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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Erika Jordan’s ‘Advice For Men’ – 3 Steps To Orgasm

Erika Jordan gives men the 3 steps they need to make sure their lovers orgasm!

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan’s ‘Advice For Men’ – When Is The Right Time To ‘Kiss The Girl?’

Stay out of the dreaded friend zone by ‘reading’ your date and going in for a kiss at the perfect time! Watch and learn.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Sexpert Interview With Dr. Pepper Schwartz

Recently I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Pepper Schwartz about her latest passion, the importance of giving your relationship an ‘annual wellness check-up.’ Dr. Schwartz is the author of over 25 books, some of them New York Times bestsellers you may have read, like The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples. She’s is the former president of SSSS, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexualities, and her PhD in sociology truly enables her to relate her sexology work to the people it’s intended to help!

In this telephone video interview, Dr. Schwartz talks about how couples can connect in simple but vital ways, making sure they listen to each other and have their feelings heard and understood. Taking the time to listen to your partner about intimate concerns is something many couples put off endlessly, yet it’s often the only hurdle in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

She gives tips on how to keep up the physical bonds of affection by just holding hands again, being curious about each other, and adding something new to the mix.

As AARP’s www.aarp.org love and relationship expert, Dr. Schwarz makes it her mission to write about sensitive topics like painful sexual intercourse. One of her recommendations is to use Replens a vaginal moisturizer that has no estrogen in it and has been scientifically proven to plump up severely atrophied tissue.

Pepper Schwartz has devoted her life to furthering the fields of intimacy and sexuality as an acclaimed author, researcher, and TV personality. To learn more about her prolific work check out her website at: https://pepperschwartz.com/

Pheromones Make You More Attractive, Social & Successful

Have you ever been drawn to someone whose smell was intoxicating and you just couldn’t stop thinking about them? That’s called chemical attraction, and is caused by our natural pheromones that are secreted from our glands, which send signals to trigger specific mating responses in our brain. They are sensed by an organ in the nasal passage known as VMO, then send messages to the brain to interpret signals that can include fertility, confidence, sexual attraction, trustworthiness and even success or power. Consequently, pheromones can produce overwhelming attraction, even when the physical attributes are lacking.

Studies have shown that pheromones can help others to see you as more open, attractive, charismatic, and easy to talk to. They can facilitate conversations, interest and create enhanced friendly feelings. For best results, apply just below the neckline and wrists where you have your sweat glands. For a variety of products infused with pheromones such as candles, fragrances and sunscreen, go to here.

Our natural gender specific pheromones include Androstenone associated with alpha male sexual tension, Androstenedione, a chemical found in sweat, Androstenol, the female pheromone associated with romantic interest and Copulines, the female pheromone released during ovulation that has been shown to increase male testosterone.

Pheromones are emitted from our sweat glands, pulse points and anywhere that we have hair, so you can release attraction-boosting signals by going commando, not showering right after exercising and by not wearing deodorant or fragrances that will mask your natural scent. I’m not suggesting that you don’t maintain good hygiene, but bathing with warm water while cutting down on soap will wash off fewer of your body’s pheromones. You can also enhance your pheromones by eating foods high in zinc such as oysters and other fresh seafood aphrodisiacs known to increase testosterone in men and women.

Independent studies have been conducted at leading universities worldwide, such as Stanford University, the University of California at Berkeley, the University of Chicago and the Karolinska Institute, one of Sweden’s oldest medical schools have shown that pheromones do have a profound effect on human behavior.

Interview With Sitara Devi, Modern Courtesan

New York based East Indian courtesan, Sitara Devi, is candid in her description of why men pay $1,500 for a brief encounter with her. She says that while men do value looks, a woman has to offer more than that to win over the VIP clientele she entertains. She is spiritually and intellectually elevated. She’s well-spoken with a magnetic energy and a charitable heart.

With long chocolate locks, smooth dark beige skin, a luscious derriere that is most en vogue, and a body limber from Yoga classes, she would easily fulfill the fantasy of any man or couple who has a curiosity about the charms of a Bollywood beauty or Hindu love goddess. She considers this an untapped market that is growing right along with the visibility of Indian women in media and in the workplace.

“A lot of my clients are non-indian men that have a budding desire in them because they don’t have access to her (Indian women) but the lust for her has been building in them.”

In my interview with the erotic, multicultural companion and sacred sexuality guide, Sitara told her unique story of going against the societal grain to follow her true life calling in erotic servitude to those seeking a deep, meaningful, soul connection in their intimate encounters.

