This video gives you the very hot low-down on which sex positions can become anal sex positions, giving them a super-charged erotic twist. Erika’s here to spice up your Netflix & chill evening.
One of my life goals is to help couples discover their compatibilities in order to enrich their sex lives. In my decades-long private practice, I’ve helped many people who didn’t know how to relate to each other, mostly because they were speaking their own language instead of learning the language of their partner. So I developed a unique sexual personality to enhance a much more fulfilling love life mentally, physically and sexually.
This work is what inspired me to start my ongoing research project on sexual compatibility which has reached over 2,500 participants since 2015. Please take a moment to take my anonymous survey here. We don’t collect IP addresses or e-mails – it’s completely private so that individuals feel free to express their true feelings. Plus, it’s fun to answer the questions and think about your own preferences and desires! I encourage you to add to this valuable study.
Here are some of the questions in the survey that are answered on a rating scale, to give you an idea of how we’re trying to categorize behavior to come up with compatibility solutions:
- How important is it that your long-term partner is good in bed?
- Do you like to plan your sexual activity?
- How do you express love?
- How much do you enjoy the following acts? Erotic embrace while dressed, deep kissing, stroking your sexual partner’s genitals, giving or receiving oral sex, favorite intercourse positions, anal sex.
The study is based on psychology’s well-established ‘Big Five’ personality traits called OCEAN (Open, Conscientious, Extroverted, Agreeable, Neurotic) which began with the research of D. W. Fiske (1949) and was continued by other researchers including Norman (1967), Smith (1967), Goldberg (1981), and McCrae & Costa (1987).
Here are some brief descriptions of the five sexual personalities I created based on the ‘Big Five’ psychological personality types. Read them all and see what jumps out at you as familiar or not ‘you’ at all. Find yourself and your partner in these personality types, and choose more than one if you like! It’s all about figuring out who you are and how to successfully communicate with others. There are more detailed descriptions in my free e-book Your Sexual Personality: Find and Keep Your Perfect Match.
OCEAN Sexual Personalities
If you have an Open personality, you are creative and outgoing sexually. You feel comfortable giving the kind of love you would like to receive and are more likely to have adventurous fantasies like threesomes, domination or exhibitionism.
Conscientious lovers are the most mindful, and pay attention with all of their five senses. If you’re sexually conscientious, you are more likely to believe that relationships can be “worked on” to achieve compatibility. You require a higher level of trust before becoming intimate with someone, and are more likely to be turned off by the idea of someone else finding your partner sexy.
Sex with an Extroverted person is energetic and exciting as they enjoy risky sex locales and erotic communication. If you are an extrovert sexually, you’re more likely to be the one who initiates sex and more likely to enjoy sex acts others may consider taboo, like group sex or BDSM.
Agreeable personalities in bed are passionate and loveable with lots of enthusiasm to please their lover. If you’re an Agreeable lover, you are the most likely of all the personalities to be turned on by taking a romantic bath, dancing or sharing meals, and are more likely to express your love through compliments.
Neurotic lovers can be the wildest sexually or the least sexual, depending upon their mood, as they are highly emotional and sensitive. If you are considered a Neurotic sexual personality, you are significantly less willing to talk about your desires and you have difficulty expressing your love. You are less likely to be the one who says, “I love you” first in a relationship.
Did you recognize yourself? Many people find they are a combination of personalities, with some traits from one type and others from another. So what can we do with this information? My e-book also gives you lots of sexy tips for each personality type, but here are a few at-a-glance ideas you can use at home today to spice up your sex life.
If You Are Sexually Open…
Feed your sexual appetite and increase intimacy with new sexual activities you haven’t tried, whether it’s Tantric sex or sensual BDSM power play. Striptease is also a great option for you since you have fewer inhibitions. Even if your partner is not as open as you are, they might enjoy the show! For some Open couples, inviting a third into the mix can also be an appealing idea. Sexually Open and Agreeable people are most compatible because both types are able to give the kind of sex that they need for satisfaction.
