The Labia Minora: A Sexual Delicacy

By

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July 21, 2021

Many women aren’t comfortable with the way their vulvas look, especially the labia minora. That’s a shame. But, learning what they’re capable of, can put a whole new perspective on enjoying sex and your sexuality.

What is the Labia Minora?

Clinically speaking, the labia minora are tiny, delicate folds of skin (or lips) that protect the vagina. They’re rarely symmetrical and no two sets look alike.

Sexually, I don’t know why we don’t talk about them more often. I get my rocks off during sex, oral sex and masturbation with my labia minora as much as I do my clitoris.

There are many more tiny nerves and blood vessels in the labia minora than the labia majora. During arousal, they become fuller and more erect. Bartholin’s glands lie just within the labia minora and secrete lubrication. This is why you want to give these tiny little petals some extra special attention during foreplay and masturbation.

How to Stimulate Your/Her Labia Minora

Sex tip: A great way to get things going is by giving the labia minora gentle, gliding strokes with finger tips or the tip of the tongue barely touching the surface or with a soft vibration or a vibrator set on a low speed.

Too often, people are focused on the big “O”, but I love the tingly feeling that I get when the labia minora spring into action. Holding onto that sensation for as long as possible is like having a mini-orgasm. It also pays off to hold onto this state of arousal for as long as possible to make fingering, clitoral and G-spot play and penetration much more wetter and more sensitized.

I find it odd that we don’t talk about and value the sexual power and benefits of the labia minora in Western cultures. In sub-Saharan countries, girls start stretching their labia minora before they get their periods. Elongated labia minora are viewed as a sexually desired bonus for both women and men.

Personally, I can’t say that bigger is better when it comes to the labia minora, but they’re a sexual delicacy that shouldn’t be overlooked and nothing that should be considered physically embarrassing or shameful.

Previously Published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/the-labia-minora-a-sexual-delicacy/

Book Review: Playing Without a Partner by Megan Stubbs

By

Katya

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May 23, 2021

Playing Without a Partner : A Single’s Guide to Sex, Dating and Happiness by Megan Stubbs, ED.D

Dr. Megan Stubbs, ED.D has crafted a holistic manual to single life that covers every aspect of actual LIVING – not just hookup culture and the pursuit of happiness through relationships – but also the act of learning to love one’s self. Her lighthearted, relatable approach and expertise in sex education allows her to articulate to everyone, singles and coupled people alike, how to get back in touch with YOUR happiness at the root. Stubbs provides an inclusive and thoughtful book if you feel stuck in a rut in your relationship with yourself!

Playing Without a Partner : A Single’s Guide to Sex, Dating and Happiness by Megan Stubbs

Publisher: Cleis Press (May 11, 2021)
Length: 250 pages
ISBN13: 9781627783040

Table of Contents

Introduction ix
Rethinking Single Life 1
Self Care 25
Self-Love-Masturbation and Fantasy 51
Body Mapping 75
Orgasm Basics 83
Positive Body Image 97
Dating-Want Long-Term, Have Short-Term Connections 121
Important Conversations about Health 147
Empowered Sex with Near Strangers 167
Tips for Great Sex 177
Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide 213
Conclusion 223
Acknowledgement 225

Rethinking Single Life

Single life can be seen as sad, however, as Stubbs explains, this is far from the reality. Most single people, whether searching for a partner or having chosen celibacy for any reason, live very fulfilling and rewarding lives filled with meaningful relationships, romance and more. The main difference being this occurs in a different “package” than what we’ve been generally sold as a “perfect” life.

Getting in touch with your true desires – romance, career, lifestyle goals – helps to achieve a happier life in singlehood or just be happier AS yourself. So much of life can be spent finding the perfect person, not finding out what makes us happiest. Why not spend time alone with yourself trying new things? Going to new places? Meeting lots of new people? Options are endless.

Self Care

Self care is so important in attracting a partner AND in improving feelings around self image and identity. If we have not learned to address our needs, how can we expect that of others? Stubbs provides helpful context within which we can reframe and prioritize self care so we can better care for ourselves and others. As a sex educator, body image specialist and relationship expert, she has invaluable background to provide a well rounded self care routine.

Self Love; Masturbatory and Fantasy, Body Mapping, Orgasm Basics

Self Love can be expressed in so many ways! Stubbs’ book expands on the topics of masturbation and fantasy, Body Mapping and Orgasm Basics over several chapters. One important thing to note is the importance of never faking orgasms with your partner in order to serve what you think are their needs first. Understanding our own pleasure will provide for better sexual experiences whether it be with regular partners or strangers. As Megan says often throughout the book, “Put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others,” to ensure your needs are met before you attempt to help others.

Positive Body Image, Tips for Great Sex, Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide

Dr Stubbs is also an expert in the field of Body Image and Body Positivity and as such offers an informative voice on how to achieve a more positive relationship with our body through sexual empowerment, masturbation and self care, but also in your day to day experiences outside of your sex life. Her sex tips are sound and the “Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide” is helpful for those little awkward moments we often don’t consider until we’re back on the dating scene, like if flatulence occurs and other funny situations.

Dating is all about being in the present with people you care for or hope to find a connection with – it shouldn’t be so stressful – but it can be easy to get nervous or retreat to your shell. With Dr. Stubbs’ book, you’ll find a positive, upbeat and humorous voice to guide you through this sometimes lonely and difficult path (alone) but together! There is no shortage of love out there, only fear that keeps us from finding it.

