
Sex Resolutions
At this time of the year, people find themselves making resolutions about anything and
everything, including sex. On that topic, it can be everything from how many times a day
or week they want it, to where they want it, and with whom. Some of those resolutions
may be attainable, but other desires might be shooting for the stars. Do not get me
wrong, shooting for the stars can be a good way to try to reach your goals with sex. My
point is to make sure your expectations are reasonable. The one thing that can hinder
your sex drive is the pressure you put on yourself.

Like with any goal, you start out small and work your way up. For example, you go to
the coffee shop every day and you see the girl of your dreams working as the barista,
but neither one of you have said a word, nor has she even made eye contact with you.
You cannot expect to walk in and ask her to sleep with you. You would come off creepy
and probably not be allowed back into the establishment.
In this scenario, you first need to try to make eye contract. The eyes can say so much.
The eyes can give you hope, but they can also take the hope away. Let us say that you
had success with making eye contact, maybe even exchanged a smile. Next time try to
talk with her, even if it is to just tell her you like the way she works the expresso
machine. Demonstrate kindness within the business. Maybe buy a cup for a complete
stranger or leave a nice tip. Kindness and generosity go a long way. If successful, it may
be just a week before you get her number.
Next comes the date, by now you are really crazy for her, but remember she is not on
the same page as you are. It is important to note that most of the time each person is
not on the same page as the other. I am not saying it does not happen once in a while,
but not often.
Now, you could get lucky on the night of the date. So, have you thought it out? Where
will you be having sex with this girl of your dreams? Will it be in the back seat of your
car or a nice hotel, or somewhere in between? Everyone is different regarding where
sex is going to happen. What one must have, another might find uncomfortable.
The next question is, what type of sex are you going to have or want? According to
Planned Parenthood, here is a list of types of sex.
- Vaginal sex (penis-in-vagina intercourse)
- Oral sex (mouth-to-genital contact)
- Anal sex (penis-in-butt intercourse)
- Fingering or hand jobs (hand-to-genital contact)
- Dry humping or genital rubbing.
- Masturbation (touching yourself in front of each other)
- BDSM (erotic practices or roleplaying)
Now you need to ask yourself, will you be happy with any one of these? Next, she must
be okay with it too. Sex is a mutual act. Both parties need to be satisfied with it. It is a lot
of pressure that one can put on themselves – the key is not to do that. Have you heard
that old line “it will happen when it happens?” Try to keep this thought in mind. I am a
big believer that life happens for a reason. Sometimes we go through the worst
situation, but if we can hang in there, we come out of the darkness into the light. The air
is not so thick and heavy. We can see clearer. We just might find a playmate along the
way.

The take away is this, please do not make a resolution about sex. More often than not,
people find themselves being disappointed because it never goes as planned in their
head. Sometimes our thoughts do not match the reality before us.
So, enjoy the hunt, then the chase, and then savor the catch. Get to know the person, making sure you do not find yourself in the ‘friend zone’.
A tip to make sure you stay out of the friend zone when dating is to keep it romantic. There will be no mixing things up. What do I mean by keep it romantic? Write a poem, buy flowers, complement her. By doing it this way, you have reduced your stress levels and the pressure is off your shoulders. Enjoy your sex life in 2025. As always, have fun and keep it consensual.