There are “guidelines” for Indian women, she says. “You become a doctor, you meet a suitable Indian guy, you have kids…”. Although she did follow social norms to the extent  of receiving a Master’s degree and a notable professional résumé, she discovered that the freedom to exercise her true life calling was far more rewarding than following the traditional “blueprint” that was expected of her as an Indian woman.

“Indian woman are raised with the ‘good Indian girl’ stereotype. It’s a total lie. There’s a lot of pressure in my culture for women to be a certain way. I’ve met a lot of Indian women who are not happy having followed that or don’t have the same class and grace and well-roundedness that I have because of all the different paths that my life has taken.”

Sitara feels liberated by her unusual path. Not only is she confident about breaking free of the pressures of society to do certain things or play a certain role, she is passionate about providing clients with a safe space to do the same. “For me, sexuality is sacred. When two people strip away all the roles they have to play and let go of the heavy societal conditioning that they hold, they can have access to something in that moment that connects them to Divine Source, that takes them to a higher experience orgasmically.”

To her, eroticism is godliness, and she feels that most people are too trapped in their everyday pressures to truly let go and experience the sexual bliss they deserve, which is why it’s paramount to her to help people tap into a more relaxed physical state and higher spiritual frequency during their sessions. “Men on our planet are so hungry for emotional intimacy where they get to lay down all the shields that they’re holding. They don’t have to be masculine. They can allow themselves to relax and just be themselves. Conscious touch, not robotic, is something that men are missing.”

Sitara considers herself a lifestyle coach as well, and client’s often request her guidance to be able to call upon this spiritual source of pleasure even when they aren’t with her. She speaks about her work with clients of various backgrounds and physical abilities with pride because she enjoys helping people who face challenges like social anxiety, deep psychological blocks, or serious physical limitations. She insists that her profession makes her feels closer to her ancient roots, which she explains are heavily tied to sexuality.

“Hindu mythology is full of stories where the woman is both strong and feminine. She is both soft and a heroine at the same time. She is goddess and warrior.” In one famous story, Draupadi, an important female character in the Mahabharata (a Hindu epic) was married to five men. Sitara compares herself to this ancient princess. “I am a big believer that no one person can fulfill all our needs. I feel very lucky that I have the ability to have different men in my life which help serve different needs and I serve one need in their life.”

As a practitioner and teacher of tantric philosophy, Sitara believes her career as a pleasure provider is ideal for her. She feels “aligned with the goddess archetype” and thoroughly enjoys focusing her efforts on providing clients with an escape into a heightened sense of connection and fulfillment. It is important for her to continuously better herself as a sacred sexuality guide by taking classes and workshops where they’re available to her and what she takes away, she incorporates in private time with her clients.

“I have taken ample classes by different well-known instructors in the world of sacred sexuality, tantra, mind body souls, healing.” When telling me how yoga carries over to her work, she explained that the “fundamentals of yoga is about breath, it’s about awareness, it’s about presence, it’s about being in the moment. We [usually] engage with sexuality in a very hard and fast way but I prefer long, extended dates because I really enjoy men dropping all elements on what they have on the outside.” For her, yoga is among other philosophies that she believes enhance intimate experiences, but of course, it has other benefits. “I can do some pretty fun things with it in the bedroom.”

And what about those other women in her clients’ lives? Does she have any thoughts about them or resentment towards her married clients for coming to see her privately? She thinks nothing negative about her work, her clients or the other women at all. “I feel like I am an outlet where a man can release a lot of his tension so that when he goes home to his wife, he feels more relaxed and there’s less drain on their marriage. I give her man a sense of freedom so that she has a lighter load when he goes back home to her. I’m a sort of peacekeeper.”

Her positive approach towards life and her erotic services shine through in every statement she makes. Time with her is what she describes as experiential and her ability to provide a unique and spiritually elevating way for her clients is her deepest joy. She is not someone who is bound to “the conditioning of the 21st century girl” or focused only on the exterior. She is a woman who is in the fortunate position of being truly in touch with the “life force”, which she explains is our radiance, energy and vitality – all coming from our sexuality, and she holds that sacred. “I see it as a gift.”

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How To Make A DIY Sex-Attracting Fragrance

Olfactory senses play a significant part in our sexual stimulation. Whether we’re aware of it or not, smells send important chemical messages to potential mates. Tests show that Lavender ranked highly among both men and women, but the scent of licorice earned the most positive erotic response from females while pumpkin (more accurately, the spices we associate with pumpkin) was #1 among men. How appropriate that the holiday season is upon us. It’s one that often hosts scents of spiced pumpkin and other tasty foods, so naturally, it should be one that inspires people to get a little closer. Fun fact: most babies are conceived in December! Coincidence?

