauty of Ohwii:youdecide what feels right.
Photo taken from: https://www.biird.co/products/ohwii
Crafted from premium borosilicate glass, Ohwii™ is not only gorgeous to look at but also a dream to use. The surface is silky-smooth, glides effortlessly with just a drop of lube, and adjusts naturally to your body’s temperature—or can be heated or cooled for temperature play.
Whether you’re exploring deeper sensations or teasing erogenous zones, the weight and firmness of the glass add an extra layer of intensity you just can’t get from silicone.
For anyone curious about glass toys, this is the perfect introduction. It’s elegant, versatile, and easy to clean—just rinse with warm water and a gentle cleanser. Plus, it’s body-safe and built to last.
Who is Wicul?
Behind Wicul is Edwige!, a psychiatric nurse and sex therapist who runs one of the most recognized sex education accounts in France. Fun, non-judgmental, and caring, she’s on a mission to revolutionize sex education!
Biird™ is a female-led pleasure positive brand from the Netherlands. Their mission is to dispel the taboo surrounding sex toys and other products designed specifically to make you feel good. They are the 2022 winner of the European Product Design Award.
Photo taken from:https://www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/biird-elements-review.html?
They were a big surprise to the industry and after working with industry-leading pleasure brands for more than 20 years, they’ve come to know the restrictions and barriers placed on sex toys all too well. They crafted beautiful sex toys, made with only the highest quality body-safe materials and have made them affordable and available for everyone to enjoy.
Conclusion: Ohwii™ is a sculptural pleasure piece that invites exploration and self-discovery. If you’re seeking a toy that’s as functional as it is beautiful, this double-ended delight deserves a top spot in your collection. Whether you’re new to glass or a longtime fan, Ohwii™ is ready to elevate your play.
I give them two thumbs up and a fist bump for their packaging, innovation, and powerful clit stimulator. This is a must have in your toy box.
In recent years, home pleasure parties have gained popularity as a fun and intimate way to explore and discuss sexuality, relationships, and self-care. These gatherings are more than just an opportunity to shop for adult products; they provide a comfortable and educational environment for open conversations about sexual wellness.We will look into the world of home pleasure parties, exploring why they are worth hosting and attending.
One of the primary reasons people choose to host and attend home pleasure parties is the safe and comfortable environment they provide.When it comes to discussing and exploring one’s sexuality, privacy and trust are paramount.
Home pleasure parties are typically hosted in a private residence among friends or acquaintances, creating a non-judgmental atmosphere where participants can openly discuss their desires, ask questions, and learn about products in a relaxed setting.This safe space can be particularly valuable for those who may feel uncomfortable in traditional adult stores or discussing sexual topics in public.
Home pleasure parties offer more than just the opportunity to purchase adult products; they are also educational events.Knowledge is power, and understanding one’s own body and the products available can be empowering.
Trained consultants often lead these parties, providing information about sexual health, anatomy, and various products. This education empowers individuals and couples to make informed choices about what works best for them and can enhance their sexual experiences.
Strengthening Relationships:
Exploring one’s sexuality and preferences can be a great way to strengthen relationships. Home pleasure parties provide a unique platform for couples to discuss their desires, fantasies, and boundaries in a supportive setting.
This open dialogue can lead to a deeper understanding between partners, improved communication, and the discovery of new ways to connect intimately. Couples often find that home pleasure parties not only reignite the spark in their relationships but also lead to increased trust and intimacy.
Discovering New Products:
One of the central elements of home pleasure parties is the opportunity to browse and purchase a variety of adult products. These products range from intimate toys to lubricants, massage oils, lingerie, and more.
At a home pleasure party, participants can see, touch, and ask questions about the products, allowing them to make informed choices based on their preferences and desires. The experience of physically handling these items and learning about their features can be much more informative than simply reading online reviews.
Privacy and discretion are often essential when it comes to adult products. Home pleasure parties provide a discreet and confidential way to explore and purchase these items.Unlike walking into a store, where you might encounter acquaintances or feel self-conscious, home parties allow for a low-key shopping experience. This discretion is particularly valuable for individuals who prefer to keep their intimate matters private.
Building a Supportive Community:
Home pleasure parties have the added benefit of fostering a sense of community. Participants often find that they can connect with others who share similar interests and concerns.These gatherings create a space where people can share experiences, offer support, and learn from one another. The sense of belonging and understanding can be especially valuable for those who have felt isolated or uncomfortable discussing their sexual needs and desires.
