Wednesday, October 14, 2026

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.

Is Sex Really A Selling Point?

There is a preconceived notion that many people have about specific sectors of the adult industry.  For brick and mortars, they constantly contend with the stereotypical idea that the stores are seedy with sticky floors and men walking around in trench coats – not a place for women, the home pleasure parties peddle sex toys, pornography and catering to over-sexed women with unusual desires.   Fortunately, these stereotypes and antiquated perceptions have been dispelled and are continually being eliminated through the creation of beautifully decorated storefronts that promise a sex positive/female positive shopping experience once you enter those doors.

The same holds true for the home pleasure party sector.  Our particular sector has been around for decades, going into women’s homes all over the world, bringing products and promises of better sexual experiences.  Consultants have a specific mission: to book parties – to get into women’s homes and talk about sex and sell products.  Because we have to literally get our feet into our customer’s doors, the pitch of the home party professional has to be a little different than that of the brick and mortar owner, who only has to unlock the door and turn on the “Open” sign to get customers.  Or the internet outlet that utilizes social media to gain business.

So, the question that comes to mind is: Is sex a selling point?

From the invitations to the choices of products to the presentations, displays and games, the home pleasure party has essentially taken the “X” out of sex when it comes to presenting sex toys in customer homes.  This evolution occurred out of necessity – the necessity to book parties – to get in the door.  Our sector learned to soften the message and delivery to make buying sex toys more palatable and justifiable.

The current popularity of the phrase “sexual health and well-being” is one that actually put a phrase to an action that was already happening in the home party sector – we just hadn’t attached a catch phrase to what we were doing.  In any product presentation at a home pleasure party, you’ll hear words, phrases and product descriptions that promote intimacy; encourage more intense orgasms.  You’ll hear presentations that encourage fun couple’s play, self-love and exploration, vaginal health, prostate health.  What you won’t here are those words that are perceived to be on the dirtier side of the sexual spectrum.  Home pleasure party plan consultants encourage and support sexual prowess not sexual predator.

This method wasn’t created because the home party professional thought she was a notch above any other sectors – no.  This method was created in order to get bookings – to make a living selling sex toys to women who needed to be provided with justification for bringing a woman selling sex toys into their homes.  The home party professional had to convince the hostess that she was a trailblazer – ahead of her time – she was bringing her friends into the brave new world of sexual exploration! And still although on a different plane, the home party professional is still convincing her customers that they are goddesses – but sexual health and well-being goddesses now instead of trailblazers.

The home party sector leans toward a softer sell, encouraging conversations about discovering one’s pleasure centers and their boundaries and encouraging play and sharing with a partner (most likely monogamous couples)…but no judgement, it’s all beautiful.  This isn’t a judgement about the home party plan sector or any other sector of the adult industry, just an observation of how the marketing for this particular customer base is slightly different than that of any other sector.

In the home pleasure party sector, 96% of purchases are made by women. One major reason for this is because many home pleasure party plan companies only offer all female parties.  This not only encourages women to be more open about their sexuality it diffuses/takes the edge off the idea of discussing/imagining the sexual tension which intercourse involves.  Focusing on the sexual wellness aspect also ‘gives permission’ to home party goers to feel okay about their individual sexual needs and helps them recognize the need to enhance their sexual activities with their partners thus making purchases that will make the outcome of those experiences more meaningful to advancing the relationship.

For the home pleasure party sector and other sectors of the industry, selling sexual health may make our jobs easier and perhaps even more profitable.  You’re not only providing a product, you’re providing a service.  So think about steps you can take to remove the ‘X’ from ‘sex’ and party on!

SEXPERT PANEL ON SEXUAL HEALING

This event has passed, but you can watch the replay below!

Don’t miss the latest Sexpert Panel on Sexual Healing, hosted by LoveUniv.com and sponsored by CalExotics Pleasure Products with their new line SheOlogy and TheyOlogy.

Sponsored by:

And one lucky attendee will be chosen to win an adult toy gift basket, but you must be registered and in attendance to win.

