Cuckold Relationships
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“My Husband told me that he wants me to have sex with other men.”
As a sex therapist, I have heard this more often than you would think. There is a small population of men and couples that engage in “cuckold” relationships.
The term cuckold first appeared in English Literature in 1562. Cuckold refers to the fact that the man being cuckolded is the last to know about his wife’s infidelity. This also refers to a tradition claiming that in villages of European time, the community would gather around to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gave birth to a child that was not his own. According to this legend, a parade was held in which the hapless husband was forced into wearing antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife’s infidelity.
The term cuckold in modern times has morphed into what some refer to as a sexual fetish, or for some couples, a lifestyle. As a clinical sexologist and intimacy counselor working with clients in cuckold relationships, I’ve observed that the practice is usually male driven, not anything like the unwanted humiliation of the past. With the couples I counsel, the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife have sex with other men. The husband’s “victim” role is definitely a major element of the kink. In the fetish cuckolding subculture, the female is typically portrayed as being sexually dominant while the man takes on a submissive role, only becoming involved with her or her lover when she permits it—sometimes remaining completely celibate in the marriage altogether. One of the main ingredients in the cuckold marriage is the practice of humiliation, and for the husband’s sexual release to be withheld until his wife decides to allow him to climax.
Cuckold Submissives
In some marriages, the husband may even wear a male chastity belt as a way of his wife controlling his orgasm, playing out the fantasy that he is not capable of controlling it himself. Part of the sex play is also the comparison of penis size, and humiliating him for not having a large enough penis to give her full enjoyment of penetration.
Not Swinging or Polyamory
Many times the concept of cuckold gets confused with swinging or polyamory, but cuckold is different. For most men that want their wives to join them in a cuckold relationship, it takes the pressure off to perform sexually. Indeed, the majority of the men who enjoy the cuckold lifestyle do have some form of sexual dysfunction. They feel that they are not able to please their wives sexually, so they want another man to do it for them. They are also obsessed with the size of their own penis in comparison to other men. They feel that their penis is too small to please their wife, regardless if whether that is true or not.
Often times because they are insecure with their penis size or sexual performance, they begin to fantasize about a cuckold relationship. Some men even reported that after they had been in a prior relationship with a woman who cheated on them, instead of getting upset, they found that the idea turned them on. Some experts could say that part of this is deeply hurt feelings turned into a sexual fetish. As this theory goes, the man thinks that because of his small penis or failure to please his partner, she cheated on him. Although when pressed further, many men admit that they themselves created and perpetuated the idea in the woman’s head so that she would go out and cheat. Is it the chicken or the egg? It’s complicated, which is partly why it’s been designated as a fetish.
Cuckold Relationships & Sexual Domination
Another aspect of this fetish is sexual domination and punishment by the wife. She may spank him, paddle him, or flog him and shame him for lack of fulfillment of her sexual desire. This may become a part of just the sexual play in the couple’s life or this may become a way of life for the couple, depending on the degree of the cuckolding in the marriage.
For a man that is already married and wants his wife to engage in this fetish with him, it typically does not end well. Most women do not understand why their husband would want another man to have sex with them, so communication and intimacy break down. Occasionally a wife will go along with this cuckold relationship to please her husband and / or because she has an open mind and an adventurous spirit. At some point though, the end result of this behavior is that she falls in love with the other man, or realizes that she is not okay with this fantasy at all, and is in fact harboring resentment toward her husband. The few relationships that have had some success with cuckolding are the ones where both the husband and wife were interested in the concept before marriage, and set up boundaries with clear communication beforehand.
For more information or to seek help with a cuckold relationship e-mail Dr. Dawn Michael at [email protected]
[…] When we hear the cuckold it is natural to assume it is a fairly new word that has grown out of the sexual liberation of the 1960s. Nonetheless the genesis of the word cuckolding goes back nearly 500 years as the word for an unfaithful wife. […]
Dr Michaels, thanks for your post, it’s very informative.One cannot believe everything one reads on the internet,but I’m convinced you’re the real mc’coy. However there is a woman by the name of Susan Gower ,who claims to be relationship counsellor and sex therapist and she puts stuff on the internet that totally contradicts yours—- she openly encourages cuckolding and tells husbands to accept it—- please tell me, do you know of her, and is she really a therapist, or is she a fake?I know this is the 21st century, and women are now the dominant sex due to their increased confidence and authority,but if that’s got to the stage where a modern husband has to accept his wife having sex with other men while he’s chaste, then I sure as hell won’t be getting married!(I’m a 55 year old single never married male)
Susan Gower is so full of shit it’s coming out of her eyes! I looked at her post and she completely ignores several studies on sexuality and inserts insane beliefs.
First it has been proven in scientific studies that a man ejaculates more powerfully when inside of a woman. She claimed they can receive the same release when masturbating. This is simply not true at all.
Second she claims that a man will enjoy sex with just a single partner just as much as multiple partners. Again absolutely false. In many studies it has been shown that men are hard wired to spread our seed to as many women as possible.
Third she claims that only a woman loses sexual desire in her mate as she ages. Again studies have proven this to be false as well. Men, all men have stronger sexual attraction to women in their 20s. They are at prime mating age and all men are hard wired to breed.
She’s a quack through and through and is using a somewhat growing fetish to make money and gain fame. The reason women get hornier in their 30’s when they don’t have a lot of kids is because their body is telling them they are running out of time. Women have screwed the system up so bad now that their bodies are going nuts trying to tell them this isn’t right. Women aren’t the dominant sex in any way shape or form and they are already getting frustrated to the point of whining in countless forums about the way things are going now. They want men to be men and there are couples counselors scratching their heads wondering why women are leaving “good men” for dominant men who don’t fall for the modern BS.
I have wanted a cuck relationship with my wife for a long time. I actually convinced her to hook up with a guy that she was definitely attracted to. They got together on 5 different occasions and I was so hot and excited every time. She has since decided married women shouldn’t do something like this and refuses to see him or anyone else. I am so dissapointed.
Modern Cuckold fetish is neurosis which is caused by watching porn movies. He find more arousal watching sex act then doing it himself hence some men unable to have sex with their wives/girlfriends. Now such guys start fantasizing their wives having sex with other man and that man must be like the one that they prefer to see as male porn actor in porn movies. If husband like MM F porn movies then he want her wife to do MM F type sex. If husband like black bull then he wants her wife to have sex with black bull like man. If husband like gang-bang sex then he expect her wife to be ganged banged. Any husband want sex pleasure from his wife. Now his taste of sex has changed he turned by watching sex act rather than having it himself so when he want to have sex pleasure from his wife then he want to watch his wife having sex with man whom he find similar to porn actor he likes. His feeling of Honor and modesty which is supposed to stop him doing this, get perverted to arouse him by making his way to do so. I think this is the most indecent, shameful sex pervert/fetish. To cure from this fetish man should read literature watch movies that are related to praise of masculinity, honor, modesty, chastity. He should also study and practice such religion like Islam which teaches honor of man, role of man. The importance of women hijab etc. This is how he get rid this satanic fetish. Man who do is utterly stupid person because he may loose his relationship, his wife’s love for him. He blocks his own seeds two spread and end up rearing the offspring of stranger man.
I think cuckolding is natural. Afterall, shouldn’t a woman always be looking for the best dick to breed with? In primative times, I’m sure this was the case and man after man in the tribe slid up behind her at the bonfire to deposit his sperm inside her. Now in more modern times she has the latitude to decide if she wants to get pregnant or simply satisfy her natural cravings for orgasm. The natural need to find the best and a hardest cock is still driving her libido. My wife frequently states to me she needs a hard cock and not mine that only lasts a minute. And a woman can easily accomodate more cocks in a day than only one. I believe the vagina was designed for multiple dicks so the best sperm will get planted. It goes without saying a vagina can have many more dicks in a day than hardons a man can achieve so the woman should be the leader of the family or the husband risks being shown the door. Most women divorce thier hubby in thier 30s now anyway and seek a new mate. Final thought on women, isn’t the oldest profession in the world based on a woman giving herself to multiple encounters with a variety of men? I think whoring, cuckolding and female led relationship make a lot of sense for society and we would be a calmer society if women openly entertained multiple suiters in public and at home whether married or single.
Next, a man proposes marriage on his knee in a subservient position. He intends to be a good provider and faithful to his woman, family, in all her needs. So a man should know his woman has already had several partners before he woos her. It is only expected that she will occasionally desire others as time goes on. So a woman who cucks her husband and then has casual partners for sex is in keeping with how our biological needs and natural desires are designed IMHO. A really good husband will help find good sex partners and see that her needs for sex are well met. Cuckolding to me is the best form of marriage.
Pretty well spot on.
You do not understand the primal urges of men or women if you think they looked for the best dick to breed with all the time. They look for the best mate and then want to mate for life. MEN on the other hand want to fuck any and all they find attractive, which is why they can ejaculate baby making items about 8 times a day instead of once a month. Women also produce a chemical when they are fucking meant to mentally attach them to the man who is fucking them. They would not have that chemical production unless evolution “decided” it was advantageous for them to do so. The thing that bothers me the most about you candi asses is the fact that you truly think your degenerate ways are the way we all should be. I am not coming from a moral high ground either, fuck morals, I have none, but the idea that its normal for you to go around a look for guys like me to put loads in your wife so you can eat them out is almost too comical to put into words. What biological imperative does that serve for the man getting the dicks for his wife? I know what is does serve, it serves as a way to delete your defective genes out of the gene pool….. where they belong.
