Sunday, April 19, 2026

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.

How to Pick the Right Vibrator for You

Your friend recommended a vibrator once.  You bought it, but it did nothing for you and for the price you paid you felt like it was a huge waste of money that could have been better spent on a night out. Except you keep hearing people talk about their favorite vibes and you just wish you had one that you loved too. Unfortunately, the market is saturated with so many options they all blend together.  Where do you even start??

Well, I can’t guarantee there won’t still be some trial and error, but here are some tips to help you better understand what you’re looking at.

  1. How versatile do you want it to be?

There are toys for just about any body part you can imagine, so that’s an easy place to start your quest. Do you want it for solo play or partnered sex or both? Do you want it to stimulate the clitoris, penis, labia, perineum, vaginal walls, prostate, g-spot, testicles, nipples, or multiple spots at once? Some toys are simple and versatile like “bullet” vibes which can be handheld against most any sensitive spot and though most should be used externally only (not a trip to the hospital you want to take), if they have a smooth coating that covers the cord as well as the bullet then they may be fun for vaginal use too. Don’t insert anything anally unless it has a wide bumper, so you don’t lose it. Another example of versatility is the Pulse vibe for penises that can even be used while flaccid and for non-penetrative rubbing against a partner’s genitals. And while versatility is nice, sometimes the best toys are ones that are designed for a single job, and they do that job really well.  The Womanizer (yes that’s the name and I wish they had come up with something else) does one thing – it uses pulsing air to create a sensation like intense sucking directly on the glans of the clitoris and after that toy hit the market all other brands scrambled to duplicate it.

  1. High Frequency or Low Frequency?

People assume that power is just high and low and while that’s an important aspect to consider, so is frequency. High frequency vibes flutter fast and mostly provide surface stimulation. If you are very sensitive or like to take your time with a slowly building tease, especially for direct contact with the glans, then high frequency may be your friend. With high frequency, if you press harder, you actually get less stimulation because the vibration is absorbed by the tissues. High frequency vibes may also require less battery power and may only need tiny button batteries. Low frequency vibes give you more of a thudding deep tissue sensation and if you press harder with them, they may resonate through your whole body. The classic Hitachi wand is a great example of low frequency vibration. If you need a lot of stimulation to climax or want to climax multiple times, low frequency is the way to go.

  1. Do you want patterns and pulsation?

While some toys are just power up and power down, others provide a variety of patterns and pulsation settings. When you are giving and taking away stimulation your body doesn’t know what to expect next and it can be fun and exciting to feel the thrill taken away again and again. If you like to make your play time last, patterns can keep the stimulation intense and if you feel your arousal dropping you can just switch to a new pattern and keep going. You may find your climax through the patterns, or when you’re ready to finish the job just flip it to solid vibration and ride it home.

  1. What materials are right for you?

Lots of people pick the material of their toys based on their budget, but there are other important factors to consider. The best materials for sex toys are non-porous. This means they are easy to clean and are less likely to harbor bacteria. Glass and metal are excellent options, but don’t usually vibrate. Silicone is the preferred material for vibes but be careful! There are tons of knock-off brands that claim to be silicone, but I had a friend get a chemical burn from one of those and I promise you, that is NOT a place you want a chemical burn. Other toy materials may actually melt in high heat or direct sunlight or when touching other toys and that is not a fun surprise in your toy box come August. This is where name-brand toys are actually worth the money and buying from a reputable adult store or direct from the manufacturer will reduce your risks. True silicone is soft, opaque, non-porous, and has a melting point of over 700 degrees so it holds its shape and is the best option for any orifice. And don’t forget about texture! Some people enjoy ridges and bumps while others prefer smooth and slick.

  1. Batteries or Rechargeable?

The biggest advantage of battery-operated toys is being able to quickly switch out the batteries if your toy dies on you mid coitus. Of course, this assumes you HAVE extra batteries on hand. If not, you find yourself pilfering your kid’s robot collection or borrowing from the remote control just to finish. Unfortunately, batteries can also leak battery acid and corrode the inside of your toy if you don’t take the batteries out between uses, especially if you use your toys infrequently. Rechargeable toys may require a little forethought to make sure they are fully charged and ready to go, but they usually last a long time, provide more consistent and reliable power, don’t cost anything extra in replacement batteries, and often use a USB charger so you can plug them into your portable backup phone charger rather than leaving them out on your nightstand.

