Friday, March 24, 2017
Authors Posts by Anka Radakovich

Anka Radakovich

Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Sex Educator, Sexologist, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. She lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad. @ankarad

Why Couples Who Dress Together Stay Together

Couples who dress together stay together. 

A Japanese couple in their 60’s, married for 37 years, wear matching outfits. Every day. Unlike a lot of couples who can’t even get their guy to ditch the baseball cap he’s worn for 20 years, this couple has it going on.

With more than 395,000 followers in only 92 posts, the couple (“Bon” and “Pon”) became an instant hit on Instagram with their numbers meteorically climbing everyday.

The happy couple looks like they are having fun with it, keeping it casual, and inspiring us all. They have taken the matching sweater pic for the Christmas card to a new level.

Someone (we’re not sure who) has been snapping arty photos of them in front of fun backgrounds like art installations and art galleries, fashion windows, and locations with architectural or textured backgrounds. Some of the photos look like travel shots meet staged fashion photo. Whoever took the shots has an art gallery show all ready to go.

Relationship-wise, we like their “couple project”, something they did together for fun with a tangible result. Followers post comments like #relationshipgoals or “I want to be like them!” The couple pushes their look with hashtags like #whitehair, #greyhair, and #over60. What ever happened to those Gap ads? I’m sure someone has offered them a reality TV show by now.

Since the official honeymoon phase only lasts about a year, studies have shown that couples who do things together (non-sexual things) are happier. In one study, couples who tried “new and exciting” things together reported “higher satisfaction rates” with the relationship. “Exciting” activities (such as staging photo shoots in public places), as opposed to “pleasant” ones (like doing the crossword puzzle together) proved that a couple’s “self-expansion model” of “sharing stimulating activities” will bring a couple closer. Researchers found that “shared activities” and “causal direction” will “reduce boredom and enhance marital satisfaction.”

The couple holding hands. Their body language indicates that they are close and respect each other.

Nice product placement. Toyota should pay them for this. Or put them in an ad. Or maybe Toyota is behind this all.

People can’t get enough of this homey pair, as their Instagram followers increase substantially every day. We’d love to know who the photographer behind the photos are. And who the mystery couple is.

To get some matchy matchy fashion tips, follow the cute couple here on Instagram. We wish them 37 more happy years of matching outfits.

Photo credit: BONPON511/Instagram

It’s Tinder For Sperm Donors!

Want a baby but don’t have the sperm? Or the egg? Now there’s an app for that. It’s called “Just A Baby”, also being called “The Tinder of Sperm Donors.”

Conceived in Australia by Sydney-based developers Paul Ryan and Gerard Edwards, the app already has people around the world signing up to find a partner to be their “Baby Daddy.” Or Mama. Same sex couples are the app’s biggest users.

According to the app‘s creators “The definition of the family unit has changed. Just a Baby is a new mobile app connecting you with people who just want a baby. It puts power in your hands to meet biological conception partners. And, once you’ve found your ideal conception partner, we can help you connect with legal, family counselling and fertility services, so you can begin your journey with confidence. Just download the Just a Baby app, start swiping and start a family — your way. Be part of the change.”

Ryan first came up with the idea for the app when he started thinking about his own, same-sex parenting dilemma. “I was in my 30’s and was looking at my situation and at those around me, it was just evident that there were increasing pressures against the traditional models of raising a child and on traditional families,” Ryan told the Australian Daily Telegraph. “There is a lot more acceptance now around same-sex relationships, empowerment of women, people putting off having kids until later. But it’s not widely spoken about and there still is this incredible amount of pressure and lack of options for people in their 30’s to 40’s to start families.” The app is an alternative to super expensive in-vitro fertilization, and adoption agencies who are often way too conservative regarding alternative families. Plus, many people want their own biological child.

The app works by connecting people who wants a child with people who can help them. That means anyone along the chain from same-sex couples (or single people) looking for a surrogate, egg donor, or just the sperm to finding a lawyer who specializes in this. People look for each other by swiping like they are on Tinder.

Ryan told Sunrise AU, a morning television show in Sydney, that in addition to same-sex couples the apps attracts “a lot of single men and single women, as well as people with fertility issues.” He also advises people to “get some legal advice before you have the kid, not after.”

Ask Men Study Reveals America’s Favorite Sex Positions

Askmen has revealed what sexual positions Americans most searched for. It looked at Google AdWords data and found that doggy style was the number one searched sex position in the U.S. Go doggy. At second place was 69, and third was woman-on-top. Keep in mind that the majority of people googling “sex positions” at 1 in the morning are men.