You refer to evolution and then proceed to say whats right and wrong. You are a nut
Well stated. Thanks
I find it tragic that women have been held back for thousands of years by male dominated institutions like religions, governments, society’s customs / laws.
The woman is the natural provider and nurturing sex. They are smarter, not led around by their penis,vs bare much more pain than any man.
Think of all the wars in history most if you get right down to it where driven by men seeking power. They sought power to impress women, to hide their inadequacies, or to subjugate more people (women).
Men have long barred women from positions of power, through laws, no rights to vote, through religion, submit to your man, in the work place, you name it. Groups of men got together and always made rules excluding the females from their rightful position of power.
For society to work right we should be like bees, a woman on the throne and us men as her workers, servents, and if we are lucky sex objects.
We are here to protect and die for our women not to hold them back and control them! So many problems would go away with women in charge and a large mass of me neutered, waiting on them as handmadiens. The rest could be used as studs, workers, soilders,farmers, and care givers.
Let the women free to run our world. Be happy if you get to masturbate. I please my wife with cunilingus 3-5 times per day. She knows I worship her but I am a 5 second man. She let’s me use her panties to pleasure myself and I cook clean and raise “our” children. If I am real lucky she pegs me.
What a crock! It has nothing to do with power unless the man has a severely bad self image and a deep seeded desire to be punished. If so, don’t loan out your woman; go see a psychiatrist. Sometimes it’s just that a man sees too much porn and wants to replicate what he’s seen; it’s just better in three dimension, but if you intend on following this fantasy or fetish or whatever it is, don’t forget to first read 1 Corinthians 6:9 (the sexually immoral will not enter the kingdom of God). In Genesis, God said to be fruitful and multiply. He didn’t say multiply with only one woman, only a woman he’s married to, or any other restrictions. It is culturally dictated, however, that a man keeps to his wife and his wife only to him. However, in the beginning a man could have as many wives as he could fit into his tent, feed and take care of, so it’s kind of complicated. Modern day laws limit us to only one wife at a time. A man should never marry a woman he can’t trust. If she thinks she needs something else, or something more, or somebody else, he needs to dump her – fast. If his fantasy is based on his feeling that his penis is inadequate, he needs to understand something: a vagina is only so deep (approx six or seven inches at most). If she takes on a ten inch penis, do the math. More importantly, don’t buy into the porn-generated idea of men with twelve inch penises; there aren’t that many around and men need to know that their woman can only feel pleasure in about the first one third of her vagina. Beyond that she can feel pressure, but not pleasure. The pleasure nerves just aren’t there. So don’t let your woman convince you she needs a circus dick to make her happy. Her pleasure comes from the friction, not the stretching. If her capacity is even as far as nine inches deep (maybe she’s eight feet tall), she only feels pleasure in the first three inches of her tract. Most men – especially the averagely hung man – can tap in that far and then some. So, guys, don’t let your penis length make you feel inadequate and if your woman tells you she needs something more than what you have, she’s just looking for an excuse to cuckold you and you need to dump her. Find a woman you can depend on and who doesn’t care how big, how thick, how pretty or any other adjective that describes what God gave you. If she loves you, she loves your equipment; if not, you’re wasting your prime years and need to move on.
Dude … I have read and reread what you said Thanks!!! You are right. I actually allowed my wife to get fucked several times by three different men thinking I was into that. Truth is I was fucking up my marriage… She said she was doing it for me and yes I wanted it to happen but it changed our relationship … We were lucky tho cause I am the man and I know when to stop and stopping is happening right Now. Yes it was hot yes I enjoyed parts of it but it affected me in a negative self immage way that really is me lying to me. Yes I said that correctly I was lying to myself in my head … My self talk was I’m too fat, my cock is too short, I’m too tired all the time … Just bullshit in my head. Yes I need to get into better shape and will but so does my wife. My cock is fine and I’ve fucked other women when cum all over it just fine. So to the other men out there stop beating yourself up. Just accept and love yourself as u r for who u r and do your best work hard and when u wanna fuck your wife or significant other just do it the way u want “take what you want” say if what is happening is hot out loud tell her u r about to blow your load don’t keep quiet or act or hold back cause of some idea u have put in your head about oh she really does not like this or she really is not into this … Bullshit. Fuck her the way u want it enjoy it tell her u r enjoying it tell her she is gonna make u cum when u r about to blow and get into her get into it. She really just wants to feel desired, feel sexy
That’s the same with me I am overweight and my cock is between 3 1/2 and 4 inches my wife just looks at it and laugh he actually told me in our brands are couples that we go out with they know all about placing it she thinks she’s a compliant pictures of it and then every damn magazine she lives near cleaners clean her up after having sex with her bowl and her lovers at least I get to do that and clean your ass
Your use of scripture is seriously taken out of context
I’m a gay man and I live with my partner for 13 years. Seven years after we started dating I found out that he cheated on me. I was very jealous, but at the same time very aroused, like I’d never been before, what made me really confused. With time I figured out that the idea of him sleeping with another man really turned me on. We talked a lot about this and sometime, while we were having sex, we both fantasised about him having sex with another guy. It turned us both on. One day he finally did it. Since then we do it once in a while. He goes meet another guy and later, while we have sex, he tells me everything about it and how much he enjoyed it. I still feel jealous in a way, there is some amount of pain, but there is also this great sense of liberty and arousal about it… I wouldn’t want it any other way. Unfortunately there is almost nothing written about cuckolding in the gay community, but I’m a living example that it exists!
Marco,I have research cuckoldry on and off for the last 20 years or so(since having access to the internet)..and I can’t recall anything written about it with gay couples..I personally know I am not gay,as I have tried being with men sexually,,and in that scenario ,I was always 100% “bottom. )One thing I remember thinking while in the relationship with my ex-wife was..”by her doing this,it makes our trust so great,she will never leave me”..I found that not to be the case!..Thus your friend is your partner,,why can’t that thought apply to you?..thanks just a thought I had
You’re committing sexual sin that will cast you into hell forever and you’re worried about somebody cheating on you? You’re an idiot. Read Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1 and 1 Corinthians 6:9) then find a good conversion therapist. It is possible to abandon the gay lifestyle; people do it all the time. Don’t let Satan’s activists fool you or shame you. You can live a normal life and get away from gayness. There are only two destinations for the life after life. Pick one.
Joey,. You dont know what youre talking about. You seem like a self righteous hypocrite.
We are in a cuckold relationship and it has only strengthened our bond. Our sex life has become much better and I can get a bigger cock whenever I want without feeling guilty. We both love it but it does require communication.
For us it was almost an evolving case. We first tried swinging, but since Sven is rather small down there and could not get it up most of the time, it was usually only me who ended up having sex. After a few encounters like that we both realized that he was probably a natural cuckold. I have had sex with six different guys in the last year. All six were larger than my hubby and amazing lovers. I feel really lucky and our relationship has also become much close. So far only positives.
Yes but how long will it last……?
yes, but how long does most marriages.
Good for you! That is the way to go.
SaraSven, Your man is so freaking lucky! My sitiuation is very similar. I have what most girls refer to as a “pencil” penis. Can’t help it, just the way it is. My wife and I were both virgins and fell in love in high school. I know it sounds stupid and crazy to most people, but I knew she had to be wondering what “big thick” men felt like. She has quiet a “big cat” on her to say the least. It’s the most beautiful thing! Anyway, we started out buying toys and before ya know it we had moved up and up in size. She started pretending they were real men as I used them on her. Well one day I just ask her if she had ever wondered what it would feel like to be completely filled up by a real “big” man? It took a little persuasion to actually make it happen, but she finally caved in. We had a good friend and she admitted to noticing in his swim trunks that she couldn’t help but imagine he was very large. Next thing ya know while watching a movie at the house I pretended to fall a sleep. That’s when my wife boldly got up walked over to him took him by the hand and led him down our hall to our bedroom. I spent the next 2 hours laying in my chair throbing with excitement, due to the thought about her finally getting to experience what it was like to sleep with another man. Well after 2 hrs went by I couldn’t take it anymore so i called her on the home phone which is by our bed. She answered and said, “yes, what do you want little man?”
I said, “well hows it going? She said, “oh you just don’t know what just happened to me on your bed! I have never been so pleased in my life! Thank you so much!”
I said, “well good for you babe! You sure deserve it, but do you think you may be able to come back to the living room and please me real quick? If you will i promise to go to sleep in the other b/r and let you get back to enjoying your night.” She said, “i don’t know, I will have to ask Greg and call you back. The phone rang, “meet me in the kitchen in 5 min.” So next thing I knew my wife came walking into the kitchen completely naked, hair all over the place, and as my eyes scanned over her awesome body I could see she had cum running down both of her inner thighs. Like I said I know it’s crazy but I almost come before I stuck my little wiener inside her. She lay down on the floor and told me to hurry up and get it over with because she had a real man waiting on here in my bed! She had already named me “cocktail” so she told me to put that little thing in her and feel what her new found lover had done to her vagina! So I did only to hear her ask me if i had put it in yet? I said OMG! What has he done to you!? She said oh I picked out a good one babe! She said that boy is as big around as your freaking wrist is, and it took me some time and work to accomodate him, but after he was all the way in I started having multiple orgasms! I told her I though you said you could only cum from oral sex and vibrators? She said well I just thought so but that’s different now. She then told me that what is done is done and that I hoped liked getting a lot of sloppy secounds from now on because she would not be ever making love to me again w/o having Greg first.
