Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Authors Posts by Anka Radakovich

Anka Radakovich

564 POSTS 0 COMMENTS
Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Sex Educator, Sexologist, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. http://www.amazon.com/The-Wild-Girls-Club-Part/dp/0990462129 THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. She lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad. @ankarad www.ankagirl.com

Harvard Sex Study Says Young Women Feel Degraded And Sexually Harassed

It’s a myth that young women 18-25 are hooking up like crazy, says a new Harvard Study.

The new report, called “The Talk: How Adults Can Promote Young People’s Healthy Relationships and Prevent Misogyny and Sexual Harassment”, found that girls are so turned off by disrespectful behavior from boys that they don’t want to hook up!

“Making caring common” is a brilliant project of the Harvard Graduate School of Education that methodically interviewed over 3,000 high school and college students about their sexual experiences.

“Parents and other adults often fret a great deal about the “hook-up culture,” says the study, “But that focus ignores two far more pervasive troubles related to young people’s romantic and sexual experiences. The first is that we as a society are failing to prepare young people for perhaps the most important thing they will do in life—learn how to love and develop caring, healthy romantic relationships. Second, most adults appear to be doing shockingly little to prevent or effectively address pervasive misogyny and sexual harassment among teens and young adults—problems that can infect both romantic relationships and many other areas of young people’s lives.”

The key findings are:

–“Teens and adults tend to greatly overestimate the size of the “hook-up culture” and these misconceptions can be detrimental to young people.” (“This overestimation can make many teens and young adults feel embarrassed or ashamed because they believe that they are not adhering to the norms of their peers. It can also pressure them to engage in sex when they are not interested or ready.”)

— “Large numbers of teens and young adults are unprepared for caring, lasting romantic relationships and are anxious about developing them.” So what exactly do 18-25 year-olds want to know? (Specifically “how to have a more mature relationship” (38%), “how to deal with breakups”(36%), “how to avoid getting hurt in a relationship” (34%), and “how to begin a relationship” (27%). 65% of respondents to our survey of 18 to 25-year-olds wished that they had received guidance on some emotional aspect of romantic relationships in a health or sex education class at school.”)

We are in desperate need of sex education in this country.

–“Misogyny and sexual harassment appear to be pervasive among young people and certain forms of gender based degradation may be increasing, yet a significant majority of parents do not appear to be talking about it.”

(“87% percent of women reported having experienced at least one of the following during their lifetime: being catcalled (55%), touched without permission by a stranger (41%), insulted with sexualized words (e.g., slut, bitch, ho) by a man (47%), insulted with sexualized words by a woman (42%), having a stranger say something sexual to them (52%), and having a stranger tell them they were “hot” (61%). Yet 76% of respondents to this survey had never had a conversation with their parents about how to avoid sexually harassing others”).

–“Many young people don’t see certain types of gender-based degradation and subordination as problems in our society.”

(“About 58% of respondents had never had a conversation with their parents about the importance of “being a caring and respectful sexual partner.”)

–“Research shows that rates of sexual assault among young people are high. But our research suggests that a majority of parents and educators aren’t discussing with young people basic issues related to consent.”

(“Most of the respondents to our survey of 18 to 25-year-olds had never spoken with their parents about “being sure your partner wants to have sex and is comfortable doing so before having sex”(61%), assuring your “own comfort before engaging in sex” (49%), the “importance of not pressuring someone to have sex with you”(56%), the “importance of not continuing to ask someone to have sex after they have said no” (62%), or the “importance of not having sex with someone who is too intoxicated or impaired to make a decision about sex” (57%).”

THE GOOD NEWS

This awesome study has brought awareness to these sexual issues, and the study’s authors have made some recommendations going forward. The study concluded that “A high percentage of people 18-25 want guidance.” Specifically they say that adults should answer these questions from their kids: “What’s the difference between attraction, infatuation, and love? How can we be more attracted to people the less interested they are in us? Why can we be attracted to people who are unhealthy for us? How do you know if you’re “in love?” Why and how can romantic relationships become deeply meaningful and gratifying? How do they contribute to our lives?”

