Monday, May 20, 2019

Erika Jordan’s ‘Advice For Men’ – Get Her Off Her Phone & Into Bed

Visit me at www.virtualsexpert.com.

I’m a licensed Loveologist and health coach and I’ve got some great advice for men on how to get a woman OFF THE PHONE and into bed.

We’re all distracted by our phones, but what is she looking at? Can you engage with her? Or better yet, can you create a no-phone day for some lusty romance instead? Let me know in the comments below how it works for you, because your sex life suffers when you can’t get her off the screen!

The Hottest Teen Girl Trend Is Labiaplasty

Gynecologists report that teen girls are asking for labiaplasty procedures to “perfect” their young lady bits.

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, there was an 80% increase in labiaplasty from 2014. What’s the deal with this trend? Apparently, now teenage girls shave and wax their pubic hair, which makes the vajajay more visible and “imperfect.” Little do teen girls know, but the size and shape of a female vagina and its labia are body parts young men don’t judge. They’re just happy to see one.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) blames it on “increasing trends in pubic hair removal, exposure to idealized images of genital anatomy, and increasing awareness of cosmetic vaginal surgery.”

The trend is so out of control that the Gynecologists have issued guidelines on how doctors should talk with adolescents about labiaplasty, which reduces the size of uneven labia. They recommend that doctors inform young women of wide range of shape and sizes of labia, and that there is no “normal” standard of vaginal beauty. The last thing teenage girls should be worried about is whether or not their vagina “fits in.”

Julie Strickland, the chair of ACOG’s Adolescent Health Care Committee and lead author of the study said. “Variety in the shape, size, appearance, and symmetry of labia can have particularly psychological effects on young women. It’s one more body part that women are insecure about and it’s our job, as Ob-Gyns, to reassure our young patients.”

Erika Jordan’s “Advice for Men” – 4 Ways to Get to the Second Date

Are you good at first dates, but can’t seem to get that second chance? It could be one of these four things that I outline in this video. You’ve got to show confidence and be positive, or else what’s in it for her? Make sure you’re leaving her with the impression that you’re a fun person to be around and you’ll be having fun with or without her. That’s the moment when she’ll be texting for a second time around.

People want to be involved with someone who makes them feel good, and someone who – perhaps ironically – doesn’t need them to be happy. No one wants to be responsible for making someone else happy, they’d rather be lifted up themselves! It just makes sense.

So take a look at these four tips and let me know in the comments what works for you to get to that second date.

You can find me at www.virtualsexpert.com where I’ve got lots more tips and tricks for dating.

How To Take A Dick Pic

Everyone is doing it, so you mind as well learn how to take a good shot. But, before we get started, the first rule of thumb is to only send one to someone who asked for it. Most women don’t appreciate an unsolicited photo of your cock.

While it used to be considered a crass, immature thing that only Tinder users do as a 20-something booty-call tactic, the truth is that there are a rising number of committed couples that have realized the power of sexting with their mate. And, while sexting doesn’t have to include naked photos, it’s a nice way to get your partner in the mood…if you do it right!

A prime example of an epic fail on this front comes from one of my friends who has been married for over 10 years. She and her husband started sexting each other to spice things up. It’s actually good foreplay, especially if you sext during the day to get him excited to come home and, well, come with you.

Unfortunately, my friend’s husband made a few critical mistakes. His first mistake taking the photo in the bathroom with the toilet seat up and not flushed. When he tried again, some of their kids’ toys were in the background. Toilets and children didn’t exactly get her hot and heavy.

Taking a good dick pic is such a “thing” now that there’s even a New York photographer who is making a business out of it. Soraya Doolbaz, who calls herself “a professional dick photographer,” takes the traditional dick pic up a notch by creating little costumes from doll outfits and personalities for her male models. Her “Dicture Gallery” features guys’ penises dressed up as everything from Napoleon Boner Parte to Dongye West to Adolf Clit Tickler. She even exhibited her photographs at the world-famous Art Basil in Miami last year.

If you don’t want to go that far, just follow these simple tips for your own dick selfies…

Trim the Trunk

Proper grooming is always the first best step to anything sex or genital related. Make sure you’re trimmed up nicely… unless full bush is truly your thing. But, if it is, please remember that most women don’t dig the ’70s bush.