  1. Waterproof for water fun!

Sometimes the only privacy you get is in the shower or bath. In these cases, a waterproof toy is the way to go. If you find a toy that’s fully submersible, then you can lay back in that bath and take your time. Other toys may be fine for the shower or for easy cleaning in the sink but aren’t designed to go underwater. Be sure you know which one you’ve got. Either way if you have kids or roommates and you don’t want to explain the vibe you left sitting next to the shampoo bottle, hang your toy bag on the inside doorknob or block the door with your toy box so you don’t forget to grab your vibe before you walk out.

I hope these tips will help you in your erotic adventures and be sure to pair your vibe with a quality water-based lubricant and try out an enhancement cream or two to make the arousal process easier and the orgasms more intense. Happy shopping!

6 Tips Boost Your Confidence This Summer

Photo by Calvin Lupiya
You’ve spent all winter (and spring) saying you were going to get back in the gym to ensure you could show off your body all summer… yet here we are… a few days into Summer, and the only workout you’ve done was 15 reps of lifting that spoonful of ice cream to your mouth.
It’s ok! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Life has changed drastically for all of us over the past couple of years.
We were thrown into a world of social isolation, remote working, and future uncertainty resulting from the unexpected pandemic caused by COVID. For the past two years, you’ve binged on snacks and unhealthy eating habits that pulled you further and further away from #bodygoals. You were adamant that you would get it together “soon” because you have so many cute outfits and swimsuits you haven’t been able to wear, and you HAVE to show them off this year. And with more people getting vaccinated daily, we knew the world would open up again by summertime. Now that time has come, you’ve got your vacation getaways all lined up, and you and your friends are ready to catch flights and not feelings all hot girl summer… BUT… now you’re feeling a little conscious about your body, and you’re trying to figure out how to lose weight and whip your body into shape like yesterday, right?
You aren’t alone.
Body confidence may be difficult to achieve, regardless of size. It’s so simple to compare ourselves to others while becoming progressively dissatisfied with the portions of our bodies we despise the most. Of course, this lowers our self-esteem even further and might influence our closest relationships while also ruining vacation mood.
Stop sweating yourself! You do NOT have to be a “Negative Nancy” or “Bitter Betty,” I’ve got you covered.
Here are 6 tips boost your confidence this summer:

1) Get to know, love, and appreciate your body. Avoiding the mirror and trying not to glance down in the shower will just make the situation worse down the line. Instead, spend some time looking in the mirror at your naked self. Really take a good, long look at your body. Take your time exploring and admiring every curve and crevice in the mirror.

Every day, mention something good about a part of your body. Begin by verbally emphasizing what you love and appreciate. When you get to the sections you don’t like, try to think of anything positive about them. If you can’t think of anything, you’ll need to figure out why you dislike that area so much and make a note of it so you can start acting to change your thoughts on those parts.
This will begin to alter the way your mind perceives your body. Remember that you are your own worst critic, and things aren’t always as bad as they appear to you.

2) Dress the part. You will gain confidence by putting effort into your appearance. When you’re happy, it shows in the way you carry yourself. Wear lingerie or clothing that makes you feel sexy. Not sure how to find something sexy you’re confident wearing? Trying to focus on pieces that flatter your figure or highlight the parts that you do love.