Also, they recommend that parents of young men “engage in discussions about romantic and sexual relationships, misogyny and harassment, and address ethical questions about their obligation to treat others with respect.”

Instead of encouraging the “destructive” nature of the hook up culture, where “the bros over ho’s” mentality is rampant, the study says, “the recommendation is that we all focus on treating each other with mutual respect.”

The study concludes with the hope that everyone will continue “The Talk.”

“We all need to talk more about romantic love.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To “Wipe Out” Premature Ejaculation In Minutes!

One of the most common sex problems sex therapists (and urologists) hear from couples is premature ejaculation. But the problem is so easily solvable! A quick solution to the “quick finish” has been formulated by Dr. Harry Fisch, a urologist in New York City.

Dr. Fisch’s product can add a whole 5 minutes to an “early finisher.” Hey, that’s something! Every minute counts!

This week Veru Healthcare announced “positive results from a Phase 4 clinical study of its proprietary product PREBOOST (topical 4% benzocaine wipes) for the management of premature ejaculation (PE).” After 2 months, they say “men treated with Preboost had an average prolongation of time to ejaculation of 5 minutes. Data showed that PREBOOST wipes statistically and significantly improved both objective and subjective symptoms of PE when compared to placebo wipes.” (The wipes temporarily numb the dong so the thing is less sensitive.)

“Premature ejaculation or PE is the most common sexual dysfunction, affecting one in four men, yet we have limited options that really help men manage it,” said study investigator and presenter Ridwan Shabsigh, MD, Professor of Clinical Urology at Weill-Cornell Medical School, New York. “These data represent the first ever placebo-controlled clinical study of medicines available in this class of products. This Phase 4 clinical study shows that over-the-counter PREBOOST benzocaine wipes allow men to delay ejaculation on average five minutes longer, which is exciting considering the negative impact PE can have on men and on their relationships.”

The wipes, available in single packs that men can pop into their pocket, can help guys gain control over their dreaded “two minute finish.” (We also recommend slowing everything down and going down on the woman first.)

The study revealed that “After treatment with PREBOOST, 82 percent of men were no longer considered to have PE while being treated and reported a statistically significant better sense of ejaculation control, confidence, satisfaction, sexual pleasure, increased length of intercourse and reduced frustration. Treatment was well tolerated and no transference of product was reported.” (We recommend using condoms to keep the stuff from getting on the lady’s stuff.)

“We’re excited about these clinical data and what our product can do for men who have really had no options and desire a simple solution to PE,” said Mitchell Steiner, MD, President and Chief Executive Officer, Veru Healthcare. “These Phase 4 data represent the first clinical study ever to show clinical data of an OTC product for the management of premature ejaculation.”

The product was created by practicing urologist Harry Fisch, MD, largely in response to a need he saw with his patients. Premature ejaculation is so out of control that Dr. Fisch had to do something to control it.

The study enrolled 26 men aged 18 years or older in a heterosexual, monogamous relationship, with PE, defined as “reported poor control over ejaculation, personal distress related to ejaculation. Subjects were randomized 2:1 to treatment with benzocaine wipes or placebo wipes. Data showed that patients treated with benzocaine 4% wipes demonstrated a statistically significant improvement after the first month of treatment (2.75 minutes), with greater improvement after the second month (5.5 minutes), compared to placebo (1.8 minutes). Men in the treatment group also reported greater improvement in distress relating to intercourse, control of ejaculation and satisfaction with sexual intercourse over the study period.”

According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM), “Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common sexual dysfunction in men, even more common than erectile dysfunction.” Let’s hope the wipes wipe PE away.

Dating Definitions Part 2: Breadcrumbing

Last week we wrote about the digital dating trends benching and cushioning, where people put potential dates “on hold” until they ready to date them. Or not date them. This week’s dating trend is “breadcrumbing,” described by urbandictionary as “the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (i.e. “breadcrumbs”) in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.”

