Domina Doll is a sex writer, sexpert, and sex toy diva at PopMyCherryReview.com as well as an aspiring Passion & Pleasure Coach. She has dabbled as a fetish photographer, sex toy peddler, and jill of all trades, but her passion is teaching others about positive sexuality, intimacy and how to have passion-filled relationships. Her work has been published in several sex related magazines including Women's Health, Lover Magazine, Whiplash!, SMUT, Good Vibes, Carnal Nation, SexLifeCanada and Blog Her (Sex). She is also the go to sexpert gal at AllExperts.com, where she answers questions about sex toys and sexuality in general. Domina has also ghostwritten sexpert e-books as well as her own sex guides including: "Jillin' Off: A Girl's Guide to Solo Sex". Her favorite quote: "Sex is emotion in motion." by Mae West. Happy Orgasms xxx Domina
Trigasm. A word or
activity that most people today have probably heard about, or even tried at
some point in their sexual explorations.
However, more than a
decade ago, very few people, if anyone knew what a “trigasm” was, let alone
ever had one in the bedroom.
Sure, there were a few
people experimenting with alternative sexuality techniques like porn stars and
love gurus during the 80s and 90s who had experienced a “trigasm”, but they
didn’t have a term for it.
That’s because Dr. Ava Cadell, (America’s #1 Sexpert, Love Coach and Relationship Expert), hadn’t coined the term “trigasm” until 2003.[i]
So, What Exactly Is A Trigasm?
A trigasm is a particular
sexual technique which involves stimulation of her three major erogenous zones
all simultaneously: the clitoris, g-spot and anus, to produce what Dr. Ava
refers to as “the ultimate orgasm”!
“The secret here is to stimulate her three major erogenous zones all at
the same time: inside, outside and tailpipe. Start off by heating up her magic
button with light circular strokes with lubed-up fingers. When she’s all warmed
up but not quite ready to go the way of the O, slip a finger inside her so you
can tap lightly against her G-spot. While tapping return your attention to her
love bud with your tongue this time. Now use your other hand to gently
stimulate her starfish. Before you know it – Bam! Bam! Bam!”—Dr. Ava Cadell
Cadell didn’t only brand the
label “trigasm”, she also identified the 3 main types of “orgasms that are
achieved through single, dual or triple touch: the unigasm, the bi-gasm and the
trigasm.”—Orgasm in America Study (2011)
Before 2003, names for
these three major types of orgasm did not exist in our vocabulary. Thus, Cadell
identified the 3 major types of female orgasms and also pioneered a new type of
orgasm (the trigasm) that modern day women could explore as a whole new world
of orgasmic pleasure.
Introducing The TriGasm
Then, in November of 2003,
Cadell invented the TriGasm Vibrator for Doc Johnson Enterprises who
manufactured it and made it available in stores by that December.
love and relationship guru Dr. Ava Cadell brings women’s pleasure to a whole
new level with her latest creation for the ultimate orgasm, the TriGasm… This
is the most significant sexual discovery for women since the 1950s, when the
G-spot was discovered.” —Business Wire
The TriGasm sex toy had
three separate attachments for each erogenous zone and multiple speeds of
vibration and pulsating action, which allowed users to be in control of the
pressure, depth and intensity.
“The result is the most intense, satisfying, earth-shattering,
full-body orgasm a woman has ever experienced. TriGasm is the ultimate form of
female empowerment,” explained Dr. Ava. “It’s about women taking responsibility
for their own orgasms — it truly the ultimate self-pleasuring device for the
It’s A Hit! TriGasm
The new TriGasm vibrator
was an instant hit, and became “the most popular sex toy in the US…”[ii],
selling on Amazon.com as well as many other sex toy retailers, and featured on
the Discovery Channel’s “Sex Files”, as well as in several magazines including Bust
Magazine and Maxim, and mentioned in “The Book of Kink” by Eva Christina.
It also got rave reviews:
“If you’re a woman who appreciates versatility, this toy is for you… From
the fork-tongued vibrator that envelopes your clitoris to the curved and narrow-tipped
shaft to the smooth anal plug, every function of this supple vinyl-based toy is
designed for maximum pleasure. So don’t delay your sexual fulfillment and get
the Trigasm to experience orgasms you didn’t know were possible.”—review by Victoria.
“I highly recommend Dr. Ava’s Trigasm for anyone who is looking for a
good beginning double or triple stimulator. Being able to control the speeds of
the vibrations as well as the patterns makes this toy a great addition to any
toy collection.”— review by
“Dr. Ava’s Trigasm is a triple stimulation vibrator by Doc Johnson, is
a great triple stimulation vibrator. The main vibrator is curved to stimulate
the g-spot and the clitoris vibrator is split to form a forked-tongue. This set
also comes with an anal vibrator that is very thin, making it great for
beginners.”—review by Dannie.
“I was amazed at how pleasantly strong, yet quiet the vibrations were. I
would definitely give Dr. Ava’s Trigasm four stars. Overall Dr. Ava’s Trigasm
is a great toy to buy if you are looking for something that could stimulate all
your needs.”—review by ScarletteL.
So, How Do You Give Her A
Here are some tips for you
and your partner as you go off on your TriGasm exploration.
Step 1: The woman should
lie back while her partner lavishes her clitoris with oral pleasure until she
has reached a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 1 to 10.
Step 2: Change course and
stimulate her vulva (outside of the vagina) in small circles with your tongue
for 2 minutes.
Step 3: Return to the
clitoris and orally increase her level of pleasure to a 9, almost to the point
of no return.
Step 4: At this peak,
insert your forefinger palm up into her vagina and find her G-spot, then tap,
tap, tap it gently towards her navel.
Step 5: Simultaneously
with step four, stimulate her anus gently with a feather, a pinky or a vibrator
to bring her to a momentous, energy-draining TriGasm!
What About Him? Can Guys
Enjoy A Trigasm Too?
Why, yes, they can!
The TriGasm for Men is
also the result of stimulating 3 points of pleasure, the penis, the testicles
and the anus simultaneously.
Step 1: The man should lie
back while his partner lavishes the head of his penis with some good oral
suction until he reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 1 to 10.
Step 2: Then use your
mouth and tongue to stimulate his testicles for 2 minutes while you masturbate
his penis with your hand.
Step 3: Return to the
penis orally and increase his level of pleasure to a 9, almost to the point of
Step 4: At this peak, fondle
his testicles as you continue to orally delight his penis and insert your
forefinger palm up into his anus to find his prostate gland, then tap, tap, tap
Step 5: If all goes well,
he’ll have an unforgettable, enormous TriGasm!
What’s Left in the World
You may be wondering, after the Trigasm, will orgasms ever be the same again? Probably not.
But research into female orgasms and the development of new-age sex toys continues to uncover new discoveries that mystify the imagination.
Where Can I Get a TriGasm
Unfortunately, the “original”
TriGasm by Dr. Ava Cadell is not longer in production.
But, here are a few other
amazing triple stimulation sex toys that we recommend!
Happy National Orgasm Day! In celebration of National Orgasm Day (July 31st), we’d like to WOW you with some of these amazing facts about female orgasms!
Did you know that the clitoris is the ONLY organ designed exclusively for sexual pleasure? That 70% of women cannot orgasm via vaginal penetration alone? Or, that a few women have a condition that causes them to spontaneously orgasm without stimulation? Read on to learn 12 astonishing facts about the “Amazing World of Female Orgasms”.
1. Orgasm Definitions: The Oxford English Dictionary describes an orgasm as “the climax of sexual excitement, characterized by intensely pleasurable feelings centered in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation.” The Merriam-Webster Dictionary states that it’s ” intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially : an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female.” Sex researcher Dr. Alfred Kinsey likened orgasm “to the crescendo, climax, and sudden stillness achieved by an orchestra of human emotions … an explosion of tensions, and to sneezing”.
2. Anorgasmia is a type of sexual dysfunction in which a person cannot achieve orgasm, even with adequate stimulation. The condition is sometimes classified as a psychiatric disorder, but also may be caused by medical conditions as well. An estimated 10-15% of women can’t orgasm at all. Marilyn Monroe, despite being a huge sexual icon, was anorgasmic. The most extreme “cure” for Anorgasmia is the orgasmatron which is an implant inserted into the spinal cord, that is controlled by a remote control and stimulates the user when switched on.
3. The opposite of Anorgasmia is a disorder called Permanent
Sexual Arousal Syndrome which increases blood flow to the sex organs and
causes women (and some men) to have “spontaneous, persistent, and
uncontrollable genital arousal”, including orgasms even when they are
not sexually aroused. At least one woman with this disorder, Sarah
Carmen from Britain, has reported having up to 200 spontaneous orgasms a
day, without the use of genital stimulation.
4. According to a 1999 survey, approximately 43% of women in the US have some sort of problem with their sex lives, or what is commonaly referred to Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD). It is so common a problem that the very idea that it is a disorder has come under attack. The film: “Orgasm Inc.,” (2009) criticizes Big Pharmaceutical companies who are trying to get “female sexual dysfunction” turned into a medical condition so they can develop a drug for it and make lots of money.