Celebrating Self-Care:
Self-care is a vital aspect of overall well-being, and that includes sexual well-being.Home pleasure parties encourage participants to celebrate self-care by exploring their desires and making choices that enhance their sexual experiences.This focus on self-care aligns with a broader movement emphasizing the importance of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-discovery.
In conclusion, home pleasure parties offer a unique and valuable opportunity to explore sexuality, relationships, and self-care in a safe, comfortable, and educational setting.They provide a forum for open discussions, empower individuals and couples, and offer a discreet way to discover and purchase adult products.
For those who are looking to strengthen their relationships, connect with a supportive community, and celebrate self-care, home pleasure parties are an excellent choice.Whether you’re considering hosting one or attending as a guest, these gatherings can be both enjoyable and enlightening.
What you need to know but are afraid to ask about sex toys, pleasure products, sexual wellness devices, adult toys or whatever you prefer to call them. The name is different, depending on who you are talking to. There has been an increase in popularity over the years. However, they continue to be a topic shrouded in misconceptions and unspoken questions. In this article, we will delve into the world of pleasure products, addressing the things you’ve always wanted to know but may have been too afraid to ask.
What Are Pleasure Products?
Pleasure products are a broad category of items designed to enhance sexual pleasure, exploration, and intimacy. These products come in various forms, from vibrators, dildos, and anal toys to lubricants, massage oils, and bondage gear. They cater to a wide range of preferences and desires, both for solo use and shared experiences.
For those who might feel hesitant about purchasing pleasure products in person, the industry offers discreet packaging and online shopping options. Products are shipped in plain, unmarked boxes or envelopes, ensuring that your privacy is respected. Online retailers often provide detailed descriptions and customer reviews, making it easier to choose the right product for your needs.
Diverse Market and Inclusivity
The market for pleasure products is incredibly diverse and inclusive. Manufacturers have embraced the importance of catering to various gender identities, sexual orientations, and body types. Additionally, there are products designed for individuals with disabilities to ensure that everyone can enjoy the benefits of these items.
Enhancing Relationships
Pleasure products can play a positive role in enhancing relationships. They offer an opportunity for couples to explore new sensations and experiences, improving communication and intimacy. Open and honest discussions about desires and boundaries are key to incorporating these products into a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship.
These products aren’t limited to partnered activities. They can be a valuable part of self-exploration and self-care. Using pleasure products can help individuals better understand their bodies and what brings them pleasure. This knowledge can lead to improved self-esteem, self-confidence, and a more satisfying sexual relationship with oneself.
Body-Safe Materials
Pleasure products have evolved to prioritize body safety. Reputable manufacturers use materials that are body-safe and free from harmful chemicals. Silicone, medical-grade plastic, and glass are among the materials commonly used to ensure user safety.
Supportive Communities
The pleasure product industry often fosters supportive communities, both online and offline. Forums, blogs, and social media groups provide a space for individuals to share experiences, ask questions, and receive advice from others with similar interests. These communities can be particularly valuable for those looking for guidance and a sense of belonging.
Ethical Production
Sustainability and ethical production have become increasingly important in the industry. Some manufacturers prioritize ethical labor practices, ensuring the well-being of the workers involved in producing these products. There is also a growing focus on environmental responsibility, with the development of eco-friendly materials and manufacturing processes.
Sexual Education and Advocacy
The industry has a strong commitment to sexual education and advocacy. Manufacturers and retailers provide resources to educate users about safe and consensual sexual practices. They actively promote sexual health and wellness, reinforcing the importance of informed choices and communication in sexual experiences.
No Need to Be Ashamed
Perhaps the most significant message to take away is that there is no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about exploring pleasure products. These items are tools for enhancing sexual pleasure and intimacy, and they can contribute positively to your overall well-being.
Everyone’s sexual journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Embrace your desires, communicate openly, and make choices that enhance your own sexual experiences.
In conclusion, pleasure products are a diverse and inclusive category of items designed to enhance sexual pleasure and intimacy.They can be used individually or with a partner, and their evolution towards body-safe materials, ethical production, and inclusivity is encouraging.The key to unlocking the world of pleasure products is open communication, responsible use, and the understanding that there is no shame in exploring your desires and enhancing your sexual well-being.