In various studies where women were asked what their favorite positions are, they usually liked 1.) missionary, 2.) woman on top, and 3.) side-by side, as those positions hit the sweet spot more for women, where as doggy is more pleasurable for men.

The new study also measured searches by state and found that Missourians enjoyed the “Criss Cross” position (“scissoring”) and Massachusetts was big on “face-sitting.”

The state that looked up sex positions the most was Wyoming, where presumably there isn’t much else to do, followed by Vermont, Rhode Island, North Dakota, and Alaska. Although not a state, Washington, D.C. was included in the sex study and was found to have 4 times the number of people searching for sex positions of any state. No wonder Washington is having a hard time getting any work done.

According to askmen, “Overall, the U.S. has an interest in creative sex positions that’s as varied and diverse as its population” but says “It should be noted that missionary wasn’t the most popular position search in any state.” Again, men are doggies.

In the “searches based on local preferences” section, the “spread eagle” position ranked in Wyoming. The “magic bullet” position, popular in South Dakota, consists of the man kneeling on the bed while the woman lies on her back and lifts her legs up on his shoulders. It’s good for hitting the G-spot and makes the guy do most of the work.

The “fire hydrant” (a more athletic variant on doggy style where the woman puts her hands on the floor and the guy lifts her legs up off the floor), ranked in Delaware and 6 other states. The “overpass”, a variation of “the pile driver,” is a position popular with gay men where one person gets on their back and lifts their legs up, while the other person sits on their butt for anal penetration, was something people in West Virginia and Virginia searched for. (The license plates in Virginia say “Virginia is for lovers.”)

For adventurous lovers out there, the Loveologist Guide to Playful Positions ebook  will “make your sex even steamier by finding the position that pleases you most. Whether you like to be on top or bottom, backwards or forwards, it will help you find a position that suits your needs and stimulates all the right spots. Filled with instructional pictures, no questions will be left unanswered as to how to get the sexual pleasure you deserve.” We recommend reading about new positions first before doing them, which makes doing new, weird positions less work and more fun.


Inventor Of Viagra Invents Premature Ejaculation Boner Spray

One of the inventors of Viagra has introduced a product for men who want sex to last more than 2 minutes. Professor Mike Wyllie, one of the team of U.K scientists who developed Viagra in the 1990s, claims Fortacin can help men go up to 10 times longer in the bedroom. One spray of the stuff and she will no longer be saying “That was it?”

Wyllie, formerly with big pharma company Pfizer, worked under Dr. Simon Campbell, who is credited as the inventor of Viagra, and who was knighted by the Queen. (Viagra was invented by accident, when the scientists noticed that patients who took the drug for high blood pressure were popping boners instead.)

Wyllie, who is now with a small U.K. biotech firm Plethora Solutions, told the U.K. DailyMail “Premature ejaculation has a devastating effect on relationships. It may not be talked about as much as erectile dysfunction, but there’s no doubt can cause the same level of distress for both a man and his partner.”

It can be used a two hours before sex and takes about five minutes to work it’s magic. (We recommend using a condom so it doesn’t get all over her lady bits.)

Lidocaine and prilocaine are local anaesthetics that temporarily numb the “raging beast” by reversibly blocking the transmission of signals in the nerves. This reduces sensitivity to stimulation, helping to increase the time taken to ejaculate.

The effectiveness of Fortacin has been shown in two main studies involving 256 and 300 heterosexual adult men with premature ejaculation. Both studies compared the medicine with a placebo spray over 12 weeks. The main measures of effectiveness were the time it too to ejaculate after penetration, and the amount of control over ejaculation. In the first study, the average time to ejaculation in patients treated with Fortacin was 2.6 minutes, compared with 0.8 minutes in those using placebo. In the second study, average ejaculation time in patients was 3.8 minutes compared with 1.1 minutes in the placebo group. Hey, I’ll take 3.8 minutes of hot sex over 1.1 minutes!

Fortacin is only available from the U.K. online pharmacy Chemist 4 U. It costs about $125, but worth it if she’s fed up with sex being over before it even starts.

Lidocaine sprays such as Promescent have been on the market for years, and urologists do recommend them as a quick fix for premature ejaculation. Fortacin combines both lidocaine and prilocaine, a more effective combo, but only available by prescription in the U.K. But for anyone who wants to try Promescent, which also works, you can buy a trial size on Amazon and in drug stores for $20.00. And we also like Promescent’s slogan: “Make love longer.”