Anyway buy her humiliating me more and more just turned me on more and more. And I was so glad he had been so big! The next night came and Greg took her again.
That night kicked off 2 yrs of her sleeping with him, along with her taking about 5 others for test drives but she always came back to Greg. She said he was over 2″ thick and I am barely 1″ She said the others were still much larger than me but no where near him.
So those years mostly consisted of me having to work on the weekends while she was off, so she would call me at work and tell me too bad I had to work, because Greg was coming over. After work I would come home expecting her to tell me all about her day with him and then make love to me, but it didn’t work like that.He was so big that after she got through with a day of his pounding her she would tell me she was to sore that I would have to wait a few days! There were times she would show me her bruised inner thighs with his cum still seeping out of her, then make me wait! She growed to love Greg and almost left me! She told me that I would never be able to please her now for sure, and that I ask for it so live with it.
We are still married believe it or not and Greg moved away, but she has not made love to me for 8 yrs now. All she will allow me to do is master bate in front of her as she laughs at the size of my pencil penis while she stuffs hugh didoes in her and screams Gregs name when she comes! AND still I love her and get more excited every time I think back on those days! Anyway wish I could really tell you all of it but I have to stop somewhere. Contact me if you want to here the really good stuff.
Sarasven,
We are in the same situation. My wife decides who she sleeps with. I have to approve of course and we have a relationship I have never thought possible. Life is so short and love being with my wife through this journey. Enjoy!
My wife and I accept the fact that I can never give her deep fulfilling o”s with my micro penis and ed issues. She accepts and loves me for who I am and I accept the fact that she enjoys very large penises. 2 years ago I bought her a Vixen Creations Johnny dildo and for the first time in our 10 year marriage she cried because she had such an awesome orgasm. I kept buying larger and larger porn star dildos and she became addicted to G& A spot orgasms. This last year we got involved in a local swing club where one evening she got fucked by 6 guys the same night! So hot! We both have a mutual guy friend who acts as a surrogate cock for my wife. I am so addicted to seeing his thick long cock make my wife moan so loud. It turns me on to watch his seed drip from her wide open well gaped love tunnel❤ so hot to see her expressions when he goes into her and see the trace of his cock on her belly. I love to push down lightly with my palm as he fucks her and remind her of how good his cock feels inside her. Her and I loooove it when he says how much he likes fucking my wife.
My wife said to me, “Don’t be nervous. My love for you is unconditional. I know you can’t help it. You are who you are. So if you believe being a cuckold epitomizes your inner self. If you know it defines you. You should accept it. You should be proud of it. Your declaration will be the ultimate act of liberation. I promise to enable your every need. I’ll honor and support your proclamation as a symbol of commitment to our relationship and my love will expand in ways you can’t imagine.” -FH
Wow that’s beautiful
As has been she’s a version similar if not IDENTICAL to what your wife says, that EVERY wife in this position does?!
Men need to stop looking at porn for their examples as all you literay are doing is turning porn into a reality, hints why you’re not the one fucking her too…in the porn video you’re simply the voyeur, so why the hell do you need that type of part in real life lol
Lastly ALL women who agree (myself includes for 4 years now) have been told to try it by our MEN, and ONLY BECAUSE why watch porn when you can LIVE IN IT and no longer have to please your woman and have that pressure since she’s essentially a slut for cock now and will fuck anyone she pleases….oh but wait is she with a black man now??? DUH that’s the end result of it all as they have the biggest cock for your absolutely THOUGHTLESS SELVES to see being used on your own personal porn star now?!
I call the shots in my hotwife cuck style, if he says baby I just want you to want bbc SO bad, it’s simply “brady if I want it I’ll get it and if I don’t chances are is because you’re NOT suppose to be able to choose if you’re rendering your cock useless and also ALMOST ALWAYS caged or close to.
Oh and how’s the tattoos? I stay in this because we have excellent communication but he’s often put back in his place. If you want to be a cuck and caged I’m all for it, but you’re not going online to watch BBC porn and Tumblr bullshit thinking oh well I don’t need to be Dom and I can essentially castrate this thing, so I can jerk off whenever to this or my new live porn since my sperm and cock are useless now bexause I’m lazy as fuck and justify it by making it seem like my wife is the lucky ducky who gets what she wants and fawned by other men. GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE if she knew that it all IS this way solely because you’ve watched SO much porn you have decided to find someone to play that hot bimbo SLUT wife that’s oh so real, in real life so you have more interaction and aren’t stuck being the person behind the computer.
Rant over.
Sounds like your cuckold relationship has communication problems. You sound far too bitter about it to be actively engaging in it. Sorry.
An excellent explanation, and the cautions at the end are valuable. Men are often characterized as greedy pigs in bed, and many inexperienced ones are. However, in general and in the context of a relationship, men are keenly focused on pleasing their partners. Cuckolding is a way of accomplishing two things: (1) attempting to please his partner in ways that he cannot; and (2) especially if his penis is small (mine is) sexualizing longstanding and persistent fears and insecurities about his sexual capability and harnessing all that negative energy into positive sexual energy. Dr. Michael, I loved this posting.
It has nothing to do with satisfying the wife. That is what the hubby uses to look good when actually it is completely driven by his fantasy and fetish that brings him a lot of physical pleasure. If if he had a conscience and wanted his relationship to succeed he would find other solutions. Since he is strictly driven by his own pleasure when he masturbates in those situations, he ignores reality, the fact that it may work for a while but will eventually like everything based on personal gratification, evolve and end badly. Of course he ignores the warning signs because they actually heighten his pleasure and the couple implodes.
Your post indicates clearly that you have not understood this posting.
Unless your cognitive deficit is holding you back, you can improve with time and effort your reading comprehension.
“Indeed, the majority of the men who enjoy the cuckold lifestyle do have some form of sexual dysfunction. They feel that they are not able to please their wives sexually, so they want another man to do it for them.”
It’s prominently included in the article, and obvious to those who read it.
As to your intentional unpleasantness, it’s your personal choice.
Wives rarely capitalize on this because they simply don’t understand the dynamics of penis size to men. Most women married to small endowed men usually refrain from pointing out their husband’s obvious lack of manhood, either because they are truly content with him, or, as mentioned above, are afraid to hurt his feelings.
when most men are looking for hot ladies or having affair outside the marriage, why not women? Cuckolding is a concept that should be encouraged. Not only because it’s a practice of fairness for women but it also allows more sexual freedom for women. Men should not be always the only species to have this kind of sexual freedom
What a contradictory statement. Howcom cuckold is practice of fairness? you are talking about open marriage rather than cuckolding. In the cuckolding, man is often denied the chance of fucking his own wife let alone any other women.
Found out my wife has cheated during our marriage. I am not a big or strong lover and I can understand her need for more. However, I would rather that she pursued this in more of a cuckold manner than going behind my back. Since I understand that she needs more than I have to give sexually, I would have liked experiencing these encounters with her.
I Want My Wife to Have as Minny Men as she Wants.When Ever She wants them ,Ill Not Stand in her Way.i Kind of like Watching her get Ready for a Date with one of Her Work Mates,or Even a new Strainge Guy.Knowing that She is Going to Be Satafied is Good Enough for Me.I love Her.
Cuckolding is, in my opinion, a very natural thing. I am living since 5 years in a successful cuckolding relationship, after all – on my blog, LovinsmallPenis, I talk about how I as a small endowed man enjoy this lifestyle!
I think that most men who are cuckolds are made by a woman and I think that usually the woman wants her man to demonstrate total acceptance and what better way than to help her have sex with other men. There is nothing so submissive for a man than to accept his wife having sex with other men except cleaning her after or finding the other men for her. Being a cuckold means being owned by a woman and most cucking follows a pattern. The woman makes the man think it is his idea and she gradually breaks him down by sexual manipulation. She may start playing with his ass while talking about group sex or sharing and milking him at the same time. This progresses to penetration and eventually her doing him anally whenever she wants. Some women use humiliation to further reduce the mans resistance to being dominated. The funny thing is that her other lovers are cuckolds as well and provide sex on demand but are not valuable enough to have any deep relationship with. If you are a cuckold you are valued by your wife and loved but also dominated and sometimes abused. One of the reasons most cuckolds are not allowed to have other women is that their owners fear other females may steal their property.
Do you have any suggestions on how to approach this subject with my boyfriend. It took us breaking up a while back, because I thought he was accusing me of cheating, before I realized this was what it was really about. He has indirectly made comments, I just didn’t pick up on it at the time. I’m okay with it but he does not communicate well and I don’t want him shutting down.