If You Are Sexually Conscientious…
Build romance with a bubble bath after a stressful day, followed by an erotic massage or mutual masturbation to promote sexual health and wellbeing. Add erotic talk for orgasmic intensity! As a sexually Conscientious person, you might enjoy taking sexy selfies and sending them to your lover in a ‘for your eyes only’ message that gives them a thrill and makes you feel valued and loved. A Conscientious lover with another Conscientious or an Agreeable lover offers the most compatibility because they are both more likely to express their feelings.
If You Are Sexually Extroverted…
You find it easy to talk about your sex fantasies, especially to another Extrovert, or an Open person, who are your best sex matches. Since you are more likely to make the first move initiating sex, be sure to find out your lover’s boundaries on any unexplored erotic desires you want to explore. You are more likely to enjoy a game of strip poker or be on board to discover his P-spot or her G-spot during sex. Role-playing games may also excite you, for example pretending to be strangers at a bar, and going home together as if you’ve never met!
If You Are Sexually Agreeable…
As the most flexible lover of all the personalities, work on getting your sexual needs met by stating your desires through dirty talk. As you’re likely turned on by erotic visuals, ask your lover to do a striptease and masturbate for your voyeuristic pleasure before having sex.
As an Agreeable, you can create a sex match with anyone – even a Neurotic lover can fall in love or lust with you. Try giving or receiving an erotic massage with a happy ending.
If You Are Sexually Neurotic…
For great sexual experiences, focus your attention on pleasing your lover before yourself. And before sex, have a date that involves laughter such as watching a funny movie or going to a comedy club, as this will access parts of your brain that will help you to relax before sex. Masturbation is a surefire winner for your personality type, and you can work on letting that extend into your sexual relationship as mutual masturbation. Sexually Neurotic people are most compatible with Agreeable personalities.
No matter which sexual personality type or combination of types describe you and your partner, have fun exploring your compatibilities together. And remember, every couple can learn from each other, whether the compatibility test says you’re a good match or not. If you have chemistry, you can train each other to express love in the way that you both want and need for a fulfilling relationship. Just taking the test and reading the e-book will make you feel more empowered with the knowledge that communication is something you can improve.
Erika Jordan offers her sexpert advice for men at www.virtualsexpert.com where you can learn tips like this one on how to pull her hair for the sexiest results.
When I won the very first “Sexpert of the Year” award at the Sexual Health Expo in 2015 (now called Sex Expo), and to be frank, I was taken completely by surprise. I remember seeing the list of high profile nominees like Sunny Megatron and Emily Morse, thinking one of them will surely win, considering everything they contribute to sex education and entertainment.
This month I’m lucky again with a feature article called “From Sex Symbol to Sex Guru” in Sexual Health magazine where Editor-in-chief Ariana Rodriguez interviewed me about how my life journey from a refugee, to orphan, to sex symbol to sexpert led to a successful career in sexology, my new sexual healing book, what’s new with Sexycises and my pheromone jewelry line with Eye of Love.
The SexualHealth crew came to my house aka Shangri-La in Malibu for the photo shoot with Ariana, photographer Dean Capture, Sex Expo producer Sara Ramirez. Paula Tiberius, editor of Sexpert.com and my right hand for the past five years and I had a fun time collaborating on poses and outfits to show the different sides of my persona.
Zorro, my ten year old Ragdoll cat was locked in a bedroom for most of the day, so by the time he came out for his part of the photoshoot, he was pretty grumpy. But we managed to get some flattering shots of him anyway. Don’t worry, I’m not strangling him.
One of the things I love about the Sexual Health Magazine is that they honor the valuable work being done in sexual wellness by so many different experts. If you look at the recent winners, there’s the TV sexologist and author Dr. Jessica O’Reilly who’s touring the world with her speaking engagements and retreats teaching people how to communicate their desires and improve their love lives and Jessica Drake who has turned her adult film stardom into another career as a sex educator, re-inventing sexual instructional videos with her “Guide To Wicked Sex” series. The 2018 winner is sex and relationship therapist Dr. Chris Donaghue, author of “Sex Outside the Lines,” host of Loveline and Director of Clinical Education for the Sexual Health Alliance. I’m honored to be in the company of these individuals who all have their own unique contribution, like me with my university, www.LoveUniv.com.
