Sunday, August 20, 2017
Authors Posts by Anka Radakovich

Anka Radakovich

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Sex Educator, Sexologist, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. http://www.amazon.com/The-Wild-Girls-Club-Part/dp/0990462129 THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. She lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad. @ankarad www.ankagirl.com

Hairy Results Of Pubic Hair Study Just (Grew) In

Ever wonder how many people hurt themselves while shaving their pubes? We didn’t either, but apparently a group of researchers at University of California, San Francisco did. Their study, called “Prevalence of Pubic Hair Grooming — Related Injuries and Identification of High-Risk Individuals in the United States,” asked the burning question: “What are the prevalence and clinical correlates of injuries among US adults who groom public hair?” In other words, “How many people accidentally hurt their lady bits/junk while chopping down the pube ‘fro?”

7,570 people 18-65 answered the survey, which found that 76.1% of people are at-home pubic hair groomers. About a quarter (25.6%) of the respondents said they hurt themselves while shaving. The most common injuries were cuts (61.2%), burns, (23.0%), and rashes (12.2%). The survey also found that people are most likely to injure themselves when they lie on their backs or let someone else shave them. Just say no to “Honey, can I shave your bush?”

And what was the reason for this study? According to JAMA Dermatology, a medical journal where the study was published, it was to “identify demographic and behavioral risk factors associated with pubic hair grooming-related injures and develop recommendations for safe grooming practices. The study may contribute to the development of clinical guidelines for safe pubic hair removal.” (Future guidelines after this will include “After two drinks, do let your boyfriend/girlfriend shave your pubes.”)

The study also found that “Waxing in women may protect against high-frequency injuries, although more research is necessary to confirm this finding.” Tell me about it; I once had a “bikini wax” that was way too hot, and my “little lady” felt like it was sunburned for two days. Five words: ice pack and cortisone cream.

The study stated that “People groom their pubic hair for different reasons, including sexual appeal, oral sex, partner preference, or routine care and hygiene.” It also reported a “heat map” that showed the percentage of injuries on specific body parts. For dudes, the scrotum was hurt the most (67.2%), followed by the ween (34.8%), and the pubic mound (28.9%.) Lady bits injured the most were the pubis (51.3%), inner thigh (44.9%), and the vag (42.5%). This was followed by the perineum/butthole (13.2%).

The one aspect of pubic hair shaving the study didn’t focus on was the idea of ingrown hairs; the biggest issue when shaving the privates. An ingrown serum called Fur has reached cult-like status with ladies who like their womanhood to feel non-razor bumpy a day or two after the hairs grow back.

According to the serum’s packaging “Key ingredients coconut oil softens skin and trapped hair so ingrown hairs slide out. Tea tree oil helps clear pores and minimize ingrowns; antimicrobial Tamanu oil promotes healing of delicate skin; regenerative chamomile extract soothes skin; and is anti-inflammatory and calming.”

Wishing you a smooth/”smoove” shave.

How To Keep UTIs Away

60% of all women will get a U.T.I. (Urinary Tract Infection) sometime in their lifetime. And if you’ve ever had one, you have felt the burn, which does not feel good. At all. We asked Dr. Allison Hill, and Dr. Yvonne Bonn, both Obstetrician/Gynecologists, how to deal with it when you get one, and how to keep from getting one.

Sexpert: What is the best antibiotic for a UTI?

Dr. Hill: “The choice of antibiotic for a UTI depends on which type of bacteria is causing it. Ideally, if you have symptoms of a UTI, you will have a urine culture done.  In this test, a sample of your urine is sent to a lab and the bacteria is grown over a period of two to three days. In this way, the specific strain of bacteria can be identified. In addition, the bacteria will be tested against a group of antibiotics to see which medications will be effective in treating it. If the culture isn’t done, your doctor will need to guess which antibiotic to use. This is the most common reason why a UTI doesn’t go away after treatment – because the antibiotic wasn’t the correct one. When you go to an Urgent Care or call your doctor for a Rx, they are simply guessing which medication is correct.”