I will be giving away my video Sexycises By Sexperts: Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy. Top experts in sexual health and pleasure demonstrate how to stay connected on the journey to sexual fitness and satisfaction, using the blended energies of yin and yang.

We have an amazing panel of Sexperts, including my friend Sexologist and Author Dr. Sadie Allison, who has created a CBD lubricant with her partner John Renko, to help women suffering from panful intercourse. She is giving all attendees one of her bestselling eBooks on the Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris.

You’ll also meet Dr. Cat Meyer, Sex Therapist, PhyD, Global Speaker and Yoga Therapist who I have worked with when we created a Feminine Healing Retreat in Thailand.

Dr. Cat and I also worked together on Sexycises by Sexperts, where you will see her beautiful partner yoga demonstrations. She is gifting everyone her Audio Guide on How to Discover Your Inner Sex Kitten.

Laurie Handlers is a Tantra Teacher, Intimacy Coach and Spiritual Leader who is sharing her fantastic book with all attendees on Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy. We both gave seminars at The Hedonism 11 Resort in Jamaica to a fun group and she’s a dynamic speaker and healer.

One of Love Univ’s graduates is Jacqui Rubinoff, who is a Certified Love Coach and Entrepreneur with a line of pheromones that can help people to connect with each other. We worked together developing pheromone infused jewelry that is available on her Eye of Love website and she’s going to give away a pheromone infused necklace to one lucky raffle winner.

I’m excited to announce that one of the panelists is going to be Heather Montgomery, Founder and CEO of PleazeMe, a powerful and passionate Sexpert who is taking the largest sex positive platform by storm with her innovators and educators of sexual wellness.

A panel on Sexual Healing wouldn’t be complete without a Sexological Body Worker, Sabrina Jackson is also a Certified Love Coach and Certified Massage Therapist, who dedicates her work to helping people through trauma with holistic her healing solutions. She is giving away a 45-minute virtual session on breathwork for healing to one lucky raffle winner.

Alina Vegara is also a graduate of Love Univ and works as a Certified Love Coach through her professional website Ace of Hearts, which is founded to help people find and maintain love. She is also a professional matchmaker and is giving away a Free Coaching Consultation to a lucky raffle winner.

Our moderator will be Tamara Bell, Love Univ’s Student Ambassador and Mentor, founder of HPPPA and Certified Love Coach since 2008. She’s excited about moderating this panel of Sexperts and will have some great questions to ask the panelists, but you can also send your questions in advance by signing up to register now to get fabulous FREE gifts!

https://www.loveuniv.com/sexpert-panel

 

“Sonic Flow” Delights Music Lovers Worldwide

Photo of Debra Shade, certified Clinical Sexologist

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE :

New Release: “Sonic Flow” Curated by Debra Shade Delights Music Lovers Worldwide

Columbus, Ohio – Get ready to immerse yourself in a captivating pleasure journey as “Sonic Flow,” a remarkable new single curated by the brilliant Debra Shade, ABS, ACS, was dropped on February 14, 2024. Brimming with talent and creativity, this release promises to deliver an extraordinary, exciting experience like no other.

“Sonic Flow” has been meticulously crafted by a team of incredible artists, including esteemed Voiceover artist Lorenzo G., exceptional vocalist Tiffany Ariel, and the brilliant composers, Weezee and The Libra Alchemy. Together, they have combined their immense talents to create a mesmerizing sound pleasure that promises to captivate listeners globally.

This single is a testament to the limitless possibilities and boundless creativity of immense pleasure via sound. Each artist’s contribution brings a unique flavor to the composition, resulting in an extraordinary blend of sonic textures, enchanting vocals, and innovative melodies. “Sonic Flow” is a true masterpiece that transcends genres, inviting listeners to embark on a transformative musical journey.

Debra Shade, an influential force in the arena of sex education, curated “Sonic Flow” with an unwavering commitment to providing a one-of-a-kind experience for anyone seeking methods to orgasm. Known for her delivery on the topic of orgasm, she uses a visionary approach to teach about methods for completing the sexual response cycle from a pleasure perspective. Debra Shade has assembled a team of exceptional talents who have pushed the boundaries of creativity to deliver something truly remarkable.