I believe these awards are an opportunity to lift up voices all across the spectrum of sex educators and love coaches. The bottom line is that it feels great to be validated by a pioneer publication like Sexual Health Magazine because it lets me know that I’m on the right path. I love joining forces with my peers to make the world a more loving place.
Read the full March 2018 issue of Sexual Health magazine for many insightful, informative articles by sexperts.
Erika Jordan gives men the 3 steps they need to make sure their lovers orgasm!
*Photos by IconicPinups.com
You know that old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” Well, these eight women flash some serious side-eye to that sentiment by trying something new, past the age of 40, that transformed their sex lives forever. Here are their suggestions, so take notes!
Try Tantric Sex
Tantric Sex is not all about having sex for hours on end as rock star Sting once boasted. It actually includes realistic practices that can help sex last longer. “My boyfriend and I learned the tantric ‘Breath of Fire’ in which he breathes very fast through his nose to delay his climax. To feel more sensation during the Big O, we growled like tigers to tap into our primal nature. Sounds silly, but it totally worked!” explains Caroline, 51.
Take Sexy Selfies – For Yourself!
For Lisa, 46, taking sexy photos of (and for!) herself gave her a whole new sense of self… and sexiness! “I gained a lot of weight and my self-confidence was down. So I started taking photos of myself for fun. With my digital camera, I was able to control the angle, the lighting, and use a filter and I liked what I saw. I gave me my confidence back. I don’t apologize for my size anymore and I feel more confidence in life and the bedroom,” she says.
Embrace Your Inner Goddess With Buti Yoga
If you want to feel like a warrior princess, a goddess, and a sex kitten all in one hour, then try BUTI yoga. That’s how Carrie, 47, describes this unique yoga practice that combines shakti (the female principle of divine energy) awakening power yoga, primal movements, and tribal dance with a bit of twerking, belly dancing, and exotic dance moves. “When I get out of BUTI class, I want to have sex. I feel sexy, strong, powerful and very fired up. It awakens the goddess in me!” she says.
Take a Burlesque Class
Burlesque, a form of striptease that dates back to the 1800s, helps women learn how to tease and seduce in a classy way using vaudeville-style props and cheekiness. (Pun intended!) “My friend told me it was very empowering, so I gave it a shot. I would practice my routine for my boyfriend after class and we both loved it. I would never dance for a guy like that before, but this class was a real confidence-builder and it spiced up the relationship big time,” says Janie, 47.
Book A Boudoir Photo Shoot
Why should models have all the fun? Photo studios, like Iconic Pinups in L.A., offer Pinup Girl and Boudoir photo shoots to help women tap into their inner pinup model or vixen. ” It brought back the va-va-voom in me! I gave a book of my Iconic Pinup photos to my boyfriend as a gift and it reminded us of our desire for each other. I felt sexier and when you feel sexy, the sex is better!” says Shari, 54.
Sext Your Partner
A recent study reported that 80% of adults have sexted. Have you? Sending sexy photos and/or messages is a great way to add some spice into any relationship. Just ask Alexa, 47. “I’ll sext my boyfriend all day and by the time I get home, we’re just ready for each other. When you’re flirting all day, you feel hornier at night. It’s also a great way to ask for what you want sexually without having the awkward conversation in person,” she says.
Smoke Some Weed
Guess what? Cannabis is now an aphrodisiac. Many sativa strains are blended specifically to increase the libido. “I smoked for the first time in about 20 years and it opened doors for me sexually. I had an absolute sexual awakening with weed. It helped me let go of insecurities and made me feel freer. I walk around naked now… and I’m crazier in bed. And, that feeling has stayed with me even when I’m not smoking weed,” says Jennifer, 49.