What is the biggest cause of UTIs? Anything else that make UTIs worse?

Dr. Hill: “The most common cause is sexual activity and simply allowing bacteria into your vagina; whether it’s not wiping front to back or wearing tight clothing/undergarments.”

Sexpert: If you get a U.T.I. and you are in pain, what do you recommend before you can get to the doctor for antibiotics? 

Thank you! Now I won’t have to feel like I’m peeing battery acid. 

How To Keep From Feeling The Burn: Tips from Dr. Yvonne Bohn, OB/GYN

Stay hydrated

“For overall health we should all drink plenty of water to keep our system hydrated. For most people that is about 8 cups of water a day. Drinking adequate amounts of water will flush bad bacteria out of the urinary tract or urethra when urinating. By doing so, you prevent the bacteria from multiplying and making their way into the bladder.”

Clean yourself from front to back when going to the bathroom

“When you finish going to the bathroom, always wipe from front to back, never back to front. By following this motion, you’ll reduce the amount of bacteria that may creep its way into the vagina from the rectum and ultimately into the urinary tract.”

Choose breathable undergarments

“It may be a surprise to some women, but your clothes and underwear (especially those you wear to the gym) can affect your health and may increase the chance of infection. When we exercise, moisture builds up in our groin, vaginal and rectal areas, and this moisture makes it easier for bacteria to grow. Therefore, opt for cotton underwear that doesn’t suffocate you whether you’re at work or while working out, and change out of tight fitting or damp workout clothes immediately after a sweat session.”

Pick birth control methods wisely

“Certain types of birth control methods – specifically, diaphragms and spermicides — increase the chances of getting a UTI. Diaphragms may potentially prevent the bladder from emptying completely so bacteria can grow and cause a UTI. Spermicides can alter vaginal pH which deplete the vagina of the good bacteria and allow yeast and other bad bacteria to grow. Talk to your doctor about other birth control options if you have experienced a UTI on one of these methods.”

Take care of your vagina before and after sex

“Vaginal health may not be top of mind when you’re getting busy, but you may want to consider it. Without a doubt, always clean your genital and anal areas before and after sex (try a baby wipe or a damp washcloth) to eliminate as much bacteria as possible. Note that “cleaning” does not involve douching, which can be really harmful and increase the risk of UTIs. Also, try to urinate before and immediately after sex to flush out your bladder. Never hold it — it will only keep bacteria in your system longer.”

Drink and eat your way to urinary tract health

“Staying UTI-free may be as easy as implementing powerhouse foods and drinks into your daily routine, for example, a product like Cystex Urinary Health Maintenance. If that’s not your cup of tea, try other options such as high-fiber foods or fermented milk products, all of which have been shown to promote healthy bacteria.”

Cosmo Goes Inside the Secret Sex Lives of 20-Something Married Women

A sex study conducted by Cosmopolitan says that many young married couples in their twenties are already dissatisfied with their sex lives! 52% of respondents wish they were getting it on more often.

The survey of 1,162 respondents ages 20 to 29, was drawn from Hearst publications social media accounts It found that a majority (60%) said they had sex at least 2 to 3 times a week before they were married, which dropped in frequency post-marriage. Men were more likely than women to say they wished they were doing the deed more often (62%), but nearly half (47%) of women also said they wanted more sexy time. The good news here is at least they are still getting laid.

How many times a week do 20-something marrieds do it? Elizabeth, 24, told Cosmo “There was definitely a drop-off after the first few months of marriage,” who celebrated her second wedding anniversary, although she and her husband have been together for about six years. “Right after the wedding, it was great, we were having sex all the time. But now, there are just so many times when one of us feels stressed out and just wants to go to sleep.” Omg, wait until AARP does a sex survey, which will reveal that seniors are lucky if they get sex once a month!