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Dr. Megan Stubbs is a sexologist, relationships expert, and body image specialist. With her degrees in biology and human sexuality, she is able to combine two of her favorite things, science and sex, into a cohesive platform to impact her audience. She is mindful of inclusion and brings a sensitivity to ethnic diversity rooted in her own complex heritage. She believes that sex should be fun and uses her lighthearted, intelligent, and humorous delivery to make it happen. She is the author of Playing Without a Partner : A Single’s Guide to Sex, Dating and Happiness.

Overcoming Libido and Orgasms Issues for Women After Childbirth

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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October 29, 2021

pexels-polina-tankilevitch-3875225 — Photo by Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels

Orgasm Issues In Women and How to Overcome Them

“A woman’s greatest challenge is to begin caring for herself as much as she is caring for others.” – Dr. John Gray

Men aren’t the only ones to face performance anxiety, though for many women the anxiety stems more from something mental than physical. Imagine if you will, having the tickle in your nose but never being able to sneeze.

Most sexual encounters involve a man’s orgasm (if a man is involved), but many women
find it challenging to reach orgasm. In fact, according to a study by Dr. Robert W. Birch
as published in Pathways to Pleasure, 10 to 15 percent of American women have never experienced an orgasm.

I know this to be true in my practice, where I’ve had many women come to me with this problem. It’s sad to realize that the medical industry has treated a man’s inability to get an erection as an emergency while no urgency has ever been placed on female sexual satisfaction.

With the advent of Viagra, there was briefly a surge of interest in finding something similar to increase female sexual desire. However, this search was a bust, mostly because it ignored the main issue.

Viagra (and its ilk) don’t increase sexual pleasure or sex drive, they simply drive blood to the penis. Some of the many reasons that women are unable to reach orgasm are much more complicated than lack of blood flow to the clitoris.

Here are 15 orgasm barriers for women:

1. Traumatic past sexual experience
2. Feeling guilty about sex
3. Fear of pregnancy
4. Fear of failure
5. Fear of rejection
6. Lack of stimulation
7. Low self-esteem
8. Being too inhibited
9. Poor communication
10.Chronic tiredness
11.Resentment towards partner
12.Illness or Surgery
13.Medication or Alcohol
14.Pelvic Floor Prolapse
15. Stress

Getting to the bottom of any of the above issues will increase her desire, removing the psychological obstacles holding her back.

Communication is Key

If you aren’t willing to share your fears or inhibitions with your partner, you are limiting yourself to sexual frustration or “okay” sex at best.

Out of the women that do experience orgasm, only 17% report reaching a climax during intercourse. This is due in large part to the fact that sexual penetration does not usually stimulate the clitoris, which is a major component in female arousal. One way for a woman to increase the possibility of orgasm during intercourse is to simultaneously stimulate the clitoris through touch or toys.

Keep in mind that the clitoris contains over 8,000 nerve endings — double the number in the head of the penis! So even an indirect touch with fingers or a vibrator can set “The Big O” in motion. Many women assume a submissive or passive role during sex and find it uncomfortable to be too vocal with their own needs. It’s important for both male and female partner’s to keep this in mind and make a conscious effort to get her comfortable enough to express her own sexual needs. And, women, if you want to reach that orgasmic peak, don’t be afraid to ask for whatever you need to get you there! Chances are he’ll be relieved and excited to hear all about it!

A good way to start is to assume a position with the woman on top. This allows her to control the movements and by leaning in various directions she can find the suitable clitoral stimulation.

Body Issues

One of my clients found an interesting way to rediscover her orgasm after having a baby. Janine was a 39-year-old mother of two who came to me with concerns that “her children stole her orgasm.” Highly sexual and at times multi-orgasmic while in her 20’s, Janine
hadn’t been able to achieve an orgasm in seven years, since the birth of her first child.

As we talked I learned that she had been a dancer for most of her life until she became a mom and her strength and flexibility had added much fun to her bedroom antics. What we discovered together was that she was self-conscious about the way her post-birth body looked, with stretch marks and added weight. Her husband said he found her more beautiful than ever, but the dancer in her mind didn’t agree. When I suggested that Janine blindfold her husband during sex, she laughed until she cried. They were not “those kind of people,” but when I explained that part of her issue seemed to be with her body image, and that if she removed his ability to see her, she would be free to experiment and move around without fear that he was looking at the parts of her that she didn’t like, she said she’d think about it. But she remained doubtful that she could find the nerve to bring it up
with her sweet but reserved husband.

Well, she obviously brought it up because her husband insisted on coming to the next session where he greeted me with a huge hug and a bouquet of flowers!

Going back to what we learned about the plethora of white matter in the female brain making endless connections to information centers, we can extrapolate that women allow many other factors to seep into their sexual experience that may have nothing to do with sex at all.

This is exactly what had happened with Janine. Her self-conscious body image about what childbirth had done to her dancer’s body had interfered with her ability to orgasm!

NEURO-CISE, OXYTOCIN, DUO

Let’s not forget about oxytocin, which is incredibly important to female pleasure! Some things that have been shown to stimulate oxytocin include:

♥ Collaboration: Holding hands, cuddling, eye gazing, synchronized breathing or listening to music together are all activities that build trust and release oxytocin for a woman.

♥ Shared responsibility: Parental bonds from breastfeeding a baby or nurturing an infant by holding, singing or bathing him or her can release this love hormone.