3) Get up and get moving. Health is wealth. What are you doing for your health? Exercising for as little as 30 minutes a day builds endurance, improves stamina, and — you guessed it, can improve your mood, energy, make you feel lighter. If you have gym anxiety, you can dance around the house, walk through your neighborhood, play outdoors with the kids, or indoors with your partner (wink). Overall, you will not only feel better, but you will also begin to feel more confident.
4) Celebrate more than your physical self. It’s difficult to remove yourself from judgment in a society when looking like an IG model and being shaped like a coke bottle appears to be the new standard, and photo likes on social media are how popularity is calculated.
This is why we should also focus on the non-physical aspects of ourselves. Are you artistic or crafty? Do you know how to yodel? Are you excellent with money? What about style? Maybe you’re incredibly hilarious. Whatever you are or can achieve, remember that you are more than a physical body, and your value extends far beyond a scale (or that skimpy 2-piece bikini you’ve been holding on to as motivation). Whether we realize it or not, these factors have a significant impact on our level of confidence.
5) Talk to your friends. It’s easy to believe that we’re the only ones who are unhappy with our bodies. However, you’d be amazed how many of your friends struggle with body image issues as well. You would also be surprised at where their insecurities lie, especially if it’s something you believed they were fully confident about.
Connecting with your friends on such intimate topics can strengthen your relationship with them, and just talking about these matters can help boost your confidence.
6) Stop comparing yourself to others. When we look at others, we often compare their best traits to our worst. We focus on their accomplishments while overlooking our own, leaving us feeling inferior. This is an unrealistic comparison that might exacerbate your anxieties and lack of self-confidence.
When you start comparing yourself to others, you take away your joy and confidence. Because of human nature, I realize this is easier said than done. Don’t be concerned with how others appear or what they own. Instead, concentrate on your self-worth and strive to improve yourself every day. Don’t hold yourself to the standards of others; rather, set your own. Be true to yourself. Accept yourself for who you are.
There is no such thing as a “perfect” summer body. In reality, the notion of a summer body was created as a way for advertising companies to sell weight-loss products, cosmetic surgeries, fashion and beauty items. Rise beyond the desire for self-criticism and accept yourself as the amazing person that you are.

Lana’s Legacy: The Feminist Sexpert remembers Lana Clarkson

Lana Clarkson shone like a star in the heavens, her strength, talent, beauty and charm igniting and glorifying every role she played. An actress. A singer. A Stuntwoman. She did it all.

Sadly, when one looks up Lana’s name on the Internet, they see only the end of her story. She was murdered by a horrid individual who just happened to be famous. He is meaningless and unimportant. His name will not be mentioned anywhere in this column. But again, sadly, Lana’s mother recently told the LA Times that she fears her daughter’s memory will be forever linked to he who is unimportant and shall not be named. 

Well, Donna Clarkson, worry no more. We love Lana. And we got your back.

Aside from my writing about feminist erotica, I’ve also written extensively about softcore, B and indie movies, for sites that include the fantastic Fangirltastic, Planet Fury and Cinema de Bizarre. If I could cite a common link among actresses who appear in adult productions, and those who appear in “B” movies, it’s the lack of respect that they sometimes receive from the general public.

Yes, “B” movies are frequently R-rated and contain nudity and sexual situations. Yet as a good number of these films feature female lead characters, they also feature some of the strongest characterizations of women on a mission that one will ever see.

This is certainly the case with Barbarian Queen, in which Lana Clarkson shines in the title role as a warrior woman who took no crap or prisoners–protecting her people and liberating them from oppressive forces; and in the film’s sequel, Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back. And in Deathstalker, she played another warrior woman who stands toe to toe with a male warrior.

Although some may consider these films to be exploitation flicks, the fact is that Barbarian Queen predated Xena, the wrestling Divas,Thelma and Louise, and the modern incarnation of Captain Marvel–indeed, Lana paved the way!

In addition, much has been made of the fact that she appeared in the classic teen sex comedy Fast Times at Ridgemont High–less has been made of her appearances on truly classic films, ranging from Scarface to My Favorite Year. On TV, she appeared in The Love Boat, Three’s Company, Hotel and The Jeffersons. She showed off her comic chops in the classic cult comedy Amazon Women on the Moon, and her versatility as a stuntwoman in Retroactive and a vocalist as a soundtrack artist on the Knight Rider television series.

After her death, Lana Clarkson has been made a victim across mass media. For most of her life, Lana Clarkson’s talents were overshadowed by her status as a sex symbol–a status that, according to B movie expert Joe Bob Briggs, she often decried. But in life and death, she is a wonder, a marvel, a queen–and Donna Clarkson’s little girl.

