Monday, March 9, 2026

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.

Sexpert Panel: INTIMATE COMMUNICATION: with Special Guest: Dr. Emily Morse

Our Next Sexpert Panel hosted & sponsored by Loveology University® is Wednesday, June 23, 2021 @ 12PM Pacific Time!

Come Join Us!

INTIMATE COMMUNICATION: Before, During and After Lovemaking (with Special Guest: Dr. Emily Morse)

Also Featuring:

Wednesday, June 23, 2021 @ 12PM Pacific Time

Sponsored by:

Our Panelists Are:
Dr. Ava Cadell, Dr. Emily Morse, Dr. Shannon Chavez, Carol & David, Dr. Megan Stubbs, Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, Dr. Hernando Chaves

What You Can Expect:

The Sexpert Panel will talk candidly, as if you were meeting face to face over drinks and discuss fully and openly the most intimate details of topics you are interested in.

Best of all, renowned Sexperts will share their wisdom to help ease your concerns, lower your inhibitions and transport you to sexual empowerment.. 

DON’T MISS OUT ON OUR RAFFLE!

One lucky attendee will be chosen to win Loveology University’s Certified Relationship Coach Program. A winner will be chosen at random at the end of the event. You must be in attendance to claim the prize.

Don’t miss it! Sign up here!

Meet our Moderator and Panelists

MODERATOR
Dr. Ava Cadell, Clinical Sexologist, Author & Founder of LoveUniv.com

Free Gift To All Attendees: Communication Course on LoveUniv.com

Dr. Ava is a Clinical Sexologist and AASECT Certified Sex Counselor, author of eleven books and global speaker (who has travelled to four continents giving lectures on love, romance, relationships, intimacy and sexuality). Dr. Ava is the founder of Loveology University® providing online training to certify Love Coaches, Relationship Coaches and Master Sexperts through a multimedia platform, with emphasis on loving & healing yourself, physically & emotionally, while accepting others’ sexual practices without moral judgement, through comprehensive distance learning.

Dr. Emily Morse, Sex Therapist, Author & Media Personality

Emily Hope Morse is a sex therapist, author and media personality. She is known for her 2012 recurring reality television appearance in Bravo’s series Miss Advised and a four-year run as guest co-host on the nationally syndicated Loveline Radio Show with Dr. Drew Pinsky.

With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality, Emily Morse, is on a mission to liberate the conversation about sex and pleasure. Over the last 15 years, Morse’s work has made her the best-selling author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight!, a pioneering MasterClass Instructor on Sex and Communication, live SiriusXM radio host and executive producer, and host of the #1 Sexuality podcast on iTunes, Sex With Emily. Morse has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Emily was recently profiled in The New York Times and Forbes. Today, Sex With Emily is the longest-running sex and relationship podcast, and an endeavor that Morse has grown into a thriving media company. SexWithEmily.com

Dr. Megan Stubbs, Clinical Sexologist

Dr. Megan Stubbs holds degrees in Human Sexuality and Biology, Dr. Megan Stubbs is an energetic multi-media savvy Sexologist. She has been building a brand that has sexual wellness, education, and pleasure at the forefront. With her respective degrees in Biology and Human Sexuality, she is able to combine two of her favorite things, science and sex, into a cohesive platform to impact her audience. She is mindful of inclusion and brings a sensitivity to ethnic diversity rooted in her own complex heritage. Her programming is designed to entertain and educate with actionable steps and information the participants can use as soon as they leave. Her first book, Playing Without A Partner: A Single’s Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness, is available now wherever books are sold. She is frequently quoted in national media outlets, writes a column in Playboy, appears on television, speaks on campuses across the nation, and hosts private events around the world.

Dr. Hernando Chaves, MFT

Dr. Hernando Chaves holds a B.A. in Psychology from UCSB, an M.A. in Marital & Family Therapy from USD & a D.H.S. Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the IASHS. He is a licensed MFT in CA specializing in intimacy & relational difficulties, sexual concerns & dysfunctions, plus sexual minority communities (LGBTQ+, BDSM, fetish, sex work, nonmonogamy).

Dr. Chaves is an MFT sexuality graduate school professor at Pepperdine University, a past regional president and board of directors’ member for the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, written/consulted for 14 instructional media sex education projects, including co-host for Penthouse’s Sex Academy instructional series & BaDoinkVR virtual reality sex therapy instructional video, and a contributing author to the International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality.

Dr. Hernando Chaves teamed up with Dr. Ava Cadell to co-host a series of instructional videos called Penthouse Sex Academy on Foreplay, Erotic Massage, Oral Pleasure, Swinging, Anal Pleasure, Masturbation & Sexual Postions

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, Certified Sexuality Counselor

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is a Registered Supervisor & Senior accredited member of the College of Sex and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) in England and a Certified Sexuality Counselor and Approved Training Provider by the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). She is globally known for her contributions to the field of sexual health & relationships at the clinical as well as policy and educational levels. She is the co-author of the award-winning Orgasm Answer Guide and Wheel of Context for Sexuality Education. Her most recent contribution to the field is the Emergent Love model research & the development of a validated Inventory for the holistic assessment of dynamics within a coupledom called Relationship Panoramic ® Inventory.

Her approach is highly informed by her global work across 41 countries. Dr. Nasserzadeh serves at the Advisory Board of the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) and Co-Chairs the annual World Sexual Health Day (WSHD) event at Stanford University. Dr. Nasserzadeh is the chair of Division VII at the California Psychological Association (CPA) which is dedicated to Diversity and Social Justice. Last week she was honored by the AASECT Professional Standard of Excellence Award, 2021. Her practice is in Beverly Hills, California and she continues to work with clients and colleagues around the country and the world.

Dr. Shannon Chavez, Clinical Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist

Dr. Shannon Chavez is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice, SHAPE (Sexual Health and Pleasure Enhancement) Center in Beverly Hills, California where she provides individual and couples therapy, sex and relationship coaching, and workshops on sexual health and wellness. Her work focuses on adult sex education, integrating sexuality and spirituality, and sexual discovery towards personal growth.