Sex education equips a person with the knowledge about human development, relationships, and sexual health, helping them make informed decisions and develop healthy relationships. Here are ten facts about sex educators:
Diverse Backgrounds: Sex educators come from a wide range of backgrounds, including public health, psychology, social work, and education. They often have specialized training in human sexuality.
Comprehensive Sex Education is Beneficial: Many sex educators hold advanced degrees in fields like sexual health education, marriage and family therapy, or public health, and they continually update their knowledge to stay informed about changing sexual health issues.
Varied Settings: Sex educators work in various settings, such as schools, colleges and universities, sexual health clinics, community organizations, and even online platforms.
Age-Appropriate Education: They tailor their education to different age groups, providing age-appropriate information to young teens and adults.
Inclusivity: Sex educators are often dedicated to promoting inclusivity, recognizing and respecting diverse sexual orientations, gender identities, and cultural backgrounds.
Public Speaking: Many sex educators are skilled public speakers, as they often conduct workshops, lectures, and presentations to disseminate sexual health information.
Non-Judgmental Approach: A fundamental aspect of sex education is providing information in a non-judgmental and inclusive manner to create safe spaces for open discussions.
Sexual Health Advocacy: Sex educators often engage in advocacy work, supporting sexual health rights, comprehensive sex education in schools, and access to sexual health resources.
Staying Updated: They continually update their knowledge to keep up with the latest research and developments in the field of sexual health.
Online Presence: In the digital age, many sex educators maintain a strong online presence through blogs, podcasts, social media, and webinars to reach a broader audience and provide accessible information.
Sex educators play a crucial role in promoting sexual health, positive relationships, and informed decision-making by providing evidence-based information, dispelling myths, and fostering open and healthy discussions about sexuality.
It is important to remember that you need good rest, preferably good sleep, in order to have good sex. Without good sleep you end up not having good sex or maybe no sex at all. Time plays a role in our sex life. While sex might not be every day, time is.
We all have 24 hours in the day to do a number of things such as work, sleep, and eat. Anything else is a bonus. Sex sometimes falls into this category. In this article we will be looking at three areas in how time affects us and our sex lives.
Effects of the time change during Equinox seasons.
Time Change in the Spring – Spring forward
Time Change in the Autumn – Fall backward
Across the world, many have to deal with this. It can take a few days to adjust, especially if you are a creature of habit. Forcing yourself to do everything earlier or later can be challenging at best. Sometimes our sex life does not always cooperate the way we wish it to.
Effects of traveling up and down and across the time zone.
Business – Approximately 51% of the world’s population commute. People commute by private car or public transportation: bus, train, or plane.
Pleasure – Approximately 79% of the world population have taken trips.
Have you ever said when you get home from work or a trip that you need a vacation? One can understand coming home after a long day’s work and saying such a thing, but many say it after a vacation. Why is that? Could it be that the trip was fun filled and one is just exhausted from that?
Possibly, but in truth, the act of traveling, whether for business or pleasure, can take a toll on us. When traveling through multiple time zones it can lead to exhaustion, known as ‘jet lag’. This is because our bodies have a natural sleep-wake cycle called circadian rhythm. It can take us some time to get our libido back up to where we want to have sex.
Effects of daily work schedules.
Standard Schedule – 9 am to 5 pm
Fixed Schedule – Set Everyday
Full-Time Schedule – 8 Hour Day
Part-Time Schedule – Work less hours then 8 hours a day.
Shift Schedule – Includes: Morning Shift 7 am to 3 pm, Afternoon Shift 3 pm to 11pm, Night Shift 11 pm to 7 pm
Split Shift – One works two separate partial shifts on the same day
Trying to keep up with time during work is a tough feat. Add schedule changes to the mix and you have introduced another time element that can and does affect your down time. We all recognize the time it takes us to get to work and the time needed to destress when work is done. With any disruption of our schedules, we may have to adjust to make time for sex.
What do all three of these time elements have in common?
Symptoms that include fatigue, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, daytime drowsiness, irritability, and low libido. It should be noted that either partner can have issues with not wanting to have sex due to being exhausted and/or stressed.
What can you do to help yourself in getting great sleep which can lead to you having better sex?
Acclimate to the new time, gradually adjust your sleep schedule in the days leading up to travel, expose yourself to light at the appropriate times for your destination, and try to eat and sleep according to the new schedule as soon as possible.