Edit the Scene

Just like setting the scene for Skype sex, it’s important to be aware of your background. It’s more about what you don’t want to show – the toilet, dirty towels, toothbrushes, kid or pet toys, and clutter, etc. If you take the shot in a mirror, look what’s in the reflection and edit out anything that is not sexy.

Consider Your Privacy

If you are afraid of getting hacked or confused about how can get into your Cloud, it’s perfectly fine to send a photo that doesn’t show your face. In fact, some women find it sexier…even if you have a handsome mug. “My boyfriend sent me a dick pic once with his full body and face in it and the look on his face just cracked me up. He was trying too hard to look sexy for the camera, that it kind of backfired. Just a pic of his junk would’ve been hot enough,” says Rachel, 35.

Use a Filter

A well-lit penis can make the difference between a reaction of     “ewww” and “ooohhh!” If you can’t figure out the best lighting for your Johnson,    then make good use of filters on your phone. A great filter can help diminish the look of veins, uneven skin color, and even slight blemishes. Black and white is a cool way to go as well.

“A guy I had been talking to sent me a dick pic. The part of his penis that is always exposed was one color – slightly grayish. But, the extended part when he got hard was a nice pink color. I was grossed out by the two-tone,” says Sara, 27.

Position the Pole

The right angle can make your penis look larger. You need to take a lot of test shots from different angles to find your key position. Do a solo photo shoot to figure this out and then have the images saved for when the time comes that a penis pic is requested. If you want to show off your length and girth, put a water bottle in the shot.

Lying down in bed is the sexiest because then every time he says he’s going to bed, I’ll have that image in my head. And, it makes me think that he’s lying there about to jerk off to me, which is super flattering. It’s a great visual. I can’t get my guy’s pic out of mind and I look at it often. The head sticking out of her cool boxers is another way to go.

All right guys, your penis is now ready for its close-up!

10 Ways To Make Time For Sex Over The Holidays – Even If You’re Single

The holidays are right around the corner, but that’s no reason to give up on finding love or keeping your couples passion sizzling hot.  If you’re in a relationship, the in-laws might be driving you crazy or the kids and pets may keep jumping up on the bed ruining your chances for intimacy. Or, if you’re single, you might feel lonely or left out, and wish the stupid cozy, romantic season would just end already.

That’s why I’ve come up with ten great ideas for couples and singles to make love and sex a priority this season.

10 Tips For Couples

  1. Plan for sex by making a date ahead of time – tell your in-laws to take the kids to a movie, or go for it in the middle of the afternoon when no one is home. And make sure to keep the conversation about intimacy on the date!
  2. Being quiet while you’re having sex can super-charge your erotic experience, especially if your family or friends are in the next room. Giggling like teenagers in your childhood bedroom has its own kinky rewards, so don’t be too quick to rule it out.
  3. Use technology to build anticipation. Send your partner sexts describing what you’d like to do during the day to make them smile, and invite them to rendezvous later.
  4. Quickies never go out of style. You might only have fifteen minutes alone with your partner, so make out passionately, give each other oral pleasure or tease with a little striptease. Sex doesn’t always have to be a marathon.
  5. Put some sexy toys on your partner’s gift list so that you can share new experiences together and have even more fulfilling sex.
  6. Do a “sexy wish exchange” with your partner. Exchange a fun list of three things that could heighten a romantic, sensual and sexual experience for you with your partner, as in: “I wish you would give me a sensual massage.”
  7. Eat chocolate! Chocolate releases neurotransmitters such as Dopamine and Serotonin that can work as an anti-depressant and make us feel like we are happier or even in love!
  8. Steal a kiss with your lover at least twice a day in the morning and at night but make your smooches last for at least 12 seconds! This is a sure way to maintain passion and intimacy in your relationship. An added bonus is that the man transfers testosterone from his saliva to a woman’s mouth during passionate kissing. You can get away from the crowd for 12 seconds, right?
  9. Play a sexy game – Are you a couple lucky enough to be alone together for the holidays? Have a playful night of strip poker, truth or dare or try one of the many adventures in my book The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games.
  10. Watch or read erotica together. You may be surprised how quickly you’ll both be in the mood if you indulge in some sexy movies or read passages from a naughty book to each other.