As Joe Bob wrote in his UPI tribute to Lana Clarkson, “She’s a heroine, and not because she was the Barbarian Queen.”

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Why Women Choose Masturbation Over Sex: Is it More Fun

Whether there is a partner or not, sometimes lying in bed desire like a flood swept you will masturbate? The advantages of masturbation and general sex are different and bring different good feelings, so what are the benefits of masturbation than having sex?

The threshold is very low

Boyfriend? No need, Contraceptive measures? No need, complicated position changes? No need. You don’t even need to care how another person is feeling before and after you do it to embrace the most comfortable time of sexual bliss. Masturbation requires very little preparation, as long as a bed, a few comfortable pillows, and sometimes sex toys are also very good options. If you have not used the gadgets, then I recommend you try the rose adult toy, definitely give you a wonderful masturbation.  

Just need to please yourself

The trouble with sex is that it is also considered a kind of human interaction, you need to take into account the feelings of another person. In order not to let each other sad, you may have to tell a little lie, pretend to scream or perform a little orgasm, the end of the whole round with a stage play as tired.

But masturbation is different, you only need to please yourself is enough, when to start and when to end, the pace can also be controlled. You don’t have to worry about the little embarrassment at the end of the day, you don’t have to worry about being turned down for sex, and you don’t have to go through all the trouble of dressing up beforehand.

Yes, some people are so unlucky to run into one or two unqualified bed partners, infected with STDs and still have sex with you. Although sometimes the other party is also quite innocent, may be inadvertently in the dirty public toilet infected, but in the end is the two people together bad luck. When masturbating, you don’t have to worry about the risk of contracting a disease! Unless you do not clean the prop, it is basically quite safe and hygienic.

You know your own body best

Yes, you are your own master, you know how to make yourself climax, where the sensitive zones are located, do not need to bother to guide another person to reacquaint yourself with your body.

Because fantasy is always much better than reality

You know, when masturbating, you can put any object you like in your head, but when sleeping with someone else, it’s embarrassing if you can’t help but call them by the wrong name! If you have a good sex life with your significant other, of course, it’s good, but if it’s not that enjoyable, it’s better to have a little fantasy on your own than to flunk the sex.

 If you haven’t tried to enjoy masturbation, you haven’t enjoyed the best part of your life! Anyway, it’s great to be able to make your beloved partner feel happy through sex, but also to pamper yourself at the right time, after all, like masturbation is so simple and low cost to enjoy the act of orgasm, everyone should try it! If you have a need for sex toys can go officialtherosetoy to buy.

Healing From Loss & Abuse: Loving Solutions to Live Your Life to the Fullest for Victims of Grief, Trauma, Assault & Sexual Harassment

Photo from:eOdg3sjaRBerCbWOL8YB_shutterstock_1173129871.jpg
In her book: Healing From Loss & Abuse: Loving Solutions to Live Your Life to the Fullest for Victims of Grief, Trauma, Assault & Sexual Harassment, Dr. Ava Cadell, details her own survival from sexual abuse, rape, and sexual trafficking, as well as her work with clients and offers powerful exercises and tools for survivors.

This book is absolutely comprehensive and has detailed information on several types of abuse, loss and trauma set into separate chapters including:

  • Healing from Loss
  • Healing from Pain
  • Healing from Disease or Disability
  • Healing from Accidents
  • Healing from Sexual Dysfunction
  • Healing from Toxic Relationships
  • Healing from Addictions
  • Healing from Sexual Abuse

Each chapter talks about the type of trauma in detail and offers various solutions for dealing with these issues including healing exercises, talk therapy, journaling, mediation, breathing exercises, tantra, chakra meditations, sound therapy and much, much more.

Here is a break down of the chapters and what is included.

Healing From Grief

In this chapter Dr. Ava describes her experience after loosing her soul mate and ways to deal with grief and loss.

Some of the exercises that Dr. Ava recommends includes: Breathing exercises, meditation, journaling exercises, ways to cope with grief, as well as ways to support others who are grieving and more.

