So, Cosmo put out the “11 Best Lesbian Sex Toys for Couples” last week. Some of the choices were good, and then some of them… well, I wonder if they actually test the toys before recommending them? No offense, but a jelly rubber (PVC) double-dildo is something you see in so called “lesbian” porn movies which are based on male fantasies and don’t even feature real lesbians in them.
So, I wanted to make a list for REAL lesbians, you know like those in “the ‘Real’ L Word” or the movie “Bound”. Something two cis-female lovers would use together to enhance their sex lives. And, yes, I did try all these toys, just in case you are interested, and yes, many of them with a female partner. Thanks for asking and checking up on my research!
So here is the first 10 Best Sex Toys for Real Lesbians and Their Real Lesbian Lovers for the Best Real Lesbian Sex Ever. Part 2 (coming next week) will have the next 10, so stay tuned!
Okay, let’s get to the toys, shall we?
Lube for Slippery Queer as Sex Peeps
Yes, lube is my number one recommendation for all queer and non-queer peeps. While lube is not literally a sex toy, per se, it is one of the most important sexual tools you can use to get all juicy for any kind of sex. For cis-women, the kind of lube you use is especially important because we want to keep our beautiful vulvas (and vaginas) moisturized, without adding harsh chemicals or messing with the delicate flora that keeps our vaginas healthy and happy. Also, penetrative sex toys like dildos tend to be drying, so you will want to use lots of female-friendly water based lube with toys to keep the penetration slippery and sexy.
I have reviewed Aloe Cadabra Natural Aloe personal lubricant before and I champion it every time I can because it is simply the best lube EVER, at least IMHO, and I have tried 100s of lubes.
Aloe Cadabra is 95% organic aloe, enriched with vitamin E, and is free of parabens, glycerin, and petrochemicals. It is one of the most all-natural, body-safe lubricants you can buy without making your own from scratch.
A Lipstick Clitoral Sucker for Lipstick Lesbians
The Womanzier 2Go is an Orgasm on the Go. I have reviewed the Womanizer’s clitoral sucking vibes before where I called them the “crack cocaine of sex toys [because] they are seriously addictive… [and] most effective orgasmic clit-blasting pleasure toy ever made.”
Well, the Womanizer 2Go has all the features of the larger versions, but in a small, discreet little package. I mean, how cute is that thing?
The Womanizer 2Go works without touching the clitoris. Instead, it surrounds the clitoris and sucks it into the device with “Pleasure Air Technology”, which stimulates via pulsating pressure waves. Let’s just say, 1 minute orgasm anyone? And, yes you can have multiple orgasm with this sucker too, for an entire night of orgasmic delight.
Made using phthalate free materials Silicone, ABS plastic. Waterproof. 6 intense vibrations levels. USB rechargeable. Run time 4 hours. Charge time 2 hours. Colors: White, Gold. Made in Germany.
Double Trouble for Dual Penetration Androgynous Lovemaking
Okay, so I made fun of double dildos above, because seriously, I’ve never seen anyone outside of porn movies actually use one. However, if you did want to try a double dildo, I recommend one made out of body-safe materials, like these borosilicate glass wands, called the Crystal Collection Eclipse.
Why glass? Glass is one of the best materials for penetrative sex toys if you want to stimulate the G-spot, because it is hard and applies deep pressure to the G-spot area. The G-spot, for most women, enjoys deep, firm rubbing or penetration into the G-spot itself. Also, glass is non-porous so can’t harbor bacteria, can be sterilized, and is totally body safe, so perfect for sharing.
Also, this wand has a nice curve which makes hitting the G-spot much easier, and features a rounded bulb on each end, to massage the G-spot with. It is 8” in length so can be used with a partner as the average G-spot is 1”-2” inside the vagina. Rather than pushing in and out with this dildo, you and your partner would rock it (like a see-saw) up and down to press into the G-spot and massage it to orgasm.
Glass toys can also be used in water-sex-play scenarios, and can be cooled or warmed for temperature play.
Sounds pretty hot to me!
Strapless Strap Ons for Penetrative Sex for Bicurious and Bisexual Babes
There are strap-ons and then there are strapless strap-ons. Confused yet?
Strapless strap-ons are strap-ons that don’t use straps or a harness to hold the dildo in place. Instead, the are designed somewhat like a double dildo with two penetrative ends: an egg-shaped bulb that is worn by the Top, or penetrator, and a longer phallic shaped dildo that is used to penetrate the bottom, or receiver.
The Feeldoe made by Tantus is one of the most popular types of strapless strap-ons and, when used solo, works great for G-spot stimulation, especially if you are massaging the cock back a forth like a man masturbates. Once inserted, the Feeldoe acts like an extension of your body, basically a faux penis, as it molds so completely to the curves of the vagina and vulva, so feels more intuitive when used in strap-on sex with another partner. It is easier to guide it into your lover, and feel the motion and rhythm of sex.
Tantus dildos are made in the USA from the highest quality silicone you can get, so are one of the best and safest sex toy materials on the market.
Magic Wand Rechargeable for Powerful Orgasms on Baby Dykes
In just about every round-up review I do, I include the Magic Wand Rechargeable.
Why? Because it is that versatile and is the most powerful massager on the market. For cis-women, that means more orgasms, because 70% of women get off on clitoral stimulation, rather than penetration.