Starting February 14, 2024, “Sonic Flow” will be available on all major music platforms worldwide. Audiences across the globe can enjoy this astounding single, embracing its captivating sounds to raise the hairs on your body, your belly to tingle and maybe even tension lift from your body. Sound Orgasm. While it may not leave you exhausted from movement, it does create serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, the perfect storm of pleasure hormones.

“Sonic Flow” promises to tantalize your senses and release another way to bring pleasure into your day.

Listen for yourself on your favorite music platform drop a review, hit the like button, and save it in your favorites.

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Media Contact:

Nina Jones
PR Manager
224-306-2747
[email protected]

Tantra Sex Positions to Open Your Chakras

If you are looking for more intimacy and connection during sex with your partner, as well as balance your chakras, try these Tantra Sex Positions to enhance and integrate your divine feminine and masculine energies.

Tantra Sex Positions

Make a ritual to do these at least once a week with your lover and focus especially on weak or closed Chakras.

Rooted: Sit opposite your lover on the floor with legs crossed at the ankles, hold hands and look at each other as you tell your lover what makes you feel safe, grounded and confident.

Sexual Chakra: Sit opposite your lover on the floor with legs crossed at the ankles, lean in, hold hands and look at each other. Take turns speaking and listening as you share the following. When do you feel creative, sexually open and uninhibited?

Chakra Hug: Get into Yab Yum position; one lover in the other’s lap and press as many of your Chakras into each other as you can. Close your eyes and listen to each others breath for 2 minutes. Then discuss how this experience made you feel.

Intuition: Lean in, touch noses, join brows (third eye Chakras) and look into each others eyes until they appear to merge. Share an intuitive thought you’re having right now with your lover: “I love you and my intuition tells me that …. (finish the sentence)”.

Chakra Caress: Ask your lover to lie down and you kneel beside him/her. Gently caress each one of your lover’s charkas with your fingertips and express your adoration for each one.

Chakra Tune Up: Sit facing each other, ask your lover to close their eyes and take a deep breath. Ask your lover to respond to the following question for each of the following Chakras. Are you feeling strong or weak about your crown Chakra? Third Eye? Throat? Heart? Solar Plexis? Sacral? Root? Now alternate.

Confidence: Kneel in front of each other, hold hands and eye-gaze as you tell your lover what makes you feel confident and powerful.

Open Heart: Stand facing each other, heart to heart with arms around each other and take turns telling each other when you feel loving and compassionate.

Self Expression: Sit in a comfortable position facing each other, hold hands and eye-gaze. In two or three sentences, describe how you want other people to see and hear you.

Wisdom: Look at your lover in whatever position you are in, hold hands as you express one life lesson that you have learned.

Hip Circles: This exercise will open up your solar plexus, sacral and root Chakras. Stand up and face each other. With your knees bent slightly, push your pelvis forward; hands on hips. Now rotate your pelvis in large circles clock-wise 10 times and then counter-clock wise 10 times. Keep your head and feet still while moving only your pelvis area. Focus on opening up your sensuality.

Mind Over Matter: This stretching exercise will open up your crown, third eye and throat Chakras. Lie down flat on your back on a hard surface like the floor with your feet touching. Then raise your head, shoulders and back to a seated position. Place your hands on your hips or on the floor if you need support and tip your head back looking up to the sky. Breathe deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth five times. Focus on opening up your mind.

Love Talk: Put your hand on your lover’s heart Chakra and tell him/her what you love most about them.

Should I date my best friend?

should i date my best friend
Featured image from Elle Hughes- Pexels

Isn’t friendship the same as love sans the sex? We learn more and more about the complexities of friendship everyday. Moreover, researches show that romantic relations based on friendship are usually the happiest and strongest.

The longer you know someone, the more they become attractive to you. Have you ever been around someone that you initially blew off as not your type but the longer you were around them, the more they appealed to you?