Healing From Pain

Dr. Ava has also suffered from chronic pain and goes into detail on how to deal with pain, including sex and intimacy for pain relief.

“Everyone experiences pain, and each individual deals with managing it in their own way. Pain is an obstacle to intimacy because it can feel isolating, but ironically sometimes intimacy and sex can help to heal pain by creating positive feelings that translate into the mind-body connection. Looking at pain from a different prospective is one of life’s challenges that can make you stronger.”

Some of the solutions that Dr. Ava offers includes: water therapy, humor therapy, animal therapy, hug therapy, yoga and other movement exercises, as well as intimate and loving touch, and sex.

Sex for Pain Relief: The body’s pain-killing center in the midbrain is activated during sex and peak arousal, which releases endorphins, oxytocin and corticosteroids. These numb the raw nerve endings responsible for pain.

Healing from Disease or Disability

In this section of the book, Dr. Ava exposes the myths surrounding sexuality and people with disabilities, and describes 7 keys on how to have intimacy after a serious illness or surgery.  She also provides specific strategies for recreating intimacy after sex and heart disease, sex and a stroke, sex and cancer (including prostate cancer), after hysterectomies, diabetes, impotence, multiple sclerosis, HIV and AIDS.

Healing from Accidents

In this chapter, Dr. Ava includes spinal cord injuries and how sex is still possible, pleasurable and fulfilling. She also includes advice for those who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Healing from Sexual Disfunction

This part of the book deals with sexual disfunctions, a widespread topic that many men and women suffer from. It includes a variety of symptoms which can be healed including painful intercourse, delayed and premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction. Here, she offers many techniques including Tantra as well as exercises to aid with ED.

Healing from Toxic Relationships

Everyone has had to deal with some sort of toxic relationship in their life. In this chapter, Dr. Ava describes different types of abuse and toxic relationships including dealing with narcissists and psychopaths, as well as how to know you are in this type of relationship and what you can do to protect yourself. She also gives advice on how to heal from divorce, a very common experience for many people these days.

Healing from Addictions

Many people suffer from addictions, including alcohol and drug abuse which are common problems, especially when people are trying to self-medicate due to trauma, abuse, tragedy or illness. In this section Dr. Ava provides many solutions and exercises for healing and recovery.

Healing from Past Sexual Abuse

This chapter is very close to Dr. Ava’s heart, as she details her own personal survival and recovery from rape and sex trafficking as a child. Inspired by the #MeToo movement, this section helps survivors deal with their trauma and release their pain through strategies and exercises, including a valuable exercise on how to confront someone who is sexually harassing you.

The book concludes with pages and links to resources and references for further information, a valuable resource in its own right.

This book is outstanding, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has suffered loss, grief, or any type of trauma, or if you know someone who has (which is everyone), as a practical guide to healing and recovery. This compassionate and comprehensive guide, is chalk full of 218 pages of useful healing and self-love strategies, revealing how trauma can open our hearts to connection, love and living a happy life again.

While this book is a must-have for survivors of trauma, it should also be required reading for grief counselors, therapists, social workers, sex educators, medical professionals and support groups.

A true gift!

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The Girls Of Rick’s Cabaret Make Their Predictions

Pretty much everybody across the globe will be glued to their TVs, tablets, and phones come March 10th, when the 96th Academy Awards airs. And like movie fans everywhere, the girls of Rick’s Cabaret New York make predictions on who is going home with a golden statue on Hollywood’s biggest night.

“Red, black, and certainly pink are my favorite colors for the lingerie I strip out of,” says Rick’s dancer Kelly. “So, it’s a ‘Barbie’ pink year at the Oscars for me!”

“Robert Downey Jr. ‘Best Supporting Actor’, definitely!” Tanya squeals. “I have had a crush on him for like, well…ever!”

”Freaking ‘Oppenheimer’ was so fantastic,” dancer Miranda offers. “It’s got to take home the ‘Best Picture’ Oscar.”