Dr. Chavez helps women, men, LGBTQIA, and couples identify their barriers to sexual wellness and fulfillment, and how to overcome them with the proper education, resources, and skills. She works with various organizations and programs as a presenter, spokesperson, media commentator, and consultant in sexual health and wellness, relationships, and mental health. She also wrote a guide for clinicians on the treatment of love addiction through the use of attachment-oriented psychodynamic therapy – proving she has actually “written the book on it”!

She frequently appears on national news, radio, and media as a sexual health expert.

Carol & David, Radio Hosts, Sex & Swinging Lifestyle Educators

Carol and David are the hosts of The Sexy Lifestyle on VoiceAmerica radio, a leading provider of Internet talk radio. Each week Carol and David, A fun-loving swinger couple, share their own personal experiences with sex, love and marriage. Their show aims to help listeners have stronger, more meaningful relationships through clear communication, pushing boundaries, exploring limits, and fulfilling fantasies. Through uncensored and honest discussions about great sex, passion, and intimacy, gain insight into a sex-positive and female-centric view of the modern-day couple. The show airs every Thursday at 4pm PT on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. Tune in for their sex tips, wild stories, and live call-in advice about living a happy, healthy, and horny life!

Don’t miss it! Sign up here!

Satisfying Her in and Out of the Bedroom

Photo by Myicahel Tamburini from Pexels

What Women Want

If you want to get started pleasing your woman in and out of the bedroom, try these sexy tips!

• Give unexpected massages, hair stroking or other physical affection
• Only if sincere, tell her how much she means to you during lovemaking
• Compliment her with “just because” notes or phone calls
• Plan romantic evenings that will fill her with anticipation of what is to come
• Lavish her with oral sex and let her climax first
• Share romantic feelings
• Experiment with role-playing

However, if you want to really satisfy your woman and protect your relationship, read on
for more details.

It’s no secret that women are known for being sensitive and more in touch with their
emotions than men. However, they still place much importance on intimacy, the physical
characteristics of their significant others, as well as themselves, and sexual gratification.
There are many important qualities that women look for whether it be in bed or simply in
a lover. Below are some of the most common qualities to read over and make note of
how many you have and how many you can improve after reading through this e-book.

Sex is an art that requires awareness and knowledge of a woman’s needs and desires. I
will share just what it takes to please a woman in every way possible and will give you
the basic tools to acquire more information about women and what they want
in bed.

What Women Look for In A Lover

Listed below are many things that a woman wants in a lover:

  • A Lover who communicate openly
  • A Lover who take initiative
  • A Lover who can provide undivided attention
  • A Creative and inquiring lover
  • A Sexually, emotionally, and mentally intimate lover
  • A Lover who care about their appearance from their clothing to their scent
  • A Lover who can read their desired communication style (i.e. verbal or visual)
  • A Lover who finds pleasure in satisfying their partner
  • A Confident and courageous lover
  • A Lover who know the art of kissing and the techniques of foreplay
  • A Lover who know exactly where her erogenous zones are located
  • A Lover with the ability to control their ejaculation to lengthen their love making
  • A Lover willing to provide a sensual massage without any agenda
  • A Lover who know how to give positive feedback as well as receive it
  • A Lover who enjoy giving women what they want in bed as well as what they want outside of bed.

Be More Sexy Outside of the Bedroom

Make your lover the center of your attention. Turn off the television, radio, computer or
any other distractions if you don’t want to turn off your woman. Bring home little trinkets
for no special reason. A single flower or some chocolates will let her know that you were
thinking about her.

You can also do a lot to set the mood for a woman by stimulating all five of her senses.

Some ways you might do this include:

  • Listen to music, initiate love-talk before, during and after you make love.
  • Let her get olfactory cues from flowers, incense, scented candles and cologne.
  • Add sensual ornaments, pillows and accessories to your bedroom.
  • Create new touches with oils, lotions and powders.
  • Consider giving her satin sheets and silk lingerie.
  • Order in a gourmet dinner or buy favorite snacks and drinks (never make love on an empty stomach).
  • Let your lover know that she’s making a positive difference in your life. And show her
    how much you appreciate her by making her breakfast in bed. Write her love letters.
  • Give her lots of compliments; physical, emotional and appreciative ones.
  • You can’t really get too romantic or too old-fashioned when it comes to winning a
    woman’s heart. Take her on romantic walks or surprise her with a picnic lunch and you
    can’t go wrong. Always kiss her goodbye and give her a big welcome home. Don’t miss
    an opportunity to kiss her at unexpected times in unexpected places.
  • Let her know what you love about her the most. Phone her in the middle of the day just
    because you want to hear her voice. Take her on a fantasy date once a week. Record a
    message of love for her to listen to at home or in the car.

In the Bedroom Try These Tips!

  • Learn how to give your lover a slow, sensual massage. Such a time is also good for helping you discover all of her erogenous zones from her toes to the top of her head. Simply ask her to rate your caresses and kisses from 1 to 10 and remember that she is not rating you, but her erogenous zones. Make a mental note of where key spots are that she rates 8 and above.
  • Learn how to undress a woman slowly and appreciate every part of her skin before
    making love to her. Sex should not be a race. Go slowly and make love to each part of
    her. Be gentle and touch her so lightly it will leave her wanting more.
  • Try using ice, whipped cream or strawberry jam for foreplay. The key is to build sexual
    anticipation and take her slowly toward her orgasm. And always wait to have your
    orgasm last (more on how to prolong your ability to extend this time in a moment).

Women Want Intimacy

To better understand what a woman needs or wants, it is imperative to understand the
importance of intimacy. It is often assumed that intimacy is a single aspect of a
relationship, e.g. the physical part. People mistake intimacy in this way so having sex
automatically would mean two people were intimate. Although there is some truth
behind the physical perspective, alone it doesn’t encompass the full range of emotional,
intellectual and spiritual intimacies

What is intimacy?