All relationships really need the foundations of a strong friendship in order to withstand everything that life throws at couples, including acts of god and the shit that we put each other through.

The most long-lasting and satisfying romantic relationships are the ones that are about more than sexual chemistry. I mean, it doesn’t hurt… but you can only have sex so many times a day. What happens when he can’t get it up anymore? A fun friendship with an attractive person can make you feel dumb for even questioning whether you should date or not.

Usually, something big needs to happen in order for one of you to finally take that step. A move to a different state, an engagement, something that is changing your lives forever anyway so if, the reaction isn’t what you expected, there’s nothing to lose.

So, how else do you know when it’s time approach your friend about your feelings?

1. The awkwardness is gone

He has seen you at your best: dolled up and how you want the world to see you. And at your worst: no makeup, baggy clothes, crying your eyes out. He knows that you feel comfortable with him and is well aware of your likes, dislikes, quirks and pet peeves. You are sure by now that he will not judge or criticize you.

3. You always have plans.

As buddies, you spend a lot of time together and do a lot of activities. As your friendship grows, you discover common interests and already know which activities you both enjoy. The beauty of this is that when you start dating, you simply continue the routine. You do not have to adapt to the interests of a new person in your life or change tastes once you are together.

4. They knows your life + goals

When someone falls in love with their best friend, the friend is usually someone that’s been around since school or college. He saw you working hard at your first shit jobs, borrowing money from friends or siblings to pay the rent for the next month. Your friend knows about your past, as well as future plans, career ambitions, and goals. He always supports and gives you good advice. You won’t have any disagreements about life ambitions because he has been with you from the moment you started dreaming about what you want out of life and love. This kind of understanding and encouragement is important for your individual growth, professional development, and your future as a supportive couple.

5. It is comfortable and feels right

When you reach a certain amount of comfort in a relationship, there is no need to impress one another, or to hide any feelings because you are shy or indecisive. Thanks to your friendship, you have already reached the level of comfort that some couples have only after a long time living together. You can say goodbye to fears or uncertainties, and it allows your relationship to develop in a harmonious way.

Warning: Be prepared to lose your friend if things don’t go how you planned. Plan the reveal carefully and remember that you may not be seeing all the potential problems that could entail dating your friend because you have only seen them through the rosy, friendship filter. The romantic-partner filter is a bit more complicated. Sex really changes a friendship, and if it doesn’t work out then you risk losing them forever, but if you think the reward is worth the risk, then shoot your shot.

Change your mind about dating your friend but still need a boost in your dating and sex life? Why not sign up for a new dating site to see who else is (or isn’t) out there? With so many new dating sites and apps out there, how do you choose one? 

Make sure you read 6 things to look for in a new dating site to help you narrow the field! 

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This article originally appeared on ElyShouldKnow

 

Gold For Your Treasure Box

Does your vagina smell like roses?

We all want to smell sweet down there but as you might already know most experts agree that douching is not the way to achieve the dream of having a rose garden between your legs. Women often believe it safely cleans the vagina and can prevent pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and vaginal odor. On the contrary douching can cause serious health complications. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that women should not douche siting research indicating that women who do are at increased risk of pelvic inflammatory disease.

Beware of synthetic lubes!

Remember the high school chemistry class on osmosis: our cells seek a state of equilibrium. Synthetic ingredients throw our cells off kilter due to osmolarity; to maintain balance on both sides of the cell wall, the cell releases water to dilute the sugar, glycerin, and other synthetic substances outside of the cells. This dehydrates the cell and causes cellular and epithelial damage to the vagina. Charlene S. Dezzutti, a professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences, reported that these substances make the “cells shrivel up to the point that they look like little raisins under a microscope.” Cellular raisins! It does not seem sensual to use a love lube that actually produces parched cellular raisins in the yoni.

So what do we do?!!

Sure we can maintain proper hygiene, workout, stick to a healthy diet, throw in some citrus fruits and probiotics, and wear clean (preferably cotton) comfortable underwear.. But what if we want more?!

Along comes… PUSSY BUTTER!

