Sunday, July 22, 2018
Authors Posts by Anka Radakovich

Anka Radakovich

Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Sex Educator, Sexologist, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ and a writer for COSMOPOLITAN Magazine. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. She lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad. @ankarad

What Do Women And Men Really Want In Bed?

If you could name the 5 things you wanted your lover to do more in bed what would they be?

A sex survey from Body Logic Md asked the very question to 1008 men and women aged 18-89, with an average age of 36. The study had people “weigh in on the physical appearance and sexual habits of their significant others.” From the preferred shape of women’s boobs and the shape of dude’s dongs, to the top 5 wants in the bedroom, the survey found out what people really thought about their boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses.

First, the important stuff:

Here are the top 5 sexual things mean and women want from their lover:

1.) BOTH men and women wanted more foreplay. It seems like people never got the memo on that one. Everyone gets so excited that they “stick it in” way too fast. Slo mo is the way to go.


1.) More foreplay

2.) New Positions

3.) Use of toys

4.) More sex in general

5.) More oral sex


1.) More foreplay

2.) Anal sex

3.) Threesome/group sex

4.) More oral sex

5.) New positions

So there ya have it; while women want more sex, men want more sex with more people.

The study also asked a couple of superficial questions, like what boob shape do people prefer, and what penis shape do people like the best. The general consensus was the bigger the better, with people weighing in on specific preferences. Its not like most people can change the exact configuration of their body parts, even with plastic surgery, but here it goes…

When it comes to the shape of a man’s Johnson, the four categories were “The Bender”, (curved upwards), 40%, “The Curve” (straight with a slight curve), 36%, “Big Head” (more “headroom’), 16%, and “Big Shaft” (a “chubbie”.)  Personally, I’m just happy to see one.

As far as the shape of boobies was concerned, 25% said they liked the shape of them to be “full on top”, 18% said “full on bottom, 12% said “wide apart,” and 7% said “round.” 6% said “close together”, 6% said “high on chest,” 5% said “wide apart,” 4% said “pointy,” and 3% said “big areolas.” Maybe we should spend more time on what to do with them instead of how they look. is a network of physician-owned practices specializing in bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. BodyLogicMD’s medically-supervised treatment plans are designed for men and women suffering from hormonal imbalance and conditions of aging, such as menopause and andropause. The company strives to help people keep those curved boners up for life.


At What Age Do People Have The “Happiest” Sex Of Their Lives?

Happify, a website and app that offers “science-based activities and games to improve emotional well-being”, has gathered a bunch of statistics on what makes people the happiest in bed. In their latest, “Everything you need to know about sex and happiness” findings, they have reported at what age people say they have the “best” sex. At what age do people feel they have the “happiest” sex life?

Happify specializes in “positive psychology” and the “science of happiness”, which they say can change your life and make it happier! While women reported having “the best sex of their lives” at age 26, men said it was 32. But most revealing were the older and wiser peeps in their 50’s and 60’s who looked back said they had the best said at age 46. And a recent AARP study reported that people had the “best sex” in their 50’s. At that age, you not only know what you like and don’t like, but you (hopefully) know what you’re doing down there.

So how do you be happier in the bedroom? According to Happify;

1.) “Tell your partner what you like and couch it in positive terms”. (Be kind; you don’t want to put someone’s lights out.)

2.) “Change up the routine. Have sex in a new place, or a new time.” (On the tennis court anyone?)

3.) “Spend time snuggling and kissing.” (Contrary to popular belief, many men are huggers.)

4.) “Write your partner love notes. Intimacy is the goal, not necessarily intercourse.” (If you’re texting a man, text him something like “I can’t wait until you get home so I can do stuff to you.” Works every time.) If you’re texting a woman, tell her you can’t wait to get home and kiss her. It builds up romance and anticipation, something we can all use more of.

5.) “Have sex or self-pleasure regularly.” One study says that married couples need to have sex at least once a week to maintain happiness. And to the self pleasure seekers out there; go for it. The more pleasure you have, even if its with yourself, the happier you will be.

And finally, can we really train ourselves to become happier? The science says yes. According to Happify, “You have the power to take control of your happiness by choosing your thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Recent research into the types of exercises, designed to promote positive emotional qualities, such as kindness and mindfulness, suggests that such qualities may be the product of skills we can learn through training–in the way that practice improves our musical or athletic abilities. Over time, we can build lasting habits that increase our resilience and improve our happiness levels.”