5. Rule of Thumb- Princess Marie Bonaparte, a French psychoanalyst, and great-grand niece of Napoleon Bonaparte, suffered from “frigidity” or the inability to have vaginal orgasms during missionary position. Frustrated, she conducted research on 243 women and discovered what is referred to as the “Rule of Thumb”, that is, the optimal C-V (clitoral-vagina) distance, which is approximately an inch (from the tip of your thumb to your first knuckle). She concluded that the distance between these clit and vagina was vital for the ability to reach orgasm (via intercourse). Bonaparte sadly underwent two surgeries to try and “fix” her sexual anatomy, by having her clitoris cut and “moved” closer to her vagina, both of which had “disappointing results”. If only she knew that her frigidity was caused by Freud’s theory that clitoral orgasms were inferior to vaginal orgasms. Researchers know today that 70% of women cannot orgasm via vaginal stimulation alone.
6. The clitoris is the ONLY organ designed exclusively for sexual pleasure and has more than 8,000 nerve endings. Most women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation and need about 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm via sexual intercourse (if they can orgasm that way at all), but on average only 4 minutes to reach orgasm via masturbation.
7. In a survey of 2000 women, the most arousing place to be touched were in this order: clitoris, vagina, breasts, head and neck, back and shoulders, and least of all the feet. 33% of women under 25 can’t find their G-spot, and of those 100% rarely have orgasm. 67% of women fake orgasm.
8. The Brain on Sex. The ability to orgasm is controlled by a complex set of brain functions and has little to do with what happens in your genitals. One area of the brain releases dopamine, the feel good neurochemical that activates your reward center, which makes love feel addictive and can make you fall in love. The pituitary gland releases beta-endorphins which decrease pain, the hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin (aka the “cuddle” or “love hormone”) increases feelings of trust, and the hormone vasopressin, enhances pair bonding.
9. Some women can achieve orgasm by just thinking about it. True! It is called a mind-gasm, and sex educator Kim Airs can think herself to orgasm. She participated in an orgasm study at Rutgers by Dr. Barry Komisaruk, where she was strapped into a MRI and the team monitored her pulse, heart rate, and brain waves to determine how she performed this amazing feat. What they learned was “sexual function travels from the genitals to the brain via the pudendal nerve which does NOT reside in the spinal column but parallel to it”. From this and other research, Dr. Barry Komisaruk and Dr. Beverly Whipple also discovered that people with spinal cord injuries can reach orgasm. In 2004, they conducted a study on women with severed spinal cords and found that these women could feel stimulation of their cervix and even reach orgasm, because the vagus nerve bypasses the spinal cord and is still able to bring the signal to the brain.
10. Four Types of Female Ejaculation. According to Tantric practitioner Devi Ward and her colleague Marthe Schneider there are four types of female ejaculation or “nectar of the Goddess or Ambrosia”, including 2 types of urethral emission and 2 types of vaginal emission. These include:
Urinary bladder discharge which is squirting which is clear and no smell, could include trace amounts of urine;
Prostatic fluid, a thicker, milky like watery semen, comes from the G-spot/female prostate in small amounts;
Gushing which comes from the vagina during penetration in a stream of fluid;
11. How Many Types of Female Orgasms? Sigmund Freud first suggested (1905) that there were two types of female orgasms: clitoral and vaginal (or G-spot). He believed that the clitoris was best used for masturbation, while the vagina or G-spot be stimulated best by sexual intercourse. Contrary to Freud, Alfred Kinsey believed that there was only one type of orgasm women could experience which was clitoral (1953). Pioneer sexologist and former porn star Annie Sprinkle said that there are seven types of female orgasms and believes that orgasms are like grains of sand, in that no two are alike. The idea that there was more than two types of female orgasms, was quite revolutionary at the time. Annie’s Seven Types of Orgasms include: Clitoral Orgasms, Inter-vaginal Orgasms, Combination Orgasms, Dreamgasms, Microgasms, Breath and Energy Orgasms, and Megagasms. In her DVD, “Annie Sprinkle’s Amazing World of Orgasm” (2004), she and other sexual experts maintain that there are, in fact, multiple (if not hundreds) of ways for women to experience orgasm. In her “Sluts & Goddesses” DVD, Annie experiences a five minute long Megagasm which she describes as “an intense full body experience, a deeply emotional experience, and for some a deeply spiritual experience… [which] generally lasts an extended length of time, from thirty seconds to in some cases up to an hour or two.” Amazing!
12. Dr. Ava Cadell, (Sexpert to the Stars and Founder of Loveology University), coined the term “trigasm”, which she refers to as “the ultimate orgasm”! It involves stimulation of the clitoris, g-spot and anus simultaneously. “The secret here is to stimulate her three major erogenous zones all at the same time: inside, outside and tailpipe. Start off by heating up her magic button with light circular strokes with lubed-up fingers. When she’s all warmed up but not quite ready to go the way of the O, slip a finger inside her so you can tap lightly against her G-spot. While tapping return your attention to her love bud with your tongue this time. Now use your other hand to gently stimulate her starfish. Before you know it – Bam! Bam! Bam!”
In 2003, Dr. Ava teamed up with Doc Johnson novelties to design and produce the Trigasm sex toy which had three separate attachments for each erogenous zone and multiple speeds of vibration and pulsating action, which allowed users to be in control of the pressure, depth and intensity. “The result is the most intense, satisfying, earth-shattering, full-body orgasm a woman has ever experienced. TriGasm is the ultimate form of female empowerment,” explained Dr. Ava. “It’s about women taking responsibility for their own orgasms — it truly the ultimate self-pleasuring device for the lady!”
While there are lots of interesting facts on female orgasms, there is still much research that needs to be done to validate women’s sexual experiences, and how all our amazing parts work!
Welcome to Sexpert’s Guide to Tickling
Fetish and Sexual Tickling!
The official terminology for tickling fetishism is known as
knismolagnia (or knismophilia or titillagnia[i])
which is sexual arousal derived from tickling someone or the sensation of being
Knismolagnia, comes from Knismesis, which is a light form of tickling like when
a bug tickles the hairs on your arms, whereas gargalesis[iii]
is the term for heavy tickling, which is intended to produce laughter.
In this Tickling Fetish Guide you will learn
What is a Tickling
The History of Sexual
When Does Tickling
Become a Fetish?
How to Know If
You Are a Knismophiliac or a Ticklephile?
Why Do People Get
Turned On By Tickling?
Reasons Why We
May Get Aroused By Tickling.
Ways to Explore
Tickling Torture and Erotic Tickling.
Erotic Places on
the Body to Tickle.
How To Sexually Tickle
What to Do If
Your Lover Is Into Tickling and Your Aren’t.
Tickle—is to give pleasure or gratify.
Tickling is a harmless
practice that most of us have enjoyed innocently as infants and children, with
games like “This little piggy”, and “Tickle Monster”.
As teens and young adults,
tickling fights are often part of our introduction to playful touch as a sexual
gateway to flirting, feeling up your girlfriend or fondling a newfound crush.
Tickling can be a fun way
to become intimidate with someone, to touch, to tease and to flirt.
Tickling can be very childlike,
amusing, exciting, and even erotic to some. To others it can be your worst
nightmare, or even used as a punishment.
So, When Does Tickling Become a Fetish?
Tickling can be either a
sexual interest or sexual fetish (paraphilia) in adulthood depending on your
What’s the difference?
Really, not much.
A sexual interest can turn
into a paraphilia depending on how intense the fixation on it becomes and if the
activity causes problems in your life. Most often, a fetish is seen as a harmless
sexual interest if it doesn’t hurt anyone.
Violet Blue, co-author of
“The Fetish Sex Guide”, says that sexual fetishes are the “standard-issue”.
“When you look at cultural stereotypes of what constitutes “normal”
sex, pretty much anything you do outside of married heterosexual missionary
intercourse can be considered “deviant” [and] everyone with genitalia and a
has a sexual fetish.
Rather than “deviant”,
Blue believes fetishes are “magical”:
“When someone has a sexual fetish, it means that for them an object,
manner of dress or specific scenario takes on a magical quality, has deeper
meaning, and becomes part of their favorite sexual experiences — or are
sometimes absolutely required for satisfying sexual release.”[v]
problematic when the fetishist feels they can’t honestly share their interest
with their partner and/or fulfill their fantasy. That leads to hiding their
sexual impulses in the closet or repressing them, feelings of guilt, feeling like
a freak, or by seeking unhealthy ways to live out their fantasies. When a
person does not have a healthy outlet for their fetish, this can also lead to
dangerous, extreme or destructive behaviour or activities.
That’s when a fetish
becomes a paraphilia.
What is a Paraphilia?
In psychiatry, a
paraphilia is defined as “a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires,
typically involving extreme or dangerous activities.”
The American Psychiatric
Association states that “atypical sexual interests” are not considered a
paraphilia or mental disorder. In order to be diagnosed with having a
paraphilic disorder a person must “feel personal distress” caused by their
interest, or is causing distress to “unwilling persons” without consent.
Wikipedia defines a paraphilia
as the “intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies,
behaviors, or individuals,”[vi]
and is often obsessive and damaging behaviour, whereas an “uncommon” sexual
interest could be any sexual behavior, fantasy, or sexual activity that is not
harmful, even if it is a bit unusual.
So, most people have a
sexual interest which could be defined as a “fetish”. It is quite common and
normal. It is only unhealthy when it causes harm to yourself or someone else.
What is Tickling Fetishism?