But the good news is that while everything is not perfect, most married twenty-somethings are happy in their marriages — and continue to find their spouses as attractive, or more attractive, than they did before the wedding. Yay! The vast majority of respondents (93%), said their marriage is “extremely” (64%) or “somewhat” (29 %) happy.

Like couples of any age, the survey found that “scheduling is often the main issue–either couples work different hours, or travel frequently.” Some couples who have problems all couples have, including a lack of communication, or mismatched sexual needs, said that “their desire have sex with their spouse isn’t gone.” They’re just too busy to get busy.

Others said the stress of dealing with their partner’s family and friends, and financial pressures, like buying a house, stressed them out more than when they were single or dating.

Esther Perel, who commented on the study for Cosmopolitan, said “For married couples, the quality of sex is more important than the frequency. The real question is, are they erotic with each other and do they maintain that erotic energy? You don’t always maintain desire in a marriage only by having masculine-focused, penetrative sex. People can maintain intimacy in other ways.” Three words for 20-something married men: Use your tongue.

But the biggest ball buster for young couples was having a baby. Half (51%) of respondents with children said that having a child has made their sex life somewhat or much worse.  One wife said “The exhaustion of pregnancy on top of having a baby is pretty terrible. I feel bad because I know that sex, for him, is kind of a stress reliever, and also because having that time together is something I want too. But it’s so hard to find a few minutes to even stop and think, and then I’m usually too tired.”

The study found that getting married initially does often make couples feel more sexually connected. But for some, like Shannon, 26, who’s been married for three years, the felling may not last. “Our ‘honeymoon paper’ lasted quite a bit past the honeymoon,” she says. “We used to have sex pretty much every day–now I’d say we’re lucky if it’s once a week.” After three years, the feeling may not last. “Our ‘honeymoon period’ lasted quite a bit past the honeymoon,” she says. “We used to have sex pretty much every day — now I’d say once a week.”

Shannon reveals that she and her husband both masturbate when they’re not able to have sex. “We’ve talked about it and we’re both pretty clear that it’s not a substitute for the real thing, so I wouldn’t say either of us really feels bad about it, or that we do it all the time,” she says. “It’s just helpful when one of us isn’t in the mood.” We say never feel bad about it, just do it.

The survey showed that majority (55 %) of respondents masturbate at least 2 to 3 times a month. Men, however, are much more likely than women to say they masturbate — and they also masturbate more frequently. 24% of women say they never masturbate, compared to 13 % of men. And a majority (52 %) of men masturbate at least 2 to 3 times a week, while only 20 % of women say the same. We absolutely love sex surveys, but we don’t need one to tell us that guys rub it out more than girls do!

And finally, do 20-somethings watch porn? The answer is a big, throbbing yes. Nearly half (48 %) of men reported that they watch porn weekly, while approximately two-thirds of women watch porn a few times a year or less (20 %) or never (45 %). “Porn doesn’t have any of the things that women find pleasurable about sex, says Perel. “There’s about one minute of foreplay in porn, usually, and for her the foreplay is often the main thing.”

We wish all 20-something couples many orgasms to come.

Gay Coming Out Animated Short Goes Viral

A short animated film about a high school boy who develops a crush on another boy has gone viral, with almost 6 million views on Youtube.  The 4 minute student film, called In a Heartbeat, is about a closeted boy who “runs the risk of being outed by his own heart after it pops out of his chest to chase down the boy of his dreams.”

The project was started by art students Esteban Bravo and Beth David at the Ringling College of Art and Design, who raised over $14,000 of their $3,000 goal with their  Kickstarter campaign.

“It’s a film that deals with a real and personal topic in a very sweet and lighthearted way,” they wrote on Kickstarter. The two effectively captured the fear that everyone has when they have a crush on someone: that the person you have a crush on doesn’t have one on you, which is how crushes usually work.

“The original pitch was a story between a boy and a girl,” David told NBC News.“But it wasn’t until we made it about a same-gender crush that the idea really started to take form and resonate.”