If you’re in the mood to entice your romantic interest and heat things up indoors while things get cooler outdoors, you may want to consider creating the ideal scent for your room or for yourself. The steps below are simple, so if you have even the slightest talent for DIY projects, the following is definitely worth trying.

For body:

To make your own irresistible scent, you’ll need a carrier oil, such as jojoba, almond, grapeseed, avocado or sesame oil. These are all easily accessible oils that are lightweight and safely absorb into your skin.

You will also need 100% pure essential oils. FYI, licorice is a difficult smell to come by, but fennel and anise have a licorice smell. Below are suggested oils for you to select from and create your own holiday spice mixture.

In a 10ml roller bottle or perfume jar, mix 10 – 14 drops of each of your favorite smells. You’ll probably want to keep this below 24 drops in total and if you want a particular scent to be stronger, make that number of drops greater than the other scents (EX: 14 drops lead scent, 8 drops secondary scent or 10, 8, 6 of a combo of 3 oils). Fill the rest of the bottle with your preferred carrier oil, close and shake. Apply to hot spots on your body like the back of your neck, wrists or insides of your elbows when you’re ready to seduce.

For home:

  • Decorative jar
  • Reed diffuser sticks
  • Essential oils (Ex: cedarwood, lime, vanilla, nutmeg, cardamom, clove, cinnamon, pine, orange, anise, ginger)

To create your own diffuser, blend 1/4 cup of hot water with ¼ cup of vodka…yes, vodka. Then, ad no more than 25 drops of whichever combination of essential oils you chose to blend to create your ideal scent. Mix it up, then carefully pour it in into a decorative jar. Dip a handful of diffuser sticks in the jar, then take your stick out, turn them upside down, place them back in the jar and let them stay in that way. The subtle scent that this ads to your home will help set the right mood for your time with you company.

Enjoy!

To Spit Or Swallow?

I was in the nail salon, gazing at a turned off television flanked by fake flowers, when the age-old question, “Do you spit or swallow?” eeked into my brain. “Spit or swallow” is the harshly limited ultimatum posed to teenagers, and most of us haven’t heard it since high school. Back then, I’m pretty sure I knew girls who answered both ways. Not being on the receiving end of fellatio, I took little note of who said what or why.

While one hand soaked and the other’s nails were filed, I wondered, “does anyone really spit?” Do women actually take ejaculate into their mouths and then spit it out because they object to swallowing? Is there a reason for objecting to swallowing other than disliking the taste? Doesn’t everyone know that tastebuds are on the tongue and not in the stomach?

While my polish was applied, I determined that no, no one spits. At least not anyone out of high school, and probably not even teenagers, given the extent of information and entertainment on the internet. That might have been that (I’m good at deciding things and singularly declaring them to be true) if the subject hadn’t come up later that night.

Our spit vs. swallow conversation derived from the topic of sexual education and the darnedest things kids say. A friend’s pre-teen had recently learned that oral sex is a thing, and wondered why people do it.

“So, but, do kids actually still talk about ‘spit or swallow’?” I interjected. Does ANYONE spit? I mean, for reasons other than being stimulated by the visual of spitting and then maybe licking it back up?”

I got a few blank looks and the familiar comment, “You’re on the other far side of the spectrum.”

Someone suggested I conduct I survey. We all admitted that, coming from Taboo’s social media followers, the results would be extremely biased. Then I did it anyway.

Here’s what my seven question, extremely biased “Let’s Talk About Head” survey taught me:

60% of women really enjoy giving head. 30% dig it when they’re in the mood, and 10% will do it to please their partners. Conversely, a whopping 90% of men love performing oral sex and only one responded that he didn’t enjoy it at all.

When it comes to climax, 75% of women and 84% of men want to do it in their partners’ mouths.

When I asked how women feel about their partner climaxing in their mouths, 58% said it turns them on. 33% responded “It’s nice, I guess.” 7% refuse it.

Contrarily, 88% of my male respondents are turned on by receiving orgasm orally! High fives!

 Finally, do women spit or swallow?

My super-scientifically sound survey determines that 79% of women swallow.