If you’re single, make the season a sexy one by treating yourself as if you are madly in love with you! The first step is to lower your stress, which triggers cortisol levels and then increase oxytocin, known as the love hormone.

10 Tips For Singles

  1. Laughter is the best medicine and releases bursts of the feel-good hormone oxytocin, so go to a comedy club or watch a funny movie.
  2. Listening to soothing music releases oxytocin, so listen when you are in stressful situations such as driving in rush hour or cooking. Also, listen to your favorite music without multitasking as studies show that just listening to music for 30 minutes a day is as healthy as meditation.
  3. Do accept invitations to parties and don’t be afraid to go out with someone new on a date even if you know they are not who you are looking for, they could introduce you to your soul mate, become a great friend or even a business contact.
  4. Sexycise to stay in shape and release feel-good endorphins by going to the gym, taking a yoga or Pilates class and even going for a walk in the park or on a beach, which can lead to meeting another sexyciser!
  5. Solo sex with some warming lube is a great way to heat up a cool winter night. Self-pleasuring can boost your immunity so you’ll be less likely to get a pesky cold!
  6. Buy yourself a naughty gift such as satin sheets, new undies, a sex toy, erotic DVD or a sexy book.
  7. Remember that being alone without being lonely is very healthy – so own it! It’s not a negative thing that you need to be ashamed of, it’s an opportunity to reflect on the kind of partner you would want in your life.
  8. Write a list of things you would do if you had your dream partner – why can’t you do them anyway? Take a stroll downtown to enjoy the holiday lights or take yourself out for dinner, to a movie, theatre or a concert and enjoy!
  9. Pamper yourself! Book a massage, a facial, a mani and pedi, or a whole day at the spa! Self-love brings more love toward you.
  10. Get festive and decorate your home, then curl up with a great movie and a glass of wine or cup of tea. Even if no one will see your efforts, YOU will. And that’s the point. You’re worth it. Now take a selfie!

 

Chemicals In Some Sex Lubes Can Cause Bacterial Vaginosis

goodbottle

Oregon-based Good Clean Love has been working in conjunction with Johns Hopkins University on a study about baterial vaginosis, which has been found to unknowingly increase in women using lubricants with added petrochemicals, the same ones used to lube up a car’s engine.
The company has been producing organic, chemical free sex lubes for 11 years, but in recent years the women-owned company gained international attention because of the organic movement and the need for products that are safe. Recognizing this need for the millions of women who suffer from Bacterial Vaginosis  due to petrochemicals that make them sick, Good Clean Love fills the hole, literally.
Check out their Almost Naked Organic Personal Lubricant and “Love Oils” that are made with Apricot Oil, Organic Jojoba Oil and pure essential oil blends. The Love Oils are vegan, edible, glycerin-free, and do not contain questionable, bacteria inducing chemicals. Available at www.goodcleanlove.com or Whole Foods.

 

“Orgasm” Authors Ask Women 9 Questions To Find Their Best Orgasm

When it comes to the female orgasm, there’s a lot of mystery, negativity, and wrong information surrounding it. You might have heard that they take a long time and are really hard to have. You also might have heard that they have to be mind-blowingly amazing and happen at the same time as your partner. Sure – all of these can be true and you might have experienced some. But it’s only part of the story.

Female orgasms comes in all different shapes, sizes, and strength.

There’s no one right way to orgasm. And what’s the best orgasm ever to one person might be the norm to someone else. As I wrote in a past post:

Not all orgasms are created equal. In fact they come in all different intensities, ranging from a quiet whisper to a full body, roll-over-and-pass-out-immediately, earth shattering release. Click here to read more.

The problem is as women we don’t really talk about our orgasms with other women. It’s so easy to assume that what gets you off also works for everyone. There definitely are some things that work for most (vibrators and oral sex I’m talking to you!). But no one thing works for everyone, every time. This also means that what you like, and what qualifies as the best orgasm to you, can change over time.

Part of what makes orgasms so fun is how much variety there is.

When you talk about your experiences and hear about others’ you realize there are so many different and awesome things that get people off. There are so many new things you can play with and explore. But you have to learn about them first!