The idea is to give someone just enough attention to keep their hope of a potential “relationship” alive. It’s basically stringing someone along with a “digital tease” whether they are interested in a relationship with you or not. Also known as “Hansel and Gretelling”, where the fairy tale characters used a trail of breadcrumbs so someone would know where they were and rescue them, the modern day dater texts people but never sets up a time to get together.
Why do people breadcrumb? Because they are lazy or bored at work and want to flirt without too much effort. Or because they don’t want to be too committal because they’re already committed. Or perhaps because they’re married and just like to flirt.
We have all breadcrumbed someone, perhaps not even realizing it. But the problem with being the breadcrumbie is that our time is wasted and we are left frustrated. Women often ask “Just why don’t you properly try to date or court me?” Because the breadcrumber doesn’t have time to date all the people he/she is breadcrumbing.
Breadcruming is sending you a twitter DM once in awhile, an Instagram like, or an email, just to keep you interested in them. Breadcurming can happen after someone broke up with you but still wants to stay in touch and tell you how fabulous you are (after it’s too late.) Or breadcrumbing can occur when someone just sends you quickie flirtatations–breadcrumbs, but has no real intentions of ever dating you.
It is also used in online dating when you are put “on the rotation” while the other person swipes and breadcrumbs a bunch of other people on Tinder and then gets back to you. There has to be a better way. Tinder and other dating apps have a tendency to make everyone disposable. Too many perceived choices = breadcrumbing.
So what is the solution to this? Get off the Junior High dating apps, get out more and meet people in the flesh. The people doing the real dating are going out and meeting people in person–and getting their loaf stroked, or their bagel licked.

A New Way For Menopausal Women To Get Pregnant!

Scientists in Athens, Greece have figured out a new way for menopausal women to get pregnant. And even better, they can get preggers using their own eggs. For the first time, two women who thought they couldn’t get pregnant got pregnant. The technique used is PRP or “platelet-rich plasma” that rejuvenate ovaries, the New Scientist reports.

“I gave up hope on trying to get pregnant,” one of the women said, who is now six months pregnant. “To me, it’s a miracle.”

Dr. Kostantinos Sfakianoudis of the Genesis Athens fertility clinic based in Athens, Greece, directly injected blood plasma into the uterus and ovaries to achieve the results. The hope is that further studies can result in further pregnancies.

The technique is used to speed the healing of sports injuries as well as “vampire face lifts.” Blood is drawn from the patient and spun in a centrifuge to isolate the plasma.

“The clinic is attempting to use this plasma to rejuevenate women’s reproductive systems, injecting it directly into the ovaries and uterus. So far, the team has given this experimental treatment to more than 180 women, many of whom sought treatment because they have a disorder that damages the lining of the uterus,” says New Scientist.

“We’ve had people come from as far as Mongolia,” says Sfakianoudis. While most want to get pregnant, some of these women just wanted to stop the symptoms of menopause, which can include hot flushes, night sweats and thinning hair.”

Sfakianoudis says that it doesn’t work for everyone, but so far, two women have managed to get pregnant, giving women whose biological clocks have run out more time to have a baby.

As an alternative to IVF treatment, the stimulation of the ovaries with this technique prompt the ovaries to release eggs. The embryo is fertilized then implanted into the uterus. The technique has further open a woman’s “fertility window” past the “cut off” age of healthy pregnancies free of miscarriages, often cited as age 35.

“If it works, says New Scientist, the treatment could be used to enable older women to get pregnant. The menopause usually occurs around the age of 50, But he says that it is not his place to judge how old is too old for a woman to start a family. “Some people might not meet their partners until later in life,” Sfakianoudis says. “If there is a treatment that will help them, then why not use it?”

What is “Cushioning?” New Dating Definitions

Ah, dating, could it get any more ridiculous? In the name of empowered dating, we rounded up a few dating trends that most people didn’t even know were trends. Our advice: if you don’t buy into them, you don’t have to deal with them. We say: create your own dating rules instead of following someone else’s.