Start shifting your bedtime and wake-up time by 15-30 minutes earlier or later each day
If traveling east, expose yourself to morning light, and if you are traveling west, expose yourself to evening light. The same can be said about a new work schedule and falling back or springing forward, adjust yourself to the light.
Drink plenty of water along with not eating large and heavy meals. Avoid alcohol and excessive caffeine especially before you sleep. This can help your body adjust to the new time zone.
Get some exercise during the day.
Do meditation or deep breathing for relaxation to help you wind down.
If you are still having trouble sleeping, consider taking melatonin. It is a hormone that regulates sleep. Always talk to your doctor first before trying.
While there is no best time of day to have sex, the research suggests that morning between 7 am and 9 am is often a prime time for sex because of the higher testosterone and estrogen levels and the increased energy and hormones like dopamine and oxytocin that are in our systems after a good night’s sleep. No matter what time you end up having sex, just know there is hope. Your body should work itself back in a few days to your old self. As always, have fun and keep it consensual.
Human Papillomavirus is commonly referred to as HPV. It is a vast group of viruses potentially leading to warts, genital warts and, in worst cases, cancer.
HPVs are the large group of easily transmitted viruses that potentially can cause cancer. However, the infection can also enter someone’s body through any natural fluids or even minor skin cuts. HPV is one of the most spread sexually transmitted diseases, with 40 of these types of viruses being able to be spread via sexual contact.
Most HPV types do not result in any harmful effect on the human body, and goes away in several months, so could remain unnoticed. Sexually active people are more likely to obtain the infection, and more than a half of all people acquire it over the course of their life if not vaccinated. It is estimated that there were 43 million HPV infections in 2018. This included 13 million new infections.
How to Find Out if You Have it
Health care providers can diagnose genital warts caused by HPV by giving you an exam and looking at the infected area. There is no approved HPV test to find HPV in the mouth or throat. HPV tests are not recommended to screen men, adolescents, or women under the age of 30 years. The problem is most people do not they are infected and never develop symptoms from it. Genital warts are a sign that you may have HPV. However, there are HPV tests that can be used to screen for cervical cancer, as well as pap tests for women. An abnormal Pap test may reflect the presence of HPV.
How do You Get HPV?
HPV is a sexually transmitted disease as it is normally transmitted during sexual contact. It can be contracted by performing sexual acts such as oral, vaginal, anal sex and other skin-to-skin contacts.
HPV Prevention
So, how can you avoid HPV and the issues it can cause?
The good news is, there is a vaccine that can prevent you from many forms of the HPV virus. The CDC recommends vaccination of all individuals at age 11 or 12 and everyone through age 26. People older than 26 years should not get vaccinated. Because most sexually active adults have already been exposed to HPV, it is not necessarily all the HPV types targeted by vaccination. At any age, new sex partners put you at risk for getting a new HPV infection.
Studies show that if you are in a mutually monogamous relationship, you are less likely to get a new infection. There are also simple guidelines that can help you stay clear of the disease, such as using condoms and dental dams, and avoiding skin-on-skin contact during sex. Know that HPV can infect areas not covered by the condom. Thus, they are not 100% effective in preventing HPV. Of course, you can be in a mutually monogamous relationship where your mate is only having sexual contact with you.
Ways to Treat HPV
There is no direct medicine to cure HPV. However, if you have contracted the virus, there are several ways, including surgical, to get rid of the symptoms, such as warts. Serious cases, including cancer, need to have a complex medical approach.
HPV A, E and D typically go away on their own and do not require special treatment. It is difficult to determine the average period of time required for the virus to go away from the body as it is usually unclear when it has been contracted. However, it can take as much as several years for the virus’ symptoms to go away after the moment they have been detected.
HPV and Cancer
Through many studies we know that HPV can cause cervical cancer. Cancer often takes years to develop after a person get the infection. The types of HPV that can cause genital warts are not the same as the types that can cause other cancers. Cancer of the vulva, vagina, penis, or anus, the back of the throat, including the base of the tongue and tonsils can develop after exposure.
High-risk HPV can cause various cancers including:
Cervical cancer
Anal cancer
Some types of oral and throat cancer
Vulvar cancer
Vaginal cancer
Penile cancer
Cervical Cancer
Cervical cancer is caused by HPV. The virus spreads through sexual contact. To avoid cervical cancer it is important to get a pap test on a regular basis (yearly) after you become sexually active. It usually takes several years for normal cells in the cervix to turn into cancer cells, so regular screenings can catch the abnormal cells before they before cancerous. Be sure to follow your routine for screening, it can help you prevent cervical cancer.