During sex, you get him to tell you his fantasies- no limits. Then throw in some hints of you dressing skimpy and showing a little here and there- where he can see them watching you. Let him be in control at first – you are helping to turn him on- and make sure you are doing that physically as well as with the story. You never know. Most of us want to be the third party watching secretly.
you may want to gradually start dominating him and eventually use a dildo on his ass. This will change the emotional balance in your relationship and he will become submissive and supportive and accepting of you having other men and you will feel empowered to have whatever you desire, just treat him well and keep him involved by having him participate
you may wish to dominate him to a point where he becomes submissive. the best way to train a man is to make submission pleasurable so apply a little control and then do something to make him feel good. My wife started holding my balls and making me beg and then she would give me an orgasm, that led to anal penetration with the same rewards. You can slowly bring up the subject at first when he is very aroused so he associates you and another man with arousal of course go slowly. Above all a good husband is hard to find and a good cuck hubby even rarer so if you are successful bingo. Treat him well and keep him informed and involved with luck he will find men for you and help with your pleasuring
How can I get my wife to cuckold me…. really need someone to talk to. How do I go about this?
Dear Dean,Hit me Up a ( [email protected]) and ill tell you all about How it happened to Me and Why I Live being a Cuckold Husband.
WAW!!! What an eye opener. I’ve been married for 21 years and my husband told me he is a cockold. Wtf??? I’ve never heard the term. Disgust, jealousy trust issues and rejection surfaced FAST!!! After some research I found it exists and is very dam real. How does a normal wife introduce this into her life and not thinking it’s crazy? How do I get back my husband the way he was before around 3 years ago.
It’s caused a lot of pressure for me and I simply don’t understand it. Can our relationship ever go back to how it was but include our unconditional love we have received throughout this weird but very real fetish.
Or do I except and please him(because I really want him happy) or do I try and learn and help him through this.? Is this potentially damaging to our relationship??
Yes it is like it wa said cuckolding fetishes are basicly escapism, a method to escape his deep insecurities and fears, he is going around his fears instead of breaking them. Help him, tell him how big he is even if he is not, tell what you like about him, suggest him to start going to the gym with you. This type of fetish is a rape fetish in my opinion only accepted because it is funny in this society to esmasculate men.
Basically lie to him, yeah thats a great marriage. Lol!
“Tell him how big he is, even though he’s not”.
Lying like that is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing a partner could do to me, as someone with this fetish (or similar) I suspected my partner wasn’t being honest anyway.
I think it is best to be honest about what you want. For me, I just felt my penis girth wasn’t enough and wanted to give her more enjoyment by using a realistic penis sleeve…..just to see if it meant she would have more pleasure. She always had only one orgasm, and I thought it my penis was thicker, she might have more, and I would have been happy with that.
This last post struck a chord with me! We are exactly in the same place. My wife says it doesn’t turn her on to talk about this. She does not find it sexually stimulating. She response is what about me? What about what turns me on? Yet, when I ask her, she talks about romantic settings, but not anything specific. Once she talked about Bell and Bill a western couple that are very hot for each other.
So, how do we proceed? This fantasy arouse in me many years ago because of an indiscretion she revealed to me. At first I was shocked then really, really turned on. Growing to love the idea of her having sex with another man. I’d be happy if she would just entertain that in fantasy.
She once did by wearing tight leather look pants while I fantasized about guys hitting on her and getting turned on by her.
What to do?
Thanks for any comments that might help. We are committed to each other.
Hi,
I live in India and my name is Gaurav Roy Bose. Before I put forth my case, I will like to discuss with you about my family history.
My father and mother originally belonged to Bangladesh, from Sirajganj. Now there are and were many atrocities happening on the minority Hindu community in Bangladesh and that made my parents to leave Bangladesh and settle in India. On their return journey to India, they were attacked by goons and all their belongings were looted. Luckily my mother and father were saved by a Naib Subedar of the Indian army and in the refugee camp, my mother mated several times with the Naib Subedar who saved her life from the goons behind my father’s back. Eventually my mother had a baby from the Naib Subedar, who happens to be my elder brother, Sourav Roy Bose. The Naib Subedar never accepted the child and my father upon several requests from my mother accepted the illegal child and gave him his name. I was born almost 6 years after the incident. I came to know about my family’s past from my mother’s diaries. I always had the habit of spying into someone’s personal lives.
Now the problem is that my girl friend had also known about my family’s past and now she is demanding that I be with a Femdom and cuckolding relationship with her or else she calls quits. I dearly love her, and I don’t want to leave her. I also want that she be mine and only mine. We are planning to get married, but she is demanding to be a open marriage from her side. I just can’t understand how I can accept someone mating my girlfriend and accept that its not a cheating.
Can anyone please help?
Don’t do it, my friend. Be a man and stand your ground. If she persists, dump her.
Getting cuckolded is a great thing for men – many love it !
I have been reading in my blog (lovinsmallpenis.wordpress.com) for years about it.
hai ,i have confused about cuckold sex, i spoke to my wife cuckold sex,,but its right or not ????any relationship problem will comes our life ???? i involve or not??? plz explain clearly
I never heard the term cuckolding when I met the girl of my dreams and eventually married but I began fantasizing about it even before I knew there was even a term for it. The “cuckold” fantasies started manifesting shortly after my fiance “Kim” (now my wife) introduced me to one of her coworkers “Josh” at a holiday party. To me he seemed to be a very nice and and confident guy with a great sense of humor but after Kim had a few drinks in her it became a bit obvious that she had some kind of office crush on him, especially after he told us that he’d just broken off his current relationship with his girlfriend. It’s hard to put into words but Kim’s reactions to his confidence and his sense of humor were that of an infatuated school girl. Heck, even when he was mingling with others I noticed Kim frequently looking in his direction and whenever I returned from a smoke break or restroom break I’d find them together. Naturally I felt strong twinges of jealousy and panic but I tried brushing them off, convincing myself that it was just silly paranoia. In the weeks that followed that party I began thinking about the possibility of Kim cheating on me and it was arousing me sexually! I couldn’t understand why that aroused me so much but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Finally, shortly after we got married I asked her about Josh, (Nothing sexual) just conversation about him and their daily interactions. Again, while talking about him I had the feeling that she “likes him” a lot but then she joked that he was still an eligible bachelor so I better be on my best behavior! WOW! I knew she was just joking but that was when I realized that my observations weren’t just paranoia so I broached the question. I asked her if she was sexually attracted to him. She said no at first but then I told her how obvious she is when she’s around him but that’s okay. I also confessed my fantasy and said that if she ever gets the opportunity to be with him to go for it, just as long as she tells me in advance and shares her experiences. About a month later Kim and Josh went out on their first date and my cuckold fantasy became a reality.
I’ve been a cuckold for well over 20 years. It started out as a fantasy for me in my twenties. It was a kink for me long before I knew the terms for it: cuckold and wittol. I can only speculate where it started. Among the many kinks I have, I’ve always been a voyeur. I definitely found MMF and gangbang porn to be my favorite. I’ve had bisexual tendencies since I was a teenager, probably since I hit puberty. It was love at first sight for me and my wife and I find her incredibly attractive. A total MILF/Hot Wife. My wife of 20 years now, dated on and off for many years. She had sex with other men while we were apart, but she also cheated on me at least once while we were dating. I was certainly hurt when it happened, but as time went on it was incredibly arousing and I started fantasizing about her having sex with other men. She was a bit of a slut as a teenager and would tell me stories of her having casual sex with people she just met and it just fueled my arousal. After we got married, we had a threesome with my best friend at the time and I became obsessed with it. I encouraged her to have sex with him as often as possible. It got to the point where every time we went out, she would suck his cock and swallow. We went to a few swing clubs, so I could watch her have sex with other men. Humiliation wasn’t really a part of it in the beginning, but it is a huge part of it now. I’m almost 8 inches, so I’m not small, but the idea of someone stronger, better looking, with a bigger cock that can satisfy her is now a big part of the turn on. I’m told it’s common for a women not to cum during intercourse, but that is part of it for me when another man can make her cum when I can’t. The biggest turn on of all for me and something rarely mentioned in articles is her making me eat her lover’s cum. I don’t think I can explain how much that turns me on beyond anything I’ve ever done. I’m pretty obsessed by the thought of a man cumming inside her and her holding my head and sweetly encouraging me to clean it up. The humiliation of her asking me if I like eating another man’s cum and if I like the taste is intoxicating. I’m guessing that’s more rare. It may sound odd, but I completely love and trust my wife. If I didn’t, I couldn’t do it. If I thought she would fall in love with another man and leave me, it wouldn’t be a turn on. It works because I’m not jealous of anyone. I’m confident that she loves me just as much as I love her. I certainly worship her more and I’m more the submissive. The slightly odd part is that she is also submissive, so she’s a sweet and loving dominant to me. She’s never mean about it. I feel incredibly lucky that my wife is so willing to indulge me. I’m guessing there are many cuckolds out there that aren’t in a situation where they can share their desires and my heart goes out to them.
Thank you for this comment. I have been considering a cuckold relationship with a man that I have fallen deeply for and this was wonderful to read.
Congrats that you lasted 20yrs. She undoubtedly loves you very much. But there is a danger!!!! When or if she finds that special “bull” who becomes a “boy friends”. What can happen an”attachment” is started and they fall “in love”This is called a “triangle”and never works for long. Someone is this triangle WILL get hurt!!!!
I have a hard time calling my husband a cuckold although our relationship does fit into what people consider a cuckold marriage. That is: I have sex with other men but my husband is completely faithful to me. No, I don’t go around screwing just any guy but there have been a few.
