Bondage and impact play used to be very taboo. But, since the launch of E.L. James’ erotic trilogy, women everywhere are looking for ways to bring the fantasies in the books into their own bedrooms. Read on to discover the top five sex toys you can use to spice up your sex life as used by Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey as well as, ideas on what to do with them and how to use them safely. If you missed last week’s post “Top Ten Sex Toys for Creating Your Own Fifty Shades of Grey Fantasy—Part One” it is here.
“He reaches down, lifts my chin, and plants a soft wet kiss on my lips before slipping the blindfold over my eyes. I can see nothing, all I can hear is my rapid breathing and the sound of the water lapping against the sides of the yacht as she bobs gently on the sea. Oh my. I am so aroused… already.” – Anastasia Steele
Blindfolds are considered “light” bondage and are quite popular with many couples who may not be interested in other kinky activities. Removing the sense of sight allows all your other senses to become heightened and erotically charged. Blindfolds let you escape your inhibitions and delve more into the fantasy. A favorite erotic fantasy for many is to blindfold your lover and feed them aphrodisiacs (remember the movie “9 ½ Weeks”?). Or try rubbing “sensation play” materials over your lover’s skin while they are blindfolded. Fur, silk, feathers and of course ice, can all be used to complete your Fifty Shades fantasy. Blindfolds are perfect for playful foreplay and bring an element of suspense to your lovemaking.
This Fifty Shades pair of satin blindfolds are soft, luxurious and lightly padded with soft faux fur material on the inside for added comfort.
” I am naked and shackled, spread-eagled on a large four poster bed. Collapsing on top of me, I feel his full weight forcing me into the mattress. I pull my tied hands over his neck and hold him the best I can. I know in that moment that I would do anything for this man. I am his.” – Anastasia Steele
Hands cuffs, soft rope, bondage tape and even silk ties are all various types of restraints. Restraints permit the “good girl” to let go sexually with more abandon as she does so “beyond her control”. Imagine being tied to a bed and ravished, submitting to your secret inner desires, like the sex object you’ve always wanted to be. If you are lucky, you may even awaken your inner Goddess as Anastasia did in the book. Real metal hand cuffs are very hard and not recommended for beginners. Instead, try neoprene hand cuffs with Velcro for easy fastening, or silk restraints. Just make sure not to make the restraints too tight. Two fingers between the cuffs and the skin is a good guide. Also, never restrain someone around the neck, but you can use “slave” collars for this purpose.
The Fifty Shades Keep Still Over the Bed Cross Restraint Kit are the most popular type of restraints, as you can turn your bed into a bondage boudoir. The quality wrist and ankle cuffs feature a soft satin exterior, with the inside lined with faux fur for a truly comfortable experience. Fastened by secure, adjustable Velcro, the cuffs are simple for a partner to secure and remove, yet provide a highly effective restraint tool for the wearer. Fits a double bed, easy to assemble.
“Christian trails the soft feathers over my stomach and breasts as I become captured by my desire, needing more and more. He continues to tease my naked skin, smirking with each titillating stroke.” – Ana Steele
Sensation Play. Other ways to arouse your lover’s senses including using feathers, fur and sensation play toys. Ticklers are a fun way to explore erotic sensation play, with your partner bound and blindfolded of course, to keep them in suspense. Try this Tease Feather Tickler with a soft plume of erotic feathers to awaken your partner’s erogenous zones, some of which they didn’t even know existed.
“Do you want me to spank you, Anastasia?” says Christian Grey. “Yes!” My voice is a hoarse whisper. Suddenly there are butterflies in my stomach. Perhaps this is what I need… this is what I have been missing. I surrender myself to his rhythm, absorbing each blow, savoring each one. – Ana Steele
Spanking is another erotic fantasy that many adults share, whether you are “kinky” or not. Paddles are a good introduction for those interested in trying spanking for the first time. Many are made of soft, pliable materials such as suede and some are even lined with fur. This allows the one giving the spanking to slowly build up through sensation play, rubbing the soft material against the exposed posterior before a playful smack, while the one receiving the spanks can get used to the sensation. To ensure that both partners get the most out of the experience, spanking should always start with a slow build up. Start by kneading and rubbing the bottom to awaken the nerve endings, then start with soft spanks on the apple of the cheek (or sweet spot) and always gauge your lover’s response. Continue to massage the bottom as a distraction, in-between spanks as well, to allow them to digest the pain and eroticize it into pleasure.
The Twitchy Palm paddle is softly padded satin on one side and firm faux leather on the other, to offer dual sensation, softer or thuddier impacts.
“I will use this. It will not hurt, but it will bring your blood to the surface of your skin and make you very sensitive.” – Christian Grey
In the book Anastasia is aroused almost instantly by the sight of a flogger. A flogger is an impact play toy with a handle and several tails, usually made of soft suede or leather. The soft tassels can be used to drag over the bound submissive to tickle and tease them. While blindfolded, the scent of the leather can also be intoxicating. Beginning enthusiasts should be careful using any impact toy for the first time. Make sure not to hit the spine while “whipping” your lover into submission, and try to hit your target directly rather than allowing the fronds to wrap around the body as this can cause a nasty sting. The buttocks, breasts, upper back, genitals and inner thighs are ideal places to flog, but do so gently, and always monitor your partner’s responses. Make sure to mix up the rhythm of the strokes as well as pressure to heighten sexual pleasure.
Perfectly sized for travel, this Fifty Shades Please Sir shortened flogger whip is halfway between a genital flogger and a full-sized flogger, making it ideal for delivering delicious stings to any part of your lover’s body.
“This feels different than the last time—so carnal, so … necessary. He caresses my behind with his long-fingered hands, and I’m helpless, trussed up and pressed into the mattress, at his mercy, and of my own free will. He hits me again, slightly to the side, and again, the other side, then pauses slowly as he peels my panties down and pulls them off. He gently trails his palm across my behind again before continuing my spanking. I surrender myself to the rhythm of blows, absorbing each one, savoring each one … I moan loudly as my body takes over, and I come and come, convulsing around his fingers.” – Ana Steele
Crops are a bit stingier in terms of impact play toys. However, they are easier to wield and perfect for hitting smaller, targeted areas, like the genitals or the breasts. A good rule of thumb is it hit yourself with any impact toy first to see how it feels, before hitting your partner. This way you can measure how hard you can hit before pleasure becomes pain. Remember, impact play is not about pain, per se, it is a fine line that dances on the edge of pleasure and pain, thus adding more excitement and sensation to your lovemaking experience. So, don’t go whack-happy on your partner, and always make sure not to exceed their limits for tolerance.
The Strict Leather Short Riding Crop is a classic design and very well made and sturdy. It is accented with attractive detailing on the rubber handle. Crisscrossed with elegant corset-style bands, the black contrast stripes enhance the visual appeal as well as your grip. The springy shaft is made of durable plastic covered with woven fabric. The genuine leather tip is a rounded paddle shape, bound in place with black thread.
Unlike Anastasia and Christian’s relationship, which is fictional, when playing with real people remember to communicate, set limits (and a safe word) and play safe.
The most important part when trying something new during sex is to communicate your desires to your partner and to set limits and expectations. While something may sound great as a fantasy, in the real world you may find it is not your cup of tea. With most of these types of play there is also a right way and a wrong way to do things. So learn as much as you can about an activity before trying it, and remember practice makes perfect. If you are interested in getting more serious about BDSM play, try to find a group near you where you and your partner can take workshops on what interests you. And, finally, remember this is about pleasure and making your sex life sizzle, so play safe and have fun. It’s time to get orgasmic!