A Fidget Spinner For Your Butt

Fidget Spinners, the new toy craze that has has swept the nation, has trickled down… to the butt. The toy, originally invented for people with ADHD and autism, helps people to relax by creating over-stimulation and focus. Now, an etsy entrepreneur  has invented a sexy version of the spinner to help people’s butts relax.

“Here’s something to help keep that A$$ focused,” she says. “That’s right friends, help combat ADHD and get stuff done with your very own spinning booty toy. Social anxiety? Easily distracted? This is sure to help keep you focused in bed.”

Called GlowFyourself, the inventor says you can “Be the talk of every party, become the rectal tilt a whirl you’ve dreamt of, legitimately identify as that Apache attack helicopter you’ve always known you really were!”

“Imagine the look on co-workers’ faces as they watch your stress levels bottom out, this toy could be the thing that keeps you cool and collected, any time your stressed, just sit and spin!”

Um, does that mean its okay to use the thing at work?

The butt plug comes in three sizes, but our interpretation is “small, medium, and omg my ass is killing me.”

The company also offers a shit load of other butt plugs, including a “mood ring” butt plug for “50 shades of pleasure,” $50.00, or a $35.00 gifty Buddha butt plug key chain chain for some “what goes around comes around and then goes up the butt” kind of thing.

The fun and fearless butt plug collection was created by Portland designer and artist Jesse Lindsay, who says “This is the story of a few brave souls, willing to risk it all, their jobs, their spouses..their very lives…to make awesome stuff, for your butthole…”

In addition to these things helping you “get shit done,” they are funny gifts for anyone too shy to try themselves.

Play with your fidget while it plays with your butt. Stainless steel. $35.00.

Then there’s the “magic 8 ball butt plug, that is “Great for birthdays, baby showers, convincing your friends you have magic powers, gag gifts, help with making REALLY important decisions, gambling, finding Gary Busey, and probably all kinds of other crap!”

Feel the magic for $45.00.

And for those who love Jesus, there is the “Jesus Christ, our lord, butt plug and nipple rings. Feel his face every time you sit down, in church, the car, even at work. “Jesus has returned to where the sun doth not shine.”

Feel Jesus for $45.00.

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. http://www.amazon.com/The-Wild-Girls-Club-Part/dp/0990462129. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. She lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.

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