This need to talk about the Big O more is exactly what inspired Linda Troeller and Marion Schneider to create Orgasm: Photographs and Interviews. In it, they interviewed 25 women of all different ages, nationalities, and social backgrounds about what turns them on and what gets them off. Here are a few of the things the women used to come:

  • Fingers
  • Fantasies
  • A vibrator
  • A shower head
  • Paint brushes
  • A hair brush handle

The women also talked about some things they needed in order to have their orgasm. These included:

  • A deep connection with their partner
  • Love
  • Sunshine
  • Water
  • Safety
  • Feeling relaxed
  • Feeling free

With both of these lists, you probably see some things that surprise you and others that are super familiar. Hopefully some of the surprising ones inspire new fantasies and sexy ideas! The bigger message, and the best thing about sex generally, is that there’s something for everyone.

The other thing they shared is which parts of their bodies were key to their orgasm. For some it was their clitoris or g-spot. Others, their breasts or booty.

Self-pleasure is important for orgasm.

The women knew all this because they spent their time exploring and playing with their pleasure. In fact, many had their first and/or strongest orgasm on their own. For some it was intentional: they decided to explore what felt good. For others, it was an oopsie – something felt good and they kept doing and then they came. Some of the women didn’t even recognize their first orgasm for what it was. Believe it or not, this is way more common than you’d think.

The common theme is that you have the power to create your orgasm. It’s something that comes from your body (and brain), not that someone or something else gives you. You create that pleasure. Pretty amazing huh?! To do this though, you need to know what you like and what you don’t. Self-pleasure is one part of that, especially if you already do it regularly. You might also feel more comfortable exploring with your partner. Or doing both.

What ultimately matters for creating a more intimate, adventurous, and satisfying sex life is that you know what brings you to orgasm, you play with and explore new things, and you practice what works, however many times each week is right for you.

9 Questions to Ask Yourself for the Best Orgasm

To learn about the woman’s orgasms, the book’s creators asked them a series of five questions. Writing down your answers to these is a fun way to figure out what you need to have your best orgasm.

1) What does the word orgasm mean to you?
2) Can you remember your first orgasm?
3) Can you remember your strongest orgasm?
4) Do you have fantasies when you create or experience an orgasm?
5) What is the future of orgasm in society/in the world?

Answering these is super helpful if you struggle to orgasm or want stronger, more regular climaxes. Questions 2-3 are extra important because they help you figure out what was happening when you came the first time and the best time. Here are some four more questions to answer as you describe your first and strongest orgasm.

Visit Kait for the last 4 questions!

How My Lesbian Partner & I Had A Baby

Let’s be honest – when you think about making a baby, it often seems like a fun excuse to “get busy” all the time. It can be spontaneous, sexy, and an all-around awesome experience. However, this is not always the case for every couple – in the case of my wife and I, as a lesbian couple, there was no penis to be found in our bedroom other than in the form of a dildo, and certainly no sperm.

In 2011, I got married to my wife on a beautiful day in October in Provincetown, MA. My wife and I always knew we both wanted to have children, and since I was known as “Spermin Berman,” and had worked in the women’s reproductive health industry for 11 years, we both assumed we would have no problem making babies. What we forgot to consider is the factor I mentioned above: 2 women = no penis or sperm. What are a couple of ladies to do?

After going over our options for trying to conceive – either spend thousands of dollars to have a doctor inseminate my wife, or use a turkey baster or needle-less syringe to try at home – we opted for latter. At least I (as the non-carrying mom) could be involved in the process, right?! Let me tell you, all I could think of while holding that turkey baster full of sperm was “Thanksgiving turkey in the oven” – not so sexy when you’re trying to impregnate your wife! I was even wearing a headlamp, so I could see what the heck I was doing, and trying to maneuver this turkey baster in some sort of non-awkward way. Unless you have done this yourself, it’s hard to even put into words how awkward, awful, and “unsexy” this experience was for us. I started thinking there HAD to be something better than this, for couples like us.

I decided it wouldn’t hurt to do a little research, to see if there were any other options we may have been missing. Unfortunately, my searches came up empty-handed. So, if nothing existed which was better than a turkey baster, why couldn’t I just invent something? And with that, my inner entrepreneur businesswoman fire was lit.