The first was about five years into marriage. Our sex life had become very, very boring. As for me, I was out there growing up. I had my first sexual experiences very young and very often. My husband was raised in a very traditional family and he was very closely watched by his mom to keep him away from bad girls or ones that just wanted his sperm. How I slipped by I don’t know, maybe it was because I was very good at acting like this sweet innocent. At least until she caught me giving him a blow job. Somehow I convinced her he talked me into it and I only did it because I loved him and didn’t want to lose him. A few tears helped.
I didn’t tell her I actually had probably sucked a dozen or so before her sweet baby boy had stuck his in my mouth. Actually I had just done another guy the night before. That brings that up. I was not at all faithful to my husband during our dating. He of course had no idea.
Anyway, back to our marriage and the first time I had sex with another guy in front of my husband. It was after a party, not too wild but I did see a few couples use some bedrooms. I really was getting horny and wanted to see what that swinging thing was all about but we had one big problem: my husband is really not all that good in bed. I love him but he has no imagination and compared to most men I have been with not all that well equipped and he knows it.
He does give GREAT head though. He is better at that than any other guy I have been with but sometimes a girl has to have something big, hard and get it rough and nasty. That brings in Tom. He is an ass. Yes, an ass and a womanizer a player whatever but he is an extremely good bang. He was at the party alone, he had just broken up with a friend of mine mostly because he had played around and once or twice with me.
He was drunk as Tom usually is so my husband being the really good guy he is offered to drive him home. Tom passed out on the way and could not tell my husband where he lived. I could have but how would I explain that one away? We took him home and put him to bed. Didn’t want him sleeping in our clean sheets in pants so I unbuckled them and my husband pulled off his shoes and pulled the pants at the cuffs. Of course this bit thing fell out of his boxers and surprisingly it was hard!
My husband just stared, I didn’t know what to do so I reached over and pulled it back into his boxers. I looked up at husband and his eyes where huge! We walked back into the bedroom and got undressed. We laid there, my husband was very aroused and asked what if felt like to touch that thing? We talked more and that is when he admitted to being turned on thinking about me screwing other guys. I was getting so hot about this time it didn’t take me but a moment to say: Honey if you want me to go in there and fuck him so you could watch just say so!
He didn’t answer but by now I just wanted it. I knew you could wake Tom up dead drunk and fuck him. I had done it but hubby didn’t need to know. I got up and walked out the bedroom and down the hall. I put my hand on the doorknob and turned so hoping hubby followed me. He did but if he hadn’t I don’t know if I could have stopped.
I walked in and Tom was still out. I sat next to him, pulled his cock out, took one last look at husband and sucked it. After that I almost forgot husband was in the room. I on top and at the end under Tom who has no problem screwing in front of other people. Finally after several very good orgasms, helped of course by knowing I would not have to screw behind my husbands back anymore, I fell off Tom and looked over at my husband. He was sitting there with his pants down and cum all over himself. He had masturbated watching us!
Usually he is done after cumming once but after we got back to our bedroom he wanted to screw. I let him but after Tom it was a bit of a let down. He did cum quick again and then again in the morning. We got up and Tom was gone. I was going to pull the sheets off and wash them but my husband told me to leave them on so we could make love in the same spot. That I thought was a bit creepy but hell, he just gave me the OK the screw other men so what the hell.
I became a cuckold long before I knew about it. After ten years of marriage I began to notice a sudden change in my wife. Dressing more sexy and being a bit evasive at times. I also noticed how happy she had been lately and how our sex life had picked up.
I was to be out of town for a few days for work. A cab took me to the airport and I flew out. As soon as I got there I found out everything was cancelled. I got on a flight late and decided not to call. A cab took me home and as soon as I walked in I knew something was off. The music was still playing and a couple of glasses where on the table next to the couch. Then I noticed a pair of men’s shoes tucked under the table. Much too big to be mine.
I walked towards our bedroom but long before I got to the door I could hear them. She is never quite having sex but I had never heard her that loud. I just looked thru the open door and there she was, riding him with her back to me. She is good on top and when she gets going she does not stop until she finishes.
I just stood there, I could clearly see his erection sliding in and out of her. I could also clearly see he did not have a condom on. I should have yelled and stopped them but I just froze. I knew she was almost there but the only thought I had was is he going to cum in her? Of course she did and then he did and he was not quite about it.
I had no idea who it was inside my wife until I looked over at the pile of clothes on the chair. Instantly I knew, it was this guy down the street. I had even seen him wearing that stuff as I left that day for the airport. He was much younger than me. He was even ten years younger than my wife! And he was known in the neighborhood as being a bit of a man slut.
I stepped away and leaned back against the wall out of sight. What was I going to do? Confront them and get angry? I knew punching him was out of the question, he was in very good shape and much bigger than me. I could hear them talking and my wife asking if he wanted a beer. It took a few seconds for it to register but she was going to have to walk right past me! I walked to the office in the room next to our bedroom.
There is a door between the two and when she came back I could hear them very clearly. She was giggling and then it got quite. I very carefully opened the door a crack and she was on top of him again kissing. Her hips where moving in a slow grinding motion making her breasts sway back and forth.
This is when I began to get aroused. I reached down and rubbed myself thru my pants. I was ashamed and confused but could not help myself. I pulled it out and my pants dropped to the floor. I must have been a sight, a husband peeping thru a crack in the door masturbating while his wife was screwing another man.
I shot in a few seconds blowing all over the door. Of course the guilt and shame washed over me at once. I pulled my pants up and didn’t even bother to zip them. I stopped at our home bar and grabbed a bottle. I went outside and into my workshop and got drunk. I woke the next morning laying on my workbench with an empty bottle and feeling sick as hell.
I went in and found them laying naked on the bed. Now even thru the fog and sickness of my hangover I began to get aroused again. She had her arms around him and I could see he was erect under the sheets. I could also understand why she enjoyed him so much, he was well endowed.
I grabbed another bottle and headed back to the workshop and masturbated, got drunk and passed out again. That is how she found me later that day.
We had talk after talk and she promised never to cheat again. Now my fantasies all revolve around watching her screw other me. A few days ago I admitted that to her and told her what I had done that night, masturbated watching her. I think she lost all respect for me, she called me a pervert and told me I needed help.
Last night she did not come home and I know she is out with another man.
Our relationship has always been very honest. We tell each other everything, life goals, joys and fears. I was single and he was divorced before we got married. After a couple of years, finally more of our previous love life came up. I told him I had a three of previous relationship and they were all passing fancies. It was actually 12 or 15, I just thought three would make him feel better. Then I asked him. He was shy at first but he told me that he had 5 previous girlfriends and of course his ex-wife. He told me everything. His honesty just poured out. He said that all his previous girlfriends and his first wife cheated and relatively openly. I was shocked. He seemed to need to tell me more so I asked him to be specific. So he told me every detail of his cheating girlfriends and ex-wife, a very hot large-breasted redhead, who I knew before I married him. I saw her with other men in bars and at a private house party with a tall, well built, well as they say tall, dark and handsome man who was a bass player in a very popular local jazz band. I was really amazed and really curious. So I asked more about them and how they accomplished their escapades. I even asked him to tell me how he felt about it. I really did not need to ask. It was obvious considering how turned on he got relating it all. Is this normal? Funny thing is that his story really got to me too. Does he want me to be like them and cheat too? The thing is, I would never leave him. I think it would be great to have someone to willingly approve of my sexual independence.
Lucky Wife, Always assure him that you love him and no one could ever come between you and him. Discuss with him if it would really benefit your marriage if you were given more freedom. Make sure that he knows that he is in control of your newly found freedom and he would have to approve who and how often you would receive your sessions. My experiences are almost exactly like yours. My husband kept pushing for this change in our marriage until I reluctantly agreed. The first session, I was very nervous yet strangely excited, I had only been with one man before my husband. He did not watch and was not present but I had to tell every detail. It has been 3 years since that first time and he still loves it and truthfully, I also love this style of marriage. Our marriage is stronger than ever and I am careful to praise him and thank him everytime for making me the happiest wife ever. I have some feelings for a couple of the men but for the most part they are only for my sexual needs. In 3 years I have had 11 men, most younger and the last 8 were picked by me. This type of lifestyle can totally improve a marriage and my self confidence has skyrocketed. I now workout 4 times a week and try hard to be as attractive as possible. It can work for you!
[…] woman while the husband watches is usually a stranger, though not always. The anonymous aspect is a major turn on for some couples, and also serves to avoid any possibility of emotional attachment forming. Another reason, is that […]
When my girl friend, now my wife, confess she suck the pennis (and sperm) of her ex boy friend several times, while dating with me, I was so excited that asked her, several times, to describe the scene, the size of the pennis (bigger than mine, according her), how many times per date, how good was to swollen the sperm. From this day on, we fantasy I was the former boy friend while fucking her from behind and our pleasure increased a lot. At certain point, excitation was such I openned the doors for her to fuck him, with my presence or even without, if she compromises to tell me later all details. I even offer all facilities (clothes, shoes, lingeries, spa treatment) for her to be as beautiful and sexy as possible to fuck with the guy, even allowing her to have a honeymoon trip. I told her that, once started, she will be the dominant fator in our relationship and she will be in conditions to have as much sexual pleasure as possible. At this time, she refused as the does not want to put our marriage, which is very good, on risk. The former boy friend pass away and now she regret, when we are in our fantasy, why she did not accept my proposal…..
