Sexual Consent Form

Governor Jerry Brown of California recently signed the “Yes Means Yes” Sexual Consent law that requires “affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement” before sex acts can occur, legally. This law comes at a time when the national spotlight is intensely focused on college campus rape, and many women have come forward to protest their mishandled rape cases. President Obama has recognized these botched cases as an emergency and has created a task force to deal specifically with the issue of rape on college campuses.

Positive reactions to the “Yes Means Yes” law say that this will help to move attention away from conversation along the lines of, “Was her ‘no’ good enough?” and toward the accused party. In other words, it has to be a ‘yes,’ not just a non-no, which is definitely a small victory.

Yet despite this “yes” mandate, many attempts at technology to aid in capturing consent have been widely ridiculed, like the famously failed app Good2Go (created by Lee Ann Allman) which was removed from the App Store after a few days of brutal criticism. Personally, I thought it was a good idea. So in the face of this controversial topic, I would like to post a simple Sexual Consent Form that men and women can use to have this conversation, if they so desire. It is my belief that it’s a good idea to talk about sex beforehand, and that if communication of this kind can help prevent even one rape, that is a step forward.

Decide for yourself whether you want to use one before engaging in sex. These are the reasons I think it works:

  1. The Sexual Consent form is a cautionary way for one person to ask permission to have sex with another.
  2. There will be no confusion or miscommunication as far as sexual consent is concerned by both parties.
  3. Nobody is obligated to sign the Sexual Consent Form if they are not ready for sexual intimacy.
  4. The Sexual Consent Form can be a form of foreplay since you get to talk about safer sex and sexual behavior before rushing into it. This can create open communication and lead to mutual trust and respect.
  5. You and your partner get to choose which sexual activities you want to indulge in and list special requests in writing so there are no unrealistic expectations or misunderstandings.
  6. Women can benefit by signing The Sexual Consent Form even if they change their minds in the middle of the sex act. However, instead of using the words “NO” or “STOP,” I created the phrase CODE RED which will not be mistaken for anything other than “HIGH ALERT” hands off, you’ve gone too far. You may be interested to know that non-sexual “Code Words” are often used as an ‘Out Clause’ in consensual B & D/Bondage and Domination and S & M/ Sado Masochism activities so that people don’t get carried away.
  7. The Sexual Consent Form can protect women by raising awareness in the moment.
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Dr. Ava Cadell is America’s #1 Sexpert as a Clinical Sexologist, Sex Counselor, Founder of Loveology University & President of the American College of Sexologists International. Author of 9 books including the upcoming Sexycises by Sexperts: Intimacy Through Yoga, Dr. Ava is also a sought after media therapist & global speaker; her mission is to empower people to overcome sexual guilt & shame so they can enjoy the benefits of healthy, sexual relationships.

2 COMMENTS

  1. I’m really disappointed that this had made it’s way back onto the site after being taken down. It’s nice that you removed some of the most offensive descriptive writing (though the part about women using “no” frivolously remains) but the fact remains that this form is 1000x more likely to be used against victims of sexual assault than it is to help prevent assault from happening.

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