The official terminology
for tickling fetishism is known as knismolagnia (or knismophilia or titillagnia[vii])
which is sexual arousal derived from tickling someone or the sensation of being
Knismolagnia, comes from Knismesis, which is a light form of tickling like when
a bug tickles the hairs on your arms, whereas gargalesis[ix]
is the term for heavy tickling, which is intended to produce laughter.
Definitions from “Tickling”,
by C R Harris, University of California:
Gargalesis: Laughter-inducing tickle elicited by a somewhat strong
pressure repeatedly applied to certain ticklish areas on the body. This form of
tickle cannot be self-induced.
Knismesis: Type of tickle that is elicited by a light movement across
the skin and is not usually associated with laughter. The sensation can be
readily produced in the self.[x]
refers to sexual urges, arousal or fantasies involving tickling.[xi]
As far as fetishes go,
knismolagnia is said to be one of the “most obscure”[xii],
and least researched of the paraphilias, and is basically harmless. However, people
who have it often prefer tickling over other sexual activities including
intercourse. In fact, no sexual activity needs to be involved what-so-ever, and
some people can orgasm from tickling pleasure alone. Others don’t even need to
be touched and can get turned on just by watching someone get tickled or by tickling
How to Know If You Are a Knismophiliac?
“Tickling provokes laughter through the anticipation of pleasure.”—Charles
If you have intense,
recurring sexual urges associated with tickling, being tickled, or ticking
another person, and it is the only way you can get turned on or reach orgasm,
you may be a Knismophiliac or Ticklephile.
If you are a Ticklephile,
you may fall into one of these categories[xiv]:
Tickle Top—The person who tickles, or tickle tortures another with the
object of forcing the victim, usually restrained and helpless, to laugh
hysterically, cry, scream, urinate, ejaculate and even pass out from prolonged
intense tickling. Usually done with consent for erotic sexual gratification,
but sometimes used as effective torture of prisoners.
Tickle Bottom—The victim, usually restrained, of tickle torture, either
with consent by a tickle top for exercise or sexual gratification or by others
as torture to obtain information or for sadistic pleasure. If very ticklish the
“bottom” suffers acute agony from the body’s automatic reflexes, such as
hysterical laughter, screaming, crying, muscle spasms, urination, ejaculation,
and even convulsions and loss of consciousness. Common in BDSM, (bondage
sado-masochism) practice, the tickle bottom should be in good physical health
because severe tickling can cause strokes and seizures.
Among ticklephiles, the
terms “Ler” and “Lee” are also used to label a tickler or ticklee.
The good news is, tickling
is not dangerous. Unless it involves rough, excessive tickling that can become
painful; is non-consensual (some people can’t stand being tickled); or it
becomes problematic: so obsessive to the point that it interferes with your
life, work, happiness, health or relationships.
The bad news? You can’t self-tickle
yourself to laughter. Unless you are schizophrenic, because “their brains can’t
differentiate between self-generated and externally generated touches”[xv].
The solution? Find
yourself a tickler partner who enjoys tickling as much as you do!
Why Do People Get Turned On By Tickling?
“Tickling is symbolic for motion, for removing things from their
complacency. When somebody is tickled, they may try to fight their reactions,
but it is unlikely they will be able to remain still. They will start to
fidget. They will suddenly find themselves cracking a smile, no matter how hard
they try to remain in their stoic stance. They will be removed from whatever state
of control they are in.”[xvi]—”Igniting
Your Inner Tickle”, by TickleWriter
First of all, not everyone
is ticklish. To some, being tickled is an extreme turn-off, and can even feel
painful. To others, they may feel nothing at all. And, then some people are
ticklish only at certain times or on certain parts of their body. In fact, in
one study only 32% of the respondents enjoyed being tickled, 32% were neutral
and 36% didn’t like it at all.[xvii]
Why people are ticklish at
all and laugh when tickled has been the focus of serious debate from philosophers,
scientists, researchers and thinkers including Charles Darwin, Plato, Aristotle,
Francis Bacon and Galilieo Galilei, to name a few. And, we are still trying to figure
out why people laugh when tickled, which you can read about that in this
article: “Why we laugh when we are tickled”.[xviii]
Tickle scientists have
even gone so far as to research what area of the brain lights up when you
tickle a person’s feet while strapped to an MRI brain scanner.[xix]
It sounds like a cruel bit of torture to me. Imagine being strapped into an MRI
and trying to remain still while someone tickles your feet!
And, according to G.
Stanley Hall and Arthur Alliń in the Journal Article, “The Psychology of
Tickling, Laughing, and the Comic”[xx],
just pretending you are about to tickle someone can induce laughter.
Strangely enough, feeling
ticklish is not unique to humans either. Apes, Bonobos, monkeys and mice seem
to enjoy being tickled, and apes even play tickle games.[xxi]
A Brief History of Tickling
Did you know that
historically there were professional feet ticklers? Yes, I guess you could
actually have a job as a Professional Tickler.
In his book “The Sex Life
of the Foot and Shoe”, William A. Rossi wrote that “foot tickling for intimate
purposes was commonly used”[xxii]
in the Russian Empire for centuries, to tickle the elite nobel women and Czarinas.
This form of tickling was used for intimate purposes as a form of erotic
pleasure or as foreplay. It was often accompanied by bawdy ballads or dirty
stories. The practice was said to be performed as foreplay to get these noble
women in the mood and ready for sex. Catherine the Great, Empress of Russia was
known to employ pro ticklers, among her other sexual compulsions.
Professional Ticklers were
either women or eunuchs and they would hone their amazing tickling techniques through
fastidious practice. Ticklers worked full time as they were very much in demand
and celebrated for their skills, as well as being well paid.
But, it wasn’t only the
Russians who enjoyed erotic tickling. Queen Hatshepsut from Ancient Egypt is said
to have used anise seed oil on her feet “to prepare them for a ritual of
pre-coital tickling. A eunuch would then tickle her feet with peacock feather
and bring her to the peak of arousal.”[xxiii]
Reasons Why We May Get Aroused By
“The tactile sensitivity of the foot may
actually be greater than any other part of the body, including the fingertips.”—Alfred
“Anatomically the sensory supply to the foot and genitalia sit adjacent
in the brain [sensory input] might cause cross association in some people.
Hence tickling the feet would be the equivalent to ‘tickling their fancy.’ Most
certainly the nerve supply to the foot passes through the pelvic region and
this again may have some peripheral association. Traumatic episodes, such as a
ticking assault, could forge behavioural associations where tickling and micturition
or sexual arousal including ejaculation, may be linked.”[xxiv]
No-one really knows why
people like to be tickled or even why it may be sexually arousing. However,
here are a few theories.
Most people at one point
of their lives have taken part in sexual tickling activities, usually as teens
Tickling can be a type of
sexual (or at least intimate) foreplay. It can help you learn about your
partner’s body and what turns them on (or at least what makes them ticklish!),
leading to deeper intimacy.
Tickling makes you feel
young again because it is silly, lighthearted and playful, and has a childlike
innocence to it.
Tickling causes laughter. People
love to laugh and laughter is contagious. Laughter creates bonding between people, so
tickling can be an intimate way to touch and laugh and to become more intimate
with someone you love. Laughter releases endorphins, which triggers feelings of
pleasure, relieves pain and promotes bonding.[xxv]
It’s safe sex. Yep. You
can play tickle your lover fully clothed and still have lots of erotic pleasure
without having sex.
Being sexually intimate. Tickling
is an intimate way to play with a new potential partner, if you feel you are
not ready to have sex yet. Not quite sex, but you never know, you may even
Its physical. Tickling is a
form of physical intimacy, which could lead to sex. Ah ha!
Tickling is also a source
of pleasure and functions as a sexual outlet, foreplay or erotic game between
Tickling can be seen as a
form of release because it allows the ticklee (aka Lee) to lose control as they
are helpless. It helps to relieve stress, which leads to relaxation and puts
you in a better mood for sex.
Tickling can be used in
BDSM as way to torture or punish the submissive, or as a form of sensation play.
Tickling is also an
activity between two people or more that can be turned into a game. Wikipedia
notes that some people play tickling games as a type of social interaction: for
fun, for erotic pleasure or as a way to test their endurance.[xxvi]
Tickling games may also
include bondage, to prevent the ticklee from protecting their ticklish spots,
and also a blindfold to increase suspense, surprise and anticipation.
“The objective of such games is to generate uncontrollable writhing,
struggling, laughing and vocalizations etc., from the person being tickled,
while the person tries to control such reactions, without the ability to
physically defend the ticklish spots.”[xxvii]
Tickle games are also a common
type of porn (with over 19000 results on one popular tube site), which often
involves a victim being tied up and erotically tickled by one or more ticklers.
“The ambivalence of tickling, a delight that can quickly become
Tickle torture can be a
form of playful tickling that is extreme. It is performed by consenting adults,
either as a fun game, or as a part of a BDSM scene where the dominant may
tickle the submissive to reinforce their dominance or as a form of punishment.
On the other hand, some
tickle torture is not fun at all. It can be used “to abuse, dominate, harass,
humiliate, or interrogate an individual” against the ticklee’s will, which can
result in “real physical and mental distress in a victim.”[xxix]
Tickle torture has been performed as a type of real torture throughout history.