For singles out there, it seems like everyone is playing dating games. Dating apps and sites have created a more casual, (and confusing) environment for everyone involved. First there was “ghosting” where you meet someone online then they disappear, then there was “haunting,” where someone breaks up with you but then creeps your Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, occasionally liking your posts. Empower your dating life by ignoring the ghosters and haunters and moving on! (We also recommend actually meeting people the old fashioned way: in person.)

“Cushioning” on the other hand, is something we don’t have a problem with. In the beginning stages of dating where you are non-exclusive, it actually makes sense to keep your dating options open. It’s a dating technique that may prevent you from getting hurt. (“Cushioning” may explain the “ghosting” phenomena.  This is when the someone you are chatting and flirting chickens out right before meeting up because they are already dating someone else–or are married!) Just another reason not to give your heart too quickly to someone you’ve just met.

According to urbandictionary, the “top definition” for cushioning is “A dating technique where along with your main piece you also have several ‘cushions’, other people you’ll chat and flirt with to cushion the potential blow of your main break-up and not leave you alone.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s going that well with Dave. Luckily I’ve been cushioning him with Pablo and Gary.”
“Benching” is a cousin to cushioning. According to our favorite dictionary Urbandictionary, “Benching” is “when you start dating someone you think is nice and has potential, but you’re not crazy about them. You don’t know whether to keep dating them, or dump them and move on to the next one. This is where benching happens; instead of going for either of the above polarized options, you put your date in your mental ‘maybe’ folder and ‘bench them’ so you date around to see what else is out there.”
Sarah: How’s your dating life going, Jill, weren’t you seeing that guy Jack?
Jill: Yeah I am, sort of. He’s just ok, so I’ve been benching him and dating around more.

John: Hey Jack, how are things going with that girl Jill you’re dating?
Jack: Idk man, I know she’s seeing other guys, and I think I’ve been benched.

No great relationship ever came from being “benched.” A waste of your precious singleton dating time. If you think you’re being benched, get off the bench. When the spark is there, you can’t wait to see the person again. You’ll know its working when all you both want to do is sit on a bench together.

University Of Ca/Davis Installs Morning After Pill Vending Machine

Here’s a great idea that every university should learn from: a vending machine that dispenses condoms and morning after pills! Since recent studies have shown that over half of college students report having sex with new partners with NO condom, the safe sex vending machines might attract more customers than junk food machines!

Available over the counter since 2013, the Plan B pills will keep those pesky hook-up sperm from entering your temple of love. The pill is most effective when used 24-48 hours after doing the deed, but is still effective up to five days afterwards, with diminished effectiveness each day. The biggest side-effect is nausea, and the pill is a bit pricey; $50 (also available at Walgreens and Target), but a small price to pay for not having to be preggers for nine months when you hadn’t planned on it.

According to KTXL news in Davis, Ca, the “Wellness To Go” machine was installed in a campus activities study room. In addition to Plan B, it offers condoms, tampons, Azo, Advil, and pregnancy tests for anyone freaking out about having condomless sex.

“The vending machine is a result of two years work by former UC Davis student Parteek Singh. “The more skeptical and negativity I got from other people like ‘oh it’s not gonna happen,’ kind of pushed me more,” Singh said.

Under the Obama Administration in 2013, Plan B became available to women of all ages without a prescription.

The vending machine has caused a bit of controversy on campus, but the safe sex discussion is needed more than anything.

“It is promoting like oh hey, go and have unsafe sex because then you have a backup option and its gonna be cheaper,” UC Davis student Jordan Herrera told KTXL news.

Other students have no problem with it. “It’s a great thing for women,” KC Cui said.

UC Davis is one of four campuses nationwide to have the “emergency contraception machine.”

Vending machines dispensing condoms, sex toys, and even sex dolls first appeared on Japanese streets but never caught on in the U.S. At the Rio Olympics, 450,000 condoms were made and distributed via vending machines (for a little “pole vaulting.”)

Recently, Lifestyles Condoms erected a condom machine at San Francisco State. The condoms are free, but students must first answer 5 questions about sexual health to get a free one. Their campaign is called “Smart = Sexy.”