The next few weeks were kind of a blur. I was exploding with ideas, and that’s when The Semenette® was created. I decided to invent a sex toy which would work like a turkey baster, and allow people to mimic an ejaculation, but the process would be infinitely sexier and much more pleasurable. I sought out a manufacturing company to begin engineering my idea, and 2 prototypes later, I had an actual working and functional product. Time to put it to the test!

My wife and I used The Semenette® for the first time in June 2013. We decided to do 2 inseminations that month, as we had a very generous and willing known donor who was willing to “donate” to us as much as possible.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but using The Semenette® compared to using the turkey baster was like night and day – we are talking a polar opposite experiences! The Semenette® allowed me to really feel like I was a part of the baby-making process, and allowed for a level of intimacy and romance that would never be achieved with a turkey baster.

So, at least I knew I had a product which felt good – but did it work? To my wife’s and my utter shock, after those two attempts, she did the ol’ “pee on a stick” test, and when she exited the bathroom, I could see from the look on her face was different this time.

It worked.

She got a positive pregnancy test.

Holy sh*t, it worked!

And then, some of my other friends who wanted to use my prototype, got pregnant as well.

That was my true “aha” moment. I invented something which really worked! I often think about the “hair club for men” commercial from the 80’s where the owner says, “I’m not only the president, I’m also a client!”

There is nothing more rewarding than being able to see my daughter’s face every day and know that all of my hard work, blood, sweat, and tears helped contribute to her being here. Talk about being involved in the process!

It’s been an incredible journey for me with this product, and it hasn’t stopped. To my surprise, there are so many people and communities other than same-sex couples The Semenette® has helped, from either a functional standpoint or simply from a pleasure perspective. It’s extremely rewarding to be able to create a product which helps so many people in so many different ways. From transmen, to pegging, to men with ED or disabilities, The Semenette® brings a unique feature in a strap-on which can be useful in a variety of ways, for a variety of reasons. The possibilities are endless!

On a final note, I’m so happy to share that my wife and I recently found out she is expecting our second baby thanks to the new, about-to-be-released, second version of the toy – “POP by the Semenette®”. I hope my personal story will inspire and intrigue you, and I can’t wait to share more stories of my journey with you.

Top 10 Sexual Resolutions

How can you make 2019 the sexiest year ever? I’ve got a surefire way for you to explore your desires so it can happen for you now!

This is an exercise that I have demonstrated with audiences in the U.S., the U.K. and five cities in Australia, and it’s not only a great ice-breaker for people to discuss their wants and needs, but it results in a tangible blue print for the actions you can take to make your fantasies come true.

I always start out by asking, “Are you making love a priority in your life?” and I usually get mixed results. There are single people focused on their careers who have just started to feel the urge to get ‘out there’ and look for a soul mate, and singles who have been looking forever and keep dating the same type of person who’s making them miserable. There are couples who are afraid they’re growing apart and want to reverse that trend, and couples who are closer than ever, ready to take on new sexual adventures together. There are also couples in predictable relationships where they make love in the same place at the same time in the same position all the time – and at least one of them is not sexually satisfied and could be resentful.

Next I ask everyone write down ten things that they believe would make their love lives better. I encourage you to do this before the new year too! You can choose things like I want to feel confident when I’m naked, or I want more cuddling. Here’s an example of a top ten list from a female client:

1. I want to find the right lover
2. I want to love my entire body
3. I want to overcome my sexual inhibitions
4. I want to overcome my sexual guilt & shame
5. I want to get some amazing sex toys
6. I want to have a sexier bedroom
7. I want to have more time for sex
8. I want sex more often / I want sex to last longer
9. I want to be able to communicate my sexual desires
10. I want to have more sexual adventures

Now that you’ve made your list, I want you to keep the five things from your list that are absolutely necessary in order for you to have more happiness, more satisfaction, more fulfilment, more intimacy and more sex. Then delete the other five.