“We wanted to challenge the preconceived notion that LGBTQ content is not appropriate or suitable for younger audiences,” Bravo said. “It’s an innocent story about a boy and his crush that we hope will resonate with younger people regardless of their background.”

The story is about a boy who is outed by his own heart, which pops out of his chest to chase down another male classmate who the boy has a crush on. The film follows the boy as he tries to contain his heart, which doesn’t seem to be contained.

To develop the story, Bravo and David discussed their own experiences growing up closeted in school. “The success of it just proves that there are audiences ready and hungry for this kind of content,” they said.

Film poster for “In a Heartbeat” Beth David and Esteban Bravo

“The LGBTQ themes are of course front and center, but ultimately it’s a story about a crush,” David said. “That’s something that almost everyone has experienced and can understand — which is kind of the point we were trying to make, that everyone, even gay kids, go through this.”

David and Bravo said the short was a “delicate balance between touching on emotions that can feel universal to everyone while still highlighting experiences that can be unique to LGBTQ adolescents developing their first crush. We tried to tell this story from a genuine place and be as honest as we could about how especially layered this experience is for LGBTQ kids.”

“Drone Boning” Is Now A Thing

We like anything to do with boning, so when we saw this short film called “Drone Boning,” we liked how someone creatively used drones. The synopsis of the film is “Aerial footage of people boning, captured by drones.”

Film curator Meghan Oretsky of Vimeo, has created two fun, sex-centric channels called Let’s Get Horizontal, which is “full of innuendo and good old fashioned NSFW sexy times” and Genius Genitalia, which is an “ode to private parts.”

Filmmakers, Ghost + Cow’s John Carlucci and Brandon LaGanke told us that Drone Boning was conceived when Brandon was on a commercial shoot that was using a drone, and during a shot, he imagined how hilarious it would be if he unexpectedly came upon people having sex. Carlucci says “He got back from that job, told me about it and I thought: “Yes, definitely, let’s do it. Why “Drone Boning? Because it was an awesome idea.”

The drone, an S1000 from DJI, was flown by the a professional drone team, Spark Aerial from San Diego, an aerial cinematography company, that also has a a drone flight school.

The actually boning itself looks like you’re in an airplane coming in for the landing and you see people doing it. The filmmakers were successful in capturing the voyeuristic thrill of seeing people doing something you’re not supposed to be seeing.

According to Carlucci “All of these boning scenarios were set up. We hired all the actors. We spent a day scouting, and picking the most picturesque and isolated places. Then on our shoot day we would roll in, send up the drone place talent, they would disrobe, bone and then we’d grab everything and bounce. We shot over a holiday weekend so there were people everywhere. We were in and out in about 20-30 minutes,” he says, which is a lot longer than most sex acts take.

Having sex is public or outdoors consistently ranks as one of the top three sex fantasies, (closely following having sex with someone you’re not supposed to have sex with.) “Drone Boning” takes you from lush vineyards to open fields to the backyard of someone’s barn.

And like the thrill of having sex outdoors, the crew was afraid of getting caught. “We were terrified of being arrested while we were shooting it because we never knew if the cops were going to show up and pinch us for what we were shooting,” says Carlucci.

You can view the film here.

Good Vibrations Buys Babeland Sex Toy Stores

The iconic Good Vibrations in San Francisco is getting into bed with Babeland. The iconic Good Vibrations in San Francisco — one of the first sex shops in the U.S., will buy the Babeland brand, which includes three stores in New York City and its flagship store in Seattle, Washington. The multiple stores will continue to produce multiple orgasms.

“Good Vibrations was the first sex-positive and women-centered store in the United States,” said the store’s Sexologist, Dr. Carol Queen, PhD. Founded in 1977 by Sex Therapist and Sex Educator Joani Blank, the store opened initially as an alternative to the creepy, male-centric adult sex stores called “raincoat” stores. “Good Vibes” as it is known, instead decided to go with a female friendly, sex positive store offering products for female pleasure, as well as fun, adult sex education classes. The store pioneered the concept of a “sex positive, clean, well-lighted place” to buy sex toys. Business has been buzzing ever since.