If your pap text comes back as abnormal cells (dysplasia), you may need to follow up with other tests, such as a biopsy. Treatments may include LEEP, radiation therapy, surgery, chemotherapy.
“Loop electrosurgical excision procedure (LEEP) uses a wire loop heated by electric current to remove cells and tissue in a woman’s lower genital tract. It is used as part of the diagnosis and treatment for abnormal or cancerous conditions.”
About 14,480 new cases of invasive cervical cancer will be diagnosed.
About 4,290 women will die from cervical cancer.
Early prevention via pap tests is KEY to early diagnosis, prevention and treatment of cervical cancer!
Conclusion
The sad news is HPV is here to stay. Because there is no cure, you must take precautions to avoid infection. Healthcare professionals will say that the only way to avoid such an STD is to abstain from sex. However, we know that this is not realistic. Be sure that you are having the status conversation with your mates. Find out as much as you can about their sexual history. This will allow you to make an informed decision before you proceed.
And, make sure to get checked for regular yearly screening and pap tests to avoid getting cervical cancer and other sexual infections.
The 6 Tantra Secrets to Bliss-gasms & Ecstatic Sex
Tantra goes all the way back to the ancient language of Sanskrit which is originally from India and offers sensual and enlightening terminology. Tantra is an ancient yoga-like tradition originating in India that trains one in the ways of weaving and transforming sexual energy into altered states and awakening to enlightenment, thus carrying sexuality to unfathomable heights and depths.
The beginnings of Tantra goes back as far as 1500 BC; its writings concentrated on philosophical issues and ritualistic teachings such as the well known Kama Sutra, a sexual manual from the 14th century. The term “sanskrit” is derived from “samskrta” which means “adorned, cultivated, perfected”. Sanskrit has been maintained as the literary language of the priestly, learned and cultivated castes of India.
The 6 Tantra Secrets or Elements
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
There are 6 Tantra Secrets or elements of Tantra that are used to create an orgasmic dance. These include: Breath, Intention, Attention, Sound, Movement and Muscle Locks.
“Achieving Tantric Bliss (gasms) through the six elements of Tantra will take your relationship to a whole new physical, emotional, and spiritual level.”
Here’s an opportunity for you to enjoy the quest for enlightenment together and become one with the Universe through mutual orgasms!
1. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Breath
There are 6 elements (or Tantra secrets) in Tantra, beginning with the power of breath.
Breath regulates and relaxes the body so that it can heal. Breath can lower blood pressure. Breathing into the area of dysfunction can increase blood circulation. Breath elevates the immune and refreshes the lymphatic system. Breath is the essence of life and there is no better way to energize the body than to increase your intake of oxygen.
Our lungs can hold 6 pints of oxygen, but most people only inhale 2 pints or less. In Tantra the word Prana means energy. Breathing is about energizing your mind, body and soul. Breathing in through the mouth produces an energy charge and breathing out of the mouth releases emotions. When a person cries, they have to breathe through their mouth.
When you are sexually excited your breathing increases so if you want to delay your climax, you must slow down your normal breathing pattern. Breathing in unison with your partner can create a deeper form of unity. Synchronized breathing with your lover gives you the opportunity to connect on a conscious level, a respiratory level and breath to breath level resulting in a harmonious bonding experience.
In the following interactive breath exercises, you will learn how to control your breath and how to synchronize it with your lover so that you can make lovemaking last longer. You will find that you can connect on a deeper level of consciousness and experience harmonious bonding through breath. Breathing together is an essential element to experiencing Tantric bliss.
Tantra Breath Exercises
Breath can add variety to your lovemaking by blowing your cool breath (with pursed lips) up and down your lover’s spine, on the inside of the thighs, along the crack in the buttocks, on wet testicles and on the vulva lips.
Alternatively, warm breath (with mouth open) can be deliciously arousing. For Hot Breath, choose one of your lover’s Chakras and blow your hot breath through your open mouth for 2 minutes as you caress your lover.
For Synchronized Breathing, face each other and hold hands. Breathe in and out through your mouth at the same time for 2 minutes.
To practice Kissing Breath, hold each other, close your eyes, and share the same breath through deep kissing for 2 minutes.
2. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Intention
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels
Where intention goes, energy flows. And without intention there can be no follow through. Intention is about enjoying the journey as much as the destination, to relax the mind and body reducing your stress hormones in the process.
