Forced Masturbation: A Definition: What is it and How to Do it

Forced Masturbation—A Definition

Forced masturbation is a term used to describe a form of orgasm control and is used during consensual erotic play where one partner directs the other willing partner to masturbate. This type of sexual activity could be a part of a BDSM scene or slave training in a dominant and submission relationship, or it may be a form of sexual role play between “vanilla” partners who want to explore pushing their sexual boundaries.

Forced masturbation is different from forced orgasm, as the masturbator is the one giving themselves stimulation, instead of their partner controlling the stimulation via sexual play.

What Are Examples of Forced Masturbation?

In BDSM or kink, there are many BDSM scenarios where forced masturbation could be used to erotically charge the scene. These include:

Forced masturbation as a part of slave training where the dominant would train the submissive to masturbate on a regular basis as part of their training agreement.

Forced masturbation as a form of erotic humiliation that could be used during public play where the submissive partner is forced to perform for others, or in private, where the submissive performs a masturbatory act as a reward, punishment, or simply to visually pleasure their partner.

As a part of humiliation, forced masturbation could be a part of a cuckold fantasy, where the husband is forced to masturbate while his hotwife has sex with another man, one who is more endowed physically, has “masculine” qualities and is a “better” lover.

Forced masturbation could also be a part of a gang rape fantasy, where the bottom or sub is forced to masturbate in front of a group while they perform a “circle jerk” around them and come on their body as a form of degrading humiliation play.

During a roleplay scene, players could use forced orgasm during a Boss/Secretary scene where the secretary must masturbate to get the job, or during a medical play scene where the patient must masturbate as a part of their medical exam or treatment.

Another erotic scenario could be during a spanking scene, where the submissive is forced to hold a vibrator to their genitals while being spanked.

Sometimes physical restraints can be used with a masturbation device, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, tied to the individual’s genitals, so they are forced to masturbate against the will in order to remove their ability to control the power of the wand, the intensity of the sensations, and the control of their climax ending in a forced orgasm. This is different than commanding someone to masturbate and following orders, or using a vibrating strap-on with someone, where the individual would have more control over the movement and placement of the toy. Thus, bondage increases the feeling of helplessness and surrender the individual experiences during the experience and they are unable to stop being sexually stimulated.

A corporal punishment or interrogation scene is another likely scenario where a submissive may be forced to masturbate on command, as a part of their “punishment”.

Another form of forced masturbation scenario that is used both within BDSM play and between “vanilla” couples, is using a panty vibrator with a remote control in a public place, where one partner wears the device under the other’s instruction and is told to masturbate in public. The place could be anywhere, but common places could include in a restaurant while having a meal as “dessert”, waiting for a bus, or on public transit, at a park, during a sport’s event, concert, at the beach, in a movie theater, or even a play party.

The object of this activity is to try to minimize the tell-tale signs of sexual pleasure so they don’t get caught and as a form of secret humiliation. This differs from forced orgasm, where the other partner would control the device on the partner receiving pleasure, as the receiver still has control over the stimulation.

During forced masturbation the dominant partner controls when and if the submissive person is allowed to orgasm or not. The submissive partner may have to ask for permission to orgasm; or the dominant partner may command the submissive when they are allowed to orgasm. In other scenarios, the dominant partner may deny the submissive the privilege of orgasm and relief, which is referred to as orgasm denial.

It may also involve making the submissive continue to masturbate after they have already obtained an orgasm when their genitals are still sensitive and tingling, or forcing them to experience multiple and continuous orgasms. For many people, especially men who have a longer refectory period after orgasm, forced masturbation after post-orgasm may feel like sexual torture. In some cases, over-stimulation can become very uncomfortable or even painful. However, orgasms release a lot of feel-good endorphins so the line between pain and pleasure becomes blurred, and pain can be experienced as pleasure.

What Erogenous Zones Can Be Stimulated During Forced Masturbation?

Any erogenous zone could be stimulated during forced masturbation, but the usual places would include the genitals (vulva, clitoris and vagina, or penis and testicles). Other places could also include the perineum, anus, and/or nipples.

Often, sex toys such as vibrators, wand vibrators, remote control vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, cock rings, p-spot massagers and nipple clamps could be used. But, sometimes, the individual will just use their hands and fingers to stimulate themselves during masturbation.

Why Would Someone Want to Try Forced Masturbation?

Why not just masturbate? Why would someone want to be forced to masturbate?

While it seems like a simple distinction, some people feel shy masturbating in front of their partners or other people and rightly so, as society has historically taught us that masturbation is dirty, sinful, against nature, against God, and many other horrible myths to try to suppress self-pleasure.