Let’s start by breaking down the word intimacy and look at it phonetically. Into sounds very inviting doesn’t it? When you get into something, it means you really want to be there, right? What about Me See? You’re saying “This is ME. SEE me, all of me, because I have nothing to hide.” It’s like having a long zipper from your head to your toes, opening it and saying “Here I am.” Intimacy is about getting rid of protective layers and facades by revealing yourself to someone you truly love.

Intimacy is not a wild, rapid passion, but a slow burning passion. Intimacy doesn’t have to be serious; it can be fun like a Monopoly game. Your goal in Monopoly is to own expensive hotels on Park Place, but you can’t do that until you have purchased some less expensive properties on Baltic Ave.

It’s the same with intimacy. Your goal is to connect with someone mentally, emotionally and sexually, but you have to work your way up to it. You can do so by taking your time, getting to know your partner, exploring non-sexual areas and work up to primary erogenous zones.

For intimacy you need to be 100% present and enjoy the journey as much as
the destination.

When a woman feels intimate with her partner, she feels safe and she will
surrender to ultimate pleasure and satisfaction without any inhibitions.

It is beneficial to first grasp the meaning of intimacy and discover all five approaches to
helping free your inhibitions and soon achieving it. With that knowledge, you can
improve your communication also.

Intimate Communication

Communication is a process. To communicate effectively with your partner means
listening, interpreting and providing feedback. This will bring you closer to any partner.

Your most important sex organ isn’t between your legs but rather between your ears. This is where all sexual behavior begins. It’s what you do with it that counts. Use it, or lose out on having all the sex you’d like.

More than a few lovers have discovered that a whispered suggestion, especially when
it is in the ear of a woman, can be very arousing. Learn what the “secret password” to
your gal is and you will make your life more entertaining and be started on the road that
will lead to her satisfaction, adoration, and loyalty as well.

If He’s Said I Do, Here’s How to Say I Don’t: The Feminist Sexpert Guide to Rejecting Married Men

Photo by Monstera from Pexels

 

 

The Feminist Sexpert actively dislikes playing the drinking game Never Have I Ever, because–well–I never get to drink! I’ve pretty much tried everything on the sexual spectrum, and (as my icon Mae West phrases it) “Twice if it feels good!” But the one thing I’ve never done–and that I never plan to do–is have an affair with a married man.

Why? Well, I attribute this decision to a mixture of both modern and traditional values. Modern in the sense that–well–I’m the Feminist Sexpert damn it, and I refuse to break the Girl Code by dallying with somebody else’s man. Traditional in the sense that, the times that I’ve attended weddings, I take the ‘forsaking all others’ bit pretty darned seriously.  

But, some might ask: What if he’s in an open marriage? Nope. What if he isn’t legally married but is in a serious relationship? Nope. What if he’s really, really hot? Sigh, it physically wounds me to say this, but….No. Look, I’ve even surrendered crushes on favorite male models and adult actors once I found out they were hitched or seriously committed.

Is it always easy? No. I’ve turned down some major league hotties, with my clit and pussy screaming–no, make that wailing–a chorus of protest every step of the way–but at the end of the day, my heart and my mind stay good.

To any sisterfriends out there who have trouble resisting the charms of bewedded baes, here are a few tips that might help:

1. Get to know their spouses and families. If this isn’t possible, at least locate photos of them on social media. Once you see that smiling sisterfriend or that adorable kid, you wouldn’t dream of doing ’em dirty.

2. If you have to interact with Tommy Tempter at work or in a social group, be sure not ‘go to the barbecue hungry,’ if you catch my meaning. If you have a partner yourself, work with him/her/they to heat things up in the bedroom so that you don’t leave home unsatisfied. If you are happily self-partnered like myself, hit up your friends with bens, hire a male companion (my favorite remedy for just about any sexual issue–ride ’em Cowgirl!), attend a male strip show, buy a new toy and some porn, etc.

3. Avoid developing deep, close friendships with married men–unless they’re married to other men and are not tempted by female you, or bear such a strong likeness to Quasimodo on Quaaludes that you’re not even remotely tempted. A fun friendship date that seems like just a lunch or just a movie could become more. Restrict social messaging to work-related topics or quick hi/byes.

4. Seek some artistic inspiration.  See the Jill Clayburgh classic “An Unmarried Woman” to see the story of a woman who bravely survives her husband’s betrayal and abandonment. Or listen to the classic Shirley Murdock song “Husband.” The powerful lyrics include:

“My desire for you is strong, but I won’t do wrong. You’re that lady’s husband…

My decency prevails… Well I’m a lady with class and I know my desire will pass…

This cannot [be] because you are her husband.”

5. Think about what it would be like if the high heel was on the other foot. Imagine the pain and anger of finding out that the man of your heart was breaking yours–with the help of another woman.

6. Don’t believe his bunk. Of course he’s going to tell you his wife is so darned evil, she makes Maleficent look like Doris Day. What is he going to say? “My wife is a sweet, wonderful woman, which I’m sure will make you feel just wonderful about helping me betray her?” If she is indeed such an awful person, he needs to divorce her. But if his come on starts with the line, “My wife doesn’t understand me,” then the ultimate cool reply is, “Then the poor dear and I have something in common. Think I’ll call her up, and we’ll do coffee.”

 

De-balling, Retracting and Playing It Safe: How Cultural Inclusionary Language Is Killing Sex Writing

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

As I have written previously, I do indeed use the Grammarly program in my editing, but I am very cautious of it. I notice quite often the algorithm spits back suggestions over word choices it feels may not be known by the general public.

Go figure. My vocabulary is that highfalutin?

Then there are those instances where I might use a word like salesman, and Grammarly will prompt me that this is ‘gender-biased.’ If the person I am writing about happens to be a man who sells, wasn’t I being specific, not exclusive? And quite frankly, stopping at every instance to substitute the word ‘person’ for man or woman is exhausting.

And this is just Grammarly, a program I can choose to ignore or not use at all. What has had me worried now for some time, and what I feel is quite an insidious seed change to the cultural mindset, is an all but cloying approach that cuts many of us, sex writers, to the quick: the dangerous trend in the all-inclusive defusing of language.