What’s also fantastic is the high-class entertainment the NASDAQ-listed mid-Manhattan Rick’s offers until 4 am every night. With its in-house steakhouse, drink specials, VIP suites, and 100+ dancers appearing each day, Rick’s wins its own Oscar every night…for Best Gentleman’s Club on the planet!

“Oscar Sunday lots of us ladies will be doing what we do best here at the club…entertaining our wonderful guests,” dancer Kelly says. “But yes, like everybody else, we girls like to see if our Academy Award predictions come true.”

Rick’s Cabaret New York is located at 50 W. 33rd Street, in New York City, one block from Madison Square Garden.

Ways to Empower Women to Connect with Their Bodies

Photo taken from: https://osuga.com/

Ways to Empower Women to Connect with Their Bodies and Explore Their Own Path to Experiencing Pleasure

Women are often bombarded with mixed messages about their bodies and sexuality. While society increasingly acknowledges the importance of body positivity and sexual empowerment, many women still struggle to develop a connection with their own bodies and explore their unique paths to pleasure. This journey is deeply personal and transformative, requiring self-awareness, education, and the dismantling of societal taboos. In this article, we will explore how to help every woman develop a deep connection with their body and navigate their own path to pleasure.

Understanding the Importance of Body Connection

Self-Awareness:

Self-awareness is the foundation of a strong connection with one’s body. It involves understanding how your body feels, what it needs, and how it responds to various stimuli. Many women have been conditioned to ignore or suppress their bodily sensations, leading to a disconnect that can manifest in various ways, including low self-esteem, anxiety, and a lack of sexual fulfillment.  

Body Positivity:

Body positivity is a movement that encourages acceptance and love for all body types, shapes, and sizes.  Encouraging body positivity involves more than just promoting diverse images in media; it requires active open talks about self-worth and beauty. Women need to be reminded that their value is not determined by their appearance and that they are deserving of love and respect. This mindset shift can open the door to a deeper, more authentic connection with one’s body.

Exploring Personal Paths to Pleasure

Education and Knowledge:

One of the biggest barriers to exploring personal pleasure is a lack of education. Many women are not taught about their bodies’ anatomy, sexual health, or the wide range of experiences that can bring pleasure. This gap in knowledge can lead to feelings of shame, confusion, or frustration. Sexual education is crucial in empowering women to explore their own paths to pleasure. When women understand how their bodies work and what feels good for them, they are better equipped to explore their desires without fear or embarrassment.

Breaking the Taboos:

Society often places taboos around female pleasure, creating a culture of silence and shame. These taboos can make it difficult for women to talk openly about their desires or seek out the experiences that bring them joy. Women should be encouraged to express their desires, ask questions, and seek out information without fear of judgment. By normalizing discussions about pleasure, we can help women feel more comfortable exploring what feels good to them.

Self-Exploration:

Photo taken from: https://osuga.com/

Self-exploration is a key component of developing a connection with one’s body and discovering what brings pleasure. This exploration can take many forms, from solo activities like masturbation to experimenting with different types of touch, fantasies, or sexual practices.  Osuga, a company founded in 2019 helps women recognize, accept, and explore themselves. They prioritize design and quality in everything they create, aiming to build a sexual wellness brand that goes beyond stereotypes.  They have a wide range of toys that fit any woman’s sexual needs, such as the OSUGA Flow Triple Stimulation for Clitoris, Urethral and G-spot and other innovative items.

Mindfulness and Sensuality:

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the current moment. When applied to the body, mindfulness can enhance physical sensations and deepen the connection between mind and body. This practice is especially powerful in the context of exploring pleasure, as it encourages women to focus on what feels good without distraction or judgment. 

Communication and Intimacy:

Exploring pleasure is not just an individual journey; it also involves communication and intimacy with partners. Women need to feel comfortable discussing their desires and boundaries with their partners, as well as exploring new experiences together, such as incorporating sexual aides without feeling judged by their partners.   Partners can also play a supportive role by being attentive, respectful, and willing to explore new experiences together.