Rose Bush Butter is meant to help protect and restore balance so the body can come back into natural harmony. Pussy Butter is not only a way to give love and attention to the parts of us that need it the most. It is a way to nourish, protect, regenerate and soothe the most vulnerable part of the female body. Beyond the botanical benefits, it feels and tastes delicious!

Of course I had to know more so we brought in the founder of this epic creation.

What makes Pussy Butter unique?

It’s a unique balance between a nourishing self-care product and a yummy lubricant. Meticulously formulated to be non-greasy and long-lasting with the best quality, organic and tasty botanical oils, exquisite extracts and precious essences. The botanical benefits are phenomenal, we’ve seen it heal all kinds of ailments and skin irritations. It’s so creamy and delicious it literally makes me want to rub it all over my pussy; the sweet synergy between the cacao butter and rose creates an aromatic aphrodisiac.

How do you apply it?

Glide butter lovingly along pussy, lips, hips and tits to unravel Mother Nature’s sweet bliss. Best applied during self-care routine, after bathing, during massage and before love making. Best Uses:

• After bathing & yoni steaming
• As a cleanser (no water needed)
• Self-care rituals
• Intimate massage in feminine dryness remedies
• Breast massage
• Post & prenatal massage
• Anal massage
• Oral sex (yes – it’s safe for ingestion and YUMMY)
• Before & after love making
• After waxing & shaving
• Menopausal dryness & lubrication
• Nipple chaffing & dryness during breastfeeding

It tastes as good as it smells?

You’re going to have to try it for yourself! How could it not with all the yummy ingredients of cacao butter, coconut crème, pomegranate seed oil, raspberry seed oil, rose otto and so on…

The masterful effect of this creation is the beautiful “scentual” synergy that is uniquely unlocked for each women. The butter isn’t too strong, so it doesn’t override the yoni’s natural scent but adds the sweetest, most tantalizing touch.

How do you keep Pussy Butter from altering ph. levels?

Pussy Butter has been formulated to match a healthy vagina’s pH level (3.8 – 4.5). Therefore, it can help to balance the ph. Lubricants aren’t actually formulated in this way. Even one natural example is pure coconut oil, the alkalinity is so high – it will actually throw off healthy pH levels when used consistently. So it’s important to ensure whatever you’re using down there has the correct pH level.

Can it be used as a lubricant?

100%!! It is the best lubricant! Just keep in mind, with all oil based lubes – they aren’t recommended to use with latex condoms. I personally feel a little applied on the vulva during foreplay is fine with condoms.

Rose Bush Butter has been masterfully formulated with women’s wellness and sexual wellness in mind. Each ingredient has been consciously selected for the profound benefits and synergy within the formula. So, it not only smells and tastes like heaven, it makes you feel like heaven too.

What kind of benefits are there with consistent use?

We’ve had a lot of women heal ailments from yeast infections to hives with our product! Seriously, the butter is not only yummy, but it’s magic; it works to promote:

    • Firming
      • Elasticity
      • Anti-Aging
      • Protection
      • Soothing
      • Softening
      • Regeneration
      • Hydration
      • A Healthy pH Balance
      • Antibacterial, Antifungal, Antimicrobial
      • Feelings of Happiness, Love and Beauty
      • A Sensual Scent and Taste
      • Increased Sex Drive

Tell us about the Yoni juice cleanser!

The delicate vulvar area is meant to stay soap and surfactant free; that’s why we have created an all-in-one organic oil based vulvar cleanser and harmonizer. The Yoni Juice Cleanser is packed with abundant bio-active botanicals that balance pH, hydrate, refresh, tighten, tone and remove odor causing bacteria – this is the best way to stay fresh and balanced, without compromising the vagina’s natural micro-biome.

Meticulously formulated with the best quality, organic botanical oils, exquisite extracts and precious essences. Abundant avocado oil works to protect and nourish, while sweet raspberry, rose-hip and pomegranate pack a punch of juicy freshness for firming, elasticity and anti-aging. Golden Jojoba sinks in with serenity to bring balance and harmony; singing in resonance with sea buckthorn, which swells with over 190 bioactive substances infusing the skin with the upmost regeneration. Refreshing Grapefruit finishes with powerful phytochemicals that purify, tighten and tone.

