It’s almost 2019 and time to set some love & sexy resolutions. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, the new year is always a good time to re-set your sex life, whether you currently have one or not.
1.) Get in shape.
This #1 one New Year’s resolution is important for your sex life. It’s a fact; more athletic, in-shape people have better sex. That’s because they have more endurance, are more confident, and are not embarrassed by their hanging fat deposits. You don’t have to have a perfect body to have great sex, as nobody has one, but exercising will make you feel better in general. If you’ve acquired a holiday “food baby,” start with a walk everyday. Build up to a “run walk” and finally, you will be running your fat off.
2.) Break off any relationships that are emotionally draining you.
If you are single: If you are in any relationship that emotionally drains you, it might be time to break it off. If you are single, the new year is a good time to assess whether you want to be in this relationship in five years. You should be with someone who adds to your life and builds you up.
3.) Get out more.
Meet new people in real life instead of getting ghosted, bread crumbed, and benched by the 50% of people on Tinder and other dating sites who are pretending they aren’t already in relationships or married. Meet people in “target rich” environments. If you are a foodie, go to food & wine events, if you love movies, go to film festivals, books, go to book festivals. Meet someone you have something in common with. You never know where you might find love.
4.) Talk to each other about what’s bothering you.
If you are married and your relationship is having problems, talk to a couple’s therapist before your communication problems get any worse. Therapists often say that by the time couples come to them, the relationships is a disaster. Talk to someone and make it better before that happens.
For fun, take a look at real therapists who work with couples trying to have better relationships. On Vh1’s Couples Therapy, the awesome Dr. Jenn Mann works with couples of all sorts, including couples who shouldn’t even be having relationships with each other in the first place. Its interesting to watch what issues other couples are having, so you can help figure out yours.
For more couple’s therapy watching, check out the trainwreck couples on We T.V.’s Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars, with the brilliant Dr. Venus Nicolino, “Dr. V”, a clinical psychologist, and Dr. Ish Major,”Dr. Ish” an experienced psychiatrist. The two of them dig deep into each couple’s childhood issues to reveal how they bring childhood trauma into their adult relationships, and how to reverse the pattern and make relationships better.
5.) Go out of your comfort zone.
Like trying a new exercise program, use the same thinking in your sex life. If you’re in a relationship, make a list of 5 sexual fantasies you want to try. Have your partner (or partners!) do the same. Out of the five, see which fantasies match, discuss first, mentally prepare beforehand, then just do it. Just remember that like BDSMr’s who do the most extreme things establish a comfort zone by using the words “green light”, “yellow light”, and “red light”, to stop at any time and to keep things from getting weird.
6.) If you are married or in a relationship, stop being mad at each other and talk about what’s bugging you, rather than shutting down. Make 2019 about hope, love, and fun.