I’m a married, submissive crossdresser. My wife knows of my crossdressing, but does not participate or encourage. I keep my body and legs smooth shaven, and would love my wife encouraging, better still, ordering me to wear sheer nylons on a regular basis, seeing as I keep my legs so feminine. She might even tease me about my crossdressing, calling me her feminine husband, and “husband bitch”. Thus; I would enjoy her in a dominant role in our marriage. I’ve also always had the fantasy of her flirting with, and being in an intimate relationship with another man. I’ve had this fantasy and desire since before we were married, but never found a way to tell her. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t love her, and didn’t think she could be open-minded or accepting enough to include this in our marriage. I’ve had so many thoughts and fantasies with my crossdressing that she’d never accept, and loose respect for me. She’s one great woman. Too little; too late I suppose!
I’ve always been curious about cuckold marriages. My wife knew I was a crossdresser before we were married. She does not participate or encourage me in any way. I keep my body and legs smooth shaven, and would love for my wife to encourage, even better, order me to wear sheer nylons on a regular basis for her inspection, seeing as I keep my legs so feminine. She could also tease me about my crossdressing, calling me her feminine, “bitch husband”. Thus; I would enjoy a dominant side to her nature. Also; I’ve always had thoughts and fantasies of my wife openly flirting with other men, and having an intimate relationship with another man. I’ve had these thoughts and feelings since before we were married, but could never tell her, as I didn’t want her to think I didn’t love her. Also; I didn’t think she could be open-minded or accepting enough to include this in our marriage. Maybe too little; too late.
I enjoyed reading this thread and gaining knowledge. It seems cuckolding is its current form is rarely a cut and dry situation and some couples have found it as a hot benefit to their sex life while for others it does not work.
I have had fantasies of my wife getting pleasured by other men. Idk why, my back ground does have a considerable amount of porn I was probably considered an addict at some point. I have had a lot of sex in my younger days with many women as well. My performance is not what it used to be and I do not get horny as often and have become a short timer but I get horny thinking of non-traditional things and her getting fucked by a big hard cock and me watching or participating. I have a conservative Asian wife who is understanding I am not great at sex anymore. I talk about it with her sometimes as I’m fondling her or we are having sex and she does seem to get a little wet at the thought. I tell her mmm wouldn’t like a big hard one to fuck you good so you can cum all over it. I think if I knew someone clean and good looking that we could do it with and never see again she might try it but for now its just talk.
It is a very complex fetish. I was in a wife sharing relationship for 5 years. We both were from conservative families and we went from best friends in high school to college lovers to marriage in 3 short years. We had We had 4 children by the time we were 28. Our sex life waned as my wife (not blaming her – how she was raised) became the 1950’s mom. We loved being mom and dad but we lost us. Everything we did was centered around the children. I went from the guy that swept her off her feet to the “Dad”. When we had sex it was great sex but we would go 3,4,5 months with no sexual relationship. I would get frustrated she felt pressure. What was wrong? I was in great shape and I am not lacking down under…. Maybe I just didn’t do it for her anymore.
10 years into our marriage and 4 children later we went on a cruise. 7 days no kids no contact with the outside world. I found my best friend again and fantasies were shared. Surprisingly one of her recurring fantasies was a threesome with 2 men. My fantasy had become “if she could have the ultimate sexual experience she would be more interested in sex”… to me a woman with two men would be her ultimate experience.
For the next 10 years we grew to depend on that fantasy and it grew branches until it almost became the focal point of our sex life. IT was the catalyst to our sex life. When our fantasy sharing time was strong we communicated like song birds but otherwise it was the same old same old.
We eventually decided to act on it. I was surprised because it was her idea to take it from fantasy to reality. “We have to do this or it is going to drive us crazy” was her opening sentence when we met for lunch. I thought I knew what she was talking about but I played it cool. She was serious.
To make a long story short. We tried it and there were failures and successful adventures. When we were starting out it was bliss. We were communicating so well. We had our rules. We had our code words for Yes and No when we met guys. All IM’s were recorded. Completely open communication. We were so very happy. The problem was that we associated the “act of sharing her” with this new found joy. Looking back the joy was due to the one mindedness and communication.
It really was fun for a few years but it became a task to find the perfect bull. It consumes a lot of energy. You have to plan get aways. You have kids to consider and the exciting new secret you share and enjoy inside jokes…. can become a burden. That is what happened to us. This can cause you to continually SEEK for that ultimate experience or “Bull”.
As it became more of a task than a thrill we fell back into our old uncommunicative ways. If I saw her talking to a guy I would jump to “Is he a candidate?” If I wanted to take her away for a weekend … just us… she starting thinking… does he have something up his sleeve? Communication failure. We became the stereotypical couple I have read about that take part in this activity. She felt “how could someone that truly loved me let me have sex with another man”. I was “I love her so much that I want her to feel free to express this side of her with out guilt”.
We are separated and I don’t know where this will end. I still love her like I did 30 years ago. We’ve both had relationships and this sharing theme has not been in my head at all. I do admit it pops in my head from time to time when I think about my wife… but I would never pursue it again. We are still great friends. BUT this secret hangs over my head. WHAT IF… is always there. What if we wouldn’t have done this… WHAT IF she says something to someone. The Wife Sharing – Cuckold adventures didn’t cause our marriage to fail but it was a factor. I can’t say every couple falls into this category but if you are thinking about it or if you are in it. Be sure it is not nor does it become THE CENTER PIECE of your marriage. If it does you could end up with a world of regret. Regret is far worse than uncomfortable feeling forcing yourself to have that conversation that you KNOW you need to have even when you don’t want to.
[…] článek vyšel v anglickém orginálne na stránce https://www.sexpert.com/sexadvice/cuckold-relationships/ pod názvem Cuckold Realationships a autorkou je Dr. Dawn […]
I am sitting here this morning trying to sort out my feelings. We have been married for five years and up until a year ago had what I thought a good sex life. I know I was spending way too much time at work but I was moved up in the company which meant a lot more money but a lot more commitment.
Long hours and a lot of weekend work really drained me.
A few months ago I came home late on a Friday and my wife had left a not saying she was going out with some of her friends. I was sort of relieved, all I wanted was to stuff some food down and hit a couple of shots and then bed.
It didn’t take me very long to crash and when I woke very early the next morning I reached over to where she was supposed to be but that side was empty. I got up and looked at my phone, she had texted that she had drank too much and was staying at a friends house that night.
OK, well I hit the app that showed where she was just to make sure she had gotten there safely. Truly at that time I suspected nothing. Funny but it showed that she was miles away in a place I did not recognize. Worried I thought I would just drive by and see. I got in my car and went to where my phone showed.
I say early and I mean early. It was around 3 am and the streets where very deserted. I pulled up to the house and realized it was another of her friends. Curious I began to walk up the the front door and then I heard music coming from the back. I figured they where all out in the back yard drinking and talking.
I had been to a party here once and knew where the side gate was. I walked thru and before I could see anyone I heard male laughter. I peeked around the corner and the firs thing I saw was this guy getting out of the pool naked followed by my wife also naked.
I leaned against the side of the house in disbelief. It was dark where I was and there was even a light shining towards them so there was no chance of them seeing me. The naked guy had an erection and my wife walked up to him and grabbed it. The other women where making comments and laughing. My wife said something like come with me and she actually pulled the guy by his penis into the house.
A moment later a light came on in one of the bedrooms on my side of the house. I guess this would have been the time to storm in there and stop it? I went to that window and pressed my ear against it. I could not see in but I could hear everything. I knew they where screwing and I could tell my wife was really into it. She is never quite but now she was exceptionally vocal.
All of a sudden I realized I was erect. I pulled it out and began to stroke it. As they went harder at it I got more and more turned on and finally I shot all over the side of the house. Immediately I felt the guilt and shame wash over me. I dropped to my knees and puked as silently as I could. Fortunately the music was loud enough to cover.
I went out to my car and drove home. I went into our bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I had seen cuckold movies and stuff but never really considered it. I always thought I would be too jealous and way too insecure. I was but I was also turned on in a way I didn’t understand.
I looked down at my pants and notice that some of my jerk didn’t make it to the wall, I had shot some on myself. I pulled them off and into the hamper. I then stripped and looked at myself, yes he was a lot better looking than me, he had a much nicer toned body and while his dick wasn’t that much bigger it looked super hard.
I decided I needed a stiff one, that was the last time I ever refereed to a shot as a stiff one. Every time I thought of that phrase since I thought of his stiff one and what it had done to her. As soon as I poured it I heard her drive up, I quickly went into the bedroom and turned the lights out. I listened as she went into the shower, all the time thinking of her naked body being washed clean of another mans sweat and semen. I wondered, did they use a condom or did he just pump her full of his juices not caring if they put a baby in another man’s wife?
Again I got aroused. This time the shame came with it but not enough to stop it. I resisted the urge to masturbate but the erection stayed. I downed another shot as I had brought the bottle with me. She finished and I expected her to come into the bedroom. I waited but everything got quite so I carefully opened the door. I went down the hall and to the spare room. The door was open so I looked in, there was just enough light to see she was in bed. I wondered, was she dreaming of the man she had just fucked or me?