I saw this writ large in a series of articles I recently wrote about orgasm denial and chastity for what tends to be a feminine-skewed website. I know I could already be welcoming some criticism just for writing the word “feminine,” but I don’t feel that word is offensive, and it describes the tremor of the stuff on the site. I have lots of respect for the editor and my fellow writers at this place. There’s lots of really good writing alongside my few articles, some super cool exposes, and opinion pieces on a great many subjects I have never considered and know nothing about. But in my pieces and plenty of others, I have noticed an increasing number of the editor’s warnings at the beginning of the articles, a couple-paragraph ‘Language note’ caution. Specifically, the last warning topping my piece stated that my article “employed language that was ‘intentionally gender non-specific,’ and that words like words ‘cock’ and ‘penis’ are used with absolutely no gender specificity assigned to any term. “

I don’t even know what the fuck that all means nor why anybody has to be warned about it.

I’m one of those heart-on-my-sleeves guys so sensitive to other people’s feelings. Fuck, I cry at commercials! If I can manage the good fortune to have someone feel enlightened, empowered, aroused, what have you, from reading something I wrote, I figure I have done my job well, and then some. The very last thing I’d ever want is a reader feeling uncomfortable from my use of some word or misconstruing my meaning when I know I never intentionally seek out to exclude anyone. Yes, I write a lot of satire, and it can be biting at times, but I never attack those who cannot defend themselves, and I am never mean for mean sake. Really, most times, especially in my non-fiction writing, I am hoping  to make my reader feel a bit freer about their sexuality and maybe consider something that they might not have yet tried. Or consider not judging somebody who is trying something they might never want to get into or even might feel is repellant.

It’s all about spreading the love on my side of the street.

The warning up above then, while unfortunately currently ubiquitous in the current climate, is lost on/for me. The powers-that-be running websites, publishing magazines, even teaching in our schools worry so much about offending anyone that they bend over backward, making sure to include everyone. They over-explain, offer apologies, and over-compensate for offenses they assume are being made at every turn. But I have lots of faith in the intelligence and reason of the everyday reader. I believe that even when we encounter something that rankles us or sits counter to our belief system, we have the mature ability, most times, to digest, consider, then move on. It comes down to the old ‘sticks and stones’ axiom, and I fear there’s a lot more happening in your world if you get so twisted by a word used or even an idea expressed that you’d take that much offense to what you read.

And if you are prone to such deep feelings over what you read, dare I say, a pre-article warning isn’t going to diffuse you.

I wrote a story recently, where a lady (yes, an actual biological born female…although is it ok for me to write ‘biological female?’) was looking for a right good humping to the exclusion of anything else. It was thought by an editor who sent the story back to me that my lady was exhibiting harmful stereotypical behavior, that I had not written her with enough complexities. Not that I ever do so with a rejection, but I could have easily argued that some ladies (as some men, as some transgender people, as some…) love to fuck. And for some of us, and certainly, for the sake of my story (an erotic story at that), it was all about this person seeking and getting some to some fucking across the course of the action. Some characters, yes, have lots more layers to them; some do not. And really, I’m not that great of a writer where I can create such rich characters in a short story that rival those concocted by a Poe, or a Hemingway. But by writing my lady where she mainly was motivated by getting a dick in her (sorry, there I am being exclusionary, but she was a hetero lady and therefore only wanted warm, real penis inside her), I wasn’t making a blanket statement about heterosexual females, as this editor came right out and told me he felt I was.

One person’s opinion and all that. It’s ok, I took the rejection and moved on, but I didn’t change my character and how she acted.

I fully understand that there are great big groups of folks who have felt marginalized for a very long time. Many people have not had a voice in our global culture until recently when minorities now seem to have gained some push-back and power across cultural lines. This is fantastic. As I said, I want everyone to be happy, to feel that they matter, and truly, I feel all lives matter. But looking for something to be there that’s not, from a lousy old writer like me, is lots of wasted time. Being ready to jump at any provocation, or what’s worse, getting your panties in a twist (and sorry, if I am excluding those of us who do not wear panties?) over an offense you simply could never feel (for instance, if you happen to be a middle-class heterosexual white male who scribbles erotica writing columns for sexpert.com and get yourself worked up to a right lather over some expose not showing the requisite deference to the plight of the indigenous island birds half a world away) falls well into the category of virtual signaling and not much else.

Go forth and be happy, my little droogs. That’s all I could ever want for you and yours. And don’t take life so seriously. Mostly, what we encounter littering our way are other people’s opinions, not much more. And you know what they say about opinions and assholes…we all got them. And degree of potential stinky-ness around both various to a great degree.

Sorry, did that offend you?

The Power of the Clitoris

model of a clitoris devised by the Sydney artist Alli Sebastian Wolf

The Gland
The power is in the Clitoris. Its ability to be responsive in so many different pleasurable ways make it the most powerful part of the anatomy according to many. The clitoris is a gland that is made of the head, the shaft, the legs that stretch along the pubic arch and the bulbs right behind it. Upon arousal the clitoris can become erect. The shaft within can be manipulated by moving it up and down or squeezing it softly. With sole stimulation of the clitoris, you can cause orgasms of various intensities. You can also use your mouth and lips to give pleasure – cunnlingus.

Arousal is crucial
There are some considerations you should take when you are masturbating or with a partner. It is possible to overwork the clitoris. Some people may also have a highly sensitive clitoris in which you can use the clitoral hood to buffer the sensation. You must create arousal to get an orgasmic result. If you are alone, touch other parts of your body that turn you on. Get in a great position for exploration and find the stimulation you need to release. If you are with a partner, they need to be mindful of the pressure, force, and speed that they use when touching the clitoris. Whether they are using their fingers, mouth, or tongue, it is important that they stay mindful in pushing down over the clitoris which can be painful when harden.