PornHub Announces Its First Pulsating Porn Awards

The first ever Pornhub Awards will debut in Los Angeles on September 6th. Pornhub is the porn clip site that makes millions because billions of people too cheap to pay for porn watch it there for free. The show will hand out over 60 awards to the porn stars, videos, and porn studios who received the most attention from porn fans. Pornhub data shows that the site has attracted an incredible, and massive number of views. Not millions but billions. Now you know what the world’s biggest “hobby” is.

The awards is an equal opportunity awards giver in regards to sexually objectifying people, so its all good. Categories include “Best Dick,” “Nicest Pussy,” “Hottest Male Ass,” “Hottest Female Ass”, and “Nicest Tits” (Can we come up with a cuter, more female friendly word for those please?). Like “sweater puppies”, “funbags”, or just “boobies”?

The ceremony will be hosted by Asa Akira at the Belasco Hotel in Los Angeles. It will also be broadcast live on According to a company press release “Pornhub is proud to celebrate sexual diversity and acceptance with its inclusive nominee list.” Vice Industry Token (VIT) will award $30,000 worth of prize cryptocurrency at the event. Fun categories that may not be seen at most porn awards include “Best Porn Twitter” and “Funniest Performer”.

The awards are titled this year like “Three’s Company”–“Top Threesome Performer”. (We assume all three people get to pick up the award?) and “The More The Merrier”–“Top Gang Bang Performer.” Again, does the whole gang get to take home the award? And there is a “Full Mast” award for the “Top Big Dick Performer” — someone with a monster dick who defies the “industry standard.”

“All At The Same Damn Time” is the award for “Top DP Performer,” and “Up Close And Personal” is the award for “Top POV Performer”, who was all ready for their close-up. There is even an award for the masturbator who came up with the best “Top comment on Pornhub.”

Here are some of the other categories:

Get Your Freak On—Top Fetish Performer

Back Door Beauty—Top Anal Performer

Blowjob Queen—Top Blowjob Performer

Girl Who Like Girls—Top Lesbian Performer

All by Herself—Top Female Solo Performer

Hot for Himself—Top Male Solo Performer

Mrs. Dressup—Top Cosplay Performer

Realer Than Reality—Top VR Performer

Splash Zone—Top Squirting Performer

Highly Experienced—Top MILF performer

Natural Beauty—Top Big Tits Performer

M4M—Top Gay Performer

Blowjob King—Top Gay Blowjob Performer

Tantalizing Twinkie—Top Twink Performer

Glorious Grizzly—Top Bear Performer

The Whole Squad—Top Gay Group Performer

Badass, Big and Beautiful—Top BBW Performer

Most Popular Female Pornstar

Most Popular Male Pornstar

Most Popular Trans Pornstar

Most Popular Female Pornstar by Women

Most Popular Male Pornstar by Women

Most Popular Verified Amateur

Most Popular Verified Professional Model

Most Popular Verified Couple

There are also nominations for “channels”, including “Most Popular Parody Channel,” “Most Popular Reality Channel,” “Most Popular Gay Channel,” Most Popular Gay Channel,” “Most Popular Trans Channel,” and the old fashioned “Most Popular MILF Channel.” Damn, people  watch a lot of pornos. So much porn, so little time. Pornhub itself has revealed that many people watch porn during the day when they are at work. No wonder people aren’t getting any work done.











Outfest’s Outrageously Fabulous LGBT Film Festival

This week and next in Los Angeles, Outfest’s LGBT festival has something for everyone; whether you’re gay, straight, or anything in-between. Or beyond. The offerings range from shorts to docs to full length features.

Mapplethorpe is a documentary on legendary photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, whose 1970’s and 80’s photographs of artists, musicians, celebrities, socialites, and the underground BDSM scene now sell for millions. The film was acquired two days ago by Samuel Goldwyn Films, headed by Peter Goldwyn, grandson of MGM’s Samuel Goldwyn Sr. Mapplethorpe died of AIDS in 1989.

From Mapplethorpe, photo courtesy of the Tribeca Film Festival. Mapplethorpe’s controversial gallery show, funded by the National Endowment for The Arts, was cancelled after people were shocked by some of the imagery, including a pic of a bullwhip doing its BDSM thing.

Studio 54, a documentary about Steve Rubell, (who was gay), and Ian Schrager, (who was straight), is part of a “double feature” at the fest directed by Matt Tyrnauer. The infamous disco with the famous door policy, (you only got in if you looked fabulous) was so fabulous and made so much money that the two stuffed bags of bills into the club’s ceiling.