So don’t keep us hanging, let us know what happened
I think that it’s odd (and telling) that nobody sees the part of this that is about 1 or 2 people being satisfied and turned on by the humiliation of another person. I do realize that it’s not for any person to get into the mind/heart of another person and think they know what’s going on inside. I do realize that. However, this is different, and I believe a psychologically healthy person can readily see this. A person’s basic instinct is to want to preserve their basic sense of self-dignity. When someone actually “loves” another person it is beyond consideration to want to cause them humiliation. These wives do not love their husbands. They love themselves and their own enjoyment and sincerely try (and succeed) to convince themselves, through rationalizing, that there is love in cuckolding. They get to be wild and sexually free WITH the security of marriage. (There’s some saying about having cake and getting to eat it too.) But the basic fact remains that she gets all of this at the expense of another person that they claim to love, (and just want to please). I guess an argument can be made that there is an element of sociopathy or psychopathy in this. But it is clearly not love.
Now one can reply that the husband wants this, asks for it, and enjoys the humiliation. I won’t discuss the diagnosis of the psychological disorder that causes a person to want to be humiliated, but ask yourself this: If you found your teenage cutting their arms, legs, body and tells you that it makes them feel better and then asks you to do it for them (maybe in hard to reach places), would you rationalize cutting your child just because they say it feels better and they want it? The teen is clearly suffering from something and uses cutting as an unhealthy way to relieve the pain – quite understandable, yet clearly indicative of a psychological pathology that requires help, not patronizing their unhealthy behavior. No parent needs to be told this. It’s obviously because they love their child, and love won’t/can’t do this. They will sympathize with the pain but would never go so far as to join them and encourage this behavior. That’s human nature. But I know that rationalizing bad behavior is also human nature.
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I have wondered if cuckolding maybe a form of self “graduated exposure therapy”..which means.. type of behavior therapy used in the field of psychology to help effectively overcome phobias and other anxiety disorders. More specifically, it is a form of counter conditioning, a type of Pavlovian therapy developed by South African psychiatrist, Joseph Wolpe…like preparing one’s self for the worst..and in our minds we think we are in control?
Be careful what you wish for. I watched my GF get ravaged by a hung guy. He had 10″ and very thick. She’s very attractive, tight , petite 5’1. She screamed and cried when he first entered her, just the head got in. After about 5 minutes of slow penetration, he managed to get it all in. Her pain turned to pleasure. She came many times. He hit some virgin deep spots in her.
He pounded her all night long, ravaged her with all he had, all in front of me.
My gf isn’t that tight anymore, she now longs for deep penetration and raw pounding.
I’m still feeling very jealous, scared but turned on. While my gf cries sometimes asking why I let this guy with huge cck fck her and now she’s addicted to his c*ck .
I asked her if she’ll do it again. She said yes and no. Yes coz the orgasms were very intense, it rippled through her whole body. Deep spot orgasms are intense. No, because she knows I feel very jealous and hurt.
She asked me if I was ok, I said yes.
My boyfriend is a bull and was the bull for many married couples before we met. He has this urge to see me fucked by another man, which I’ve never had a threesome before but I am ready to do it. I want to know what more can I do to really please my boyfriend who plays the dominant to other married couples? I want to keep that spark alive and I am ok with getting adventurous, but I need specifics since I have never been exposed to this type of world.
Women are designed for more than one man.
When the man climaxes he is spent for awhile or even for the night but a woman can climax over and over again and can be as hot as before. She needs another man to fill in during the recovery of the first male.
I don’t consider myself a cuckold I am more of a voyeur.
I most certainly am NOT a sissy and definitely NOT into humiliation and totally straight. I am confident enough to share my woman and I want my woman happy and satisfied. As long as she can separate love from sex all is good. I can be exclusively hers if she desires.
You lucky bastard!!
Hi l am happy married wife and mother and a normal woman who has worked for the same company for over 20 years in different locations that mainly employs women and let me tell you that it very common for women to talk to each other about how they would love to be able to experience the joy and excitement of having unprotected sex with other men other than their husband or partner but afraid to openly bring up and discuss this with anyone as they afraid they will be judge harshly for their thoughts or desires.
They do truly love their husbands but just want something different and variety at times while still knowing that they have the security of knowing that their loyal, living and faithful husbands or partners will still be at home waiting for them after they feel the excitement and enjoyment of another sex partner or partners.
I too also have had these thoughts and desires . I started to think about it after I had been married for 12 years in 2009. . Over time these desires got to me so behind my husband back in 2011 I started my first of 4 affairs with 1 of the male managers at my work , which was great until the first time his wife found out at that time she did not know who I was and he called it off for almost 3 months which was hard until about the 10 week mark when each of us where just about raping each other when we where alone and realized that we both want to make each other feel special. I will be honest I badly missed the feeling of him inside of me and that warm special feeling of him cumming in me. We continued the affair again for a number of months until he slipped up again . That is when his wife packed up the children and moved from Brisbane and moved back to her parents at Tweed Heads. He put in for a company transfer and got it after 2 weeks when he took an assistant manager position to be closer to his wife and children. So that was the end of that first enjoyable experience.
Over the next 18 months I did have 3 one night affairs when I had the opportunity. Then in 2013 while doing a short fill in role at another company location I meet another manager who I liked but after 3 weeks I ended it as he was a pig of man in bed. He did take me out a number of times for so called company dinnners and spoil me which I enjoyed. I did think at times about what would happen if my loving husband found out but my excitement and enjoyment was my highest priority. So by the end of 2013 I had experienced the enjoyment of 5 other partners.
Than again over the next 18 months I did not have any other sex partners I would often think about others especially when my husband would make love to me. I found I would climax much quicker and harder if would close my eyes and pretend someone else was making me feel special.
Than in 2015 I started to tell a couple of my work colleagues about my thoughts and what I had done previously over a couple months. While I had discussed my thoughts before to others at work and they would also tell me about how they had the same thoughts and desires I did keep to myself the details of affairs . I did find a new close friend who talked me into and helped me start a new affair with a customer who had taken my eye. She was great who would help me by covering for me with my husband. This lasted from July 2015 until October 2015 until a close family friend who was coaching a sporting team with my husband and had coached all 3 of my boys over the years started to take a mutual interest in me. So I ended this relationship which did not go down real well with other lover at the time . But hey this friend seemed a better catch.
By the end of November my husband started to asked me about my relationship with this friend. Naturally I lied which was a mistake and he asked me outright 6 times until the last day of February 2016 when unfortunately the truth came out and did it hit the fan as they say
It took a great deal to rebuild my relationship with my husband and boys plus many friends and family as my lover left me high and dry. My husband forgave me for the sex but still to this day the trust has been hard to rebuild.
Naturally even today I will see another man and think about what he would feel like and how would he make me feel.
So my plan is to rebuild the trust with my husband again but next time play the game smarter. Next time I will slowly tell him about my thoughts and desires. Promise to be open and honest and tell him everything as I do miss having sex with others.
I do truly love my loyal, loviyand faithful husband and could not imagine my life without him . He is my rock . I just want to have sex with others whenever the desire happens. The most enjoyable sex with my husband over the last 6 almost 7 years was when we made love just after I arrived home after just being with a lover. He would comment on how wet I was . Extra lube always except for the second affair felt good receiving . I want to experience that again like a lot of women do but are to afraid Tobe open and honest about.
So guys married or in a long term relationship if your wife or lover brings these thoughts and desires up run with it and enjoy the experience.
Remember Happy Wife Happy Life! Also A Caring Husband Is A Sharing Husband
I love the idea of my wifey having sex with another. I’d love to watch, but the idea of them hooking up is cool just on its own. Three things tho…..
1) I have ZERO issues with my penis. It’s average.
2) I don’t want my wife to cheat on me.
3) I do NOT want to be humiliated at all.
I’m also a top. As far as the guy goes, I want him to be pretty good looking, regular size, good in bed, whatever gets her off. I’m not worried about him being better than me, or that she’ll leave me. Its just a really hot idea to me. We are in an open, and I’ve brought plenty of girls home for her to watch us, and she feels the same way I do about her (cuckqueen).
hot!!!!!!!!!!
I understand a cuck because I am one if I assume but the terminology displayed here. I am a type –A guy to the max from spec-ops to firefighter but in bed I can’t be dominant. I have to be submissive since my life outside of bed is dominant. We have been in a super marriage in love and financially for 12 years. I worked for Blackwater security for 2 years post military and the pay you would not believe so we are secure. I want my wife happy in all areas. About 4 years ago we were at a slump in our sex life. It didn’t help since many years I was gone for 13 months at a time. I may be very athletic but down there I am small; not I think so but by the numbers. I have no control over my size…years at the gym will not make it bigger. I was coming home tired but she is a nurse at a trauma center and has a stressful job also.
I noticed she was taking a shower before we went to bed if she had been out. I would kiss her and day good night! It became more frequent and our sex life wasn’t as good. My specialty was oral and fingers and we used a vibe. She always got off by orgasms. One night I was awake and horny and she came to bed and I was able to slip 3 fingers in her which is unusual but I said little. We cuddled! One night while lovemaking we got heavily into it and she blurted out I wish you were thicker. I am struggling to get off! As time we on I knew she was having another guy but for some reason I didn’t care.