The store is notorious for its “Antique Vibrator Museum” with its stimulating display of antique vibrators, going back to the 1870’s. The vibrators were initially developed as a “cure” for female hysteria. The museum is now a tourist draw and is listed by Frommer’s in the category “Best Free Things to Do in San Francisco”. Cases of vibrators are arranged by decade, starting with the Victorian era and tracing the vibrator’s history, when in the 1930’s it was sold as a “back massager” and in the 1950’s advertised as a “facial massager.” Also on display is an elaborate handmade “hippie vibrator” from 1967 made in a hippie commune. 

“Babeland was co-founded by Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning 25 years ago as an affirming, feminist, lifestyle brand,” said Good Vibrations. “Cavanah and Venning are ready to say goodbye and move on to other pursuits after a momentous run of helping countless customers discover new pleasures and greater enjoyment in their sex lives.”

“Good Vibrations, with nine stores in five cities and goodvibes.com, will expand its reach and continue Babeland’s mission with similar education programs and curated products,” said Venning. It’s been a joy and an adventure to start and grow Babeland. Having Good Vibrations take over makes it easier to let go because we share so many of the same feminist values.” Co-founded by Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning in 1993 in Seattle, Babeland was the result of two queer, sex positive feminists who saw a need to create a welcoming and friendly place to shop.

Good Vibrations will continue their sex positivity and said “We take it as our mission to respond to all forms of sexual shame and support people as they discover their authentic sexual selves.”

Boner Inducing Coffee Recalled

Talk about a stiff cup of coffee, the FDA announced last week that a “Natural Herb Coffee” was being recalled and pulled off U.S. shelves due to an undeclared ingredient that causes erections.

According to The Washington Post, the stiffee coffee from Malaysia, “uniquely spelled “New of Kopi Jantan Tradisional Natural Herbs Coffee” contained desmethyl carbodenafil.”

“Desmethyl carbodenafil is structurally similar to sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, an FDA-approved prescription drug for erectile dysfunction,” the FDA said in a statement. The undeclared ingredient may interact with nitrates found in some prescription drugs, such as nitroglycerin, and may lower blood pressure to dangerous levels,” the FDA noted.

“There are whole streets of it, like tequila in Mexico,” Albert Yee told The Washington Post, describing how his one-man Texas import business is now at the center of a nationwide voluntary recall coordinated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

According to the FDA, “New of Kopi Jantan Tradisional Natural Herbs Coffee is used as a male enhancement and is packaged in small packs and consumed as an instant coffee.” The good news is that “no  illness has been reported to date.” The other good news is that if you go to Maylasia, all the men have giant erections.

Boon Kean, a senior researcher at the Forest Research Institute of Malaysia, told ABC that Tongkat Ali can boost low testosterone and sperm count. But doctors in the U.S. warn against taking the supplement, as it is often combined with dangerous, unknown ingredients. For men who need a real boner pill, doctors recommend seeing a urologist and getting the real thing: Viagra or Cialis.

A similar recall happened in 2016 with the same product ingredients, but with an even better name — Stiff Bull Herbal coffee. It also contained undeclared desmethyl carbodenafil.

Gas stations and convenience stores often sell “herbal viagra” with the same ingredient. So the next time you see supplements with names like “Reload”, “King Dong”, “Vigorama”, “VigRX”, “Super Hard,” ‘Men’s Club,” or “Stiff Nights”, now you will know what’s going on. Or going up.

“VigRX Plus”, a “male virility supplement ideally formulated to stimulate sexual activity,” claims to “help to maintain a firm erection, and aid in the increase of sexual pleasure.” It lists ingredients that include Korean Red Ginseng, Saw Palmetto, Hawthorne Berry, Gingko Biloba, and Damiana, but makes no mention of the “real” dong enhancer desmethyl carbodenafil.