The Real Reason Sex Makes People Happy

Sex is great, but cuddling afterwards is what really makes people happy, according to a new study. The series of four studies, called “More Than Just Sex,” “Affection Mediates The Association Between Sexual Activity And Well-Being,” found that hugging = happiness.

The first study, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, questioned 335 men and women, asking them how often they often they did it, whether or not they kissed, hugged, or cuddled while doing it, and their how happy they were generally in life. Respondents who were the cuddlers and huggers were the happiest.

“Sex is associated with greater individual well-being, but little is know about why this occurs,” the study found. “We predicted that experienced affection would account for the association between sex and well-being.”

In the second study, 106 couples, mostly married with children, were asked to keep a diary for ten days. Each couple kept track of when they had sex, when affection was shown, and what their mood was like. The tracking included “moments of love and security” and “affectionate or thoughtful signs from my partner.” (“He just said I was cute and funny then hugged me. She just said I had a great ass and grabbed it.”) People are simple.

Anik Debrot, a researcher at the Cognition & Affect Regulation Laboratory at the University of Lausanne in Switzerland, led the study of couples in the San Francisco Bay area. She said “People who felt more positive emotions, like joy and optimism, after having sex with their partner, showed more relationship satisfaction after a 6-month period. This shows that what is good for you is good for your relationship. Our findings underscore the importance of affection and positive affect for understanding how sex promotes well-being, and has long-term relational benefits.”

Studies of actual cuddling has shown that it raises Oxytocin levels in the brain. Oxytocin is a hormone secreted by the posterior lobe of the pituitary gland, a pea-sized thingee at the base of the brain. It’s often known as the “cuddle hormone” or the “love hormone,” because it is released when people get their cuddle on. Exercising, listening to music, or even playing with your dog can raise Oxytocin levels. (Playing with yourself will do it too.)

Next, Debrot told the Today Show, “We want to test this hypothesis in a future study. A life period where sexual frequency, and relationship satisfaction, tend to decline in the postpartum period. We want to test whether the couples who maintain high levels of physical affection are protected from those declines after the birth of their child.”


Man Caught Having Sex With Mailbox!

Talk about loving your job. A little too much. An Irish postman was caught having sex with a customer’s mailbox.

According to The Belfast Telegraph, a postal customer noticed “suspicious” activity in front of his mailbox. So he installed a  camera above the door to catch the suspected “mailbox masturbator” who really liked his mailbox.

Footage revealed a van from the Irish Global Mail Company walking to the door, sliding his “postmaster general” into the mailbox, and rubbing it against the opening. “On a second occasion,” says the Telegraph “The offender noticed the camera while he was carrying out the sex act.”

The postie was later identified as 52-year-old David Camblin. He pleaded guilty to three counts of damaging a door and floor over a six-month period. Apparently, he was a repeat mailbox offender and started going “steady” with the mailbox. When police interviewed Camblin, he could offer no explanation other than to describe the act as “spontaneous”.

The judge ordered the mailbox offender to pay £500 ($650) in compensation, placed on 12 months’ probation and ordered to do 100 hours of community service.

Objectfilia  or “object sexuality” is a sexual fetish where people get sexually fixated on an object. In the past few years, newspapers have reported people getting it on with bikes, public sculptures, picnic tables, park benches, a cardboard cut-out of a Rite Aid sunglasses model, and a gumball machine. In the case of the picnic table, the guy banged the hole where the umbrella goes. In the case of the park bench, the guy went to town on one of the holes in the metal bench, got his junk caught in there, and the fire dept had to take the him–and the entire bench–to the ER.

“Amanda Liberty” told the Daily Mail that the Statue of Liberty “is my long-distance lover and I am blown away by how stunning she is. Other people might be shocked to think I can have romantic feelings for an object, but I am not the same as them.” Three weeks later Reighner Deleighnie declared her love for a short marble statue of Adonis who she named “Hans”.

Erika Eiffel, who adopted her name after a 2007 “marriage” to the Eiffel Tower, founded OS Internationale, an educational website and online site for people identifying or researching the condition to love objects.

Our only advice is to think twice about having sex with anything in public, because someone could be filming it, and you could end up in a youtube video forever going to town with a picnic bench.



Who Has The Most Orgasms?

A massive study of 52,600 Americans revealed who has the most orgasms. And it’s not women.