My female client’s top five list:

1. I want to love my entire body (because she couldn’t surrender to a lover without feeling self-conscious about her weight)
2. I want to find the right lover (it had been four years since her divorce)
3. I want to be able to communicate my sexual desires (her ex-husband was unwilling to learn about her sexual needs)
4. I want to have more sexual adventures (she tried to get her husband to make love in different positions and try Tantric sex, but he said he wasn’t interested)
5. I want some amazing sex toys (she wants to have orgasms even without a partner)

Now, my client was astonished when I asked her to choose only two essential items from her diminishing list. I gave her ten minutes, five minutes for each! She decided to keep:

1. I want to love my entire body (which includes overcoming sexual inhibitions & using sex toys)
2. I want to find the right lover (which includes sexual adventures and good communication)

The next session I spent with this client was dedicated to discovering how she could love her body. We used a naked “Gingerbread Lady” exercise to help. She drew a simple outline of her body, then I gave her a red crayon to highlight the areas on her body that she didn’t like. She focused on her belly and thighs, so we discussed them both, and came up with reasons for her to turn that disdain into love. With her belly, she was self-conscious about the layer of fat, but as we discussed her joyful pregnancy and the miracle of childbirth, she began to see that there were good associations with her belly as well, including a healthy digestive system that had never given her any problems. With her thighs she managed to transform, “They’re too big” into “They’re strong and I love how the muscles feel when I’m hiking.”

After that we tackled how she could find the right lover. I gave her a pheromone-infused lava rock bracelet from Eye of Love to attract potential partners and help make her feel more confident. Then I recommended that she go to three different places where she might find a man with the qualities she was looking for in a partner – a hardware store, a popular hiking trail and a health food restaurant. You may have gathered that she was looking for a man who was fit, handy and a vegetarian! By the way, she met him when he complimented her bracelet.

The thought-provoking conclusion to this new year’s resolution exercise is that you don’t need as much as you thought you did in order to be sexually fulfilled and satisfied! The problem with New Year’s resolutions is that we often write a long list of things we want to change, eliminate or improve that it becomes so overwhelming we don’t do any of them! I don’t want that to happen to you in your love life.

I encourage you to do this exercise because your sexual pleasure is guaranteed to improve the quality of your life, and create memories that last a lifetime.

Sexual Health Expo Highlights

Talk about sex and the city! This season’s Sexual Health Expo featured dozens of leading sex experts and ground-breaking pleasure products all under one roof in Manhattan’s Millennium Broadway Hotel.

Of course the trade floor at SHE is always fun and entertaining. Here I am above with Tom Nardone of Vibrators.com, a unique site that tailors toys to your specific needs. He brought “The Bombshell” with him – the biggest vibrator in the world – and as you can see in the video below, it’s definitely a wild ride.

As SHE Sexpert of the Year 2015, it was an honor to return with a new presentation, this time discussing sexual disabilities and limitations and the positive solutions that disabled people can use to improve their sex lives, including incredible products, toys, games and more.

The Pleasure Chest sponsored the presentations, and were so generous with connecting participants with the products they need. Thank you also to all the companies whose products enhanced my talk. I gave away a hands-free masturbator Hot Octopuss Pulse, the Fleshlight the wearable We-vibe, the non-phallic suction vibe the Womanizer, the incredible male sexual health devices Private Gym and Viberect, and the female kegel exercisers the Apex & Intensity. The Sybian and the Hi were also part of my presentation, and people were able to try out the Sybian vibrating ‘saddle’ at their booth, while Nancy Sutton Pierce was demonstrating the Hi in her suite, helping women masturbate! I also gave away Screaming O rings and tongue vibrators, and learned about an all new device, The Elator, which customizes penis rings to fit a man’s exact size! All of the toys I gave away can be used by people with limitations whether their issues are with mobility, developmental, cognitive, sensory or psychiatric modalities.

Jessica-OReilly-SHE pic

I really enjoyed Dr. Jessica O’Reilly‘s standing-room-only presentation on oral sex which was highly interactive, with people practicing oral techniques on apples, oranges and baby carrots. Apparently she had asked her husband to pick up some carrots for blow job simulation, and he showed up with the baby kind! I truly regret that I couldn’t attend her talk on the G-spot and female ejaculation which was the ‘climax’ seminar. But I did see Dr. Hernando Chaves‘s lecture on Unique Orgasms, a talk that we wrote together and presented at the inaugural L.A. SHE event in January. The clip below shows Dr. Hernando outlining some well-known and little-known orgasmic ‘spots.’

New York is one of the sexiest cities in the world, and I’m glad I was able to see a Broadway show called Kinky Boots, which I recommend for everyone to see because it’s fantastic!