If reading is to the mind what exercise is the to the body, then reading erotica is to the female libido what Viagra is for men with erectile dysfunction! “I didn’t realize how not in touch with my sexuality I was until I started reading erotica late one night. It woke me up, and taught me a lot. I learned to use my voice in bed, which was a liberating lesson for me and made it hot for my lover,” says Kate, 49.
I love sex bloggers, and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to call them superheroes since they bring vital, accurate information about sexuality to the Internet, a much needed antidote to the masses of misinformation out there. That’s why I decided to sponsor the Kinkly contest this year through my Loveology University®, where I certify people in love and sex.
The winners of Kinkly’s Sex Blogging Superheroes Contest 2017 were just announced today! And I’m so proud to share them with you. Part of the LU prizes include scholarships to my Love Coach, Master Sexpert and Relationship Expert programs, and a presence right here on Sexpert.com! Meanwhile, here are the sparkling personalities you need to be following in 2017 and beyond! The winners are….
Overall Winner – Sunny Megatron
Sunny already sounds like a superhero with her mega-watt name, and she lives up to it with her treasure trove of sex education in many different categories, putting on sell-out workshops around the world. Here on Sexpert.com, she’s written about kinky massage, BDSM for beginners, how to stage a BDSM scene and much more. She hosts the American Sex Podcast with Ken Melvoin-Berg and the Showtime television series Sex with Sunny Megatron. Her sunny personality (pun intended) shines through everything she does with a contagious enthusiasm for human sexuality. She makes people feel good about their desires and offers them a safe space to explore – never judging, always encouraging and educating. I think it’s a no-brainer to pick Sunny as Kinkly’s Overall Winner!
The Reader’s Choice Award
This year’s reader’s choice award goes to Ruby Ryder, a new face for me – and I love what I see. She’s a sex podcaster, sex educator, speaker, and author of a lot of juicy pegging erotica, which she publishes on her steamy blog at PeggingParadise.com. She also has a separate website for pegging education which tells you all about how and why to do it, addressing any fears or anatomical questions. I’m looking forward to meeting Ruby!
Top New Sex Blog of 2017
Oh’Gush is the Top New Sex Blog winner, and the founder Rose is all about female ejaculation! I have a whole course at LU about the G-spot, so I certainly believe this is a topic worthy of its own beautifully written blog! Rose’s ongoing personal squirting experience is impressive, and she encourages women to feel empowered by their ability. I look forward to the evolution of this blog – whether she’s investigating the latest G-spot research, or giving squirting tips, I think we’re all going to learn something!
Top Sex Toy Review Blog of 2017
I am not surprised that Oh Joy Sex Toy is the Top Sex Toy Review Blog of 2017 because it’s just so much fun! Whenever I see their new posts, I always click because their comic book graphic style is so cool and original. It makes you want to read. Then when you dive in, you realize that Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan also really know what they’re talking about. Not only do they offer cutting edge toy reviews, they’ve also got the sex education content to back it up. They update every Tuesday, and I highly recommend you check them out!
Top Erotica Blog of 2017
Well written erotica is so good at getting the juices flowing that I often suggest it to my clients to open up their sexuality if they’re feeling uninspired. Now I know I can send them to Ella Scandal, this year’s Top Erotica Blogger of 2017. The erotica section of her website has a wide variety of genres including Fetish, Orgy, Threesome, Dear Diary – and my personal favorite – Speed Reads! That’s where she gets right down to the ‘good part’ right away for those people who need a quickie with themselves. Based in the UK, she writes almost all the fiction herself (impressive!) and also reviews toys. Congratulations Ella!
Top Sex Blog For/By Men
Josh Robbins at ImStillJosh.com has been named the Top Sex Blog For & By Men, and with good reason. He’s shining a light on living with HIV and spreading the word of sex education and activism around the world, doing Ted talks and contributing to many high profile publications around the world. He says he likes posts that are ‘a little spicy’ and cites MTVnews and Joel Osteen as his style mashup, and indeed when you go to his site, you definitely get an edu-taining experience with all the latest sex and activism news. Congrats Josh Robbins, an inspiring sex blogger on a mission to banish the stigma of living with HIV, among many other worthy and interesting topics.