♥ Being served a home-cooked meal: When a man can cook and serve a meal to his partner, even if it’s just breakfast in bed, it makes her feel loved, valued and appreciated.

♥ Massage: Receiving a massage can be relaxing, healing or arousing depending upon the intention, but all of them naturally increase oxytocin levels.

♥ Breast massage: Gentle breast stimulation encourages blood circulation for a healthy lymphatic system and releases oxytocin. You can use massage oil or cream depending upon
your partner’s preferences. Begin by using light pressure in circular motions with your right hand on her left breast, then your left hand on her right breast. Follow by using both of
your hands on each breast with gentle strokes that cover the entire breast area from the underarm, over the nipples down to the bottom of her rib cage.

Breastwork is part of the tradition within Ayurvedic massage that originated in India thousands of years ago. Some of the benefits of Ayurvedic massage include blood circulation, strengthening of brain function, and a calming and relaxing effect on body, mind and soul. The higher the oxytocin level, the better you are able to deal with every day stressors. For men, increased oxytocin levels also lead to feelings of love.

NEURO-CISE: OXYTOCIN, SOLO

♥ You can engage in daily activities on your own to release oxytocin by thinking about someone you love and trust such as a family member or even a pet. Yes, research has shown that pet owners experience increased oxytocin from the love they give and get!

♥ Compassion is linked to higher levels of oxytocin, so volunteering for a charity or being generous to people less fortunate will make you feel good about yourself and reward you with the love hormone.

♥ Laughter is the best medicine for depression and releases bursts of oxytocin, so go to a comedy club or see a funny movie.

♥ Listening to soothing music releases oxytocin, so listen when you are in stressful situations such as driving in rush hour or cooking for company.

♥ Go to a spa and pamper yourself with a massage, facial manicure or pedicure to trigger some self-love and oxytocin.

The Baby Brain

Aside from maintaining a great sex life, many couples prioritize raising a family. Having a child is a life choice that initiates a whole new world of chemical cocktails, sexual challenges, and barriers to romance. While trying to get pregnant can interject a new dose of dopamine and adrenaline – you’re doing something new together! you’re bonding like crazy! – once the pregnancy begins, it’s important to be aware not only of the physical and physiological changes, but also how each of your brains is processing the experience.

Having a baby can certainly bring you closer together as long as you have empathy and understanding for what new feelings your partner may be experiencing, and how they may differ from your own.

Pregnancy Brain

The primary “pregnancy hormone”, human chorionic gonadotropin (better known as HCG), helps to stimulate the production of progesterone in the ovaries during early pregnancy. The cells that make it go on to form the placenta and, once the placenta is developed, it takes over producing the progesterone, as well as estrogen. This added surge of progesterone and estrogen contribute to wild mood swings as their abundance results in blocking the mood-stabilizer serotonin. The stereotype of the hormonal pregnant woman crying one moment and laughing hysterically the next has substantial scientific basis.

Studies have linked HCG to morning sickness, which is one of the physical hurdles to watch out for during pregnancy. Also watch out for migraines, which could crop up as a result of increased estrogen. Other side effects of carrying a child may include heartburn, fatigue, frequent urination and hemorrhoids – oh the joy of it all!

Mommy Brain

“A mother’s sensory-rich life with her newborn actually remaps part of her brain—
improving her ability to interpret new information.” – Katherine Ellison

Once the baby is born, the breastfeeding stage releases huge amounts of oxytocin in the female brain, causing extraordinary bonding between mother and child. Any partner, on the other hand, may feel left out in the cold, as the new mother’s breasts have suddenly turned
into faucets, not the playthings they once were. Many women report not missing sex at all as their lives have become consumed with the endless diapers and feedings, and their “intimate needs” are being met by that new little person who only wants to gaze into her eyes for hours at a time! Even a partner who is extremely hands-on cannot physically understand the transformation that the baby-mama has undergone. But they can certainly be empathetic and create a supportive environment for increased communication, which isn’t always the first instinct of new parents.

Katherine Ellison, author of The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter, draws on cutting-edge neuroscience research to demonstrate that, contrary to long-established wisdom that having children dumbs you down; raising children may make moms smarter. She benefits from enhanced senses during pregnancy and early motherhood, the alertness and memory skills necessary to manage like a pro, a greater aptitude for risk-taking, and a talent for empathy and negotiation. These advantages not only help mothers in raising their children, but in their work and social lives as well.

The Daddy Brain

“While men have little control over the physical course of their partners’ pregnancies, they do harbor a lot of emotions about pregnancy and fatherhood, and thus need to be involved and invested.” – Dr. Mehmet Oz

New dads are just as excited about the arrival of their child as new moms are, but they don’t have the battle scars or the chemical cocktails to prove it. Or do they? Louann Brizendine MD, author of The Male Brain, has discovered that men do undergo hormonal
changes during the baby’s imminent arrival, and afterward. The stress hormone cortisol rises considerably about four to six weeks after a man learns he’s going to become a father, and begins to fall again as the pregnancy progresses. Brizendine posits that this surge of cortisol puts men into “alert mode”, waking him up to the reality of the new life coming.

“Get prepared!” his brain is screaming at first, and then as he creates and executes a solid plan, his brain chemicals calm down.

Dr. Mehmet Oz, TV Show Host and Cardiothoracic surgeon who has six New York Times best sellers including You: The Owner’s Manual, and You: Having a Baby that he co-wrote with Dr. Michael F. Rozen, says, “Believe it or not, there is a very real thing called “daddy
brain”: Expectant dads go through hormonal and brain changes that roughly parallel those of their pregnant mates; it’s why there are such phenomena as sympathy weight gain and sympathy pregnancy.