Pressure, Speed and Force
The amount of pressure you use to squeeze or lick over and around the clitoris could be too much for the recipient. This is because there is a certain direction and placement of the clitoris that feels better than others. Finding the sweet spot is the goal, you may be preventing the orgasm from being released because of the distraction of “grazing” the sweet spot. Listen to the person and stay where they need you to be. Of course, you need to also think about speed. Starting slow, gentle, and purposeful is a great way to begin the process. If you begin to move your fingers or tongue over the clitoris rapidly you are going to create over sensitivity or pain. Wait for the go ahead to pick up speed. By then you have been giving the formula for this person’s orgasm. The perfect amount of pressure, the perfect speed and force.

As the receiver, you can control your breathing to stay present and aware of the sensations you are experiencing. Take in slow steady air to the count of 2-4 counts and release it at 6. Keep this up as you become vocal, moaning increases senses for all parties. It lets the giver know that they are doing something right and stay where they are. If you are receiving, you should be in a safe space where you can tell your person by moving your body where your sweet spot is. Be comfortable with gyrating, pressing down, speaking up, whatever it takes to convey your need. A safe space is when your giver follows your wishes without guilt, shame, or pressure to keep going.

Add in Fingering
It is also important to follow through on what types of pleasure you want to receiver/give. A clitoral orgasm can stand alone, if you add other stimulation, you will change the type of orgasm that is being had with the clitoris being the most powerful and reactive spot. Let’ s say you begin to use your fingers to open the Vspot and begin to stimulate the vaginal walls, the Aspot, Gspot, Cspot, deep spot or cul de sac. Creating a rhythm between clitoral stimulation and pressure, force and speed of your fingers can create an all over body release.

The Star of the Show
While every clitoris owner is different, knowing the basics of how to stimulate it, makes you a better lover, helps you to practice patience and requires you to stay focus on the pleasure you are giving and the reaction of the person. When you find that they are flinching, moving away from you, or verbally expressing discomfort, you must stop whatever you are doing right way. Often when you “traumatize” the clitoris it will not respond to further stimulation pleasurable. It’s like losing an erection. If the situation agrees, you can start over by going back to the foreplay that led them to arousal. It may take longer to get them fully engaged again but take patience to allow them to get there. Accept the power of the clitoris and its ability to be the star of the show.

The Intimacy Spectrum: Sexual Intimacy Is Only the Beginning

Phpto by Nathan McBride

Sexual intimacy is only one way of being intimately connected to your partner. Intimacy occurs in many forms, not just with sexual intercourse. Our levels of intimacy strengthen and evolve as our relationships grow & we have more experiences with one another. A level of trust is developed and reinforced, as couples continue to open up and become confidants for each other.

Photo by CDC-65

Non-sexual intimacy is possibly more important than sexual intimacy in the framework of a long-term relationship. Although couples can remain sexually active well into their senior years and this connection reinforces intimacy, non-sexual forms of intimacy are far more important in building and maintaining healthy long-term relationships. Sharing activities that have meaning for both of you, helps to reinforce your bond. Whether the shared activity is an appreciation of certain music or a particular hobby, these commonalities create intimacy between the two of you. A favorite restaurant where you fell in love, or they proposed, or you shared confidential information; these things create intimacy within the relationship.

Photo by Jason Goodman

Challenges that we face in our relationships that occur naturally with the passing of time and aging, strengthen our bonds and make the connection stronger, more treasured and even closer. Look for ways to nurture non-sexual intimacy within your relationship by taking an interest in those things that are of interest to your partner. Do things for them that show you not only love but deeply care for them. These things don’t have to be financially based but built around giving of your time, your energies and your thoughts.

Photo by Matt Seymour

10 New Year’s Resolutions to Make & Break

You know you want to live your life to your full potential so that you can be happy and healthy. You also want to have the best relationship that will keep getting better. You want to grow together, not apart and the best way to accomplish that is by setting some New Year’s Resolutions that are guaranteed to improve your communication, enhance your romance, increase your intimacy and expand your sexual horizons. But first you have break bad habits that have been keeping you for being happy personally and or in a relationship.

Here are 10 bad habits with some action steps to help you resolve them.

1. Cheating – don’t go to tempting places or get into tempting situations.

2. Smoking – ration yourself to smoke one less every day until you give it up.

3. Drinking – just drink on weekends or special occasions.

4. Drugs – get help from a support group.

5. Food – eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.

6. Gambling – give the money to charity instead.

7. Abuse – take time out before you say or do something you’ll regret.

8. Laziness – make a list of productive things to do and check them off daily.

9. Clutter – Organize one room at a time.

10. Selfishness – help others by volunteering your time, donating money or personal items to people who have less than you.

What is your bad habit and what is one action step you can take to resolve it?

Here are 10 Relationship Resolutions that will make your relationship even better.

1. Set a Romance Goal – Hold hands, kiss daily, make time for make-out sessions at least 3 times a week and take turns initiation romantic dates such as candlelight dinners or movie night.
2. Set an Intimacy Goal – Listen to each other, be emotionally supportive, share your feelings and make love with eyes open at least 2 times a week.
3. Set a Communication Goal –Ask your partner how you can be a better partner. Praise your partner often, give him or her a compliment every day, listen more, argue less, verbalize appreciation more and criticize less.
4. Set a Collaboration Goal – Spend quality time together by doing things you both enjoy. Learn a new hobby together, take dance classes, Loveology online classes, cooking, yoga, camping, painting, or volunteering for a charity. Take a short vacay for a weekend to the Loveology Retreat for yoga, meditation, hiking and stargazing.
5. Set Habit Changing Goal – Make a pact to help each other lose weight, stop smoking, procrastinating, being messy, lazy, grumpy or any other bad habit where you can support each other to quit.
6. Set Fun Goal – Play indoor and outdoor games like you did when you were a kid. From hide and seek to pillow fighting, be silly and playful to put the fun back into your relationship.
7. Set Intention Goal – Write a couples mission statement and include where you see your relationship in one year. Then frame it in your home as a personal and public reminder of your shared relationship mission.
8. Set Improvement Goal – Change something about yourself to make your relationship even better. For example, make an effort to dress up and greet your partner with a kiss after work, learn how to give a sensual massage or just get a fashion makeover.
9. Set Forgiveness Goal – Let go of past hurts, open up your heart and let love in with a fresh New Year’s start. Write a forgiveness letter to yourself or to someone who has hurt you, but end the letter by writing that you forgive.
10. Set Happiness Goal – Know what makes you happy individually and as a couple. Then live your life to the fullest by doing the things that make you happy, whether it’s eating ice cream, being pampered at a spaor cuddling with your partner.