Roadside “Natural Viagra” anyone?

Photo by Julian Fong

Tinder Stock Surges Due To Two New Features

Tinder stock had a surge in price this week, apparently due to two new features. “Tinder Select” and the new “Super Like” features have created more interest in the dating app than ever before.

It seems that people are willing to pay a little bit more for “Super Liking” someone and getting Super Liked back, and are willing to shell out for the chance to meet celebrities and people who are actually employed, successful, and interesting. (In contrast to the dating site “Plenty of Fish” which has been nicknamed “Plenty of Losers.”)

According to Wall Street’s Barron’s Next, “The chance to find love on Tinder is also stimulating interest in its parent company’s stock Match Group.” Match’s stock was up 5.5% this week.

“Tinder’s improved standing in iOS “grossing” app rankings suggests that the company added significantly more paying members in the past quarter than Wall Street has been expecting,” says Barron’s. (Placement in app Annie’s rankings tend to correlate with growth in paid-member additions.) Wall Street analyst Samuel Kemp, of the firm Piper Jaffray, doubled his estimates to 340,000 for the quarter, ahead of Wall Street’s projections.”

The idea of Tinder Select seems pretty great. Users report that they’ve suddenly been getting super liked by people they can’t believe are super liking them. “I’ve been getting a whole new level of person interested in me,” wrote one Tinder Select user. The only problem is getting selected to become a Tinder Select user. You have to either be personally selected and invited by Tinder itself, or a current Tinder Select member has to invite you. Good luck with that. (We promise if we get invited we’ll invite you.)

There doesn’t seem to be a way to “apply” to get on Tinder Select, so getting into Tinder’s VIP room with the velvet ropes remains a mystery. According to Business Insider,”It could have something to do with your “Elo score,” or a secret rating of desirability, based on the number of people who swipe right on you and other metrics.” The reporter who tried it said it didn’t look much different from Tinder, except that he woke up to 20 Super Likes. So who wouldn’t want to pay a little extra for super likeability?

“Adding to Kemp’s optimism is the fact that Tinder appears to doing a good job of adding paid members even before it begins rolling out a new interface and new features for its paid members, which is expected to happen later this year,” adds Barron’s. “He raised his price target to $23, 23% higher than current levels.”

And if all else fails and you don’t get an invite, at least you got a good stock tip.

The coveted Tinder Select invite.

Gay History Museum Celebrates The Summer of Love

PHOTO: Allen Ginsberg at the Human Be-In, Golden Gate Park (1967). Copyright © Lisa Law.

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the 1967 “Summer of Love,” the GLBT History Museum in San Francisco presents a new exhibition “Lavender-Tinted Glasses: A Groovy, Gay Look at the Summer of Love.”

“In San Francisco’s Haight Ashbury district, young people were seeking a way out of what they saw as the soul-destroying alienation of materialism,” curator Joey Cain says. “They created new art, philosophies, politics, forms of self-expansion, music and relationships. The city already had a dynamic LGBTQ community, and many members saw the developments of the Summer of Love as opening the way to greater liberation.”

“Lavender-Tinted Glasses” tells this story by highlighting the roles of four queers in the making of the Summer of Love: gay poet Allen Ginsberg, gay filmmaker Kenneth Anger, bisexual philosopher Gavin Arthur and bisexual rock star Janis Joplin. All of them brought their perspectives as artists, visionaries and sexual outsiders to the uprising; all made a lasting impact on American culture. In addition, the exhibition documents the ways San Francisco’s homophile community responded.”

Located in the city’s Castro Distict “Gayborhood” “Lavender-Tinted Glasses: A Groovy, Gay Look at the Summer of Love” runs through September 17.

The exhibit is curated by Joey Cain, a San Francisco-based community activist, researcher and historian who served for 8 on the board of directors of the San Francisco LGBT Pride Parade and Celebration Committee.