“I feel like every college should have this,” says Singh.

 

Victorian Era Vibrator Creates Buzz At Irish Auction

An antique vibrator from the Victorian era has created a buzz at an auction in Ireland. The auction house describes lot 475 as an “Antique Carved Ivory Ladies Companion in Scarlet Lined Leather Upholstered Carry Box with Inset Bevelled Glass” is estimated at 500-800 British Pounds or 640-$1,020.

The auction house, which specializes in estate sales, lists interesting items online from their upcoming live auctions. Auctioneer Damien Matthews told the Irish Times. “It is a beautiful piece, a great rarity. I’ve been at this 25 years and I’ve never seen anything like it. You do get the Victorian era massagers every so often that come up for auction, but nothing like this.”

“You’ve got to remember in Victorian times, the amount of people that could afford to indulge or create something like this was tiny. Ninety-nine percent of the country were trying to get by, so there were perhaps 400 or 500 families in the country with those kind of means. It’s not just a piece of erotica – it’s a work of art, and a fascinating piece of social history,” he said.

In the (sexually uptight) Victorian era, when a woman complained of menstrual cramps or not being able to have an orgasm, she was given a “hysterical paroxysm” by a doctor, which is what they called orgasms back then.

The auctioneer noted the history of the item with “A family member found it in a drawer, and he put it in the auction for fun really. We believe the ivory dates back to the 1840’s. This fellow, the original owner, was in India in the 1840’s, where he shot himself an elephant, and brought the tusk home.” (Hunting for ivory is now illegal.) The owner fought in the Boxer Rebellion in China (1899-1901) where it is thought he had it carved.

“The Chinese were famous for carving ivory, and the quality of carving is so good, I think that is where he would have had it done. He would not have known that he was coming home, and would have wanted his wife to have this,” Matthews speculated.

“This was a very enlightened family for the time, Matthews said, “and this would have been a very loving gift from a husband to wife. You can see that because the level of detail is incredible, down to the folds of the skin. There’s a heart carved at the base of it, where her finger would have been, and a receptacle in which she could keep a lock of his hair.”

Although the sex toy was carved in China, the box was made in Ireland. “The leather box is Irish,” says Matthews. “She would have got the box carved for it – there’s a stamp on the lock with the name of an Irish locksmith.”

The lady of the house lived in a “historic Georgian country house on 17.5 acres complete with fine cut-limestone out buildings and lofted stable yard, adjoining two acre walled garden, hard tennis court and good river frontage of over 450 meters. Set amongst picturesque rolling Meath countryside this house is less than one hour from Dublin.”

Photo: Matthews Auction Rooms

Calvin Klein’s New Underwear Ads Are Sexy Without Trying

Filmed in black and white with Coppola’s lovely, natural aesthetic, the ads feature “real” girls with real bodies rolling around in their undies, along with the celebrities.

Rashida Jones tells the self-deprecating story of how she and a friend drove to a movie set in the English country side to “stalk” a British movie star. (She left her number on his trailer but he never called.) And we love the eternally beautiful and fabulous 73-year-old Lauren Hutton who appears in an open shirt and bra. She confesses to getting picked up by a guy with “beautiful blue eyes” in a pick-up truck in Manhattan, telling him she’ll only accept the ride “for one block.”

The fashion house says Hutton was hand-picked for the campaign by Coppola, who said she was inspired by “The old Avedon commercials with Andie MacDowell, the ’90s images of Kate Moss … I feel like those images made a big impression on me in my formative years.”

Using Condoms Makes Your Vag Healthier

A new study says that using a condom drastically reduces a woman’s risk of bacterial vaginosis (BV), also known as “What’s that smell down there?”

The study was conducted by Lenka Vodstrcil, a professor at University of Liverpool who specializes in clinical epidemiological research. The focus of her research has been the prevention and treatment of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STI), and research on the cervicovaginal microbiome and immunology.