Be realistic when setting your New Years Relationship Resolutions. The reality is that a consistently successful relationship takes compromise and commitment.

 

The Feminist Sexpert Says: Vote No on Throat

Photo found at Pexels, taken by Andrea Piacquadio

In the future, when a woman’s crying like that, she isn’t having any fun!–Louise Sawyer, a title character in the film Thelma and Louise–a film deservedly listed in the Library of Congress National Film Registry.  

So last year commenced the 50th anniversary celebration for the film Deep Throat, a pornographic film credited with launching the ‘porno chic’ movement–a celebration in which the Feminist Sexpert did not take part, because she thinks the flick reeks. She wrote a column detailing the reasons behind her stance here

Ah, but she’s not done yet.

Now comes the news that, to cap off the big ol’ Throaty Party, a campaign called #VoteThroat has been launched–a campaign that promotes the inclusion of the film Deep Throat in the Library of Congress National Film Registry.

In this column, I would like to address and refute the reasoning presented behind this campaign.

1. The Throaty Committee claims that, despite a stated goal to list a full spectrum of films from all genres, the Library of Congress has yet to include an X-rated film in its heralded registry. This is incorrect. Midnight Cowboy, Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song and Medium Cool all were rated X at the time of their release, as was Pink Flamingos–and all four are now featured in the registry. In fact, a number of sexually provocative movies are featured in this esteemed listing, including the aforementioned Cowboy, She’s Gotta Have It, Sex, Lies and Videotape, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Harold and Maude, Son of the Sheik, Jezebel, Mom and Dad, and many others.

This year alone, Dee Rees’ fantastic Pariah joins a handful of LGBTQA films to make the list.

It may be true that no pornographic film is featured in the registry–but why start with Deep Throat? The Feminist Sexpert, for example, would love to see Candida Royalle’s Femme, a movie that single handedly revolutionized the couples market and marked the inception of feminist porn as a marketable industry, on the list. Another likely candidate would be The Devil in Miss Jones, though I personally am not a fan. Andy Warhol’s Blue Movie was the first explicit sex film to be released nationwide in the United States. Boys in the Sand was the inaugural gay porno to receive a wide release. And Andrew Blake’s beautiful Night Trips was the first XXX film to win a top award at a mainstream international film festival.

2. They listed When Harry Met Sally. Why not Deep Throat? Sure. When I think of When Harry Met Sally, a wise, sweet, gentle romantic comedy, I also think of a porno movie about a woman who discovers that her clitoris is located in her throat.

But yes, the Throat Throng believes that, because of its featured and famous orgasm scene (I’ll have what she’s having and all that), new registry inductee When Harry Met Sally is comparable to Deep Throat. Here’s the problem: in her faked orgasm scene, Meg Ryan’s character of Sally was demonstrating just how easy it is for a woman to fake a climax; something far too many women do every day. In Deep Throat, by contrast, the audience is supposed to believe that the heroine gets her proverbial jollies solely from the performance of oral sex. In other words, just be a good girl and fall to your knees to please your man–only in this way will you find true happiness.

3. Deep Devotees insist that Deep Throat is woman positive, sex positive and fun to watch. This is the saddest, and most grossly inaccurate assertion put forth by the Throaters; that Deep Throat is a light-hearted, fun-loving film that makes a positive statement about women’s sexuality. 

The movie’s star, Linda Lovelace, aka Linda Boreman, insisted for years that she was coerced into the making of the film Deep Throat–not by the film’s cast and crew, but by a manager husband who abused her for years.

Boreman’s story drew much support from legendary feminist Gloria Steinem, and credence from witnesses and the affirming results of several lie detector tests. 

If you look beyond the blank eyes and childlike smile that she displays in the film, you see the bruises on her body. And as Roger Ebert stated in his brilliant review of Deep Throat, “It is all very well and good for Linda Lovelace, the star of the movie, to advocate sexual freedom; but the energy she brings to her role is less awesome than discouraging. If you have to work this hard at sexual freedom, maybe it isn’t worth the effort.” 

And as far as being a peachy couples flick, well the immortal Ebert has an answer for that.
“The word just sort of got around: This is the first stag film to see with a date,” he wrote. “There were a lot of couples in the audience Sunday afternoon. Most of them, I thought, left the theater looking a little grim.”

Two points I will concede: Deep Throat exceeds 10 years in age. And it does indeed boast a female lead character–like the vast majority of porn flicks. Congrats on that.

The Feminist Sexpert herself never has attended a public showing of the film Deep Throat. She has, however, visited the film research room of the Library of Congress. When I was researching my book Ladies in Silver, a chronicle of women who worked behind the scenes in the silent film industry, I basked in the beauty and tradition of this hallowed hall–a place that people go to celebrate the very best in film.

Deep Throat has no place at the Library in Congress. Linda Boreman does have a place in history, but it was one for which she constantly had to fight.

During her appearance on the TV show Woman2Woman in 1984, Linda Boreman asked an adult theatre owner point blank, “Do you realize that whenever you show the film Deep Throat in your theater, that you’re showing me being raped?”

The woman said nothing for a moment before mumbling, “No, I don’t realize that at all.”

Then she looked away.  


Poor Choices: The Fine Line Between Exploration and Exploitation of Women’s Sexuality in Today’s Film

Image found at Pexels, taken by Timur Weber

So there’s this widely lauded award-nominated film, Poor Things, that purports to depict a positive portrait of feminist sexuality. In this motion picture, a slimy perv creates a being–who calls her maker God–that basically boasts the body of a woman and the mind of a child. Ah, but no worries Ladies, because soon a handsome, young virile hero appears in her life to stand by her side as she uses her wits and cunning to overcome and rise above this terrible situation–finding a sparkling new life in which she claims free agency and discovers the magic of mutually consensual, healthful relations, discovering herself and her own worth at the same time.

