Who Are Spouses Most Likely To Cheat With?

Since so many married people are cheating these days, scientific researchers are busy figuring out why married people are getting busy with people they aren’t married to. Studies estimate that about 30% of married women and 40% of married men cheat.

But who are they cheating with? One recent study from Superdrug, a UK online sexual health drug retailer, found one startling statistic: a whopping 23.8% or 2,000 men and women surveyed said they cheated with “a partner’s best friend.” So wrong! But apparently, so exciting. Who knew?

Cheaters also cheat with people they meet at work, (about 22%), followed by people they meet randomly (20%), followed by people they meet online, (only about 5%.) The big secret among married people who cheat is that they cheat with other married people. (I need to get married so I can cheat.)

Ashley Madison, the hook-up dating site for people “married but dating”, accidentally exposed all of its members’ emails and personal data in 2015, yet two years later, it has more members than ever before. The site, which used to promote itself with “Life is short, have an affair,” has changed its tagline to “the most open-minded dating site in the world.” We’re assuming the move is to open up the site to polyamory people, as polyamory is way more ethical. But a quick browse of the married dudes on the site revealed tons of horny married guys who said “I love my wife but she doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore.” That’s cuz she’s busy having sex with your best friend.

Another cheating study, published in the scientific journal Nature Neuroscience, explains the psychological reason behind how and why people cheat. The study focused on the part of the brain called the amygdala, the part of the brain that regulates both positive and negative emotions. According to the study, the more times someone cheats and lies about it, the more the degree of guilt lessens each time. Each time someone cheats, the brain responds by reacting weaker to each occurrence. It’s like the brain becomes more immune to feeling guilty each time.

So what’s the good news here? The Superdrug study found that the number one reason  both men and women cheat is because their partner “doesn’t give them any attention” so they look for it elsewhere. So in the end its not really about the sex, its about the love. Oh, and whatever you do, don’t introduce your spouse to your best friend.

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and currently writes columns for Brides.com and Los Angeles Magazine. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.


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