Luckily, we live in an age where masturbation is celebrated as a healthy act of self-pleasure and self-love.

Still, many people still carry the stigma of masturbating, so forced masturbation could actually be liberating!

Being forced to masturbate can also be very sexually arousing, further stimulating the masturbating partner just by the thought of it alone. Thus, it becomes a mental and psychological turn-on, as well as physical stimulation.

Forced masturbation, as mentioned before can also be a reward or used as a punishment during a BDSM scene. Or it can be used as a way to heighten sexual feelings before having sex.

Forced masturbation is also a form of sexual exhibitionism and voyeurism, so can be very erotically charged for both the viewer and the one performing for their visual pleasure. This can make the performer feel extremely sexually desired, and the viewer gets a private erotic performance for their sole enjoyment.

Forced masturbation also helps individuals and couples push their sexual boundaries, explore new erotic thrills together, can teach one partner how to masturbate and what turns them on, while showing the other partner how they like to be stimulated, similar to mutual masturbation.

Others may enjoy being forced to masturbate as a part of a role-playing scene, where being forced against their will as a fantasy is an arousing turn-on, or on the contrary, an erotic humiliation. Either way, the submissive receives a certain kind of pleasure in being forced to masturbate, by giving up “control”, surrendering to pleasure, and being forced to be an erotic, sexual being, which many people find hard to do, especially in front of their partner.

In many BDSM scenarios there is also a catharsis than can take place: the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions such as shame, or fear.

How Can You Explore Forced Masturbation with a Partner?

I’ve given you lots of ideas of ways you can explore forced masturbation with a partner above.

But, bringing up the subject may be a bit tricky.

First, make sure you have an open and honest relationship with your partner and have full trust in them.

Talking about sex and BDSM play on a regular basis makes it easier to bring up topics for different types of play you may like to explore.

You can open the topic for discussion by telling your partner you just read an article about forced masturbation (like this one!), and that is piqued your interest. Maybe they would like to read about it with you and discuss whether or not you could explore it together?

Be open about how hot you think this would be and how much it would turn you on and this in turn will be sure to make your partner excited as well.

You could even show them a porn scene where forced masturbation is part of the play and ask them what they think about it, and if they’d like to explore it together. This is of course, if the two of you are comfortable watching porn together. And, you could even incorporate watching porn, reading erotica, or audio erotica into a forced masturbation scene as well to fuel the fire.

There are also various erotic hypnosis audios on this subject that you could both listen to together, or as a way to explore forced masturbation during solo play.

And, don’t forget to have fun. Afterall, that’s why we call it BDSM “play”, because it can be playful and you can laugh and be silly and enjoy whatever pleasurable emotions that arise. It doesn’t all have to be serious or strict… unless that’s what you want. But, leave room for unexpected exploration to happen and remember, it is all about exploring new ways to experience pleasure in the end.

A Word About Consent

Despite the name, “forced masturbation”, is not really forced, or a form of coercion. Partners who play with forced masturbation do so consensually, talking about and planning the scene beforehand.

This means deciding what will take place during the scene, what masturbatory devices will be used, if their will be any bondage, spanking or other types of play, how far they should go during the scene and or course the use of a safe word, like “Red” means stop, or “Yellow” means slow down.

So, make sure you have both consented to the play and that you have outlined what will occur during your playtime together. Also, that, at any time, either person may stop the play.


While a submissive may not have physical symptoms of sub-drop (or they may), often they will still have some emotional factors such as feelings of guilt, shame, depression or sadness.

It is therefore important to perform some form of aftercare after a BDSM scene of forced masturbation. This includes drinking liquids, cuddling, hugging, talking and reassuring both partners that everything is okay, sleeping together and other ways to take care of your partners’ emotional, physical, and mental well-being.

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Domina Doll is a Passion, Pleasure, and Empowerment Expert, a Sex Witch, Magic Manifesting Alchemist. Her passion is teaching women how to harness their sexual superpowers so they can manifest their desires using sexual energy and sex magic. Her work has been published both online and in print including Cosmo,, Bustle, YourTango, Slutty Girl Problems, Thought Catalog, and Women's Health. She is the author of: "Jillin' Off: A Girl's Guide to Solo Sex" and Lovehoney's Official Passion, Pleasure & Empowerment Expert, a sex educator who writes how to articles to help people have better pleasure-filled sex lives. Domina has trained in several holistic modalities including Sacred Tantra Sexuality, Ancient Taoist Sexual Empowerment, Metaphysics, Magic, Kundalini, Moon Magic, Jungian & Goddess Archetypes, Sex Magic and Manifesting, and is a Certified Sex Coach.


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