Um, nope. Actually, that’s not the plot of the movie. At all. Instead, the heroine known as Bella Baxter is molested and kidnapped by yet another slimy perv–only she happens to prefer this slimy perv better than the last one, so the two embark on a root tootin erotic adventure that finds her drifting into prostitution, humping everything that moves–and some things that don’t–and (or so it’s implied in one oh so memorable scenario) having sex with a man as his two minor sons watch.

Why do I think that the FBI is going to bust down my door at any given moment now, just for typing that last hideous sentence? Ah, no, it’s just the Pizza Guy. Whew! That was a close one.

But seriously, Folks–this supposed take on women’s sexuality, written by a man, directed by a man, based on a book by a man, are we seeing a pattern here?–breaks more rules of feminist erotica (and, as a bonus, human decency) than I can count. 

Plus it breaks the cardinal rule of pissing off The Feminist Sexpert–something that far too many faux feminist sex flicks have a tendency to do.

Another prime example takes the form of Breaking the Waves, a 1996 award winner written and directed by a man, that tells the tale of a woman’s sexual awakening.  Bess’ introduction to sex is actually a nurturing and jovial one, as she and her husband enjoy a blissful honeymoon–with her loving mate introducing her to the joys of marital intercourse. Why couldn’t the movie be about that? But nooo–the hubby is permanently disabled in an accident. And when he encourages her to seek sensual satisfaction in the arms of other men, does she find a hunky gardener to do the job–ala Sean Bean in Lady Chatterley’s Lover? Nope. She JO’s an old dude on a bus before running from said bus and throwing up. Then, as an encore, she has herself shipped out to a workmans’ boat, where she is beaten and raped. Then she dies.

My biggest issue with these films lies in the display, objectification and abuse of the female body for a fraudulent purpose; the attempt to deceive the viewer into the belief that, as long as you show a gal having lots and lots of sex–consensual or otherwise–you are celebrating her sexuality.

Want to celebrate a woman’s sexuality? Tell a story in which a mature, capable woman embarks on sensual adventures with partners her own age and attractiveness level (or perhaps younger, providing that they are of legal age), with no elements of violence or coercion. Show them laughing, learning, having fun, and climaxing all over the place. Show just as much of the male body as you do its female equivalent. And go beyond the body to show and celebrate who she is a person. Above all, stop calling her a thing.

It goes without saying, of course, that we need more women telling women’s stories on film, in this and all genres. Yet, sadly, I can’t quite let the ladies off the hook. The Fifty Shades series, written and directed by women and based on a book written by a woman. 365 Days, directed and written by a mixed team, based on a book by a woman. Catherine Breillat’s Romance, written and directed by a woman. 9 and a Half Weeks, directed by a man, written by a mixed writing team, based on a book by a woman. Secretary, directed by a man, written by a mixed team. All of these works imply that women derive pleasure from pain and humiliation.

By contrast, the films A Night in Heaven (directed by a man, written by a woman), Thief of Hearts (directed by a man, written by another man), Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (directed and written by women), Coming Soon (written and directed by women), the Magic Mike series (written and directed by men), The Stud (directed by a man, written by a mixed team, based on a book by a woman), the latest version of Lady Chatterley’s Lover (the most recent version of which was directed by a woman, written by a man, and based on a book by a man), Addicted (directed by a man, written by a mixed team, based on a book by a woman), Cheri (directed by a man, written by a man, based on a book by a woman), Blue Bayou (directed and written by women), Cabin Fever (directed and written by women, based on a book by a woman), Paris, France (directed and written by men), and The Love Scenes series (directed by a man, written by men and women) all did a flawless job of telling romantic stories of women finding sexual liberation through the exploration of their fantasies–and at the hands of men who coax and seduce, not force.

The point is that people of all genders and persuasions can convey a positive, healthy portrayal of women’s sexuality in the cinema–and they also can sell women a royal bill of goods by releasing misogynistic crap.

Furthermore, a male critic–reporting for the Beniverse Movie Review Channel–pretty much shared my viewpoints about Poor Things in his amazing review, “Poor Things Can’t Escape the Male Gaze.” And one of his viewers summed up the movie perfectly in the comments.

“So, it’s really not about empowering women sexually; it’s just another man’s sex fantasy.”

Why Aqua Tantric Massage is a Must-Try

Aqua tantric massage offers a unique blend of ancient healing practices and modern wellness techniques. This sensual experience combines the therapeutic properties of warm water with tantric massage methods, promoting deep physical and mental relaxation.

As a holistic approach, aqua tantric massage engages the senses, utilising skilful manipulation of touch, sound, and scent to create an immersive sensory journey. Beyond mere erotic pleasure, this practice aims to awaken and distribute sexual energy, fostering emotional bonding, intimacy, and meaningful connections.

The benefits of aqua tantric massage extend beyond physical relaxation. It helps release endorphins, reduce stress, and improve overall mood. Moreover, it can lead to enhanced self-awareness, increased confidence, and improved mental health by easing conditions like depression, anxiety, and mental confusion.

Whether enjoyed in professional spa settings or through practices like sacred baths at home, aqua tantric massage offers a luxurious and rejuvenating experience for individuals seeking mind-body wellness.

Discover how this unique combination of water and touch therapies can unlock a world of sensual healing and personal growth.

What is Aqua Tantric Massage?

Aqua Tantric Massage, involves being partially or fully submerged in warm water. It’s a spiritual, sexual practice aiming to forge connections through touch and breathing.

Clients experience a fully naked, sensual therapy to relax tense muscles. The massage awakens and distributes sexual energy, facilitating healing and the release of natural energy from within the body.

It provides a unique sensual experience combining physical relaxation and sexual energies.