Verbalize: Verbalize your intention for yourself to your partner. Let him/her know what your short term and long term intentions are for your pleasure and the relationship itself. Then put your hand on their heart chakra and tell them how you propose to have a deeper heart connection with them. As you do this, maintain eye contact.
Write it Down: You can also write down your intentions and give them to your partner so they can remind you of your intentions when you are not keeping them. Share your relationship mission statement with your partner and include where you want to see your relationship in the next 12 months.
Exchange Wishes: Make a wish list of 3 things that will heighten your relationship and exchange the list. Take action steps to make at least one of your partner’s wishes come true each week!
Share 3 strengths in your relationship. Then tell your lover 1 weakness and how you intend to turn it into strength.
3. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Attention
Attention is the follow through to Intention. Attention is being 100% present for your partner.
Finish this sentence, “I want you to pay more attention to my…” Then show your lover how you want them to pay more attention to that part of your body.
Eye Gazing Technique
The eyes are the mirrors of your soul. Look into your partner’s soul for a deeper heart connection. Create emotional support so you can create trust, soothe nerves and enhance relaxation. Where the attention goes, energy flows.
Decide who will be the receiver and who will be the giver. The giver asks permission to look into his/her eyes by saying, “May I come in?” The receiver replies, “Yes” and allows the giver to look deeply into his/her soul. The receiver must open up the door and allow his/her partner to look inside and see the real you. Then the receiver becomes the giver. Discuss what you saw and how it felt when looking into each other’s soul.
4. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Sound
Sound is like an inner massage; cells in your body respond to vibrations and release energy. Sound vibration heals the body, mind, and spirit.
Music and words have power to decrease pain. Laughter helps blood vessels expand in order to increase blood flow.
You can breakthrough inhibitions by releasing sounds and words. Sound releases energy and during lovemaking sounds release sexual energy and allows the orgasmic energy to flow through you for a full body orgasm. If you hold back the sounds you feel inside, it will manifest in resentment, anger and eventually pain. So for your own good health (and orgasms!), give yourself permission to express yourself through words and sounds and sigh, cry, shout or laugh when you need to, especially during sex!
When it comes to making love, sounds let your partner know that you are having a great time. Encourage your lover through words of praise, exhale sounds of ecstasy when you feel them and let the sounds of sex express your lovemaking.
Entraining Exercise
Entraining is when two people make the same sounds at the same time. For example, start by humming with your partner and emulate each other, then make up your own melody and let your partner follow. Feel how much of your body resonates. The deeper the humming, the more vibration your body will feel.
5. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Movement
Lack of movement can leave your body feeling tight and stiff. It also restricts energy flow and can block your emotions. Even when you visualize part of your body moving, you are creating physiological sensations. How amazing is that?
Take turns receiving loving caresses and kisses from your active partner. When you are really truly giving you are also receiving the feeling.
To experience the full enjoyment of Tantric lovemaking, the male (Yang) and female (Yin) forces must be balanced in harmony. Yin and yang corresponds to the divine feminine and masculine spiritual life force energies in everyone, not male or female gender specifically.
For example, deep kissing and tender kissing is a perfect combination of yin and yang. Let’s face it, if you only kissed your lover tenderly, it would become boring, predictable, and lack excitement. On the other hand if you only kissed your lover deeply, you would probably have sore lips and get bored with that, too.
Tantric kissing is when you face your lover and moisten each other’s eyebrows, then lean into each other with brows touching. Feel the energy flow from one to the other uniting the two of you into a higher level of consciousness and kiss gently at first as you slowly build up to adding more pressure.
The Power of Touch
Rub your hands together and feel the warm energy as you slowly bring them apart. Put your hands against your partners hand and feel their heat. The energy of touch promotes blood flow, boosts the immune system, nurtures and arouses so don’t forget to incorporate different kinds of touch with your lover including:
A Healing Touch like a scalp rub
A Romantic Touch like a hug
A Seductive Touch like a kiss
An Intimate Touch like a sensual massage is an excellent way to fuse your energies
A Sexual Touch like oral sex
An Erotic Touch like finding the G-spot or the Prostate gland
And finally, an Orgasmic Touch by having sex in one of your favorite sexual positions.