In fact, I have a very good friend (incidentally, she is a Baby Dyke) who can’t orgasm from any other toy, but the Magic Wand. Betty Dodson also helped 1000s of women find their orgasms during the 1970s using the Magic Wand as her tool of choice and she still champions it today.
Sure, I could recommend another shinier, newer, prettier massager, but the truth is, the Magic Wand Rechargeable works and is reliable. I have used fakes, rip-offs and other types of massagers only to have them break down, wear out, or just not be as powerful as the “original”. The Rechargeable is my go-to vibe for quick tension release orgasms, and I call mine “O, Come Yee Old Faithful”. LOL. I had to put a holiday pun in here somewhere.
Boy Boxer Briefs for Packing a Faux Penis for Chapstick Lesbians and Dykes
The Strap U Mod Strap-On Harness with O Ring is a pair of stylist boy shorts like men’s boxer briefs that houses an O Ring for strap-on play and packing. Made from a cotton-spandex blend, these shorts are super comfortable and you just feel very suave-sexy wearing them as you tune into your masculine energy. They feel like you are just wearing underwear, because… well you are… except you can insert your favorite packing dildo to wear under your 501 button-up jeans and it will stay in place.
The O Ring stretches to accommodate most sized dildos with a flat base. The elastic waistband is thick and strong so will support the weight of your strap-on, and allows for greater mobility and position versatility.
Machine washable. Sizes M/L and L/XL. Materials Cotton, spandex, rubber. Color Black. Note dildo not included.
Finger Dildo for Finger Banging G-spot Orgasms for Pillow Queens and their Lovers
The Simple and True Extra Touch Finger Dong (say that 3 times fast!), is a finger dildo that works like an extension of your hand for fingering fun. It is curved to reach the G-spot and long enough to hit the deep spot way inside the vagina.
If you have ever fingered someone, you will know how hard it is to keep up the stamina without getting cramps. This extension allows you to bang away without fatigue or cramping so is ideal for Pillow Queens, or more essentially, their Lovers, since they are doing all the work!
This toy fits your finger like a glove, and is flexible to give that perfect come-hither motion that produces G-spot squirting orgasms.
Made of body-safe silicone, you don’t have to worry about nasty phthalates or yucky chemical additives in your sex toy. One size fits most.
(Incidentally, a Pillow Queen is someone who likes to be on the receiving end of sex, being pleasured yet not reciprocating. Basically a selfish “bottom”.)
The Muse for GenderQueer Femmes
The Muse vibrator is an awesome clitoral stimulator for GenderQueers, Femmes and just about anyone who has a clit. But it is kind of cute and girly, so perfect for feminine queer folk.
What is so awesome about the Muse? Well, aside for the 10 function vibrations, it has these rabbit ears that snuggle the clitoris from both sides (or top/bottom, whatever you prefer) to give you crazy clitoral stimulation and amaze-balls orgasms.
Use it as a foreplay tool, or during g-spot fingering and/or anal play for blended orgasms.
Made of body-safe silicone, is waterproof for shower and bath play and rechargeable. Available in Black, Pink, Red and Purple.
Max Twist Triplets Nipple and Clit Suckers for Tit Kings
If you and your partner are into breast play and nipple “torture” or stimulation, then you may want to try out XR Brands Size Matters Twisted Triplets Nipple and Clit Suckers. Personally, I like to call them the “Twisted Sisters”.
These babies can provide mild to extreme suction (so use with care), to suck the nipple deep inside the clear cylinders 4” in length. Easy to use, these suckers don’t need a pump. They produce suction with a simple twist of the tightening key at the top.
Lube around nipples and/or clitoris for a smooth strong seal and twist top to vacuum to secure in place, sucking your sensitive flesh inside. Makes nipples and clitoris increase in sensitivity with blood flow.
Fifty Shades Darker Adrenaline Spikes Metal Pinwheel for BullDyke Butches
Okay, so I couldn’t end this review without adding at least one Fifty Shades product into the mix. It seems that the Fifty Shades brand by LoveHoney makes something for everyone, including lesbians and dykes. And, while I am not a fan of the books, the toys are well-made and great for beginners who want to experiment with kinkier play.
This “Adrenaline Spikes Pinwheel” is from the “Darker” series and is your average Wartenberg wheel made out of metal featuring 22 spokes on a little wheel. While it looks dangerous, and could be nasty if used the with force, it is mainly used for erotic stimulation and sensory play. The little spikes don’t really hurt unless you press them hard, but rather tickle and tingle the area you are stimulating. Greats for nipples, and other sensitive erogenous zones.
If you do use them with force they will dig in and leave a trails of tiny pricks in the skin, so be forewarned. Designed for couples of all kinds. Comes with a satin storage bag. Logo etched on handle.
So, that’s it for my round-up of the 20 Best Sex Toys for Real Lesbians for today. Stay tuned until next week when I feature Part 2 and then next 10 toys.
Incidentally, if you want to purchase any of these products (or the 50K variations we have in stock!) go to Store.Sexpert.com and take a look around!
This review is meant to be sardonic. I don’t actually endorse the use of stereotypes or labels. Their use in this review is in fun and to show the “diversity” of the sex toys that “real” gay women could use. And, no offense to the movie “Bound”, the TV show “The L Word” or Cosmo Magazine who may have been criticized by others in the past for glamorizing authentic lesbian culture.
Thanks to these sources for lesbian slang usage and terms: