Now that you’ve decided to go to your parent’s, relative’s, or friend’s house for Christmas, how is the loud, wild vacay sex you hope for going to happen?
Well, there are some options here. Some people get turned off knowing that they are banging their partner while their parents are in the next room, while other people find the idea exciting. Whatever one you are, don’t mortified your family with screams of “Now do it up my ass big boy!”
TRY A BALL GAG
Seriously, if you’ve never tried one, this might be the time. Muffle those loud sounds of sex with a bad ass bondage gag for you or your lover. (You have to decide beforehand, of course who who will be the “gagger” and who will be the “gaggie.” Check out these scary but exciting (that’s the idea) gags from Stockroom, some of which are seriously sick. In a good way of course.
DO IT IN THE SHOWER
Here’s the one place in the house that nobody will here you. And even if they do, they won’t be able to figure out what you’re saying. Here’s a chance to try out a new position or two, like the “standing doggy” where you can use your hands to lean against the shower walls. Or try the “wraparound”, where you wrap your leg around his waist and stand face to face for some wet, steamy sexy time.
USE A QUIET VIBRATOR
If you’re having sex with yourself this Christmas, try a “quiet” vibrator that won’t be heard by anyone, including yourself. The cute little $36.00 “Bean” vibrator from Unbound, should do the trick. It’s “splendid” design looks like a pink or teal mod bean, and the toy is “remarkably quiet”, according to Unbound. Plus, it uses batteries and is waterproof, so it can be used in the shower. It’s a clitoral vibrator, so if your boyfriend gets too drunk to find yours, use this.
GET A ROOM. SOMEWHERE ELSE
If you’re in a new relationship or just really want some hot sex–now that you finally have some extra time to do so, you many want to just get your own accommodations. Many cities and towns now legally allow AirBNB, which often costs less than a hotel room, so you can rent someone else’s entire house for a few days while they’re quietly having sex in their parent’s guestroom.
Photo of leather Christmas ornament from Amazon.com