The study, called “Differences in orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual men and women in a U.S. national sample”, found that heterosexual males have the most orgasms. And heterosexual females have the least. I totally appreciate gigantic sex studies, but every girl I know could have told you that. The good news; there’s hope for more straight girl orgasms.

The study was published in Archives of Sexual Behaviour, and was conducted by Indiana University, (home of the Kinsey Institute, a sex research institution) along with Chapman and Claremont University. The study was initiated to “close the orgasm gap.” Thanks! Somebody had to do something!

The percentage of people who had an orgasm while having sex were as follows:

  • 65% of heterosexual women
  • 66% of bisexual women
  • 86% of lesbian women
  • 88% of bisexual men
  • 89% of gay men
  • 95% of heterosexual men

The findings suggest how a “variety of behaviors” can be tried to increase orgasm frequency” include oral sex and manual stimulation. With the lack of real sex education in this country, many straight guys were never taught the basics. Young men are just anxious to stick it in. Women need to take control and tell men to, “Talk to the hand and use your fingers. And your tongue. And hey, the clitoris is over here.”

The study examined how over 30 different traits or behaviors were associated with frequency of orgasm when sexually intimate during the past month. A take-away was an emphasis on how the “orgasm gap can be reduced.” Few heterosexual women climaxed through penetrative sex alone, the study found.

“Women were more likely to orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deep kissing, manual genital stimulation, and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse,” the study concluded. The results suggest a variety of behaviors couples can try. There was a clear pattern between more oral sex and more orgasms in heterosexual women, lesbian women, bisexual women, gay men and bisexual men. More oral, more O’s, yo.

One of the studies used as a reference in this study was called the “Biopsychosocial models of women’s sexual response: Applications to management of ‘desire disorders’,” which was published in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy, a sexology journal.

Women were more likely to have a big O if women were:

  • Asking for what they wanted in bed
  • Praising their partner for something they did in bed
  • Calling or emailing to tease about doing something sexual
  • Wearing sexy lingerie
  • Trying new sexual positions
  • Anal stimulation
  • Talking about or acting out sexual fantasies
  • Engaging in sexy talk and expressions of love during sex

From an evolutionary standpoint, the study pointed out that “We consider sociocultural and evolutionary explanations for these orgasm gaps. The male orgasm is all about ejaculation to ensure reproduction while in women it “facilitates bonding with a long-term romantic partner”. Although some things never change, it’s time for climactic, orgasmic change.

Swedish Politician Proposes Weekly Paid “Sex Break”

A politician in Sweden has proposed that the 550 government workers in the small, picturesque town of Overtornea get paid for a weekly one-hour “sex break.” A great idea to boost company morale!

The proposal made headlines in Sweden, when the Expressen newspaper said “Suggestion: Let The Staff Have Sex During Work Hours.”

In the motion, Per-Erik Muskos writes that “The municipality suffers from a birth deficit. This means that childbirth should be encouraged. Sex is also an excellent form of exercise with documented positive effects on the welfare of the municipality. It should kill two birds with one stone and encourage employees to use their fitness hour to go home and have sex with their partner.” Good thinking! Can we get something like this going in the U.S.? Maybe it will increase productivity and cut down on sexual harassment at the office.

Muskos says “I think you should take the opportunity when you have an extra hour, perhaps without children at home. I do not think any relationships do well without sex. It may be useful to do it during working hours.” He continues his case with “I believe that sex is often in short supply. Everyday life is stressful and the children are at home. This could be an opportunity to have their own time, only for each other”.

The bill needs to be voted on by a majority of 31 counsel members to pass. Swedish newspapers reported that some council members joked that single people who didn’t have anyone to go home to would be using the paid hour to cruise for dates on Tinder.

The tiny town is located on the border of Finland, near Santa and the North Pole. It gets extremely cold up there in the winter, so this could help warm people up. For anyone who has never been to Sweden, it is one of the most sexually liberated countries in the world. Sex education starts in Kindergarten and the country has a history of feminism, which is taught in elementary school through high school, and makes Swedish men even sexier than they already are! Not to mention their sexy exports, such as True Blood hottie Alexander Skarsgard and actor Dolph Lundgren.

Swedes have a number of work benefits unheard of in America. This includes 480 days of paid parental leave, 90 of which can be shared with the Dad or same sex partner, and 2-3 daily coffee breaks. Only 1 percent of Swedes work overtime. Studies show that Sweden ranks as one of the “happiest nations in the world.”