Prolactin increases 20 percent in dads in the weeks before birth, and the stress hormone cortisol doubles in dads during pregnancy. Even testosterone dips after birth, allowing the male brain to let down its ultra-male guard and be receptive to bonding.”

In It Together

As different as men and women can be, we all strive for the same things: love, respect, kindness, and personal growth. By understanding our differences, we are more easily able to focus on our similarities and the shared goals we are trying to build
in our romantic relationships.

And by focusing on the desires we share, we will increase our levels of romantic and sexual
satisfaction.

Stop Settling for Mediocre Sex: 7 Tips for a Better Sex Life

By

Nikkita Grady

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April 7, 2022

7 tips for a better sex life

Are you tired of a subpar sex life? You and your partner have the same boring, unfulfilling, missionary sex most mornings before the kids wake up. OR perhaps you manage to squeeze in a quick session at bedtime. That’s all the sexual excitement you tend to experience these days because you’re both tired between juggling work, kids, extracurricular activities, and only God knows what else. And now you’re here because you want some REAL excitement in the bedroom, right? Well, you’re in the right place! I’ve come up with a few tips to help you improve sex and intimacy. Here are some pointers that will help you transform your mundane routine by adding a bit of spice and spontaneity, so now sex can be fun again!

These are 7 tips for a better sex life!

Use lube. There are many reasons why you should be using lube during sex (and it’s not because you don’t have a WAP). The truth is, regardless of how turned on your partner makes you, lube can be added to the equation to enhance the sexual experience. Lube makes sex more pleasurable by decreasing friction that causes pain and discomfort. It can also be a way to introduce new sensations during sex, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to change things up from time to time.
Communicate. Communication is essential for improvement in the bedroom. Communication allows you to create and establish boundaries. It also sets the tone for what to expect during those intimate moments. The foundation for great sex is excellent communication. The more you communicate, the better foreplay, sex, and everything after will become.
Schedule sex. If you’re too busy for sex, you’re too busy! Sometimes we get swamped, causing sex to be placed on the backburner, and that’s not good. Prioritize sex by adding it to your schedule. By putting sex on the calendar, you guarantee that sexy time will happen despite everything else going on.
Engage in foreplay. Foreplay is more than just an oral teaser before penetration. It’s actually any form of sexual (or non-sexual) activity that gets you in the mood before intercourse. Foreplay can begin hours before your sexual encounter and is a great way to enhance sex and improve intimacy in your relationship beyond the bedroom. It ensures that both partners are at their peak of arousal at the time of intercourse. And let me reiterate — it’s also great for improving intimacy in the relationship OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
Use sex toys. Using a vibrator (or any toy) during sex can boost bonding with your partner. Sex toys open the door for so much fun and exploration. There are many toys for various uses. There are some that you can use while your partner watches, your partner can use on you (and vice versa), and even some that you can use together during foreplay and penetrative sex. So choose a toy and have fun as you strengthen the connection with your lover.
Spontaneity! Over time sex can start to feel a little monotonous if it’s the same routine over and over and over again. Be spontaneous and start mixing things up. This keeps sex (and the relationship) fun and exciting! Believe it or not… you can also be spontaneous when you schedule sex! How? Choose a random date and time and let the rest happen spontaneously.
Enjoy the moment. Have fun and remove expectations of achieving an orgasm every time you have sex. Get lost in the moment so you can completely relax and let loose. Enjoy every sensation, every tingle, every tickle… how you’re being touched or caressed. Every kiss. Lick. Stroke. Bite. And pinch, etc… By shifting your focus, you’re able to enjoy maximized pleasure.

Your love life should be a great part of your life at the end of the day (or whenever you feel like having some amazing sex). It may not be completely mind-blowing every time you have sex, and that’s absolutely OK! Consider your sexcapades to be a journey of discovery and an opportunity to enhance the next encounter rather than a race to the finish line. The ultimate goal does not always have to be an orgasm. There is enough delight and excitement to be experienced with your partner without one. Remove sexual pressures and insecurities when it comes time to get busy, and you’ll have a lot more fun along your sexual adventure.

So, what’s holding you back? Go enjoy some orgasmic pleasure. Then repeat again… and again…

…and again!

Force of Nature: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Goddess Lilith

By

Megan Hussey

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November 29, 2021

If one was to look up the phrase kickass woman in the dictionary, one would probably find a beautiful photo of Goddess Lilith–an esteemed and revolutionary singer on the metal scene who also shines on the adult scene as a woman to be reckoned with–and the Feminist Sexpert reckons that we ladies need to support Lilith as She embarks on yet another leg of Her auspicious musical career.

This award-winning, internationally renowned, and bicoastal Dominatrix, Luxury Mistress and Fetish Model, Certified Life Coach, Reiki Master, and Author Goddess has made a name for Herself as lead singer of the goth metal band Sorrowseed, which rocks audiences around the world–as powered by one of the mightiest and unmistakable female vocalists on today’s music scene.

Now Lilith begins an exciting new phase of Her career as the lead singer of MURTAIR, a heavy metal band ready to release a five-song EP that inspires listeners to thrash with its hard groove and electronic elements. Her fans, slaves, and supporters are encouraged to support the band’s Kickstarter campaign, where funds raised will cover the vocal recording, mixing, and mastering the EP, artwork, printing 250 limited edition EP, digital distribution, and camera rental and location costs to make the music video.