Benefits of Aqua Tantric Massage

Aqua Tantric Massage harmoniously blends water therapy, sensual touch, and mindful presence. This unique experience cultivates profound relaxation, heightened intimacy, and holistic well-being.

Physical and Mental Relaxation

Aqua Tantric massage releases endorphins, nature’s feel-good chemicals. These blissful hormones induce profound physical and mental relaxation. Tension melts away as the gentle strokes promote tranquillity and an elevated mood.

Immersing in warm waters during an aqua massage spa session heightens the soothing sensations. The calming combination of touch and water therapies rejuvenates the mind and body.

Stress dissolves, leaving you refreshed and recharged.

Improved Intimacy and Connection

Beyond physical relaxation, aqua tantric massage cultivates profound emotional bonds. Warm water and gentle touch harmonise, fostering trust, and vulnerability – gateways to deeper intimacy.

This sensual experience transcends the erotic, nurturing sacred connections.

London’s finest practitioners masterfully blend Eastern traditions with Western techniques. Shower your senses with a luxurious, rejuvenating journey towards mind-body unity. Couples discover newfound closeness, reigniting passion through shared bliss.

Heightened Sensory Experience

Aqua tantric massage awakens your senses through mindful touch and breathwork. Warm water enhances receptivity, allowing pleasurable sensations to cascade over your body. The skillful manipulation of sound, scent, and ambience creates an immersive, multi-sensory experience.

Improved Overall Well-Being

Aqua tantric massage cultivates holistic wellness, nurturing mind, body, and spirit harmony. This aquatic journey rejuvenates the soul, alleviating stress, anxiety, and mental fatigue.

Immersed in warm waters, the senses awaken, promoting profound relaxation and inner peace. As tensions melt away, a renewed vitality emerges, enhancing overall well-being.

Beyond physical restoration, aqua tantric massage fosters emotional balance. Gentle, rhythmic movements unlock emotional blockages, releasing pent-up emotions. This liberating experience strengthens self-awareness and self-acceptance, boosting confidence and self-esteem.

The Experience of Aqua Tantric Massage

The Experience of Aqua Tantric Massage envelops you in a sensual, warm embrace. Gliding strokes and rhythmic motions harmonise with the caressing waters to awaken every nerve ending.

Techniques and Rhythms Utilized

Aqua tantric massage incorporates diverse techniques and rhythms. These rhythmic movements mimic life’s natural flow, aiding anxiety and tension release.

  • Effleurage: Gliding strokes employ water’s viscous resistance for deep relaxation.
  • Petrissage: Kneading motions stimulate muscles, boosting circulation and lymphatic drainage.
  • Tapotement: Percussive tapping enhances sensory awareness, promoting mindfulness.
  • Friction: Circular movements generate gentle heat, alleviating stiffness.
  • Rocking: Cradling motions instil a sense of security and nurturing.
  • Acupressure: Applying pressure to specific points unleashes revitalising energy pathways.
  • Tantric Breathing: Controlled breathing synchronises mind-body harmony, intensifying pleasure.
  • Chakra Balancing: Aligning energy centres fosters profound inner tranquillity.

Use of Warm Water

Aqua tantric massage employs warm water deeply relaxing muscles. The water’s warmth improves blood flow as tension melts away. Additionally, the water’s resistance soothes physical stress, promoting overall well-being.

Warm water heightens sensory awareness during aqua tantric massage. Its buoyancy alleviates pressure, enabling complete surrender. The rhythmic caress of water envelops the body, amplifying touch sensations.

Options for Professional or At-Home Sessions

Aqua Tantric Massage offers a luxurious experience, whether you choose a professional spa session or prefer the convenience of your home. Professional massages often include rituals like a sacred bath or rosebud massage, enhancing the overall indulgence.

Why Aqua Tantric Massage is a Must-Try

You understand a profound connection through water and touch. This extraordinary experience nurtures intimacy, heightens sensations, and rejuvenates mind and body.

Unique Combination of Water and Touch Therapies

Aqua Tantric Massage stands apart, combining water and skilled touch for a truly rejuvenating encounter. Warm water envelops the body, heightening sensitivity as expert practitioners apply rhythmic strokes.

This harmonious fusion transcends physical realms, fostering a profound mind-body connection. The experience activates the senses, melting away tension while igniting passion and intimacy.

Luxurious and Rejuvenating Experience

Aqua tantric massage offers a sublime experience, combining the soothing power of warm water with the sensual art of touch. Immerse yourself in this luxurious ritual, transcending the physical to rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit.

This indulgent practice merges the revitalising benefits of hydrotherapy with the ancient wisdom of tantric techniques. Surrender to the caress of gentle currents as skilled therapists guide you through a choreography of strokes and rhythms, unlocking profound states of relaxation and inner peace.

Incorporates Mind and Body Wellness

Transitioning from the luxurious rejuvenation, aqua tantric massage harmonises physical and mental well-being. Beyond sensual bliss, it cultivates holistic healing. Tantric techniques instil positive energy, easing the mind and soul.

Aqua sessions reduce cortisol levels, calming the psyche and relaxing muscles. This unique therapy diminishes depression, anxiety, and mental turmoil. The rhythmic strokes and warm water immerse you in a soothing experience, promoting overall wellness.

Conclusion

In wrapping up, aqua tantric massage is more than just a spa treatment; it’s a deeply enriching experience that blends the comforting embrace of warm water with the mindful touch of massage, guiding you to new levels of relaxation and intimacy. It’s an opportunity to pause, breathe, and connect—with yourself and, potentially, with a partner. The practice stands out as a powerful way to unwind, recharge, and find balance amidst life’s chaos.

So, if you’re looking for a way to melt away stress, elevate your mood, and maybe even improve your relationships, consider giving aqua tantric massage a try. It’s a chance to let the restorative power of water and the ancient art of touch work their magic on you, leaving you feeling refreshed, centred, and connected. Whether you choose to make it part of your self-care routine at home or treat yourself to a professional session, it’s an indulgence that promises profound benefits for both body and soul.