Creating Supportive Communities

Building a Support Network:

Support networks provide a safe space for women to talk about their journeys without fear of judgment. They can also offer valuable resources, such as books, workshops, or expert advice, to help women along their paths. By fostering a sense of community, women can feel less isolated and more empowered in their exploration of pleasure.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

Sometimes, women may need professional guidance to help them navigate their connection with their bodies or explore their paths to pleasure. This could involve seeing a therapist who specializes in sexual health, a sex coach, or a body positivity advocate.

Overcoming Challenges

Addressing Body Shame:

Many women have internalized negative messages about their bodies from a young age, leading to feelings of inadequacy or self-loathing. Overcoming body shame is a gradual process that involves challenging these negative beliefs and replacing them with positive, affirming ones.  

Navigating Societal Pressures:

Societal pressures to conform to certain beauty standards or sexual norms can make it difficult for women to embrace their bodies and explore their desires.  To navigate societal pressures, women need to cultivate a strong sense of self and prioritize their own needs and desires over external expectations.

Conclusion

Helping women develop a connection with their body and explore their own path to pleasure is a multifaceted journey that requires education, self-awareness, and support. By promoting body positivity, breaking down societal taboos, and encouraging self-exploration, can empower women to embrace their bodies and discover what brings them joy. This journey is deeply personal and unique to everyone, but with the right resources and community, every woman can find her own path to pleasure and fulfillment.

Photo taken from: https://osuga.com/

Visit Osuga, where their mission is to empower every woman to forge a deeper connection with their own body and explore new levels of pleasure that are uniquely theirs.  With a vision is to offer a positive, joyful, and beautiful sexual experience, while also being socially responsible and committed to sustainable development. They believe that sex is a beautiful, natural experience, and strive to inspire every woman to embrace it with confidence. Through their innovative designs and commitment to quality, they strive to create a relaxed world where every woman can confidently embrace her individuality and experience the joy of self-discovery.

Saying “NEXT”: When Fired From A Sex Writing Job…

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Saying “NEXT”: When Fired From A Sex Writing Job, When Losing Your Fuck-Buddy, To Life In General

I lost a job today (well, by the time you read this, a few weeks may have gone by). I feel kinda shitty about it; I have to be honest. As much because I always need the work as the fact that I now, once again, doubt my abilities. There are a whole host of reasons why I failed to make a connection with this client, an adult toy site, and I can rationalize all I like. My contact, who has been aces with me all along, took lots of the blame herself, claiming miscommunication and her bosses not really laying out what they needed from the get-go, so she, in turn, couldn’t relate those exact needs to me. Still, I feel kinda icky.

But I know I need just to say “NEXT.”

This might just be the hardest lesson we come to as freelancers, and I don’t mean only freelance sex writers; this “NEXT” rule we could probably all learn to hone to a fine edge. By all means, I am not saying not to reflect on why something didn’t work out, not learn from mistakes you made, not to delve back into the well and consider your skills, but if you are not able to at least whisper a ‘next’ and flow past the rejection, you might just get too weighed down by that rejection.

Which I feel myself indeed slipping into even now as I write this. But writing, as it usually does for me, is therapeutic and helps me to work this all out.

image from luxstorm from pixabay

The good thing about moving forward is… you move forward. You set yourself in motion for something coming down the pike you can’t even predict. I’m not saying it will be better or worse if and when you find some other guy or girl to take the place of the fuck-buddy who no longer wants you, when you find another job beyond that employer who has fired you, that you will come to love the game anew when your chess club revokes your yearly membership. I’m just saying that if you’re able to say “NEXT” at those instances when you are rejected for whatever reason, you will be ready to snatch, grab and maybe even make a more robust pass at whatever is coming.

And something is always coming.

Another powerful aspect of the “NEXT” and certainly something I am feeling mostly here, even stronger than the rejection, is that I am no longer fence-sitting. In the two weeks, I was surfing the logistics of my new working assignment, had delivered and been paid for the work, I had an uneasy feeling that things were not so hunky-dory. You know how you can sense these things, right? Even in the face of my contact telling me she liked my work, I felt unease as the weeks passed with how long it was taking for the powers-that-be to get back to me when, in the first week, the work was coming fast and furious, and my contact was riding me a bit to get things done. I might no longer have the job, but I am no longer working this worry, this fence-sitting of “Is everything ok, or is it not?” that I seem to have been right on the money about.