Ways to Explore Tickling
As mentioned above,
ticking can be explored as a BDSM activity that includes restraints, bondage,
tickling with hands, or other toys such as feathers and erotic ticklers. It can
be a form of play, foreplay, humiliation, dominance and submission, torture or
punishment, depending on your desired intention.
Tickling in BDSM can also
be a form of sensation play, or a way to induce forced orgasm (if the ticklee
is sexually aroused by tickling). It often involves bondage, or being held
down, or is used with a safe word without restraint. Tickling may be used with
other forms of impact play or sensation play toys as well.
There are numerous ways
you can play tickle games with someone.[xxx]
Then there is erotic tickling. This can be just a playful type of flirting that
can be done any time during the day fully clothed. Or, it can be used as
foreplay to lead up to the main event.
Erotic tickling can be
used as a part of sensation play. You can tickle with your fingers, with your
tongue, with your lips, blowing on the skin, with your hair or with a tickle toy
like a feather.
Erotic ways to tickle include:
Blowing softly in
the outer ear and ear lobe, then quickly sticking your tongue in your lover’s ear.
finger tips softly around someone’s hairline or at the back of their neck to
give them goosebumps and erotic chills.
Blowing down the
back of neck and spine.
Softly tickling the
underside of the knees with light spider fingers.
the sides of the kneecaps.
or nibbling the toes.
Blowing on the
fleshy part of the belly with your lips to make a farting or buzzing sound.
If you have long
hair, draping your hair over your lover’s body and slowing dragging it over
them so just the ends are touching the skin.
Using a feather, or
feather duster, straw, hairbrush, Q-tip, artist paintbrush, electric toothbrush
(or vibrator) or other tickle instrument like a Wartenburg wheel on your
partner’s feet, or other ticklish spots. (Incidentally, Pteronphilia is sexual
arousal to being tickled by a feather. According to Wikipedia it is derived
from the Greek word “pteron” meaning feather or wing.)
Tickling the armpit
(also called a douhini) “is the tickle of the inside of an exposed armpit. The
Douhini-er must then yell Douhini to further surprise the victim. Usually
accompanied by a slight waver of the pointer finger. In other cases a Douhini
can also be a jab to the armpit but that technique is usually frowned upon.”[xxxi]
Erotic Places on the Body to Tickle
There are lots of places
on the body that can be ticklish. The most popular include the feet, the under
the arms, and the sides of the rib cage. But, don’t limit yourself to just
these areas. Be playful, experiment and try different places as well as
different types of touch from soft and barely touching, to full blown tickling.
Don’t forget to try out
the genitals (vulva, clitoris, mound of Venus, or penis and testicles in men),
breasts, nipples, inner thighs, back of neck, throat and pulse point, under
chin, knees, cheeks, palms of the hand, waist and bum. You never know where
your sweetheart’s sweet spot could be hiding!
How To Tickle Your Partner
You may not think that
there is a right or wrong way to tickle, but according to ticklephiles there
Consent: First, make sure you
have consent. Maybe you like being tickled, but your lover may actually hate
it. Don’t go there without their permission unless you want to seriously turn
them the F off. If you try to sneak up and tickle someone without their consent
it may feel like an attack, especially if you don’t know the person well.
Talk About It: Ask your partner
where they like to be tickled. Do they have any areas that are off limits for
them? Do they like light and sensual, or crazy intense tickle-gasms?
Safe Word: This could be
as simple as “stop!”, or if you are playing a scene you may want to use a safe
word like “RED”, so the tickling doesn’t become unbearable.
Mood: Make sure you are
both in a playful, lighthearted mood to start. Tickling when you are not in the
right mood can also be a turn off.
Touch: Start with a light,
barely-there touch and work your way up to more pressure. Start slow and work
up to a frenzy.
Repetition and Variation: Use
repetition when you find their “spot” and concentrate in that area. But, you
should also use variation for surprise to create more impact and give them some
relief once in a while as well.
Have Fun!: Be playful,
explore and have fun. Afterall, tickling is all about laughter and having fun. Remember
what it was like to be a child again, and laugh!
What to Do If Your Lover Is Into Tickling
and Your Aren’t
So, what should do you do
if your lover is a ticklephile and you aren’t? Or visa-versa?
Just like any other fetish
or sexual interest, your lover may not always be in to what you are. But there
are ways you can still make your sexual relationship work, despite your
Talk to them about it. Talk
openly and honestly about their desires (or yours). Take the time to listen without
judgment and treat their desire as important.
Try to make an attempt to
fulfill your lover’s fantasies if you can. Be open to the possibility of
exploring this with them. Even if it is not exactly your cup of tea, try to
make a compromise. Who knows, you really may love it too!
If tickling your lover or
being tickled really turns you off, then be honest and tell your lover in a
kind and tactful way.
Don’t judge or make them feel
lesser than, like a freak, or wierdo for enjoying tickling. EVERYONE has
certain sexual interests or so-called fetishes, so don’t judge.
Try to be understanding
and compassionate. Put yourself in their shoes. Or in their ticklish feet?
Ask questions if you don’t
understand and try to find out how they feel. How important is this desire to
If tickling for you is off
limits, figure out how your partner is going to get their needs met? Maybe this
will involve a 3rd party (a tickle buddy) who can tickle them in
your presence, or you may both decide they can see other people who are into
tickling (either sexually or non-sexually). Maybe watching tickle porn while
having sex would be enough?
Finally, be thankful that
they feel like they can trust you enough to open up about their most hidden, deepest
desires. That is a gift that you should be grateful for!
No matter what kind of
activity we may want to explore with our lover or a new partner, it is always
important to have healthy sexual boundaries.
In Dr. Ava Cadell’s Loveology University course on Fetishes, Boundaries and Taboos Dr. Ava discusses boundaries:
Know your sexual
boundaries and respect your lover’s boundaries.
the pros and cons of new sexual activities with your lover before partaking in
Discuss how the
new activity made you feel with your lover and if you want to do it again.
Don’t let anyone
talk you into doing something you don’t want to do.
Don’t try to
change someone’s mind about a sexual activity that is unappealing to them.
Tickling is Sexy!
Final thoughts. Tickling
can be a fun, erotic and even orgasmic activity if done right between two
Try it. You may just like
Happy Tickle Month 😍
Are you a ticklephile?
Got questions or comments!
Post your thoughts below!
June is Men’s Health Month, so we decided to give you some information on how you can improve your sexual health and sex life at the same time! So, here are some tips to help with some sexuality issues that men face like erectile dysfunction, stamina and prostate health, as well as ways to boost your overall sexual vitality.
Masturbation and Sex Are Good For Your Health
Masturbating Increases Stamina—You can use masturbation
as a way to increase your staying power and improve stamina and control. Try
the start and stop technique to train your body how to last longer in bed.
Numerous studies have been done on the benefits of having sex. Here are a few ways that sex can improve your health.[i]
Lowers Blood Pressure—Sex has been found to lower blood pressure.
Good for Your Heart—Having sex at least twice a week can lower your risk of heart disease and is good for your heart (and your love life!).
Improves Immune Function—One study found that people who have sex 1-2 times a week have more of a certain antibody (immunoglobulin A) that fights against germs and viruses.[ii]
Relieves Stress—Stress is related to many health issues, so any way you can reduce stress is a good thing. It just so happens that sexual intimacy (even just touching and hugging) releases oxytocin which makes you feel good and reduces stress.
Fights Depression—Orgasm releases other mood–enhancing chemicals including serotonin and dopamine, which can help lift your spirits
Helps You Sleep Better—Sex releases oxytocin and prolactin, both of which help you relax and feel sleepy.
Good Exercise—yes, sex counts as exercise too and burns 100 calories on average each time you do it.[iii]
Longevity—Another study found that sex (orgasm in particular) decreases the mortality rate in men by 50 percent.[iv]
Keeps Your Penis Healthy!—Having sex at least once a week will make you less likely to get Erectile Dysfunction says a Finnish study with men between the ages of 55-75 years, because it helps oxygenate the penis to help keep it hard and functioning.[v] Regular sex also helps strength the pelvic floor and helps prevent erectile dysfunction and incontinence.
Lowers the Risk of Prostate Cancer—Recent research studies suggest that frequent ejaculation (21 times a month or more) is linked to a 20% lower rate of prostate cancer. While experts are not certain why ejaculation may be good for your prostate, they think that it may flush toxins out of the urogenital tract.[vi]
Gives You Pleasure!—Finally, masturbation and sex both give you pleasure, which is a good thing.
So, if you are not having sex as often as you would like, we hope you have found lots of reasons why your should include it more in your everyday life!
June is a great month to celebrate because it marks the
beginning of the summer. But, the month of June is also LGBT Pride Month, which
was first held to commemorate the Stonewall riots in June 1969. As a result,
many pride events are now held during this month to celebrate Gay Pride and
bring awareness to the LGBTQ community.
So, you may be thinking what do sex toys have to do with
celebrating Pride? The two are actually closely linked. Because celebrating
Pride not only stands for promoting equal rights and gender equality, but also
for sexual diversity and sexual rights.