The Best Tantric Sex Position
The “Yab-Yum” is an ancient Sanskrit term which defines the classical, heart-to-heart position of Tantric lovemaking. In this position, both partners are seated upright, with the woman on top of the man (cowgirl style). The main consideration is that the spine must be relatively straight so that the spinal energy of the Kundalini (sexual force) can travel unimpeded and a cosmic circuit can be created between lovers.
When a couple comes into union consciously, they move their energy simultaneously. The Yab-Yum position draws the partners into an “auric egg” or circle on eternal union. The Auric Egg is an energy field created by a man and woman in the Yab-Yum position of lovemaking, in which both partners are sitting upright and creating a circle of energy that flows evenly up and down their spines.
Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Muscle Locks
Bandhas are muscle locks used to cleanse and energize the body and organs.
A common type of bandha in Tantra are kegels, which restore muscle tone, as well as increase length of orgasm, and separates orgasm from ejaculation in men.
The pubecocous muscle (Pubo- Cock -ssih- Gee-ous) or PC muscle is the support muscle for the genitals in both men and women. There is a correlation between good tone in the PC muscle and orgasmic intensity and control. Squeezing and releasing the PC muscle during kegels using repetition helps increase blood flow to the genitals, increases awareness of feelings in the genitals, restores genital muscle tone and control over orgasm, strengthens the penis, while increasing duration and orgasmic pleasure during the sexual experience.
To identify the PC muscle you urinate then stop the flow of urine mid-flow. Women can also insert their finger inside the vagina to feel the inside walls as they contract and relax. Look at your genitals in a mirror and watch them contracting.
Simultaneous Orgasms
Achieving simultaneous orgasms with your partner is like doing the Tango. It’s a sensual dance made for two people working together, communicating with their bodies and responding to each other’s movements.
The PC muscle control raises a woman’s libido, makes her wetter and more turned on, while at the same time, teaches men how to last longer before orgasm (or ejaculation).
The male and female sex organs in Tantra are called lingam (penis) which means “wand of light” and the yoni (vulva and vagina) which translates to “sacred space”.
The Goddess Spot is an area of female genitalia is better known as the G-Spot which was named after Ernest Grafenberg who first clinically identified it in the early 1950s. It is the fleshy area in the vaginal wall, right behind the pubic bone and between the opening of the urethra and the cervix. It swells when stimulated, and creates a heightened energy response in women. In some women, female ejaculation may happen, or Amrita – which means “nectar of the Gods”. It is the female ejaculatory fluid that flows from the urethra of some women during orgasm. Some people believe this fluid to have mystical powers; ancient tribes used it to make healing balms and aphrodisiacs.
The Million Dollar Point is the hollow point in the perineum (between the anus and the scrotum) that, when pressed firmly, will block the outward flow of the seminal fluids. It is said that when this technique is used properly, the man will “feel like a million dollars”. Pressing into this area with the pads of your fingertips also stimulates the male prostate glans and can result in non-ejaculatory full body orgasms in men. Men can train themselves to have longer, more full bodied orgasms, using Tantric methods, as well as help overcome premature ejaculation and erectile issues.
Maṇipadme, is a term meaning “The jewel in the lotus” which is a significant eastern expression referring to penis (jewel) inside the many folds of the lotus (vagina). The language of lovemaking!
Take Away
As you learn more about Tantra, there are some important things to keep in mind. Be open to exploring new sexual territory, enjoy the journey of sex, allow yourself to be vulnerable, don’t judge, and most of all – have fun
According to Merriam-Webster.com, there are many definitions to what love is.
Love is a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.
Love is an attraction based on sexual desire and tenderness felt by lovers.
Love is devotion based on admiration, benevolence (disposition to do good), or common interests. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of solicitude towards a person.
Love refers to a feeling of strong attraction and emotions.
The emotions can be positive and negative. Love can mean trust, commitment, overwhelming feelings, joy, admiration, enjoyment and more. Love is powerful, genuine, exciting, passionate, healing, valuable, and intense.
There are 5 Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation are words of praise and appreciation to express love.
Physical Touch
Physical Touch is ways of showing love through touch.
Acts of Service
Acts of Service is love expressed through actions rather than words.
Receiving Gifts
Receiving Gifts is love being expressed by giving gifts.
Quality Time
Quality Time is spending time together and given attention to them.
There are quizzes online to help determine which one is your love language. Discovering your love language with your partner is a great for your relationship. If you each know what your love language is, your partner can take the time learning about you and using your love language in your relationship.
