Ever wonder if your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is cheating on you? I had a boyfriend once who told me on the third date that he was “madly in love” with me, but by the third month I found out he was already cheating on me. (I have since learned that it’s a red flag when someone tells he’s in love with you by the third date.) It was a great way, however, to get me to sleep with him.
An uncle of mine, a former James Bond-like CIA spy in the 1960’s and 70’s, would always joke every time I got serious with anyone, that I should “put a private investigator on him.” I always laughed, thinking he was being ridiculous, until I fell madly in love with someone who asked me to marry him — and then cheated on me after I said yes. But to all the people out there who ever wonder if their love is cheating, a veteran private investigator has written a book to help you figure it out…
The book, Seeing Life Through Private Eyes, Secrets From America’s Top Investigators To Living Safer, Smarter, and Saner, is written by Tom Martin, who owns a private investigation firm and was a former DEA agent. This guy employs 22 private investigators who were former FBI and secret service agents, so he’s your guy when it comes to finding out if your guy (or girl) is cheating on you.
He has put together the definitive list of the suspicious things people do when they are cheating. Cheating is an equal opportunity thing, and Martin says his clients are equally male and female. So next time you think your love is cheating, check out the things all cheaters do so you can dump the cheater.
- Changing habits. (If he/she suddenly comes home late a night and acts “secretive and jumpy,” its a bad sign, says Martin. If he says he’s “working late, offer to bring him dinner.” If he declines, look into the situation.”)
- Leaving the house early and returning late. (He/she may be having a “b.j for breakfast” with someone else.)
- Business trips (The best time for people to cheat. The biggest tip off is business trips that start on a Friday and go for the whole weekend.)
- Holiday or family event absences. (the ‘ol “I have to help a friend move”.)
- Excessive overtime. (“When they get home, it’s right to bed,” says Martin.)
- Unexplained spending. (It costs a lot to bang a secret lover.)
- Secret bank accounts (“Oh honey, don’t worry, I’ll write out the checks from now on.”)
- Hidden credit card bills and letters. (“He/she doesn’t tell you but you stumble across a post office box key”, says Martin.)
- Extra grooming. (“The telltale sign, says Martin, “is the man who used to lube his car is now sporting manicured nails.”)
- Scent of someone else (“Are you wearing a new scent?”)
- The ten top signs of a cheater include receipts for jewelry you never got, unexplained items in the car like condoms, joining a new gym all of the sudden, hang-up calls or random late night texts on his phone, less sex, defensiveness, or looking nervous when you surprise them and drop off lunch at their work.
- If you see a bunch of these signs happening, you won’t need James Bond to tell you that your partner is cheating, but now if you want to confirm it, you know who to call.