“Sexual rights embrace certain human rights that are
already recognized in national laws, international human rights documents, and
other consensus documents. They rest on the recognition that all individuals
have the right—free of coercion, violence, and discrimination of any kind—to
the highest attainable standard of sexual health; to pursue a satisfying, safe,
and pleasurable sexual life; to have control over and decide freely, and with
due regard for the rights of others, on matters related to their sexuality,
reproduction, sexual orientation, bodily integrity, choice of partner, and
gender identity; and to the services, education, and information, including comprehensive
sexuality education, necessary to do so.”—Sexual Rights Are Human Rights, International Women’s Health Coalition
I’d also like to add: The right to purchase and own a sex
toy (and as many sex toys as you want!). Did you know that the state of Alabama
still criminalizes the sale of sex toys and in Texas it is still illegal to own
or sell sex toys which are referred to as: “obscene devices”‘, being
defined as “a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or
marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”—Texas
Obscenity Statute, Wikipedia
So, as we begin to celebrate Gay Pride, let’s also
celebrate our right to sexual pleasure, sexual freedom and sex toys!
Are you with me?
And, here are some awesome “Pride Dildos” you can use to
promote “Pride” and Sexuality rights, or just because they are way cool and
I mean, who doesn’t like Rainbows and Unicorns?
Here are a few of my favorite rainbow dildos or “pride” dildos on the market.
If you really want to amp up your sensation and are not into subtle play, you may want to try out some BDSM breast play techniques. Again, you can experiment with a partner or solo to discover what you like. If playing with a partner, make sure to use a safe word like “RED”, so your partner knows if something is too intense and you want them to stop. Also, note that the more the breasts and nipples are warmed up with sensual touch first, the more they can withstand (and enjoy) harder, rougher types of play later on. A word of caution! Make sure to keep the lines of communication open, use common sense and play safe.
Scratching: Scratching is just what is sounds like, using your nails to scratch over the breasts and nipples. You can also purchase Vampire Nails, which are like long talons that fit over the tips of the fingers to intensify your play.
Vampire Gloves: Vampire gloves are leather gloves with tiny spikes (like staples) on the fingertips and palms. They are designed to lightly scratch the skin, and not meant to draw blood. So, be careful and don’t use them too roughly, unless that’s your thang!
Wartenberg Wheel: This devious looking device is actually not as sinister as it looks. Used in medical play, Wartenberg wheels (also called Pinwheels) gently roll over the skin to send tiny prickles of desire coursing through the body. Perfect for nipples and areolas!
Biting: Using your teeth during nipple and breast play can be quite animistic and arousing. Again, be careful to not bite too hard. The goal is pleasure, not pain.
Breast Bondage: Breast bondage both looks and feels erotic, which makes it super sexy for partner play. When rope is tied expertly around the breasts to create a breast harness, it applies pressure to compress the breasts, making them more sensitive. It also uplifts the breasts and makes them perk up more, making them look fuller and bigger, which can be a big turn on.
Check out the video
below on how to tie a basic chest harness by Twisted Monk.
Breast Crushers: Again, these breast play toys sound scarier than they are. If you’ve ever had a mammogram, breast crushing toys (or breast racks) work in a similar manner, but they are not as painful. These toys are usually made of wood or metal, and have a top and bottom part that are screwed together to create a vice which squeezes the breasts flat, similar to breast bondage.
Smacking, Flogging and Crops: Percussion play is yet another way we can play with our beautiful breasts. Some women (and men) enjoy light smacking, tapping or spanking on the breasts, to firmer impact play. The palm of the hand can be used, or add a glove for a different sensation. There are various impact play toys as well like floggers (usually more sensual than painful, depending on how you use it) to crops (stingy), paddles (heavier impact), hard canes (ouch!) and whips (oh my!). Be careful when playing with percussion especially around the breasts which can bruise and get damaged easily.
Hot Candle Wax Play: Not to be confused with warm wax massage candles, hot candle wax play is hot and yes, can burn. So, again, be careful when doing wax play. First of all, only use candles that are safe for wax play. These are candles made of paraffin wax, like those white safely candles you would use in case of an emergency. Alternately, you can purchase colored BDSM candles made especially for hot wax play. Don’t use candles with additives like chemicals, essential oils or perfumes as these may burn too hot. And, never use Beeswax, as they get very hot and can cause serious burns.
Next, test the hot candle
wax on your own skin first before applying the wax to your partner. I like to
dribble it on the inside of my wrist, like you would when checking the
temperature of a baby bottle. Hold the candle about a foot away from the skin
and allow the hot wax to drip onto this skin, slowly building up, over the
nipples and breasts. As a precaution, put an old bed sheet under your partner
so you don’t get mess on the floor or furniture and keep a fire extinguisher
nearby. And, play safe.
Learn more about Wax
Okay, so you now have lots of naughty ideas to get you started with breast play, pleasure and orgasms.
If you want tp learn more about BDSM and Power Play, check out Loveology’s Course on BDSM Power Play!
Did You Know That You Can Orgasm From Nipple Stimulation Alone?
Yes, it’s true!
These types of climaxes
are called nipple orgasms (or nipplegasms for short), and they can be achieved
by stimulating the breasts and (or) nipples by themselves, without any genital
stimulation at all.
How amazing is that?
So, if you are curious
about nipple orgasms and how to have one, read on, as we explore the mysterious
world of nipplegasms together.
Nipple & Breast Orgasms: Quick Facts (The Science)
It wasn’t that long ago
that sexologists believed that women could only experience two types of
orgasms: clitoral and vaginal.
Then women started
finding several of these hot erogenous zones all over their body and the
understanding of female orgasms evolved.
Yah for orgasms!
So, while it may seem
surprising that nipple orgasms are even possible, there is now science that shows
just how orgasmic nipples can be.
Seriously… read on!
Just the Facts, Ma’am!
Breast specialist and surgeon Dr Kristi Funk says that one third of women can climax solely by having their nipples caressed. Fantastic! Funk also suggests nipple play to help women who can’t achieve climax become more orgasmic.
When the breasts are aroused, they can swell up to 25% more than their usual size, making them even more sensitive to touch and pleasure. Both the nipples and areolas swell as well, and the nipples become erect. So, if you want bigger, perkier boobs, give them more attention!
The majority of women find nipple stimulation very arousing. In one study, researchers found that 81.5% of women (and 51.7% of men) experienced enhanced sexual arousal when their nipples were erotically played with. Lovehoney also did a survey in 2017 that showed 63% of couples love nipple play. Rock on!
Another study found that nipple stimulation activates the same area of the brain that is turned on during genital stimulation (the genital sensory cortex) which means our nipples are erotically hardwired to the clitoris, which is why nipplegasms are possible. Thank you brain!
Another neurochemical, Oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone”, which is associated with passion, affection and bonding, also increases during nipple stimulation and then skyrockets at orgasm. Oxytocin is also the hormone that triggers uterine contractions and stimulation of the breasts can cause the same type of contractions in the uterus, thus producing an orgasm.
Okay. We now know from
science why nipplegasms are possible for most women and even some men. But,
what exactly is a nipple orgasm (and a breast orgasm for that matter) and what
is the difference between them?
What is a Nipple or Breast Orgasm and What is the Difference Between
Dr. Ava Cadell says that a nipplegasm is a form of “unigasm”. This type of orgasm happens when a primary erogenous zone is stimulated by itself with no other type of physical stimulation. A unigasm can be an intense, concentrated peak of pleasure, such as a clitoral orgasm.
The opposite of a
unigasm is an expanded orgasm (or bi or trigasm), where multiple pleasure zones
are stimulated simultaneously, producing a full body orgasm that isn’t isolated
to only one area. Nipple orgasms are produced from nipple stimulation alone,
without the help of genital stimulation.
A breast orgasm
combines breast and nipple stimulation together to achieve orgasm. While the
breasts do contain nerve endings, they are much more concentrated at the
nipples. So, nipple stimulation usually needs to occur for a breast orgasm to
Can Men Have a Nipple Orgasm?
Apparently, yes! Guys
can reach orgasm through nipple stimulation too. Men have approximately the
same number of nerve endings in their nipples as women, so it makes sense that
guy’s nipples can become just as orgasmic. Similar studies that showed the
nipple’s correlation to genital orgasm in the brain found that men show the
same patterned response in the genital brain regions as women do. So, that’s
good news for guys.
How men’s nipplegasms may differ from women’s has not been extensively researched, but men have described them as feeling “deeper”, “intense”, “strong and powerful”, “hyperventilating… with peaks of pleasure”, “a full body orgasm … with a vibrating pulsing muscle thing… echo[ing] through [their] body.” OMG!
That said, women tend to have more nerve endings overall on their body than men, and a man’s skin is about 25% thicker than a woman’s. This may be why women’s nipples are more sensitive than a man’s. And, women’s nipples were made for sucking, so it may just be that many men don’t consider their own nipples to be orgasmic.
How to Have a Nipple or Breast Orgasm: Step by Step Techniques
Now that you know that
nipplegasms are a thing, you may be wondering how can you experience one?
Here are some steps you
can try to begin exploration of nipple stimulation and pleasure. Keep in mind,
everyone is different when it comes to what they find arousing and how easily
they can be turned on by specific stimulation. Learning new ways to create sexual
pleasure and create new pleasure pathways in the brain can take time and
practice. Therefore, being open and curious during your exploration can aid in
the process so you can learn what feels erotic to you. And, remember its play,
so no pressure and have fun!