Another fascinating documentary at the fest, also directed by Tyrnauer, is called Scotty and The Secret History of Hollywood, a film about WWII vet and bartender Scotty Bowers, who was called “the pimp of Hollywood.” And proudly so. He unapologetically “arranged dates” for movie stars including Gary Grant and Rock Hudson, who were too big in Hollywood to publicly come out of the closet. At the time you could actually be arrested for being gay. “I felt good that I made so many people happy,” he says. Check out the trailer here.


Long-lost high school BFFs, Pete (Brendan Scannell), a recently out gay man, and Tiff (Zoe Levin), a grad student, hope to pick up right where they left off. But Tiff has a secret: she’s one of NYC’s top dominatrixes, and she’s about to tie Pete up in her underground world of sexual secrecy and BDSM. The dramedy series is loosely based on the life experiences of Rightor Doyle (HBO’s “Barry,” FX’s “You’re the Worst”), who wrote, directed, and executive produced the series.

The synopsis of Daddy Issues goes like this:

“Maya, a 19 year old queer pixie, gets romantically involved with her sexually fluid insta-crush and unknowingly becomes part of a twisted love triangle.”

The festival runs from July 12-20th.

How To Ask For What You Want In Bed

One of the positive after effects of the #MeToo movement was the realization that women deserve the same amount of sexual pleasure as men get. But how do you ask for what you want? Here’s how to do it before you start doing it.

1) First, figure out what does it for you before you ask someone to do you.

Before you ask for what you want, you have to know what you like. And also what you don’t like. Do you love having your nipples rubbed, for instance, or do you hate that? Do you like having your ears licked, or does that completely turn you off? Make a list of what you really crave or would like to try with your partner. He/she may not want to do everything you want to do (like have public group sex in the “Orgy Tent” at Burning Man), but any partner worth having will want to please you.

2) Start talking about what you like and want earlier in the relationship.

If you are having first time sex with someone or the sexual relationship is very new, def bring up what you like. And feel free to mention your ex, as an excuse to bring it up. As in, “I went out with my last boyfriend for three months and he never went down on me. Can you believe? I love the mound munching.” Don’t drop hints, however; be straight up and tell your partner exactly what you want to happen downtown.

3) If you’re already in a relationship, its never too late to speak up.

Sex therapists hear it all the time; couples in long term relationships say they think its too late to try something different with their spouse. Not true. Shake it up. Long term relationships need constant sexual variety or they will get boring. If you suddenly want to try watching porn together for the first time, cue it up to a porn parody, (like The DaVinci Load). If you want to dress him up in a Batman costume and you want to go as Catwoman, shop for Halloween early and go to a costume store together.  If you’re lucky, you might catch him walking around the house again in his Batman tights.

4) Sometimes you just have to show and not tell.

One of the best ways to show someone what you like is to not say a thing and guide their hand to what you want touched. Works every time. Pointing is also effective.

5.) Have no shame and you’ll gain.

It’s a little too late to be self-conscious about your desires. It’s supposed to be be fun.

Illustration: Wikipedia Commons


Sexy Rihanna Debuts Line of Sexy “Xcessories”

Sexy singer Rihanna has debuted a line of sexy “Xcessories” after introducing her lingerie line month ago. The line, called Savage Xcessories, encourages us all to “kink it up a notch.” The marabou handcuffs, $42.00, come in black “caviar” or lilac “fairy dust.” Satin restraints, $18.00, or blindfolds, $18.00 are a good gift for any beginner BDSM’r. The “kitty whip” is $24.00, and the satin pasties,$18.00, match the cut out/peekaboo bra from her lingerie collection. The top three best sellers are the black handcuffs, the satin restraints, and the lilac handcuffs. Hot stuff. Perfect for the upcoming Burning Man if you need an outfit. Check out the accessories line here.

Her lingerie line is sweet, sexy, and fun with fluffy marabou teddies and bras, cute babydolls, and a see-through marabou “pantsuit.” Prices range from $42.00-$79.00. The line is sized XS to 3XL so if you have a big bootie, you’re covered. Check out her pretty undie line here. Before that, she debuted her makeup line, called “Beauty For All.”

Rihanna opened up in Vanity Fair about life, love, and the sex life of a female pop star. The 29-year-old says that she likes gentleman but “now men are afraid to men. They think if you’re nice or even affectionate to your girl in front of your boys you’re less of a man. It’s so sick. They won’t be gentlemen because that makes them appear soft. That’s what we’re dealing with now, a hundred percent, and girls are settling for that, but I won’t. I will wait forever if I have to… but that’s O.K.”

As as far as fame goes she says “Sometimes it’s the first time I’m meeting this person–and then all of a sudden I’m “with them.” It freaks me out. It makes me very guarded and protective.”