One weekend I was supposed to go to the state fire academy and teach Dive water rescue but turned out there wasn’t enough for a class so I came home. I discovered my wife in bed with a friend from her work and I didn’t disturb but watched. I kept hearing your so much bigger and she was aggressive with the wording of F***K me like your B***H! my hubby has a baby dick then she called it a clit… that was new. I was submissive in bed but we had not got that far! Her b/f did well.. the bed was soaking! I went to the shop and he left and as soon as he did I made my entrance. She was shocked and apologetic. I told her I didnt care..she was right..mine is small but not much I could do for that! I told her I was tired from the drive I had to lay down and she asked to change the sheets and I told her I didn’t care. I went to her drawer and slipped on a pair of her panties and replied since I have a clit you said maybe I need to wear panties. I have worn ever since!
I don’t know if we are kinkier than others but mine fits well in panties. She is allowed 2 dates a month and our sex life has improved. I am not a norm person and never have been. I do get excited on the days prior to her date. I make sure she is totally shaven and when she returns I wish to know every detail. I get oral in return to each his own
I have been checking out some of your articles and i can claim nice stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your website.
For reproduction, women are biologically made to have multiple partners. Male sperm is made up of sperm that can fertilise an egg and sperm that fight off other mens’ sperm. The sperm of the man who is most likely to create a healthy baby with a woman will stay around her cervix for several days, defending against other mens’ sperm.
I think that this aspect of female sexuality explains, in part, why men have evolved to try and control women and how, eventually, male dominated society has tried to suppress female sexuality.
Many men (and women) simply choose to ignore biology and adhere to monogamy. Many people remain ignorant of infidelity. Some accept sexual desire as normal and choose swinging, within agreed boundaries.
Some men instinctively understand their wifes’ desires but feel ashamed about either giving their blessing to their wife to have other partners or feel inadequate.
To hand all control over to the wife is one way these feelings of shame or inadequacy are expressed and fetishised.
I.m single49 years old, looking for a real cuckold relationship.
Dr. Michaels; I truly enjoy your advice post.
I’m a submissive, married crossdresser; and although she knows of my dressing; she does not participate or encourage me in any way. I wish she could be more positive of my feminine side; and show some encouragement.
In return; I would most certainly be open to her seeing other men; and having an intimate; even sexual relationship with a “Real Man” of her choice. I’ve had these feelings and thoughts since before we were married; however; I could never think of a way to tell her; as I didn’t want her to think I didn’t love her. Also; I didn’t think she could be open-minded or understanding enough th have kind of a cuckold marriage, where she had the freedom to see other men.
Maybe too little; too late.
In my case I do have a very small (3″) penis. From the first time I had sex with my wife (before we were married), I knew she did not orgasm. I knew she had had other men before me and it bothered me that they had satisfied her and I could not. My wife said that did not matter and that she loved me. But that did not stop her from having a sexual relationship with another man. When I realized I was sharing her I asked her about it. She said that it had nothing to do with the love she felt for me. She admitted that her lover did give her orgasms.
Now I was a cuckold in fact! My choice was to accept it. But, it made me feel inadequate and less like a man.
I began wearing panties. I stopped trying to have sex with her. She saw m in my panties and said I was a sissy.
That led me to have sex with a man. My wife found out about that and called me a fag. Our love slipped away and she filed for divorce. Now single, I do not know where to turn. I feel like a Bi sexual man and I thoroughly enjoy sex with the men I have had sex with. Am I gay?
14 April 2019.
Dr Dawn Michael:
There could also be an aspect of (Positive) Cuckoldry than is non-abusive and is a warm loving relationship.
For approximately 4 years I had a relationship with a woman (GF) who also had other lovers. She had gone out with another man and we had often spoken of the travails she had. At some point she left him and a little later we began an open relationship. I told her that I simply did not care if she had others. So she had 2 lovers. Me, one night. Him. The next. It was wonderful. I even got to babysit her child while she was out with him. That relationship ended and she only had one lover. Me.
She met another man and informed him that she would go out with him, but that she has another. He accepted that. We met a couple of months later. Sometimes I would babysit her child when they went out.
I had known her for at least 5 years and had a kind of uncle relationship with her child. So it was close.
She moved in with him, with the proviso that I was still in her (sexual) life and that of her child. She would come to my house to sleep with me and return to him the next day. It all changed one night when I was at their home late in the evening so she made the spare bedroom for me. They went into the main bedroom.
I could hear them having sex. My room was cold. After they finished I went to the door and asked if I could join them in the large bed and the room was warmer.
She said to her other lover that she was going to have sex with me. So we did. That began it. I would often come over and we would all end up in the same bed. She would have us both have sex with her. Often she would have sex with us 4 times a day. 2 weeks in a row with us was no problem.
We settled into a pattern where I would be at their home quite often and I would babysit her child. I eventually became his GodFather. Our sexual relationship continued. She was happy (but tired) to have 2 lovers many days of the week.
The 3 of us became like a wife with 2 husbands. It was OK with me.
Having 2 men taking care of her sexual needs was so gentle and relaxing. No worries about coming too quickly or being too tired to have sex. It was exciting watching them have sex and she would signal the other when she was ready after fucking the first man. It became fun when she would say things like “Lemme know the first one of you to get hard.” or “Do you two want a quickie before you go to work?”
Having two husbands really takes the pressure off. And I really liked taking care of her child. So a little bit of Positive Cuckoldry. We liked watching each other. We didn’t mind “waiting our turn”. Waiting and watching for our turn made us hornier too. So I guess this is Positive Cuckoldry. 14Apr19.
I have wanted a cuck relationship with my wife for a long time. I actually convinced her to hook up with a guy that she was definitely attracted to. They got together on 5 different occasions and I was so hot and excited every time. She has since decided married women shouldn’t do something like this and refuses to see him or anyone else. I am so dissapointed.
These cuckhold men seem weak and pathetic…you can be a good lover, no matter what penis size you have.
A lot of small/ average endowed men have plenty of staying power and are masculine and not submissive and do not wish to be dominated by women or anyone.
Congratulations for a well written article that is obviously founded on your professional experience. When we married my wife was catholic, conservative latina and I was a man whose three previous significant girl friends had all cheated on me. We were both 28.
Although I was shocked by being cheated on I also admittedly recognised that it had caused me incredible sexual arousal.
Over the next years both and i and my wife opened up more and more about our previous relationships and as not only our love deepened and became more mature, we trusted each other more and more and found the confidence of talking about outside the bedroom during long, deep factual conversations.
I learned that my wife had a previous relationship with a man that was 10 years older than her, that they had kissed, made out but never we fully intimate and that they even got to the point where the planned to get married. But one day her future husband simply disappeared and the following weeks and months my wife bit by bit learned that her future husband was gay and was in a relationship with his business partner. He never came out as openly gay and under the social pressures had decided to enter into a sham marriage to present a “normal” facade of a married man to the outside world, mainly his wider friends and social circle. Luckily he had reconsidered in the last moment and done a runner.
I also learned that the only sex she had ever experienced was being raped during a private appointment by the family doctor.
Sex between us was really great from the very first moment and we were made for each other and this has not changed throughout our entire marriage.
So I told her about my experiences, what my previous girl friends had done and I also opened up about my feelings and excitement.
We continued to tell and she was very quick to pick up on my arousal every time I told the story or relived the experience with her during our moments of passionate love-making.
I also confessed that I would love for her to be with another man, provided that it would be controlled in so far that this man should be someone who we both respected, that she would like to be with him and enjoy their sexual union, we both would get to choose, agree and even though we both admitted that we could not control all aspects and that there probably would be surprises along the way, perhaps even experiences that we felt did not go as we imagined, but in the end we would be above all that and it would just enhance our lust towards each other and whatever happened it would not affect our relationship. In our words, if it was good we would both enjoy this, if it wasn’t just put it down to experience, wipe the slate clean and continue.
We have now been married for 37 years and during this time my wife has had 7 long term lovers and a number of “holiday flings” – it is surprising how being on holiday, always makes both of us feeling sexually more adventurous and perhaps that fact that we are away from home, the anonimous surroundings that provide us a freedom of spirit attitude has led to a more promiscuous behaviour and has led to encounters and ensuing experiences that we could only comment with “Wow”, the next day, the next weeks and when we were back home.
Now we are both 65 and about 2 years ago my wife has decided that she was going to “retire” from the “lifestyle”. I understood and we both with all our love accepted that we had truly enjoyed the unorthodox part of our husband/wife relationship. I understood that as a woman she no longer wanted to continue and that from now on sex would be between us only. We still fairly regularly enjoy sensual and prolongued erotic activities, there is so much more than just intercourse and our relationship is great and will be until our final days. I can honestly say that my sexual fantasies and wished have been more than fulfilled and we both treasure our libertine memories.
One aspect seems important to both of us that our relationship was always based on mutual agreement, never on any pressure from either of us, the moment one of us felt uncomfortable and said so, we both accepted this without discussions and pulled away from whatever was going on at that moment.
Both my wife and I still talk about and indulge in arousing memories of reliving the moments with some of her most appreciated long term partners: two of these relationships lasted for more than 10 years, these two gentlemen became real friends, they even knew each other for a while, as one was a lot more mature than us, a widower who also was an intellectual mentor to us until he passed away and the other, the same age as us, continued being our friend and my wife’s lover until we all accepted that my wife’s desire to have a lover other than her husband had come to an end. Even though, this gentleman is still our friend and we see him more or less regularly.
So just an account from a couple who at the start of their marriage had not agreed to an open relationship or similar arrangement but clearly previous experiences have formed and characterised our sexual identity.
Would be interesting to hear serious comments and what other readers think.