New Spa Procedure “Freezes” Your Private Parts

A spa in Manchester, England has come up with the latest method to “boost your sex life.” The spa, Cryotherapy UK, says its ‘Love Mist’, is available to both men and women, but can only be performed by “trained professionals”. The “trained professionals” part is the scary part of someone freezing your private parts.

According to UK’s The Sun, the junk freezing process is supposed to increase endorphin levels as well as improve the appearance of the vagina, penis, and balls. And who doesn’t want “better looking” cooters, weiners, and balls?

When it comes to keeping up genital appearances, the spa said: “While the skin continues to feel the ‘freeze’ the body sends signals back and forth to the brain. These messengers tell the brain if there is damage to the tissues, to repair them. It generates a tighter, youthful, clear and vibrant genital skin appearance through boosting collagen.” It’s like a facial for your lady bits or man meat.

And how does this go down, down there? The “therapist” blasts a chilly -160 degree vapor over the “genital area” with a liquid nitrogen tank. “During the icy 30-minute treatment, reports the Sun, “which costs £50, the nitrogen is filtered and distributed through a funnel in the form of an ice-cold vapor”. Talk about frigid.

Fun fact: In the 1950’s, the completely sexist term “frigid” referred to women who weren’t interested in having sex with their husbands. The term was challenged in the 1960’s by feminists who blamed the condition on husbands who didn’t know how to give their wives an orgasm.

But back to genital freezing. The spa says it “improves clients’ sex drives as when the sub-zero temperature covers the skin, the sudden drop in heat stimulates the temperature receptors. This prompts the brain to transmit messages throughout the body so the blood vessels undergo ‘vasoconstriction’. The process produces a quicker blood flow and increases endorphin levels, generating a natural high.”

In our opinion, even though the procedure sounds plausible in theory, we wouldn’t go there. You are better off using ice on your junk, or a warming lube that does the same thing. The last thing you need is the “trained professional” who is not really trained, and they freeze your nuts or hoo-ha off.

Last year’s vagina trend was “vaginal steaming,” which was promoted by actress Gwneyth Paltrow. Several health reporters tried it, with one saying that after ten minutes she felt like it “fried” her lady parts.

But we do really like the idea of people trying new things to improve their sex lives.

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. She lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.