Thursday, August 27, 2015
Tags Posts tagged with "passion"


We want and need to be able to depend on each other, especially during life’s difficulties, but all too often, we take our partner for granted and forget to say “Thank you for being there for me.” We blame our busy lives and lack of time to slow down and reflect, so this year take Thanksgiving as an opportunity to appreciate what you have and be thankful for it.

Below are 5 ways to show your gratitude and be thankful for your relationship.

1. Friendship Footprints to Your Heart

Friendship means being able to say anything without being judged. Best friends don’t take advantage of each other and can be relied upon to help with any size problems. Tell your best friend that you will always be there for them and thank them for being so lovable.

2. Play to Win-Win and Give-Give

Couples who play together, stay together because having fun and being playful will keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Challenge your partner to a kissing contest to see who can come up with the most different kinds of kisses. This game is win-win as you’ll both expand your kissing horizons.

3. Time is Your Most Precious Gift

Giving of your time to each other has a priceless value on it. Our allotted time on this planet is so precious. And when that time runs out and we are ready to move on to the next dimension, it’s the memories we have created here on earth that we will be thinking about. So it’s never too late to begin creating more loving memories with the one you love.

4. Compliments are Compelling

Compliments are vital in a relationship as they can make a world of difference in your day when your partner looks at you and says: “I desire you as much as the day I met you.” Give physical, emotional and appreciative compliments regularly and you may be surprised to get them back.

5. Be Passionate About Your Partner’s Passion

Compatibilities are just as important as chemistry and you can show your appreciation by taking an interest in one of your partner’s passions. Take secret lessons to brush up on what really interests him/her so that you have even more in common, whether it’s music, sports, cooking, dancing, traveling or spirituality, it can only enhance your relationship.

In my seminars around the world, whenever I ask the audience “What Kills Passion?” the first thing that people shout out is “Children” so I know how easy and natural it is to put the kids first and neglect your partner’s intimate needs.

A Newsweek study found that married couples have sex no more than 10 times a year after they have children. Don’t allow your relationship to turn into a “sexless marriage” statistic because you have the willpower to change it and make passion a priority, even if you haven’t had sex for a while. You can be a good parent and still have a passionate love life by following some of these suggestions.

  1. Be Flirtatious and give each other compliments every day, write sexy notes for your partner to find in unexpected places.  Take your favorite colored lipstick or shaving cream to write something sexy on the bathroom mirror for your partner to see. Flirting with each other will reignite the chemistry you had when you first met.
  2. Hold hands the way you used to when you were dating while walking, sitting, watching TV or laying next to each other. Kiss passionately with eye contact and say “I love you” every day. When a man kisses a woman he transfers testosterone through his saliva into her mouth, which is why women get so turned on by making out.
  3. Watch a romantic movie and cuddle after the children are asleep to get you in the mood for lovemaking. Movies like Dirty Dancing, Titanic, Nine and a Half Weeks, Wild Orchid and The Notebook can all stimulate your sense of sight while you watch a steamy scene and that will raise your libido.
  4. Sext each other naughty messages during the day to let your partner know how much you desire him or her. Text a sexual fantasy that you are too shy to talk about face-to-face to create sexual anticipation for later on when you see each other. For example if you would like to use a new sex toy to enhance your sex life, send your partner a photo of it and order it together online or go to an adult toy store and make it a fun date.
  5. Read some erotica to each other or watch one of my sexy instructional videos on Pleasing a Woman, Sensual BDSM for Couples, Anal Pleasure for Women or Oral Sex for Couples, all available at You can learn some new tips and techniques to satisfy yourself and your partner.
  6. Plan a date at home with a picnic in bed of your favorite finger foods and drinks. Be sure to incorporate some aphrodisiacs such as avocado, asparagus, oysters, shrimp, figs, bananas, pumpkin, licorice, watermelon, honey and chocolates. To drink, pomegranate juice can increase your testosterone up to 30% or you may prefer a little wine to lower your inhibitions.
  7. Surprise quickies in the bathroom can be fun and satisfying in the shower, in the bathtub, on the toilet seat, leaning over the sink or laying on a pile of soft towels on the floor. Just remember to lock the door!
  8. Play sexy games like Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare, Sex Scrabble, Sexman (like Hangman but all the words must be sexual), Sexoopoly (play Monopoly naked), Strip Poker, Checkers, Chess or Backgammon. Being playful and laughing together leads to more intimacy and releases feel-good endorphins that can release stress and ease pain such as headaches and arthritis.
  9. Role-play with some sensual power play after you decide who is going to be the Master or Mistress and who is going to be the Sex Slave. The punisher can spank his or her slave and demand some oral pleasure. Be sure to take turns so that you both get your needs met being sexually dominant and submissive. It’s important to take turns initiating role-playing so that one partner doesn’t feel like he or she is always the one to start sexual intimacy. You can also dress up to enhance the fantasy as a biker and a slut, nurse and patient, teacher and student or stripper and a customer. The idea is to get out of character and have some adult fun!
  10. Schedule a babysitter on a regular basis so that you can go out for a romantic date. Whatever you do, leave the children out of your intimate conversation. This regular date night is all about the two of you reconnecting mentally, physically, emotionally and maybe even sexually.

I’m hoping that you’ll try some of the passion possibilities and realize how important your love relationship is in your life. Your kids will grow up and fall in love, then leave home and make their relationship a priority. At that point you don’t want your partner to just be your roommate, so start being more passionate today.

Moms and dads may feel hesitant about having sex again after neglecting it, but once you get back in the saddle you’ll be much happier in your relationship and more sexually satisfied, resulting in even better parenting.

by -

How to Defeat the Passion Assassins & Reconnect Mentally, Physically and Emotionally

First, you’ve got to create an environment that is stress free. Women especially need a clean environment. Wired to be caretakers, they can feel the stress of not having tidy surroundings. Yale professor Amy Arnsten calls this need the “Goldilocks of the Brain.” In order to function at an optimal level, the pre-frontal cortex needs things “just right.”

There are several brain chemicals that come in to play during a relationship. Knowing what triggers their release is an important part of romance.

Once you have created a non-stressful environment, the release of dopamine motivates our pleasure and reward center in our brain.

Oxytocin is an important feel-good hormone that lowers stress. This is also known as the love hormone and can be easily triggered with a six-second hug.

  • Women’s highest level of oxytocin is actually during breastfeeding, eye-contact and cuddling.
  • In general, levels of oxytocin are lower in men, except after an orgasm, where they are raised more than 500 percent. This may explain why men feel very sleepy after an orgasm.

Intention Neuro-cise for Couples: Many times when partners come together for intimacy they each bring with them a gaggle of invisible thought balloons that hover around and between them, making the attempt to connect feel like “one more thing that needs my attention.” Try this as a way to shoo those mind distractions away:

 Reduce as many external distractions as possible. Tidy up, turn off the TV, silence your phone, turn off the computer and turn the clock away from you.

  1. Sit facing each other and take a few deep breaths with eye contact until your breathing is synchronized and you are looking into each others soul through the eyes.
  2. Then rub your own hands together to create warmth.
  3. Raise your hands and place them palm-to-palm against your partner’s for an energetic connection.
  4. Make an imaginary Intention Circle around you both and take turns throwing things out of the circle that no longer serve your relationship, such as jealousy, impatience or even the TV remote control.
  5. Bring positive intentions in one at a time that will enrich your relationship, such as more romance, deeper communication, forgiveness and whatever gifts you want to make your love life even more playful.

For further details get my book NeuroLoveology, The Power to Mindful Love & Sex in Chapter Seven: Passion Assassins