If your love language is quality time, your partner will know how important their attention and time is to you. Intimacy together is quality time spent together to express love and appreciation.
Love consists of friendship, trust, respect, passion, and communication. Without love our world would not go round. We all experience love as a part of our lives whether it’s a person or material items. Unfortunately, material items cannot love us in return. We work hard for what we want and love the things we have. It’s important to appreciate the simple things in life.
We should always love and put ourselves first. Loving on ourselves first helps us to learn how to love others in our lives. Taking the time to experience love with yourselves, tells us how we deserve to be loved. We learn how special we are and what we are worth.
When we are in love, we release oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Oxytocin is a feel-good brain chemical that helps you bond emotionally with others. Oxytocin reduces stress and increases trust. It is also associated with dopamine and serotonin. Serotonin stabilizes your mood as well as feelings of happiness. Dopamine plays a role in your increasing pleasure, motivation, learning and imprinting memories.
These neurotransmitters are usually referred to as “happy hormones”. When we’re attracted to and/or care about someone, the three work together. Our brain releases dopamine, our serotonin levels increase, and oxytocin is produced. When we’re in love, all these neurotransmitters make us feel happy and loved.
What is Not Love?
Love is not dishonesty, a weapon, sex, lust, obsession, jealously, or possession.
Love should never be used to force someone to do something they don’t want to do.
It should never be used as a weapon against someone.
Someone being jealous or controlling is never love.
Always know what love is and is not to you.
What is lust?
The definition of lust is having an intense desire for another person. When someone is in lust, it can be confused as love. Lust stems from physical attraction and sexual chemistry. When couples combine love and lust together, there is a combination of emotional and physical chemistry. They can experience capability and enrich their lives together.
Love is experienced from our loved ones, friends, and even strangers we just met. To experience love daily, creates happiness and many emotions for you to share to show to others. Learn to love yourself first before you learn to love others.
In the sex community, BDSM are four letters that stand for six words—Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. It’s a playground teeming with games to utilize the exchange of power to heighten pleasure and tantalize the senses.
Photo taken from: https://www.amazon.com/Sexy-Little-Book-Sex-Games/
So lets explore the titillating world of these power exchange sex games from my new book, The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games, where you and your partner trade off being sexually dominant and submissive to one another.
You will need an open mind, mutually trusting hearts and a bit of imagination to let these games be fun and exciting for you and your partner. Some other key ingredients include trust, respect, consent, good negotiation skills, honesty, and great communication.
Some of the sex games may include being tied up or blindfolded, so having a solid sense of trusting your partner to have your best interests in hand is important.
Blind Love Flip a coin to see who is going to be blindfolded and then lead your lover to the bed. Undress and ravish him or her with total abandon, which should be easy because they can’t see you.
Punishment Box Keep a secret box of “punishments” to use on your lover when it’s time for some fun. Have a set of cards with erotic punishments written on each one so that you can pick one randomly. Punishments can range from being tied up, blindfolded, and deprived of orgasm, spanked, or humiliated by walking around naked wearing a leash.
Wrestle Mania Challenge your partner to a nude wrestling match and experience foreplay the Greco-Roman way. For an added twist, consider greasing yourself up with oil and incorporating aspects of bond- age. Would wrestling blindfolded change the dynamic? Try and find out.
Lusty Shopping Spree Go with your partner to a dollar store and each fill up your own baskets with 10 items to use for power exchange games. For example, a spatula for caning, pantyhose for blindfolding, clothespins for pinching, bobby pins for scratching, an oven mitt for spanking, and tape for tying. After 15 minutes of shopping, get together and compare. The person to reach 10 items first wins.
Top and Bottom Satisfaction Take turns switching between being a top and a bottom so that you can be a dominant one day and a submissive the next. As a top, you can take away your slave’s senses to make any punishment experience more intense.
Take away their sense of sight with a blindfold, remove their sense of touch by restraining them, and deprive them of hearing with earplugs or earmuffs. Now you can stroke your lover’s body with ice or any other textures.
For more playful ways to add passion to your love life, get the
Breath can add variety to your lovemaking by blowing your cool breath (with pursed lips) up and down your lover’s spine, on the inside of the thighs, along the crack in the buttocks, on wet testicles and on the vulva lips.
The eyes are the mirrors of your soul. Look into your partner’s soul for a deeper heart connection. Create emotional support so you can create trust, soothe nerves and enhance relaxation. Where the attention goes, energy flows.
Entraining Exercise