What flavors/ scents does Pussy Butter come in?

Rose! It’s all about the medicine of the rose – there are 240 Roses impeccably extracted within our large jar, and 90 Roses in our small jar. We will likely have different options in the future, but we are keeping it simple with rose for now!

Some women would be offended if their significant other bought them an elliptical as a gift. What’s the best way to buy Pussy Butter for your partner without offending them?

It’s all about the context that you gift it to them in (life is always about the context). An amazing suggestion is to create a romantic date night out of it, pick-up some chocolate, roses and this little jar of heaven. Pussy Butter is like icing on the cake, the cake is delicious, but icing just makes it extra enjoyable 😉

Adds to cart*

rosebushbutter.com

@rose.bush.butter

My six week course, The Art Of Pickup is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you! Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! PlaymatePickup.com

 

The importance of sexual health education for senior adults

Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

During their young age, the current older people did not undergo sexual health education because STD cases were few, so they knew little to nothing about sexual health. The advancement of medical and overall health is prolonging the lives of these adults and boosting their sexual activities thanks to medications like Viagra.

With all these, healthcare providers should find a way of inducing sexual education to the elderly if they have not started already because, besides longer life and sexual drug enhancement, some of these adults are divorced, which puts them at risk of contracting the common STDs. 

With this ever-advancing medical technology, the risks of these adults acquiring STDs are increasing daily, and healthcare providers must discuss it before it worsens. Though most healthcare professionals say, the lack of sexual education in the elderly can be due to a lack of awareness of the risk, reluctance to open up, and social stigma.  

All said and done; these elderly needs to get sexual education because it will help them:

Limit the number of sexual partners

With sexual education, adults will realize the benefits of being in a monogamous and honest relationship to prevent contracting and spreading STDs. For those who are not practicing monogamy, healthcare providers can advise them to have a limited number of sexual partners. 

Consistently and correctly use a condom.

In sexual education, their healthcare providers will teach them how to correctly use a condom and the importance of consistently using it, as this will help them curb the spread of STDs.

Avoid sex while under the influence of alcohol or other abusive drugs

With sexual health, older adults will learn that practicing sex while under the influence is not safe sex because alcohol and these drugs impair judgment. They will know that under the influence, they cannot say no to unprotected sex which can put them at risk of contracting STDs.

Ensure they know each other’s STD status

Their healthcare providers will teach them to regularly get STD tests to know each other’s statuses when starting a relationship. This will help them avoid contracting STDs carelessly and put their partners at risk if they are positive.



Welcome to Playmate Pickup Podcast

Erika Jordan podcast

You can find Love Coach Erika Jordan in numerous videos on her YouTube channel. Also here on Sexpert.com with her Advice For Men series, SDC and endless other places. Now Erika Jordan is making a splash in the world of podcasts! Erika takes her life experience combined with education to help you navigate the world of love. Listen to her hilarious adventures in the world of sad dating all designed to help you avoid the same mistakes. From Erika’s many years starring on Playboy TV or touring the world as a NLP practitioner she’s coming at you with a steady stream of entertainment. If you have any sex or dating questions you can leave a comment below.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Beefcake Porn for Women: The Final Frontier for Feminist Porn

A few months ago, I was watching an old episode of The Phil Donahue Show that centered around the subject of adult entertainment. The show’s featured guests included the amazing screen goddesses Hyapatia Lee and Nina Hartley–both of whom spoke with grace and articulance about the emerging role of women as directors, writers and empowered actresses in XXX. One of the films discussed was Hartley’s comedy Debbie Does Dishes.

At one point in the show, a minor but audible commotion arose in the back of the studio as two female audience members rose to their feet.

“Why can’t it ever be Dave Does Dishes?” one woman asked. “Men are there in the movies, but they’re not highlighted.”

“Where are the men sex stars?” another demanded.