New Spa Procedure “Freezes” Your Private Parts

A spa in Manchester, England has come up with the latest method to “boost your sex life.” The spa, Cryotherapy UK, says its ‘Love Mist’, is available to both men and women, but can only be performed by “trained professionals”. The “trained professionals” part is the scary part of someone freezing your private parts.

According to UK’s The Sun, the junk freezing process is supposed to increase endorphin levels as well as improve the appearance of the vagina, penis, and balls. And who doesn’t want “better looking” cooters, weiners, and balls?

When it comes to keeping up genital appearances, the spa said: “While the skin continues to feel the ‘freeze’ the body sends signals back and forth to the brain. These messengers tell the brain if there is damage to the tissues, to repair them. It generates a tighter, youthful, clear and vibrant genital skin appearance through boosting collagen.” It’s like a facial for your lady bits or man meat.

And how does this go down, down there? The “therapist” blasts a chilly -160 degree vapor over the “genital area” with a liquid nitrogen tank. “During the icy 30-minute treatment, reports the Sun, “which costs £50, the nitrogen is filtered and distributed through a funnel in the form of an ice-cold vapor”. Talk about frigid.

Fun fact: In the 1950’s, the completely sexist term “frigid” referred to women who weren’t interested in having sex with their husbands. The term was challenged in the 1960’s by feminists who blamed the condition on husbands who didn’t know how to give their wives an orgasm.

But back to genital freezing. The spa says it “improves clients’ sex drives as when the sub-zero temperature covers the skin, the sudden drop in heat stimulates the temperature receptors. This prompts the brain to transmit messages throughout the body so the blood vessels undergo ‘vasoconstriction’. The process produces a quicker blood flow and increases endorphin levels, generating a natural high.”

In our opinion, even though the procedure sounds plausible in theory, we wouldn’t go there. You are better off using ice on your junk, or a warming lube that does the same thing. The last thing you need is the “trained professional” who is not really trained, and they freeze your nuts or hoo-ha off.

Last year’s vagina trend was “vaginal steaming,” which was promoted by actress Gwneyth Paltrow. Several health reporters tried it, with one saying that after ten minutes she felt like it “fried” her lady parts.

But we do really like the idea of people trying new things to improve their sex lives.

What Porn Did People Watch Most In 2016?

The statistics on the world’s porn watching habits are in, and to no one’s surprise, people watched billions of pornos last year. That’s 92 billion videos to be exact, according to Pornhub’s big, pulsating study.

And what what countries watched the most porn on pornhub itself? USA was first, followed by Iceland 2nd, the U.K. 3rd and Canada 4th. New Zealand was 5th, Ireland 6th, and the horndogs in Scandinavia came in 7th (Norway) and 9th (Sweden.)

If an alien landed on earth and surveyed our porn viewing habits, he would first go to “Pornhub’s most popular search terms from 2016.” To prove that men are the ones who watch porn the most, “for the second year in a row”  ‘lesbian’ was the number one search term worldwide. Apparently, men have more mommy issues than previously thought with ‘Step Mom’ second (up 1 spot from last year) followed by ‘MILF’ up 2 places from 2015. ‘Lesbian scissoring’ jumped a couple dozen positions to make the top 20 this year. Girlfriends Films told us that while they make lesbian porn for a lesbian audience, “straight males” are their biggest audience.

“An all-new term that shot into our top search terms lists” says Pornhub is ‘Overwatch’, in reference to the video game released earlier in 2016. The same guys who watch video games watch porn and those same guys don’t get out much. Which brings us to “When exactly do people watch porn?”

10 pm-1 am are the biggest porn viewing hours, but more interesting are the statistics showing that people watch it a lot from 3-5pm in the afternoon. (This explains why so many businesses put you on on hold for so long during that time.)

One of the more interesting questions asked was “Who is your favorite porn star?” In practically every country surveyed, Kim Kardashian, a reluctant/non-professional porn star, came in number one. (Her leaked sex tape is one of the most popular porn vids of all time.) Coming in second and third in almost every country was Mia Khalifa and Sarah Palin impersonator and MILF Lisa Ann.

Other random findings included the fact that  “BBL” (“Big Beautiful Latina”) was searched more this year than last, especially in America, and that the younger you are, the more porn you watch. People 18-24 watched the most porn, followed by those 25-30.

The study even found local cultural differences, including the findings that New Zealanders like “Samoan porn”, Indians like “Aunty porn”, Chileans like “Pokemon porn”, Maltese like “giantess porn”, and  Finns like “Sauna porn.”