And what about sex? “If I wanted to I would completely do that (hooking up),” she says. “But that would be empty for me; that to me is a hollow move. I would wake up the next day feeling like shit. That’s why I haven’t been having sex or seeing anybody. I mean I get horny, I’m human.”

But she’s hopeful, as she should be: “A very extraordinary gentleman with a lot of patience will come along when I least expect it. So one day, I say someone will come in on a white horse…”No” she says laughing, “Not on a white horse. Probably on a black motorcycle.”


South Korea’s Pulsating “Penis Park”

There is nothing more invigorating than a walk in the park. But in Korea, the “Penis Park” is an especially stimulating stroll. The park consists of giant schlong sculptures, from totem poles to penile park benches. There are 50 of them; some made from stone, and some carved from wood, for massive woodies.

The park is popular with people of all ages, which is interesting considering how sexually conservative South Korea is. But the long and short of it is that people in Korea enjoy sitting, looking at, and playing with humongous penises. The “boner benches” look like the most fun, with people straddling them for selfies to make it look like they have foot long hot dogs.

According to legend, Haesingdang Park was erected when a woman was left by her fisherman boyfriend on a rock in the sea while he fished. He was unable to retrieve her, and she ended up drowning. After that, the village people were suddenly, and strangely, unable to catch fish. One day, a fisherman urinated into the water and afterward, he was able to catch fish, so someone (a male, obviously,) got the idea that exposing the deceased virgin to dongs would please her. To “soothe her spirit” further, the local village people made several phallic wooden carvings and held religious ceremonies on her behalf. After a while, the fish slowly returned and the villagers in the fishing town were able to live a comfortably again. The dang dongs did it!

There is also a small folk museum in the park called the “Village Folk Museum” that has art objects by Korean artists devoted to “sex iconography”  for “joy, spirituality, and sexuality.” At one point the town of nearby Samcheok held a “Penis culture festival.” No doubt dick jokes ensued at that event. During the Olympics in Seoul, the penis park was a popular tourist attraction for Olympians from around the world, who btw went through a massive amount of condoms on their own erect totem poles.

Next, we’re hoping someone comes up with a new park called “Vagina Valley.”

A gigantic woodie.

Photos from Wikipedia Commons.

Here is a short Facebook video about the park. If they really wanted to make some money, they should have a penis themed gift shop. And yes, you’re allowed to touch the art. Or stroke it. Or sit on it. Or whatever you want to do with it.

Speed Dating For The “Well Hung” Pops Up in NYC

Ladies: Looking for a guy with a monster penis? “Hung Speed Dating” is a new speed dating night in New York City for women looking for “larger than average” dates. I mean dongs.

The organizers are looking for daters who are “7 inches and above” and the size queens who love them. “Male attendees are packing 7 INCHES AND BIGGER and are anything but average,” say the venue’s organizers. “What are the key indicators?” They ask. “Height? Big hands? Big feet? There’s no sure-fire formula and unfortunately, we can’t just straight up ask on a first date without coming across as only wanting one thing. We therefore “date”, hoping, anticipating, and unfortunately, more unfortunately, more often than not, end up finding out with weeks or even months invested that the guy comes up WAY short.” Don’t even think about going to this thing if your thing is a teenie weenie.

On Speed Dating was created for “socially confident, city-dwelling singles” with events “themed around people’s dating “dealbreakers” including heights, political views, lifestyles, hair color, body types, professions, interests, and hobbies,” they say. The speed dating events are now held in New York City and Austin, Texas, and will be coming soon to Los Angeles. Other events included “Silver Fox Gay Dating,” where guys can find “sexy, older men who tend to be more mature, worldly, and experienced.” A “Rescue Me” event featured hot firefighters and EMS workers. “Mix and mingle with New York’s bravest” read the flyer.

There is also “Geek Dating,” “Short Dating”, “Tall Dating,” and “Younger Men/Older Women,” where the women are over 35 and the men are 28-34. My “over 75-year-old” Mom wants to go to that one.

In 2008 founders Amber Soletti and Carmen Di Re were “living the single life in NYC” and after experiencing a “first-hand a major gap in services for successful, single professionals,” they decided to introduce their own “unique singles’s events.” “Having spent our careers as executives in the business world (he in tech, she in beauty marketing) they “created a way for singles to find exactly what they are looking for, on their terms.”

Co-founder Amber got lucky and ended up meeting her man on a “Size Matters” speed dating event for tall people. He is 6″6. There is someone for everyone.

The next “Hung” event is Saturday, July 28th at the Watering Hole, 106 E 19th Street, New York, New York, 10003. Men are charge $40.00 and women $30.00. It’s going to be huge.