Step One: Set the Mood
As with any other type
of sexual play, whether solo or with a partner, it helps to set a sensual mood
and atmosphere designed to arouse the senses and turn you on. So, do whatever
you normally do to make yourself feel amorous: light candles, play music, have
a sensual bath or full body massage. The more relaxed you are, the easier it is
to tap into your orgasmic potential.
Step Two: Foreplay
While some people can
go directly to their nipples and achieve orgasm, most of us have to experience
a certain level of foreplay to get aroused. For most women, it usually takes
about 20 minutes to get aroused enough to achieve orgasm. The saying goes,
women are like a kettle of water that heat up slowly, so give yourself lots of
time to get warmed up.
Step Three: Embody Sensation
Begin by slowly teasing your way over your body with your fingertips with a feather light touch. Tease your various erogenous zones first before going anywhere near the breasts or nipples. Try the curve of your hips, inside your thighs, the ribs, the belly, the neck and the face. Allow yourself to build up sexual tension and anticipation s-l-o-w-l-y, taking pleasure in the feel of your touch. Immerse yourself in that moment of time, without any other agenda than feeling pleasure right now and becoming in tune with embodying the erotic sensations you are feeling.
Step Four: Intention and Attention
There is a saying,
energy flows where attention goes. Set yourself an intention to feel as much
pleasure as possible, nothing more. Then, use your imagination to visualize the
sexual energy coursing through your body, making the connection from your
genitals to your breasts and back, firing up the desire burning inside of you.
You can also use your imagination to create an erotic fantasy in your mind’s
eye that turns you on as well.
Step Five: Breath
The breath is fuel to
the fire of your orgasm. It helps activate more awareness, enlivens the senses,
and moves orgasmic energy around your body. More oxygen equals more pleasure!
Watch the Ocean Wave
Tantric Orgasmic Breathing Practice below by Ronja Sebastian to learn how to do
Step Six: Teasing Your Breasts
Continue to slowly tease your body with feather light touch, now bringing your attention to your breasts. Graze your fingertips lighting around your breasts in large circles, slowly narrowing in on the bull’s eye, as you spiral towards your nipples. But, don’t touch your nipples yet! Tease around the nipples in slow erotic strokes until your nipples crave your touch, and then softly caress over and around the nipples allowing them to naturally perk up with erotic goosebumps. Do this for as long as you like, then begin the Erotic Taoist Breast Massage technique below.
Step Seven: Erotic Taoist Breast Massage
The Erotic Taoist Breast Massage can be practiced daily as a way to self-love your breasts, to improve breast health, activate the erotic energy meridians, firm and lift the breast tissue, detoxify the lymphatic system and, awaken your breasts and sexual hormones to more orgasmic energy and pleasure! The more you practice this technique, the more it will begin to awaken your breasts and turn up your pleasure potential.
Pour massage oil into the palms of your hands. I recommend using natural organic coconut oil to massage with.
Rub them together vigorously to build heat.
Begin by stroking up between your breasts, then around the breasts in uplifting circles (don’t rub or press the breasts down, you want to uplift them).
Turn your hand into a claw shape and knead the breasts all over to release tension and toxins.
Continue to stroke around the breasts narrowing in on the nipple.
You can rock your hips back and forth to create an orgasmic flow, like in the Ocean Wave Breathing Practice above.
Clench and hold your PC muscle to build sexual energy in that area, then release with your breath, as you continue to massage and arouse the breasts.
Watch the breast
massage video below (called the Deer Exercise) by Mariah Freya to see how its
Step Eight: Nipple Circles and Enhanced Stimulation
By now, you should be
getting aroused. You can begin to do circles around your nipples and over the
nipples again to awaken them. Try pinching your nipple at the base, so your
fingers are lightly pinching around the areola (this is the most sensitive part!),
and then gently tugging them out and up. Continue pinching and tugging in a
rhythmic manner, as hard or soft as you like, whatever feels best to you.
Step Nine: Licking and Sucking
If you have a partner
with you, you can ask them to erotically lick and suck on your nipples if that
feels good. Sucking the nipples releasing oxytocin, so will help build arousal
in the body. If you don’t have a partner, you can wet your fingers with your
own saliva, and rub and tug on your nipples as if your fingers were your
lover’s mouth. You can even imagine this in your mind if that turns you on.
Alternately, see the suction vibrator in the Nipple Stimulation Toys section
Advanced Breast Stimulation Techniques
Erotic breast massage
is just one method we can use to begin to awaken pleasure in the breasts. Now
let’s explore some other ways to stimulate the breasts and nipples.
Nipple Sensation Play Techniques
Nipple sensation play is a form of Sensate Focus, a technique developed by Masters and Johnson created to help couples overcome sexual problems and to heighten pleasure and intimacy. Sensate focus is usually done all over the body, first avoiding the erogenous zones, but today we will adapt this practice for breast and nipple arousal. This works best for partner play, but you can also experiment solo to try out different and new forms of pleasure. Try using a blindfold during partner play as well, to rev up sexual tension and excitement!
The key to sensual
touch is to just explore sensations in the body, or in this case the breasts,
and find out what feels good to you. Experiment with various types of touch,
pressure, rhythm, and variety. The giver should be aware of how their touch is
being received, and the receiver should communicate back to their partner with
directions on how to touch, such as: harder, softer, more, right there, don’t
stop… you know the process.
Hands on Play: Try
various types of touch using soft strokes, teasing, tickling, pinching,
tugging, lighting scratching with nails, rubbing and kneading. Sexy!
Erotic Kisses: The
giving partner can use their mouth and tongue to explore erotic touch including
licking, flicking with the tongue, sucking, blowing with the breath, and erotic
French kisses. Mmm, Yes!
Explore sensations with different fabrics: satin, silk, fur, feathers, or
rougher fabrics like burlap or wool. Ooh la la!
Hot and Cold Play: Use
ice cubes to rub over the nipples and then alternate with heat, such as your
lover’s mouth after drinking hot tea. Hot!
Massage Oils: Discover
new erotic sensations by using massage oils with essential oils to awaken the
sense of smell and touch together. Warm wax massage candles are ideal for
erotic breast massage as well. Light the candle and allow it to melt for 20
minutes, then pour the warm wax over the breasts to massage. Ahhh sensual!
Nipple Suckers: Nipple suckers are little suction cups that fit over the nipples and create suction. Some types you squeeze to create a natural vacuum effect, while others use a twist top to increase suction once applied to the nipples. Adding lubricant or massage oil over the nipple or around the base of the toy helps create a better seal for suction.
Breast and Nipple Pumps: Breast pumps are like those used for lactating mothers, except these are for erotic pleasure. Most use a squeeze bulb or trigger to create more suction as you pump. Nipple pumps are similarly designed, except smaller to fit on the nipple.
Nipple Clamps: Oh yeah, nipple clamps. Nipple clamps are design to put pressure on the nipple by squeezing them with a pincher type clamp. The best ones to try for beginners are Alligator Clamps that you can screw to tighten, adjusting the pressure. Nipple clamps shouldn’t be painful, unless that is your goal. They should pinch the nipples to create more sensation, and stop the blood flow to the nipples. When they are removed, the blood flows back and the sensation is amplified. Don’t keep nipple clamps on longer than five or ten minutes when starting out and twenty minutes should be max. Watch the nipples so they don’t get cold, or turn blue or purple. You want to keep them happy and healthy for future play. If you don’t have nipple clamps you can try regular clothes pins (plastic ones are best). But beware, they don’t adjust and can be much more intense and painful.
Suction Vibrators: Oooh! Suction vibrators (also known as clit suckers) are my favorite. These are designed to hug the clitoris and provide suction and vibration at the same time for 1-minute orgasms. They also work especially well on nipples, especially if you don’t have a partner and want to experience that sucking feeling. Oxytocin yum!
Stimulating Balms: There are lots of stimulating balms on the market designed for nipple play. Some warm, some cool, some tingle and some do a nipple Tango. Okay, not the Tango part! Experiment with different sensations to see what you like!
But, Why Aren’t My Nipples Sensitive?
While nearly 82% of
women say they enjoy nipple and breast stimulation, there is that other 18% who
don’t. And, hey, that’s okay! Just because someone else enjoys it, doesn’t mean
you have to. We are all unique and have different things that turn us on. And
your experience is both valid and normal for you.
Whether your breast and
nipples are sensitive or not depends on a variety of factors: your estrogen and
progesterone levels; the time of the month (if you are on your period or not);
the density of your breast tissue or nerve endings; or if you have experienced
nerve damage. Other causes for desensitization could be breast surgery like
augmentation or a partial mastectomy that can cause nerve damage, injury,
breast cancer treatments, or simply by wearing a bra that doesn’t fit or is too
How to Get Sensation in My Nipples?
The brain is our
biggest erogenous zone and you can rewire your brain by creating new pathways
to pleasure, that allow your breasts and nipples to increase their sensitivity
and become more orgasmic over time. Be patient as you experiment with new
stimulation techniques as you allow yourself to develop new sensitivity.
Let your breasts and
nipples go free! Don’t confine your breasts to a bra all the time, give them
freedom to move and fresh air on them whenever you get the chance.
Give yourself a daily breast
massage. This will get you used to touching your breasts and experiencing
touch, so you can develop a healthy, loving and erotic relationship with your
Try out sensual senate
play techniques as detailed above to see what types of touch elicit a response.