I also made sure to thank my contact, assure her that she and I are all good (which we are), and to tell her that, if things change, if they want to give me another chance, I am here for further consideration. And I am. I don’t hold grudges or look to spank someone later (well, maybe in my bedroom play, but that’s another story). I know you can’t un-ring a bell, and I would say it’s a 99% certainty that I won’t hear back from her about another job or further work from her higher-ups, but I am indeed always open to have the discussion of working for anyone at any time. And, as I have mentioned one more than once in this sex writing column and plenty on my podcast Licking Non-Vanilla with M. Christian (a shameless plug I know, but as Chris writes stuff here, I figure why not?), you should never burn a bridge. I do indeed like the contact from this job that just fired me, I certainly want to keep in touch with her and don’t want her to feel bad about the news she had to deliver to me today. But who knows where she will go, if indeed other opportunities at her company will open up for me with her (again doubtful), if she might go someplace else where she might need me?

So, here I am today, feeling a little dejected but ok. I had to pen a new column, so here it is, and I thought maybe the lesson of saying “NEXT” was a good one to impart to you my struggling or maybe even entirely happy erotica writer.

“NEXT.”

 

Swingers Podcast – Swinging with Carol and David

Playmate Pickup Podcast

Many of you are curious about the swinging life and want to know what it entails and if it’s for you. SO, Erika Jordan brought on Carol and David, the king and queen of swinging!

There are certain terms you should become familiar with right away. Phrases like “hard swap” essentially denote couples who are open to having full-on sexual relations with another couple. Or, a “unicorn” refers to a woman who attends swingers events alone – yes, this isn’t just for couples. Other terms to know are “soft swap,” which is basically the opposite of what a hard swap is and that everything is on the table except for sex. And, last but not least, the phrase is “the lifestyle” refers to the – you guessed it – the swinger lifestyle.

For life on the funny side check out Erika Jordan and Tenere Williams in The Girlfriend Experience Zoom Style. For the very creative this may work for swinging also.

Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan Certified Love Coach, NLP Practitioner

Sometimes You Do Get A Check, And Sometimes You Don’t Know Why

Photo by Nadi Lindsay from Pexels

Freelance writers usually know when their payments are coming in, spend an inordinate amount of time chasing those that are supposed to come in, and worry insistently about trying to get them to come in. Although I am terrible with anything that has to do with numbers, rest assured I try to keep up on those numbers that mean cash in my pocket. So, you can assume I was damn surprised today when I received a check from a rather reputable publication that I was not expecting for a piece of writing I can’t recall.

Yes, I do write a lot of erotica. I’d say more than half of my output is naughty writing, either article, blogs, or fiction. But I also write for mainstream clients and attempt to get fiction or little humor essays into those inoffensive old mags that have been around forever. It was from one of these magazines, that the check came from, for… well… for whatever it was.

I went on the magazine’s website to search, to no avail, and just emailed a letter to their editor, thanking him and asking, ‘Hey, by the way, can you tell me what this is for?’ I’d at least like to grab a couple of copies of the magazine to throw around as I don’t get to do this all that often when I get some piece of erotica published. Old aunt Tessie is a sweet lady, but she won’t take well to logging onto some porn site to read my latest on the best positions for spanking.

Don’t think for a minute I’m complaining! I love getting money, and I love that it seems a venerable old magazine has published me. I just have no idea what the piece was! But you might find this happening to you a time or two. Lots of places have online templates to plug your writing into. In the case of what I am assuming was published here, I probably scribbled off a little humor piece of 100 words and sent it off. I’m sure I didn’t even save the few paragraphs, figuring, hey, if they can use it, great, if not, no skin off my apple.

I guess the lesson to be learned here is, just keep sending stuff, throw your writing out and about, even if it’s little quips or a short-short. You never know who might publish you, and when you might see a check, you were not expecting.