More than 30 years later, I as an erotica author, content creator and Feminist Sexpert have a definitive answer for these ladies.

“Your guess is as blasted good as mine.”

For while women have come so far in the adult industry, not only appearing in but writing and directing top quality couples features, I still believe that there remains a single unconquered territory in the vast world of femme porn: Beefcake porn for women.

If you visit the amazing website Hot Movies for Her, you will find many woman-positive movies. What you won’t find is a single DVD cover that features a pouty, barechested, smoky-eyed hunk ready to seduce his prospective female audience.

“But MEG!” You might be sighing at this point. “Women are different. They’re not as visual.”

Ah, but what do you find on the covers of romance novels geared toward women–including my own? That’s right!  A pouty, barechested, smoky-eyed hunk ready to seduce his prospective female audience.

In addition, male revues for women–including Chippendales, La Bare, Hollywood Men, Thunder Down Under, etc.–draw packed to capacity crowds. 

Yet in the realm of adult films, hardcore movies that feature male stars and male solo covers are overwhelmingly directed toward a gay male audience. And believe me, women notice.

As the onetime administrator of Fempower, a feminist porn blog, I proudly ran lists of winners for the Feminist Porn Awards each year. I also fielded responses from women asking why so many of the winners were lesbian titles, or straight films that still showcased the visual appeal of their female stars.

“If these films are made for women,” one reader wrote. “Why are we still looking at naked women?”

Of course these films deserve recognition; and, after all, it’s tough to honor films that pretty much don’t exist.

Or do they? Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as beefcake porn for women–it’s just that the titles are few and far between.

If anything, the softcore sphere has done a much better job of serving up beefcake for female viewers. The early 1990s brought us softcore classics like Cabin Fever, an older woman/younger man romance directed by Deborah Shames and starring Judd Dunning and Belinda Farrell. And of particular note is The Love Scenes series, a sumptuous set of four films that featured Playgirl models, male exotic dancers and beefcake models in extended softcore love scenes (hence the title) with women. The scenarios are an exercise in the concept, “Turnabout Is Fore Play,” depicting female photographers with male models, male strippers performing for a female audience of one, actors “auditioning” for female directors, etc.

Even mainstream features like American Gigolo and Thief of Hearts offered stories and visuals that aimed to satisfy female viewers.

Back in the hardcore realm, 1995’s The Fuckingdales On Tour starred gorgeous Australian adult star Gerry Pike (himself an ex-stripper) and chronicled the erotic adventures of a male revue as they entertained female groupies, in more ways than one. In 1987, the top male porn stars of the era made up the cast of The Touchables, about a male bordello for women. In 1986, Club Exotica claimed a male exotic dance club as its setting.

In the early 2000s, the adult industry seemed to be headed in the right direction, thanks to Playgirl and Inpulse studios. (Full disclosure: I worked for Playgirl and wrote the back cover copy for their Erotic Encounters and Private Pleasures DVDs–go, me!) Both studios flipped the script in brilliant fashion, showcasing its male talent on its covers and releasing showcase titles featuring major porn studs (Jean Val Jean and Niko for Playgirl, Julian and Evan Stone for Inpulse). And Playgirl titles were directed exclusively by women, including my friend and mentor Kelly Holland.

 

 

 

 

Adam and Eve released a gem in 2000 with Hardbound, in which Hartley starred with the gorgeous Dale Dabone in an adult romantic comedy advertised in Playgirl with the use of Dabone’s picture. In 2003, Candida Royalle’s Stud Hunters centered around a female director’s search for the perfect porn stud.

An interesting case is presented in the form of 2002’s For Women Only, part one. Directed by Cameron Rose, this is a sexy and romantic vignette film that explores women’s fantasies. It’s an excellent erotic film in itself, but also calls attention to the issue at hand in the form of its DVD cover–which features a buncha naked women.

“Many of us female viewers have long wondered why the front covers rarely include photographs of men, or at the very least, photographs of partners which display the men as prominently as the women,” wrote reviewer YogaGrrl in her review for the film at Adult DVD Talk (1). Still she said the film pleased her inner goddess–and that goes ditto for me.