Nipplegasms Are Awesome!
So that’s the scoop on
everything you ever wanted to know about breast and nipple orgasms. Hopefully
you have learned something new you can take home to the bedroom to experiment
with and start having your own awesome nipplegasms today!
breasts, titties, tatas, nipples and mammaries are fun to play with and can be
quite orgasmic with the right attention. So, start playing with them more if
you want to learn how to experience exquisite nipple orgasms, and if you don’t
like it, no worries. Nipplegasms are not for everyone, so find other ways to
turn yourself on. (o)(o)!
is masturbation month, and we’re here to blow your mind with these facts about
is a tale as old as evolution (and humans are among at least a dozen animal
species that enjoy self-pleasuring themselves!) You don’t have to look far for
signs of human self-gratification. While we now have porn and erotica showing
people in the act of self-love, early hunters and gatherers from the Upper
Paleolithic once painted pictures of people self-stimulating on the walls of
Evidence of female masturbation was first found depicted in a clay sculpture from the Island of Malta from Neolithic period (3300 BCE), called the Ħaġar Qim woman(see image here)[i] who is poised with her legs up in the air exposing her swollen vulva, and appears to be touching her genitals in a sexual fashion, says archeologist Timothy Taylor.[ii] The world’s oldest dildo is 28,000 years old,[iii] which is evidence that masturbation with a phallic object has been around a very long time.
one time, society was more open about self-pleasure than in our most recent
past. The ancient Sumerians, for example, believed that masturbation was good
for both men and women, and was practiced as an “act of creation” by their
Sumerian Gods. The ancient Egyptians followed suit, believing that masturbation
was a “creative or magical act: the god Atum was believed to have created the
universe by masturbating to ejaculation”. The Greeks also recognized that sexual
release via solo sex regularly helped to stave off sexual frustration, while
the Romans preferred using their left hand for solo sex.[iv]
advancements changed the landscape of self-pleasure. Dr. J. Mortimer Granville
patented the first vibrator in the early 1880s, but it took a while before the
device was marketed as an aid for jilling off. Instead, doctors were said to
have used their hands to “cure” women of hysteria.
was once a common medical diagnosis for women, categorized as a disease that
was both common and chronic. Symptoms included “faintness, nervousness, sexual
desire, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in the abdomen, shortness of
breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and a “tendency to
“cured” hysteria by manually stimulating women to orgasm, or “paroxysm”,[v] which, when
roughly translated was not an “orgasm”, but rather, “any sudden, violent
outburst; a fit of violent action or emotion: paroxysms of rage.”[vi] Sounds quite intense!
the 20th century ushered in the age of personal vibrators, which
became cordless and portable (unless you still enjoy your trusty Magic Wand).
Japanese companies introduced dual-stimulators with rabbits and other animals
as clitoral attachments such as the infamous “Rabbit Habit” featured in “Sex
and the City”. Bullets also became a
popular option for women who enjoyed clitoral stimulation and more discreet sex
has gotten increasingly high-tech. You can now use dual-density silicone and
oral sex simulators that promise orgasms in under one minute. You can control
your vibrator with an app on your phone or let your lover operate it from
across the world thanks to the Internet and teledildonics. Male masturbation devices
have also become increasingly sophisticated, with high-powered strokers, prostate
toys, and discreet “endurance trainers” that look like flashlights.
knows what sex toys will look like in the future?
masturbation has not always been received as favorably as it is today. In fact,
it has a very unpleasant past.
was considered a taboo and bad for you throughout most our history. It was
considered a “wasting of seed”, in some societies who believed that semen was a
source of precious energy. This was the case with ancient Taoists, who believed
energy (called Qi) was housed in sperm.
Therefore, when a man masturbated, he lost energy and virility. The
Taoists weren’t the only one who held beliefs like this: Hippocrates, the
ancient Greek physician, warned against masturbation due to potential spinal
rhetoric also thrived within the Christian church, and masturbation was
condemned for bringing a person a type of ecstasy that should only be part of a
religious experience. The Bible went so far as to condemn Onan (onanism), who
appears in Genesis, for “spilling his seed” on the ground rather than having
sex with his brother’s widow.[viii]
Reports like these were far from uncommon, and the condemnation of “self-pollution” led to all sorts of pervasive myths about its negative consequences. One popular myth declared that jerking off could make hair grow on the palms of your hands and even caused people to become werewolves or was a cause blindness. During the Victorian times, doctors believed that playing with yourself could lead to conditions such as gout, epilepsy, acne – and, even cancer.[ix] Some myths are still persistent in our society today, such as masturbation stunting your growth.[x] The Mormon church spread literature warning about “self-abuse” as recently as the 1990s.[xi]
Harvey Kellogg (the creator of Corn Flakes) and Sylvester Graham, who invented
the graham cracker, both “advocated keeping the diet plain to prevent sexual
spicy foods enhanced the libido.
leaders also advised people to avoid looking at their naked bodies in the
mirror to prevent temptation. If you felt the desire to masturbate, you could
participate in activities such as thinking about tubs of worms to quell the
urge.[xiii] That’s one way to dampen the libido!
“cures” for masturbation were much more extreme and cruel, including the
practice of using anti-masturbation devices that employed spikes, electricity,
or cages to prevent boys from touching themselves. Castration was used in some
didn’t escape unscathed either. Clitorectomies were performed to remove part or
all of a girl’s clitoris[xiv], an organ whose sole
purpose is to bring sexual pleasure. In extreme cases, the woman suffering from
hysteria were forced to enter an insane asylum or to undergo a surgical
Everything from blister powder to leeches were employed to tried to prevent
adolescents from masturbating.
is really hard to believe that society feared the masturbation so intensely as
they once did.
that self-pleasure is bad for you persists today and masturbating with a
vibrator is thought to be addictive. This simply isn’t true, however. While
compulsive masturbation is not good for you, regular masturbation doesn’t pose
people in today’s society still carry a lot of sexual guilt and shame around
masturbation and sexual pleasure in general.
This sex-negative attitude has hampered, rather than enhanced sexual
relationships between men and women.
people do masturbate, and it is estimated that up 92[xvi] percent
of women actively masturbates according to Jimmy Jane (and 95% of men[xvii]), while
the rest just don’t admit it.
attitudes towards masturbation have drastically changed for the better with
many physicians, sexual experts and psychiatrists encouraging masturbation as a
practice that is actually good for you![xviii]
The Benefits of Masturbation
masturbation was considered a sin or shameful in many cultures and it hasn’t
been until recently that masturbation was opening discussed and even
is evidence that masturbation is actually good for you on many levels: physically,
psychologically and emotionally.
give yourself a hand! Masturbation is both healthy and normal!
For the Guys
Regular ejaculation reduces the risks of prostate cancer. One study says it can reduce the risk up to 20% for men who ejaculate 21 times or more per month. So, if you are not in a regular sexual relationship, masturbation can keep your risks lower.
Masturbation can increase stamina and reduce premature ejaculation. Delayed gratification does not always make for a good sexual experience. Men that have minor issues with premature ejaculation can help increase stamina with a regular practice. Alternating techniques and consciously increasing the time before they allow themselves to ejaculate gives them more staying power.
For the Gals
Masturbation strengthens the pelvic floor and uterine muscles. Kegels are great but giving yourself extended pleasure is mind blowing. Learning where your muscles are and how to contract and expand them creates more pleasure for you solo and with a partner. This also benefits as you age and after childbirth as it helps with lubrication and delays vaginal atrophy.
Sexual release helps your brain function with more clarity.
Women who have limited sex drive, from a myriad of causes including abuse and menopause can learn to enjoy sex and increase their libido and sensitivity.
Masturbation is empowering!
Masturbation increases endorphins that increase your “feel-good” mental state and are beneficial for the body also.
Sexual energy is our creative, life-force energy. Increasing this energy regularly unleashes more creativity and a higher energy vibration.
Masturbation helps promote better sleep, the endorphins help relax and calm your mind and body.
Regular masturbation helps to increase your libido: the more sexual pleasure you have the more you want.
Stress relief also happens during sex or via masturbation, with a partner or solo. It gets you out of your mind and into your body.
Pleasure can reduce aches and pains. The old adage from women, “I have a headache” may be only an excuse. Sexual pleasure and orgasms are proven to reduce or relieve aches and pains.
You increase your knowledge of your body and your pleasure when you masturbate, so when you do have a partner you can teach them how to pleasure you and thus, have better, more satisfying experiences.
Regular orgasms and sexual pleasure also strengthen your immune system.
The American Medical Association declared masturbation a normal and healthy sexual activity in 1972. At Sexpert.com we believe masturbation is a healthy part of your sexuality and has many benefits. If you want to learn more about masturbation and how to masturbate, check out our course at Loveology University on Self Pleasure and Masturbation.
[i] Image of Malta of Venus-
[ii] Alexandra Churchill, 10 CRAZY Things You NEED To Know About
Masturbation. May 2017. Your Tango. Accessed 04/26/18. https://www.yourtango.com/2014216255/solo-sex-self-love-orgasm-things-you-didnt-know-about-female-masturbation
[iii] Natasha Hinde, This Stone Penis
Is 28,000 Years Old And Was (Probably) Used As Dildo In The Ice Age,
01/19/2015, Huffington Post, Accessed 04/26/18.