7% spit because they don’t don’t enjoy swallowing, 5% spit because they find it erotic, and 9% never let ejaculate touch their lips. Those who find spitting erotic were some of the first to respond, so I’m pretty sure they’re my employees, but I stand by the authenticity of my results.

So, okay, a few of you do spit. Color me the teensiest bit wrong and the slightest bit confused. However, I like it when sexual practices surprise me. It means folks are keeping it fresh, which is one of the first rules of good sex.

Another is being true to yourself. While pushing personal boundaries is often stimulating, no one should feel pressured to participate in what makes them uncomfortable.

You do you, but I’ll leave you with a healthful facts about semen:

  • Is a natural anti-depressant
  • Contains anti-anxiety hormones
  • Encourages better sleep through melatonin
  • Improves memory and brain function
  • Contains zinc, an antioxidant that slows aging

Cheers.

How To Improve A Woman’s Chances Of Orgasm During Penetration

The female orgasm during penetrative sex is elusive for many, and nothing but a folk tale for others.

Sex Therapist Al Cooper states in Understanding the Female Orgasm that up to 75% of women cannot orgasm with regular penetrative sex alone. And sexologist Robert Birch has reported that 10 – 15 % of American women have never even experienced an orgasm, via penetration or otherwise!

This makes bringing a woman to orgasm a very tough job for guys!

For men, having an orgasm is easy. Simple, straightforward stimulation to the penis, and the VAST majority of guys are “off to the races” in just a few minutes.

Women require much more to have an orgasm… they require:

  • Clitoral stimulation

  • Comfort / completely at ease

  • Strong mental arousal

  • Stimulation of other erogenous zones in many cases

When everything combines correctly, a woman can have an orgasm. (Note: g-spot orgasms and cul-de-sac orgasms, are possible, but for sake of ease, I’ll just focusing on clitoral orgasms).

And with the way we were built as humans, both male and female, we don’t “match up” very well anatomically during sex, in order for a woman to have an orgasm. Many women have some distance between their clitoris and vaginal opening, so regular penetrative sex just doesn’t provide direct enough stimulation for them to get off.

And watching porn doesn’t make men any wiser, or more educated as to giving a woman an orgasm… a guy “banging” away at a woman, slapping at random parts.

So How Should We Penetrate To Give a Woman an Orgasm?

The clitoris is most important when it comes to a woman’s orgasm, so pressure must be put on the clitoris.

There are a few methods to accomplish this during regular intercourse.

The “Rough Rub”

This is the way to penetrate that I have experienced the most success with.

Ever see how a woman gets herself off when she’s on top? Rather than an in-and-out banging, it’s a rough, swift, back-and- forth rubbing of her clit on your pelvis… your penis is almost just an afterthought on the inside. And notice how she doesn’t even separate herself from your body.

Now try and replicate this motion when you are on top.

Rub your pelvis ROUGHLY and VERY QUICKLY into her clitoris (after you’ve eased into it, of course…). Don’t let the pressure up, and make sure you are doing as long of a rub as possible… not a short range. Speed, pressure and friction is important here.

When taking breaks, try a forceful push into the clit for a few seconds (another penetrative technique on its own)…

Throw in some extracurricular stimulation (playing with her erogenous zones), dirty talk (or sweet talk, if she prefers), and the VAST majority of women will be having an orgasm in no time.

The Coital Alignment Technique

With the Coital Alignment Technique, rather than penetrating in an in-and-out fashion, you penetrate in more of an up-and-down fashion, with the base or top of your penis (your least sensitive part) rubbing against her clitoris (her most sensitive part).

While my success with this technique has been a bit off and on, it does serve as a nice change up when performing the other techniques, and you never know… it may work perfectly for both you and her.

The Hot and Ready

Warming up a woman’s clitoris before penetration is your best bet, regardless of what technique you will be going for.

Oral or manual stimulation to her clitoris will make your job much quicker / easier when actual sexual intercourse begins.

Even the good old fashion “banging” form of penetration can work if you get the clitoris aroused enough before beginning.

Hopefully together we will be making bedrooms all over the world much happier places.

Embarrassed To Buy Condoms? Safer Sex, Delivered

Is anyone really embarrassed to buy condoms at the store anymore? Apparently so. If you search Google for “too embarrassed to buy condoms” 1.76 million results appear. You’ll find countless articles titled along the lines of “How To Buy Condoms Discreetly” or “10 Things More Embarrassing Than Buying Condoms,” and terrified teens tearing up the message boards on Reddit and Yahoo! Answers with cries for help like “I’m too embarrassed to buy condoms. Help!”