The research team tracked the bacteria living in 52 women’s vaginas for a year. Each woman wast told to swab her vagina every three months and keep a record of any sexual activities. They were also asked to note if a condom was used during the ‘ol in and out.

The findings? The study Dr. Vodstrcil conducted at Melbourne’s Monash University showed sex without a condom significantly drives up levels of two dangerous bacteria: Gardnerella vaginalis and Lactobacillus iners. It also found that women who had unprotected sex with new partners had higher concentrations of the bacteria than women in long-term relationships.

Vaginas have five different strains of bacteria, with Lactobacillus being the most dominant. Sexual health researchers say that vaginas are healthiest when dominated by the L. crispatus strain.

The study also noted that the more people used condoms, the less urinary tract infections they had; another reason to get your guy, if you have one, to wear a condom! It also showed that women with high levels of L.crispatus have a lower risk of all infections; including HIV and yeast infections. The bacteria has also been linked to an increased risk of developing pelvic inflammatory disease.

The “little lady down there” can be thrown off at any time; especially from semen or menstruation, which reduce the number of “good bacteria” Lactobacillus, allowing the BV causing bacteria to take over. Dr. Wijgert noted that condom-less sex with a new partner is a “microbial assault on the vagina.”

But sex isn’t necessarily always bad for the vagina. Van de Wijgert thinks that a woman’s vaginal microbiome adapts to the bacteria present on her long-term partner’s penis. With a new partner she says “The vagina will mount an immune response against the bacteria, causing inflammation.”

Since its your vagina, there really should be no argument about whether he wants to wear a condom or not. Cutting down on urinary infections should be reason enough. So next time a man tries to talk you into having sex without a condom, tell him you’re trying to keep your “Lactobacillus in check”, and your vajajay healthy and cute.

Caitlyn Jenner Gets Sexual Reassignment Surgery

Caitlyn Jenner has finally done it; she has cut off her manhood to become the woman she always wanted to be, but couldn’t. In her new upcoming book Secrets of My Life she says, “The surgery was a success and I feel liberated.” The book will be released April 25th.

According to her publisher, “In THE SECRETS OF MY LIFE, Caitlyn reflects on the inner conflict she experienced growing up in an era of rigidly defined gender identities, and the cruel irony of being hailed by an entire nation as the ultimate symbol of manhood.”

Formerly known as getting a “sex change,” the procedure is now called “Sexual Reassignment Surgery” or SRS. People who have completed SRS are sometimes referred to as transsexed. The term transsexed is not to be confused with the term transgender or transsexual, which may also refer to people who have not undergone SRS, yet whose anatomical sex may not match their psychological sense of personal gender identity. Confusing? If you think your sex life is confusing, try being transgender or transsexual. We applaud her courage.

So what actually goes down down there during sexual reassignment surgery? First, the penis is removed. For trans women, genital reconstruction usually involves the surgical construction of a vagina, by means of “penile inversion,” which is using some of the penile tissue to construct the new vag.

According to Brownstein and Crane surgical services, “In penile inversion vaginoplasty, the testicles are removed (orchiectomy) and the scrotal skin is used to make labia majora (labiaplasty). The nerves to the the sensitive glans penis and the corresponding skin is preserved and used to make a clitoris. The skin of the penis and, in most cases, skin grafts from the scrotum are used to make a vaginal “vault.” The urethra is shortened and placed in the female position.  Sensitive urethral mucosa is placed in between the labia minora.”

“Penile inversion vaginoplasty is typically a one stage procedure, they say, however, occasionally secondary procedures are preferred to maximize the aesthetic appearance of the vulva.” And the big question everyone wants to know is can you have an orgasm afterwards? One woman who went through the operation told Vogue “As a woman it’s hard to reach that point,” which is a bit sad. But Jenner says in her book that she is now truly happy and writes “I was tired of tucking the damn thing in all the time.”

“I am going to have an enthusiasm for life that I have not had in 39 years since the Olympics, almost two thirds of my life,” she says. Plus, she got $4 million for the book deal, which is a good deal.

Jenner's memoir hits bookshelves on April 25