“Murtair is more brutal than Sorrowseed,” She said. “This EP is about taking back what has been taken.”

In essence, though, Goddess Lilith’s music always has told the stories of survival. Demeter’s Reckoning, a cut from the Sorrowseed recording The Extinction Prophecies, tells a tale of ethereal revenge, in which a goddess of the earth and seasons takes vengeance for the abuse of our environment.

“When I think about it, it’s all interconnected,” She said. “The way we treat the environment, the way we treat women. We should take better care of them.”

Lilith is a woman with a lot to say–and She generally sings it. Goddess Lilith is, in fact, a classically trained vocalist who holds a Liberal Arts degree with a focus in dramatic arts from Harvard.

“I’ve been singing since I was a toddler,” reveals Lilith, who plays piano, guitar and other instruments. “I always wanted to imitate my heroes.” These heroes range from Nirvana to Joan Jett.

Goddess Lilith now has many fans of Her own, both in the musical sphere and owing to Her role as a premiere dominatrix.

“I’ve always liked to lead men around on leashes, so why not do it professionally?” She said with a smile. “I’ve always been dominant in my personal life.”

She has graced the pages of Hustler’s Taboo and Malevolent, AltStar, Beckett Online Gamer, ASN Lifestyle, and 420 zine Skunk magazines.

Goddess Lilith has received many accolades, including Footnight International’s Most Captivating and Fascinating and Top Trampler Awards, as well as Best Female Cam Performer at the 2018 and 2019 Fetish Awards, and Fan Favorite Alt Visual Arts Book of the Year from the 2021 AltPorn Awards. She’s also scored numerous nominations from Fetish Awards, Footnight International, AVN Fan Awards, XBIZ Cam Awards, Fleshbot Awards, AltPorn Awards, YNOT Cam Awards, and Fetish Awards.

On-screen work, teaching, and event organizing reign as Her true passions. In 2018, She introduced New England’s first recurring FemDom Event ExaltedFemdom.com and hosts foot worship parties newenglandfootfetishparty.com.

She also enjoys gaming on twitch.tv/LilithAstaroth. Learn more about Her at goddesslilith.com. Buy Goddess Lilith’s eBook How I Make Bank as a Foot Model (And You Can, Too!) on Amazon amazon.com/dp/B08RHR3TJK/r and Gum Road gumroad.com/l/jxzKb.

Goddess Lilith says that She has faced blowback in the music industry, both because of Her strong persona and Her career in the adult industry. Yet nothing stands in the Goddess’ way; and in the future, this force of nature stands to take the world by storm.

“I want to teach much more in the future,” She said. “And I want to be of service to women.”

Let us now serve the Goddess by supporting The MURTAIR Kickstarter campaign. Goddess Lilith welcomes pledges in any amount. Backers can choose to get no perks and give generously to the project or pledge $5 or more to get an EP. Funds raised beyond the initial goal will go towards merchandise and a second music video. Make this project happen and pledge at https://bit.ly/3CPd8iE.

Subscribe to Her premium social media on LoyalFans loyalfans.com/GoddessLilith, OnlyFans onlyfans.com/GoddessLilith and AVN Stars stars.avn.com/goddesslilith. Buy Her clips on and Clips4Sale clips4sale.com/4064, iWantClips iwantGoddessLilith.com and ManyVids manyvids.com/Profile/1001198534/Goddess-Lilith/Store/Videos. Search and subscribe to Her Pornhub content pornhub.com/pornstar/Goddess-Lilith. Follow Her on Twitter @GoddessLilith66, Instagram @GoddessLilithDomme, Snapchat @Goddess.Lilith, and Facebook facebook.com/GoddessLilithDomme. Learn your place by texting Her on SextPanther sextpanther.com/Goddess-Lilith. And check Her social media to see days/times She’s cracking the whip live on CAM4 cam4.com/GoddessLilit, MFC profiles.myfreecams.com/GoddessLilith, Chaturbate chaturbate.com/GoddessLilith or Cams.com cams.com/GoddessLilith.

Have You Ever Thought of Planning Your Orgasm?

By

Viloshni Moodley

-

April 4, 2022

Have you ever thought about planning your orgasm? Well, you go about life planning everything else, so why not?

As humans, we put so much effort into planning; the route we will take to the office, the clothes we will wear, our breakfast, lunch & supper, our bath time, and our choice of recreational activity. All this planning is demonstrated as self-care for oneself. Rightfully, self-care is important and does need planning or will never be prioritized.

Intimate Relationships Require Planning

Intimate relationships take planning too. Planning helps you to thrive and lack of planning can only result in failure. The benefit of planning for your intimate relationship has benefits that will boost your relationship to unimaginable levels. How, you may ask?

An orgasm is when the body experiences a rise in the intensity of sexual arousal, which peaks for a few seconds and then lowers to a normal level. Studies suggest many biological benefits of an orgasm. Including a healthier immune system and reduction of stress. During the peak, the brain releases a cocktail of neurochemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These are happy hormones, and the benefits are immense as listed hereunder:

Oxytocin is referred to as the love hormone or cuddling drug, as levels increase during orgasm and cuddling. Increased feelings of love, bonding, and well-being are experienced.
Serotonin Improves mood, social behavior, appetite, sleep, memory, and sexual desire.
Dopamine is the ultimate motivator, regulating sensations of pain and pleasure.

