What’s harder: Letting go or moving on? I think most of us can agree that it depends on the person. But I don’t think our love and sex lives have to be so black and white.
Unless your ex was abusive or has done you wrong in some serious way, you may still be friends – or at least following each other on Instagram. That’s where I suggest you consider expanding the grey area in the dynamics of the relationship.
I’d like to introduce a new idea (backed with its own theme song) called Ex With Benefits (or EWB). Let me elaborate on the benefits:
You know Your Ex
You’ve already had sex with your ex – you guys aren’t strangers. If you’re going to have sex with anyone, why not someone you know instead of someone you just met on Tinder?
Besides, you don’t want to move too fast when it comes to dating new people. So, if you think you can do it, satisfy your sexual urges with an ex.
Of course though, you have to make sure that you and your ex are clear about whatever is expected. If one of you thinks this means you’re getting back together and one of you thinks it’s just great sex, that’s a problem.
What I’m suggesting is very much like having friend with benefits. In this case, I call it: Ex with Benefits
The Sex Is Great
Love is complicated, isn’t it? One day you’re toasting to an ideal future with the one you love and the next day you’re kicking him to the curb because he cheated on you.
So often, love turns to hate. But it doesn’t have to. Sure the relationship went sour, but how was the sex? If the sex was good, who says “hanging out” every now and then is a bad thing? In fact, you’re both saving yourselves the trouble of finding a new booty call, while remaining free to keep looking for someone better. It’s a win-win.
Unless of course, the sex was never great. In that case, you don’t need to read any further.
The Perfect EWB Song
It’s a soul ballad by Sade called “Is It A Crime.” If you’ve never heard it or don’t like it, perfect! Use this song as background music when you’re alone in that old familiar place together exchanging flirtatious remarks. Someone is going to get in the mood.
And since it’s not a modern pop song, no one should be distracted with the urge to sing along to the lyrics. (Believe me, this is an unfortunate truth for 20 somethings). Plus, the constant sax solos are so old-school nostalgic that your backslide action will seem downright fresh in comparison.
Watch the clip above for the best song to listen to while having sex with your ex (or to send to your ex to encourage the booty call).