Photo: WikipediaCommons

The New York Times Wants To Hear Your Stories Of “Miscommunicated” Sexual Encounters

The New York Times, which has done a great job of telling stories that needed to be told– including reporting on Harvey Weinstein and other sexual harassers, has decided to get some sex stories from its own readers.

“We’re looking for stories about sex that was troubling or awkward, hilarious or profound, from people of all ages, races, gender identities, sexualities and abilities,” they posted. “The point of this project is to bring our inner voices out, shedding light on where communication about sex breaks down and why.”

With the way people act these days, they should have plenty of ridiculously awkward dating and sex stories. Like a first date I had where a guy told me he was “in love with my toes”, “couldn’t keep his eyes off them,” and asked me to wiggle them in my sandals. Dude, my eyes are up here. Check please.

“Sometimes, we leave sex thinking, “What exactly just happened?” noted the Times. Me too. Join the club. “Stories of how we communicate about sex and intimacy are rare,”
they said. “That’s where you come in.”

I love this, as the real problem we have concerning sex is communicating about sex. Either too many things are left unspoken in a relationship or people turn each other off with TMI on the first date.

“The New York Times is seeking your stories of miscommunication around sex for multiple projects, including an episode of our podcast The Daily. Share your story at (212) 556-8300.”

“Are you a young person who had an intimate experience that was anything but intimate?” the Times asked. (Yep, I started to have sex once when I was 21, and noticed a pair of eyes peeking out from a closet. It was the guy’s nosy roommate.)

“Divorced and confused after a night with someone you met on a freshly downloaded dating app?” they wondered. (I didn’t go out with him, but the first (and last) time I went on Tinder, I saw my neighbor’s husband on there.)

“Married and have that thing you just never talk about?” (Not married, but the guy I was in love with forget to tell me he was also in love with someone else.)

“Or perhaps you can tell us a story that exemplifies how sexual communication has changed since the first time you had sex,” (“Young men these days have no idea how to romance the girls,” according to my Mom. “They just want to text and then screw.”) Mom was just sayin’.

Now I can’t wait to see how other people answered these questions.

photo: wikipedia commons

Showtime Developing Scripted Show About Swingers

Showtime is developing a new half hour “dramedy” about swingers. Created by actress/writer Alanna Thompson, the series is told from three perspectives: a monogamous couple, a couple in an open relationship, and two singles who meet and fall in love at a swinger’s party. Now there’s a great alternative to meeting someone on Tinder.

According to Showtime, the show attempts to answer the question “Is there a meaningful, sustainable alternative to monogamy?” The drama and comedy material here revolving around partner swapping and polyamory could be endless. Dynamic Television , whose tagline is “always dramatic,” paired with Ms. Thompson for a previous pilot which they sold to NBC, and is now in development.

In 2017, Showtime debuted a swinger themed movie with a great name and a groovy poster by Southern California artist ShagPalm Swings stars Dianne Farr, Tia Carrere, and Sugar Lyn Beard. The story goes like this: “After moving to Palm Springs, a young married couple puts their love to the test when they discover their neighbors are swingers.”

“Married couple Allison and Mark Hughes are moving into their new Palm Springs home. Claire and Jim Ericson are their charismatic new neighbors. Claire, a sensual ex-model, and Jim, a music producer, embody the passionate marriage that Allison wants. Unable to sleep one night, Allison spies on the new neighbors with her camera, and sees a woman arriving to meet Jim next door. Allison investigates and discovers that their neighbors are swingers!” Talk about “neighborhood watch.”

You can stream the movie on Showtime here.

Poster by Shag.

And back in 2012, Showtime debuted Polyamory: Married & Dating, which ran for two seasons and 15 episodes into 2013. The reality show’s synopsis says “Lindsey and Anthony are legally married to each other and are both in a relationship with Vanessa. These three are a primary relationship and refer to themselves as “the Triad”. Kamala and Michael are legally married to each other, as are Jen and Tahl. The four of them refer to themselves as “The Pod”.

Season 2 premiered on August 15, 2013. “The pod of Kamala, Michael, Jen and Tahl is back with another new family. Chris and Leigh Ann are legally married and Megan is their girlfriend of 3 years. They refer to themselves as a “trio” and live in Hollywood.” The show introduced  the world to the polyamorous concept of of non-monogamous couples; which includes “thruples”, “foursomes”, and “moresomes.”

The show tackled such issues as jealousy, being married and being bi-sexual, and “coming out poly” to your Mother. (“Hi Mom, this is my boyfriend, and my girlfriend, and my other boyfriend, and his girlfriend.”)