It cannot be stressed upon more the need to have a healthy, sexually fulfilling relationship with the natural benefits oozing through yourself naturally. This is where you take control with your partner, knowing that no one else can make that change except you. You may feel overwhelmed by reading this and wonder where you start.

Just like you plan all other activities, bring sex onto the planning platform. Start small with some of the below-listed ideas and expand. Most importantly, attitude and consistency will make the difference. There is no need to be perfect at it. Having the right intent is what makes the difference.

Sit together in silence or watch a movie holding hands
Date night and sex thereafter
Shower together or a luxurious bubble bath
Game night with sex toys or without – all dependent on the comfort level of both individuals
Weekend in bed
Activity that you both enjoy

As humans, if we want something, we go after it. Once we have what we want, complacency sets in and we tend to take each other for granted. We journey into a mode where the relationship is not granted any planning. Instead, just happens as and when there are time and desire.

Have you and your partner discussed how you make each other feel? Perhaps it is a good time to plan a conversation around this.

Both of you may have fantasies about what you like to experience with each other; however, you both hold back and do not talk about it as there never is an opportunity.

Let us face it, when you in the middle of lovemaking, one can move their partner gently into a change of position. However, if you would like to experience something more, it does take planning. For example, you cannot pause the sexual activity and whip out the ropes to experience some bondage if this has not been communicated with your partner.

Communication is essential to planning:

I want – what you want to get you to the level of excitement you require to orgasm
I will – what you will do comfortably. If you are not comfortable in doing these, you will ensure you have terms to how far you will go.
I won’t – a definite no to you currently. You could change your mind at a later stage.

The above is a healthy way to set boundaries with clear expectations which have been defined because of the discussion. It leaves no grey area and if there is an agreement, with caution, you will set safewords during the discussion to ensure there is no violation during sexual activity.

In the intensity of the moment, it is difficult to set boundaries; however, having done so upfront has planted the seed on how far one can go. At all times, it is important to respect boundaries and not be forceful. It can become a gradual journey taken together as comfort levels and trust increases.

It will certainly feel unnatural at the beginning of this process until you and your partner get into the habit of planning and discussing your intimate lives. It will deepen the bond in the relationship and build trust.

You will remove the masks and start communicating openly about what you want to experience and explore with each other. Vulnerability will become the new sexy on this adventure together.

Experiment Explore & Learn Together!

Life is short. Make it wild, crazy, sexy & exciting for each other.

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Originally posted on Brainz Magazine and Ultimacy Online.

Date Night Delight: It Really Is a Thing! Make It Sexy

By

Valeriam Vincent

-

June 27, 2022

rene-ranisch-lSMf7GJoDz4-unsplash (1) — Photo by Rene Ranisch

What is date night? Has date night been around forever, and we just decided to give it a title or has date night morphed into a real thing? Dating isn’t something we do just at the beginning of relationships, it’s something we do throughout the lifespan of our relationships. Date night can’t just be a pizza run, there must be excitement, anticipation, and something a little naughty. There is a technique or an artform to putting together a sexy date night that can benefit both partners. Date night is a real thing!

Date night is usually a planned activity where a couple creates time to spend exclusively with one another. When a couple first meets, dating serves as a way for two people to get to know one another and decide if they want to continue spending time together. Established couples, single and committed, or married, use date nights to set aside time to enjoy each other’s company (sans children), without the daily interruptions from work and other activities. The anticipation can be high.

Preparing for date night is important. Regardless of which person is planning it, creating a mood is essential, especially if one is attempting to create a sexy evening that leads to sensual adventure later. The theme of the night is important. Whether the outing will include a gourmet meal, a fun sporting event, an exciting live concert, or a night of friendly competition at the miniature golf course, thorough planning is of the utmost importance. Once the first activity of the night is planned and confirmed, the follow through, how we’re going to end the evening, must be considered. Will we need a specific toy or lubricants? One site that comes to mind to secure these needs is https://www.sextoysupply.com.

It’s great to continue to date your partner or spouse. Dating, and behaving in a manner that keeps a spark in the relationship promotes intimacy and longevity. Committing to having planned date nights also shows a level of commitment to doing what’s necessary to maintain the health of the relationship. You’re also building lasting memories with one another and a loving bond.

As busy as our lives can be nowadays, sometimes we even need to schedule “sexy time”. Date nights are idea for planned sex. Every other concern has been cared for. The kids are away, all distractions have been removed and you and your partner can indulge in whatever brings you pleasure. A sexy piece of lingerie, a ball gag or a feathery at “Wholesale sex toys” flog can inspire a new move or remove inhibitions enough to try that new position you read about.

One definite benefit from planned date nights is the great communication dynamic that can develop and continue. When we’re in long term relationships, we can get in a rut from the weight of daily responsibilities and obligations. Conversations tend to be limited to only discussing what is necessary. The date night can be an outlet to be able to rekindle the bond that was built over time. Having great conversations with your partner can revive feelings of warmth, trust, and love. Finding a game that encourages intimacy, “adult sex toys” and open communication can encourage those feelings and help you two keep things fun and fresh.

So, yes! Date night is a real thing! It’s a real activity that can help you enhance your relationship in a number of ways that will result in positive outcomes, fun activities, and lasting memories for you and your partner!