Photo: Daniel Nicoletta

Whatever your sexual orientations is, check out San Francisco’s queer history at the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Museum. The fascinating museum features constantly changing exhibits and is a fun museum trip for anyone interested in the history of sexuality. The main gallery displays focus on facets of San Francisco queer life from the Gold Rush to today.

Ongoing exhibitions include the life of San Francisco luminaries such as Harvey Milk, who was assassinated for being gay. Another exhibit charts the interesting history of lesbians called “Lesbians of the Ladder,” which explores the publications that brought them together, along with an exploration of secret lesbian bars. Dating back to the 1930’s, they were called “female social clubs” at the time, a respite from the “virulently homophobic society” of the era.

An emotional exhibit visits the history of the HIV epidemic, and “The Gayborhood” exhibit visits the clubs, bars, bathhouses, and restaurants of the queer community in The Tenderloin District, The North Beach neighborhood, and the Valencia Street Corridor. The museum features cocktail receptions and talks including “How the sexual revolution remade San Francisco.”

Put A Ring On It: How To Get A Perfect Fit On His Penis

Cock rings are a favorite gay boy’s sex toy, but most straight women have no idea how these things work. Where do we begin?

Since I don’t have a penis, I asked Steve Callow, founder of Arousal Rings brand, Perfect Fit, what’s up with the new penis rings down there.

“We made the Play Zone Kit so it can be fun for a couple to experiment,” he says. The cock ring, now called an “arousal ring“, can be used in many ways on a guy’s junk. “How a ring is worn depends on the ring size, your equipment and the desired effect,” he says. The silicone ring is made in 14 sizes. We define Arousal Rings as a category containing three basic types of rings: The two most common ways to wear a ring is on the shaft, often called “penis rings” and then the other is around the base of the penis and scrotum (yup it goes under the scrotum and around everything), we often call these “cock rings.”

“Another way to wear a ring that’s fun, but doesn’t aid in maintaining an erection, is a ball ring,” he says. “A ball ring goes on the scrotum between the penis and the testicles. It shouldn’t be too tight it simply keeps the testicles from pulling into the body during sex. This feeling of having the testicles held low can turn a lot of men on.”

Low hangers. Who knew?

So how do we get started? Penis ring toss anyone? “To find your perfect ring or combo this may help,” Callow says.” I recently saw a review of the product where a couple played ring toss with the Play Zone Kit, I thought this was brilliant. The wife would throw arousal rings onto the “orange cone”, which comes with it, and whichever ring she got on she would have to see if and where it may fit.” 

“For sexual distraction (SD), I think an arousal ring may be the best choice,” he says. “Wearing an arousal ring is going be more adaptable to your varying stages of excitement. It will not require a partial erection to get it on, which a penis ring (shaft only) will require. A cock ring (encompassing both shaft and scrotum) is easy to put on. But it may require a bit of practice the first few times. Our rings are made so they won’t stretch when you are wearing them, but they will stretch with your hands so you can pull it over the penis and scrotum. Once on it shouldn’t be binding or strangling the base.” (Good to know these things won’t strangle someone’s boys.) 

Here’s how you get the perfect fit: As an erection grows it will tighten. You have more room for sizing mistakes with a cock ring than a penis ring. If the erection is uncomfortable then the ring is too small. You can stretch it with your hands to relieve tightness, and when your erection subsides, you can pull it off. Obviously, it is best to start with a ring that is too big. You can always measure the circumference of the fitting area under the scrotum and around the erection by using a piece of string and then measuring it. (The company is in the process of making a YouTube video.) And a conversion table on their packaging and website helps determine what size ring to use when measuring circumference, (previously known as “mini willy,” “medium chub”, and “Jesus Christ, you have a big dick.”)

And finally, why should more couples bring arousal rings into the bedroom? “The exploration of a partner’s equipment is very exciting and intimate for many men,” says Callow. “Your man will see that his ability to get a hardon is now rewarded with a super hard erection and staying power. This is a great confidence builder for any man.”

Find the perfect fit, whether your/his penis is small, medium, or “donkey”.