[iv] History of Masturbation, Wikipedia, Accessed
[v] Michael Castleman M.A., “Hysteria”
and the Strange History of Vibrators, 03/01/3013, Psychology Today, Accessed
[vii] Dr. R. W. Bernard. Science Discovers the
Physiological Value of Continence, 1957, Self Definition, Accessed 04/26/18.
Justin J Lehmiller, A Scientist’s Response To The “War On Masturbation”. March
03, 2014, LeMiller.com – Accessed 4/25/2018.
[xii] John Harvey Kellogg. Wikipedia. 20 April 2018. Accessed 4/25/2018. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harvey_Kellogg#Breakfast_cereals
Whether you are curious or experienced, bondage is a taboo topic that excites many people. It’s risqué, kinky, erotic and just dark enough to be tantalizing. Maybe you just want to spice up your “vanilla” sex life a bit, or perhaps you are already into BDSM and exploring darker forbidden sexual fun. Either way, using restraints is an erotic activity that couples can use to spice up the dynamics of their sex life.
Bondage has become much more popular with couples in the last few years due to the success of the Shades of Grey franchise. More and more couples are becoming curious of this type of sensual erotic play, using fuzzy hair cuffs and under the bed restraints as a regular practice to fulfill fantasies and heat up their regular routine.
What is Sexual Bondage?
The definition of sexual bondage is, “use of sex restraints for sexual pleasure”. It does not have to be full on BDSM, with all whips & chains or more extreme types of play. It can simply mean you enjoy kinky sex toys to enhance your sensual relationship with your partner.
Bondage is more about seduction than domination. That is what makes it appealing and exiting. Slow, sensual foreplay with the element of deep trust, surprise that tantalizes the senses for greater pleasure by creating uncertainty, with something new and mysterious.
For the bound partner, the slow tease brings them to greater heights of pleasure and orgasm. For the dominant partner, learning to tune in & turn on is sexy too, for we receive pleasure through the act of giving pleasure.
While this should be fun and exciting, there are other considerations you should also keep in mind. The two most important foundations of bondage sex play are communication and safety. These must be priority before you ever pull out the sex restraints and kinky sex toys!
Your partner may not be ok with bondage play, as it could be a fear or a trigger from past issues. There could be health reasons that they may not be able to participate, that you are not aware of. There are many variables why someone may not be interested in trying bondage or feel unsafe in doing so.
If your partner is not on board, honor that preference. Respect and trust are paramount to a good, healthy sexual relationship. It could be something as simple as claustrophobia, that will not allow them to open and receive enough to use sex restraints.
It also could be something your partner has just never thought of, and it may take time for them to decide if they are keen on this new idea or not. The key is to be open and honest, have a conversation about it beforehand, without any judgements.
These are guidelines, not an all-inclusive list of safety precautions. Always be aware of what is going on and think about the risks involved before you try something new.
Trust is key to a good bondage experience! Never try bondage with a brand-new partner or someone you do not know well and trust deeply.
Never engage in bondage play if either partner is under the influence of any alcohol or drugs. This could cause you to have poor judgement about the risks, or not remember safety first and foremost.
Agree on the limits and scenarios you are both comfortable with beforehand.
Create and agree on safe words. Like “yellow” to try something different and “red” to stop totally. When safe words are used, there needs to be a discussion about why and how the partner feels.
If you use neck or throat play, never tie anything around the area, as this could easily cause severe harm. There are special collars made for safe play with the throat.
Ensure that when you tie a sex restraint there is at least 1-2 fingers gap between the restraint and the skin. Binding too tight could cut of circulation and/or damage nerves. The skin should be regularly checked for numbness or coldness.
Never leave a bound partner alone, as this could be extremely dangerous.
Keep a pair of safety scissors nearby in case the need arises to quickly remove restraints.
Do not bind around or across pulse points which include the upper, inner thigh, throat, and wrists to avoid direct pressure and cut off the circulation.
Do not apply any pressure or restraint across the Brachial Plexus nerve, along the back near the shoulder blade.
As a beginner, never keep a partner restrained in one position for more than 20 minutes. It could lead to cramping, numbing and other unsexy things.
Use simple techniques when you are learning.
Avoid silk scarves, nylon or other stretchy materials or ropes as these can tighten to a harmful level very quickly. Struggling is usually part of the turn on and could cause a dangerous situation. Stick with nylon, leather, furry metal cuffs or cotton rope. You can also purchase bondage kits and kinky sex toys from sex shops to ensure safety.
Keep communication and safety as your priority, and bondage may become a very pleasurable sex play for you and your partner.
All sexual relationships usually go through a period of down time for one reason or another. Maybe you and your partner are too busy, overworked, tired, not in the mood, angry or resentful, or maybe suffering from a low libido.
Not to worry. This is the normal evolution of a sexual relationship. But, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here are some sure-fire ways to add spice to your relationship and sex it up!
Plan a Date Night Away From Family
Yes, sometimes we can’t always be spontaneous. Planning a date night together can actually be quite arousing as you both anticipate what is going to take place on that special night. Plus, planning a night out (or in) without the kids, pets, or other distractions can give you both time to relax, and give your attention to each other. It can be simple as getting a hotel room, or sending the kids on a sleepover for the night as you get Chinese take-out and watch a romantic movie together.
Sex Outdoors or in Different Place
Summer is the time for sexy fun and what better way to celebrate than have sex outdoors? Sex on the beach under a full moon, camping in the woods, picnic in a secluded park, making out in a car on Lover’s Lane. You get the idea. Don’t forget the bug spray, sunscreen and a blanket to lay on. And, if you don’t want to chance getting caught, then try it in a different place indoors. Laundry room, kitchen, attic, bathtub or shower. Just changing up the place you normally have sex can make it more exciting and novel.
Shift the Time of Day to Suit Your Lover
Most guys get hard-ons in the morning. So, if your lover has a bit of a libido issue, you may want to get them first thing in the am while they still have morning wood. You can slowly seduce them as they wake. Pop a breath mint into your mouth and delight them to some oral sex. Get some massage oil and give them a hand job or get right into the action and jump their bone!
Feeling like your libido is low? Eat chocolate. This sinful little indulgence provides guaranteed pleasure (some women even think it is better than sex!), and releases feel good endorphins (Serotonin) which make you feel happy and increases your body’s ability to respond sexually. It also contains PEA (phenethylamine) which stimulates the nervous system and other endorphins as well as dopamine which increases sexual desire. For guilt-free pleasure get dark chocolate which has more of the good stuff (all of the above) and less of the bad stuff (fat and sugar).
Dance, Dance, Dance!
Dancing has numerous health benefits as well as making you feel great. It delays the aging process helping you stay young, blasts away calories making you slimmer, builds muscles, and is great for the lungs and the heart. Dancing also elevates your mood by raising endorphin levels which allows you to reduce stress and depression. Not only that, but if you learn Belly dance, the art of strip tease, or pole dancing, it is also very sexy and helps boost confidence and self-esteem. So, put on some music and slow dance with your partner to turn up the heat, or give them a special show!
Erotic massage is a great way to relax, reduce stress and reconnect with your lover. It awakens the senses and activates whole-body healing, including increasing circulation while giving your skin a healthy glow, as well as releasing toxins. Plus, it is a great way to create intimacy with your lover and is a very sexy form of foreplay. It is give-give situation, as you can both trade off giving and receiving massage together. So, pick up a sensual massage oil (or make your own with olive oil and essence oils) and do some sensual healing.
Masturbation is great for the mind, not just the body. It relieves stress, is a natural sleep sedative and releases feel good mood boosting endorphins to help fight off depression. Sexologists say that self-love is empowering while promoting vitality and self-esteem, so it also makes you a better lover because you can communicate to your partner what you like. Not only that, but masturbation is great for the body and has so many health benefits. Seriously! It improves the immune system’s function, reducing the signs of aging and menopause, and may help reduce the risk of osteoporosis in older women by increasing bone mass. It can also relieve menstrual cramps, migraine headaches and chronic back pain. And, finally, as an added bonus, masturbation (along with kegel exercises) helps build a stronger pelvic floor which leads to better pleasure, control and orgasms in both men and women. Masturbation keeps your sex organs lubricated and in working order, so you are ready for sex (and more turned on) more often. Better yet, do it with your lover!
Share Your Kinky Fantasies
We are human and we all have fantasies. They may be romantic fantasies of being romanced and swept off your feet by a white night, pirate or Viking marauder. Or maybe a bit kinkier like getting spanked, experimenting with bondage, sensation play or dominance and submission. Whatever that kink is, share it with your partner. Ask them if they want to try something new in the bedroom and have a chat to see what fantasies you both share and would like to try out together in real life. It might both surprise and delight you both!
Get Some Kinky Toys
I love my kinky toys. If I am ever stuck for something fun to do in the bedroom I always can rely on my tickle trunk of kinky sex toys to make the ordinary, extraordinary. Hand cuffs—Check! Feather tickler—Check! Small flogger, ball gag, nipple clamps, butt plugs, pinwheel, monkey mask (don’t ask!)—Check! If you don’t have any kinky toys yet, but would like to get some, go shopping online and browse the huge range of kinky sex toys that are available. I’m sure you will find something you’d like to try.
Well that’s it for today’s article on spicing up your sex life. I hope you found some good ideas to get turned on and get in on, with your lover.