Kymbra’s Closet

“105 Fun Date Night Ideas to Inspire Romance”, by Daniel Hall for the Knot, Update May 5, 2022

“Five Reasons Why Date Night Is Important – 25 Suggestions” by Daniel Dashnaw, 5/13/19

Product Review: OG Flow by Tracy’s Dog

By

Silvia Bell

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March 7, 2023

I received this amazing 2-in-1 toy called the OG Flow by Tracy’s Dog. Not only was it packaged beautifully with its own silk satchel, it comes with a magnetic charger – a major plus for me because nobody has time for complicated chargers! That was just my initial thoughts when I opened the box, but once I picked up the toy that promised double the pleasure and felt how soft and flexible it is, I knew it was going to deliver. I just had to decide where to start, the long shaft bends to any angle you could imagine for reaching all the spots you desire and the softness that surrounds the suction literally forms to your body. So I decided to jump in for the full experience of internal and external satisfaction!

Once I fully unpacked it I was truly impressed. From the gorgeous lavender color to the silky smooth texture, it was almost too pretty to touch…almost. I was also pleased to know that Tracy’s Dog uses premium materials, giving me peace of mind on what I use on my body and making it comfortable to wear as well. With 10 levels of intensity, I found myself wearing the OG Flow in many places. I especially loved that it could join me in the bathtub. I love long baths so having a toy charged that lasts longer than me is a relief, no need to feel rushed when I’m trying to relax. This double feature toy definitely provided many ways to connect with myself and feel in control of my pleasure.

exsUsing one feature at a time had its perks as well! Unfolding the handle completely allows you to use it like a showerhead and provides pulsating external stimulation at whichever pace you choose. When using the wand feature you can bend it into any direction and shape your body responds to best. The overall design encourages you to find what works for you and discover new ways to make each orgasm more intense than the last. Deepening an understanding of our bodies is a beautiful gift that this toy provides. Take your time in discovering all the sensations that the gentle pulsations provide but do not mistake gentle for weak because the results are powerful!

The OG Flow would be great to use alone or with a partner because there are so many options and angles to use. This is the perfect toy for your partner to use when stimulating the G Spot. Oral pleasure can be enhanced as well when combined with the various suction settings, your partner can take their time in learning all the ways your body responds to the sensations. The two main function buttons make it easy, allowing there to be smooth transitions in speed and pulsating patterns. Sometimes vibes jump from one intensity level to the next, but Tracy’s Dog OG Flow is true to its name…it just flows! Each setting gradually and gently takes you to the next level, giving you the confidence to explore deeper than ever before.

If you want a toy that is versatile and easy to use, this is the one. It will provide endless ways to pleasure and know yourself deeper, providing long term satisfaction. With each use, discover what your body is capable of. I love that as I change and have a variety of needs, it changes with me. Each time I use the OG Flow it’s a different experience, so no matter my mood it provides what I need in that moment leaving me feeling fulfilled. The more I connect with myself, the more I feel empowered to connect with others. That’s the bonus benefits of using the OG Flow by Tracy’s Dog.

Are You Perpetually Unhappy

By

Erika Jordan

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May 12, 2023

“I’m so unhappy!” This is some thing I often say because I battle depression. I wake up in the morning with a low bottom line and I take it upon myself to lift myself from the basement to the lobby. A frustrating process to work so hard to get to a place where some people start. I had my blood tested and I have fine tuned my hormones, minerals and vitamins. I work out regularly and I meditate, but this isn’t enough to make me happy. Some people are perpetually unhappy and if that is you, it is likely your fault.

Happy people are not the ones that have the most. They are not the richest, they are not the most successful, quite the contrary in fact. The happiest people I’ve seen in my life are the people that have very little and find joy in the small magical moments in life. Ladybug landing on their finger, a good cup of coffee, or a stimulating conversation with a friend. These are the people that gravitate towards happiness. And sure, some people are just lucky and they have a positive disposition. They don’t have to put in the work. They are just happy. That is not you, you have to put in the work.

Happiness is attainable with a shift in your perspective. Are horrible things happening every day? Yes, life can be an absolute shit show. That does not mean that good things are not happening as well. Earlier this week a friend of mine had been complaining how difficult it was to find work in her field. Another group of friends came to sit at the table and I introduced them to my struggling friend. She was a bit drunk and lashing out at the world because her job interview didn’t go well that day. Ironically, she was a school teacher and one of my friends was actually a principal at a public middle school and had just received word that a teacher was leaving and the position needed to be filled. Of course, he wouldn’t take my friend into consideration because she was angrily cursing at a salt shaker. Her focus on the negative didn’t just create more negative (like a broken salt shaker and a hangover), it kept her from a positive outcome. The way we feel has a domino effect.

You might feel frustrated reading this. What can we do? Our brain does not come with a remote control. The thing to remember is you are an adult. You have to parent yourself. You can not eat an entire cake at 2 AM and you need to redirect your thoughts when you are beating yourself up for your recent failed relationship all night long. Could you have been better? Did you take them for granted? Were you falling short in bed? MAYBE! But no amount of obsessing about it is going to make that any better.

Positive things came from the relationship. Perhaps you learned something, had beautiful moments together, or it’s just great that it is over. As you shift your focus your mind will boomerang and you will go right back to where you started. It is up to you to toss that boomerang right back and do not get complacent. We know how boomerangs work.

The more times you shift your focus from the negative to the positive the more natural it will seem. Your brain likes routine. If you have been a pessimist your whole life you can not wake up tomorrow and decide to be something else. You are training your brain the way you would any other muscle. Gradually, overtime. It is a combination of knowing what you need to feel physically healthy and doing what is required to be emotionally healthy.