The fab Anna Span brought us Be My Boy Toy in 2010. In 2011, the amazing feminist adult filmmaker Petra Joy gave us The Female Voyeur, all about men performing to the satisfaction of women. In 2014, the awesome Ms. Naughty’s The Fantasy Project brought us a Clothed Female Naked Male cover and a rich, hot exploration of female fantasies. Erika Lust has made several contributions to this favored porn genre of mine.

And from the early to mid 2000s, director/actress Tina Tyler gave us a hand with The Handyman series, which featured hot male solo scenes for women. Then in 2015, Wicked released a hardcore parody of Magic Mike XXL, Magic Mike XXXL (see what they did there, Folks?). Lately, though, it seems to me that even films directed at women seem to boast females in lingerie on the DVD covers–and often in ropes or ties, which I have a lot to say about, as well. But that’s another blog.

For now, I say that the feminist porn oeuvre is not complete without some steamy hot servings of beefcake. What do you say, Ladies?

Also, a memo to the adult industry: Dave Does Dishes. Make it happen!

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  1. https://www.adultdvdtalk.com/review/for-women-only-1-girls-on-guys

 

I Got to Thinking……. Let Me Reintroduce Myself

Photo of Debra Shade, certified Clinical Sexologist

I have been submitting blogs for Sexpert.com for quite some time now. I got to thinking about all of the new readers who have stumbled across this blog. Especially folks who are looking to find out about creating the perfect orgasm. Let me reintroduce myself. I am Debra Shade, I am a Board-Certified Clinical Sexologist and Master Sexpert, and my area of concentration for the last twelve years has been studying the art of orgasm.

I am located in Columbus Ohio, and I absolutely love it. I own a Sexual Wellness center called Shades Oasis and have a private practice in which I consult individuals and couples. I offer a safe space for humans who are looking to have a human experience. I propose that there is a need for modern-day sex education. Education steeped in valid information about sex for pleasure. Did you know that pleasurable sex can lead to an orgasm? It does, , completing the sexual response cycle has been my passion, so of course I write about it, deliver workshops and seminars about it. I provide consultations on helping folks through barriers to orgasm.

I continue to travel the country delivering orgasm education at expos and conferences for audiences of all sizes and all inclusive. In addition to whole-body sexual wellness, I provide yoga, massage, mindfulness, and tantara practioniers being essential for the mind, body and spirit, I creatively deliver education on pleasurable physical intimacy. I concentrate on fourteen orgasmic acts that create a perfect storm of hormones and chemicals to give whole-body wellness. You will find that my blogs carry this message. Completing the sexual response cycle reduces stress, tension, lowers blood pressure and cortisol levels. Believe it, the more intense (pleasurable), the release is, the more the benefits from oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine, yes dopamine, the same hormone released when you are on a “substance high,” flow through the body lowering the risk of heart attack, acts as an antihistamine and more. With knowledge about the anatomy and positions that include folks who are identified as disabled, handicapped or mentally ill. All sexual beings are able to have intercourse, but all participants need to have medical clearance to participate in practicum.

Practicing three orgasms a week will create and/or improve whole body health through the lowering of blood pressure and cortisol levels, lowers risk of heart attack, reduces pain, depression and acts as an antihistamine. The hormones released also aid in digestion, sleep, bone health and the feelings of pleasure, relaxation and stress reduction. Having the knowledge to create various orgasms and varied levels of intensity can help humans explore the prescription of orgasms for whole-body health benefits. I prescribe three orgasms a week to achieve several of these benefits depending on your current health status, completing the sexual response cycle often can provide sexual wellness.

That is a piece of me, but you have to come back to collect this information. I look forward to sharing with you information that you can put into practice immediately. You can join me on Wednesdays at noon for a Brown Bag Lunch virtual workshop on varied topics. (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/499838449257) You can feel free to drop me a question at debrashade.com and follow me @shadeyontop IG, TW, FB, TT #PatreonComingSoon