Embarrassed cartoon face

Here’s a thought, kiddos: Buy them on Amazon! Or… have a little more fun with your online shopping and subscribe to CupidQuiver, a monthly condom subscription service (like Birchbox for beauty products, BarkBox for doggie goods, or HelloFresh for recipes, this is a box for sex) that delivers you condoms before you need them. What CupidQuiver offers that Amazon doesn’t are fun little extras like free lubes, little role play cards, sexy tips on using lube, and/or other miscellaneous product they decide to throw in for fun.

“Remember the Saturday Night Live skit, D**k in a Box? We like to think of ourselves as Sex in a Box,” quips Todd Harris, President of CupidQuiver, which launched in mid-March.

But in all seriousness, the beauty of what CupidQuiver provides is that they reliably deliver what you need before you need it. “The goal for our clients is to have fun, safely, and to always be prepared. Nothing is worse than getting intimate only to realize you are out of protection! Remembering condoms after-the-fact is not ideal,” says Harris.

Here’s how it works: You choose the type of ID Condoms condom that you want: Studded, Extra Thin, Extra Large, or Superior Feel Lubricated. Then you choose your package: No Strings Attached (1 condom for $1 plus $2 shipping and handling), Friends with Benefits (3 condoms for $5), Singles Mingle (6 condoms plus 1 ID lube for $7), or Lucky You (10 condoms plus 1 lube for $10). The latter three packages include shipping and handling. And, you can easily change your subscription based on how fast or slow your sex life is moving.

Harris tells Sexpert.com that they are shooting for a late-July launch of curated “Fun Boxes.” “They will include sex toys, more tips, and other bedroom goodies,” he says.

CQ Mailer

How To Share Your Kink: Communication Tips

Most of us look for ways to improve our sex lives, even if we’re generally happy with whatever we have going on. Discovering a new kink or fetish often leads to a desire to bring that into your bedroom, but getting what you want can seem difficult. Many couples enjoy a healthy and active sex life but they rarely – if ever – actually discuss their sex lives with each other. So when one partner wants something new, it seems like an impossible task to introduce the idea to the other person.

But getting what you want in bed isn’t really that difficult. These five steps will take you through the process and ease you into introducing the topic to your partner and developing a healthy foundation for your sexual future.

Know What You Want

In many cases, a person will know what they want. Maybe they want to try spanking or having their partner blindfold them. Specific acts are easy to pin down, but sometimes things are a bit trickier. Sometimes a person knows what they want the end result to be, even if they’re not sure how to get there. A woman might see a video on female ejaculation (also known as squirting) and want to try achieving that kind of orgasm. But squirting isn’t something that comes easy to most women and there are very specific sexual techniques partners need to use in order to achieve that goal.

Explore Your Kink On Your Own First

Whatever your kink or sexual goal, do a little research on your own before bringing it up to your partner. This means checking out movies, books, erotic fiction and shopping around for the accessories or supplies you’ll need. Exploring the kink or fetish a bit on your own will make it easier to talk about with your partner. This will also make it easier to speak with confidence and get past any initial awkwardness.

Ask Instead of Ordering

People respond better to being asked something rather than having a demand levied. Don’t tell your partner what you two will be trying out, ask them how they feel about the kink. Share your own interests, listen to what they have to say and encourage each other to have a deep and meaningful conversation about the topic. If you’re interested in trying out different forms of BDSM, discuss how much you’re willing to give or receive along with how comfortable your partner is. Don’t demand the whole nine yards right away – ask your partner about his or her comfort level and use that as a starting point.

Lose Your Inhibitions

Being open and communicating what you want from sex isn’t the time to beat around the bush or speak in riddles. Be frank and up front about what you want before and during sex. Don’t hold back to ask your partner to squeeze more, pinch tighter or change the level of intensity. At the same time, don’t hold back when it comes to telling your partner how good something make you feel. The more information you share with your partner, the better they’ll be able to please you – and the more likely they’ll be to communicate with you.

Stay Open to Spontaneity

Exploring a fetish or new kink means following some sort of plan since you’ve done your research and have things you want to try. But don’t let that process prevent you from being spontaneous with your partner. If you’ve been playing around with pegging and he wants to throw some light whipping into the mix, give it a try if it’s within your comfort levels. There’s no wrong way to explore sexuality with your partner, so don’t be afraid to mix things up and try different combinations. It will keep your sex life interesting, encourage communication between the two of you and will make it easier for you both to have the best sex of your lives.