Do not get discouraged. People tend to force themselves to think positive for a day and when nothing magical happens they give up. Redirecting your brain to the positive puts you in a position where you are open to positive things happening to you. That opportunity doesn’t always exist. Your state of mind should be consistent for it to pay off. A positive thought is more powerful than a negative thought. If you’re trying to think positive and your brain hit you with the worst case scenario simply push the thought aside and think of a positive thought or two.

Gravitating towards negativity could contribute to keeping you in destructive patterns. If you believe you only attract bad people how surprising is it when all your dates are bad people? What self-fulfilling prophecy’s are you reciting? If I constantly think my partner is going to cheat on me I’m going to look for things that prove me right and likely end up accusing my partner of cheating over something I misinterpreted. A partner is more likely to cheat if they are already being treated as such. Sure, you might drop your guard and get cheated on anyway.

But, by acting like it is going to happen from the beginning you are skipping the honeymoon phase and going straight for the explosive break up. Intuition and anxiety often feel the same. Be mindful of the fact that an an anxious thought is not a vision for the future. Sometimes it is your intuition and other times it is just pesky anxiety coming to keep you on your familiar course of unhappiness. Your mind wants to keep you alive. It is up to you to make it a life with happiness. You have the steering wheel.

What if you can’t think of a positive thought? You need to look around you. A hummingbird drinking from a flower, your pet, your nephew, or a funny YouTube video. You’re able to breathe, your coffee was perfect today, or it’s finally Spring! When everything is doom and gloom you need to shine a light. It doesn’t eliminate the gloom but it allows you to see the rainbow. Life is good and bad. Life is magical and life is devastating. It’s up to you what you choose to focus on. Choose accordingly.

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Erika Jordan is an internationally acclaimed love and relationship expert, NLP practitioner, author, and media personality, and a leader in the field of digital romance and online dating.

First published on YourTango

Do I Need to Purchase a Sexy Doll?

By

Valeriam Vincent

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November 13, 2023

Women-Having-Sex-With-Honey-Doll-Sex-Doll-2-600x900 — https://www.xndoll.com/josephine-premium-female-sex-doll/

Do I need to purchase a sexy doll? It is a question many people have to answer while trying to improve their relationship. It isn’t easy to find the perfect person. Some choose to purchase real-life dolls for sex instead.

We will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having authentic, loving beauty on this site. This will allow you to make a more informed and confident purchase decision when it comes to buying a real-life sexually explicit doll.

When it comes to purchasing sexually explicit dolls, people are worried. Many people feel embarrassed when they purchase items like these, and some may not be aware of how their spouses will react if they bring the real-life doll into their bedroom.

These days, sex toys are all the rage and are available in realistic sex dolls that are suitable for both females and males. The market for male sex toys is a multibillion-dollar market. This means that you’re not the only one wanting to have a go at this. Millions around the world purchase and enjoy playing with a sex doll. If you’d like to test but are worried about what others think of you, there is no need to purchase it at a store. Alternatives that are more discreet, such as online sex shops, can ship the doll to your door.

Sex Dolls Are Becoming More and More Realistic

As time passes, sex dolls are getting more accurate. When Anime love dolls were initially introduced, there was not enough variety. Now, you can choose from a broad array of models of sex dolls on the market. The great thing about authentic affection dolls is they allow you to get a customized option as well.

https://www.xndoll.com/madilyn-premium-real-anime-sex-doll-eif-girl/

You can get a real sexuality doll that has all the features you’d want to observe in an individual woman if you are looking for a silicone sex model that is 5 feet long. It is tall and features the color you would like, you can discover it. There are sex dolls with various skin colors and various heights, as well as a selection of different other types of materials, i.e., silica dolls for sex or TPE dolls for sex.

They Feel Real

Anime love dolls aren’t just real; they feel real, too. The doll’s authenticity and flexibility of the skeleton are similar to the real thing. This means you’ll enjoy a unique sexual experience. It is possible to do things using a real love doll that you’d be uncomfortable asking for a girl.

There are no judgments, which will help build confidence when you’re in bed with a real woman. If you don’t have a girlfriend, but you want to experience the human touch and experience a special sexual experience, then the sexiest dolls are the best way to take it.

They Are Highly Customizable

We’ve already discussed the fact that sex dolls are incredibly customizable. Many people dream about what their dream girlfriend would look like. If you’re among them, then you can purchase a sex doll that has the same features as your ideal girl. It could include hairstyle, height and color, the color of your eyes, breast size, pubic hair, mouth and tongue settings, and many more characteristics. With all these realistic features, would anyone not like it?

https://www.xndoll.com/rose-5-06ft-premium-slim-body-realistic-tpe-anime-sex-doll/

It Can Spice Things Up In Your Relationship

One of the biggest misconceptions regarding sex dolls is the notion that they are only for singles. However, this is not the truth. Even if you’re married, sex dolls could be the ideal third party in the bed. Some people are afraid to inquire about this. But it’s the 21st century, and people talk openly to their partners about these things. When your bond is thriving and you are in love with the other one then you’ll be being able to speak with your partner questions about this. Your partner may want to do the same.

The cost is moderate.

One of the main reasons why people do not buy sexually explicit dolls isn’t because they are embarrassed; it’s because they don’t pay for it. There are real-looking sex dolls that are suitable for women and men at a variety of prices.

Prices can vary from hundreds of dollars to a few thousand dollars, depending on the materials used to make the doll as well as the customization desired.