How To Have Sex When You’re Home For The Holidays

Now that you’ve decided to go to your parent’s, relative’s, or friend’s house for Christmas, how is the loud, wild vacay sex you hope for going to happen?

Well, there are some options here. Some people get turned off knowing that they are banging their partner while their parents are in the next room, while other people find the idea exciting. Whatever one you are, don’t mortified your family with screams of “Now do it up my ass big boy!”


Seriously, if you’ve never tried one, this might be the time. Muffle those loud sounds of sex with a bad ass bondage gag for you or your lover. (You have to decide beforehand, of course who who will be the “gagger” and who will be the “gaggie.” Check out these scary but exciting (that’s the idea) gags from Stockroom, some of which are seriously sick. In a good way of course.


Here’s the one place in the house that nobody will here you. And even if they do, they won’t be able to figure out what you’re saying. Here’s a chance to try out a new position or two, like the “standing doggy” where you can use your hands to lean against the shower walls. Or try the “wraparound”, where you wrap your leg around his waist and stand face to face for some wet, steamy sexy time.


If you’re having sex with yourself this Christmas, try a “quiet” vibrator that won’t be heard by anyone, including yourself. The cute little $36.00 “Bean” vibrator from Unbound, should do the trick. It’s “splendid” design looks like a pink or teal mod bean, and the toy is “remarkably quiet”, according to Unbound. Plus, it uses batteries and is waterproof, so it can be used in the shower. It’s a clitoral vibrator, so if your boyfriend gets too drunk to find yours, use this.


If you’re in a new relationship or just really want some hot sex–now that you finally have some extra time to do so, you many want to just get your own accommodations. Many cities and towns now legally allow AirBNB, which often costs less than a hotel room, so you can rent someone else’s entire house for a few days while they’re quietly having sex in their parent’s guestroom.

Photo of leather Christmas ornament from

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Therapist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ and writes the weekly "Ask Anka"/"Sexual Healing" column for Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.


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